To you, all those miles away

"Akio wake up!"

Huh, who was that...mom?

"Cmon, you need to go to this audition, it's important, y'know."

Mom is always so loud in the mornings, I swear. I never got this when Tatsu-kun was around... My life changed, y'know?

I rubbed my eyes, still half asleep. I didn't want to say goodbye to the dream I had.

"Ugh...mom, just 5 more minutes, please...?"

"NO! It's a big day, and you know that."

Mom's voice softened; it was so soft it was almost comforting.

"Please...Akio, just get up."

Hearing that tone, what other choice did I have?

I got ready, then headed downstairs.

Since moving to America, it's been pretty lonely, I'll be honest. Since school doesn't start till August here, I've been auditioning for roles here and there to keep myself busy. Today was the second round of auditions, where all the girls who were picked went to audition in person. I'll be honest, as much of an outgoing person as I am, it was still pretty daunting.

As I was alone in my own world, a faint but soft voice brought me back to earth.

"Akio...you ok?"

It was Dad.

"...uh yeah! You know how I am, always in my own world. I'm alright - promise!"

I tried forcing a half-baked smile. Dad, being the perceptive man he was, saw through my facade - the same way Tatsumi saw... Gosh, I missed him.

In that moment, I felt a warm presence on top of my hand.

"Akio, whatever you need, your mom and I are here for you...and Tatsumi too. I know he's too stubborn to admit it, but he'd be so proud of you. It's not an easy choice you have made, that takes real guts.

So don't be too nervous about today, ok?"

I know he'd be proud. After all, I bet he's eagerly waiting for me back home. As much as he's pessimistic, he can also be a real charmer. He charmed me after all...

Mom chimed in.

Dad and I felt another comfortable presence.

"Yeah, Akio, don't be nervous. Know that I, your father, and Tatsumi are all in your corner.

Go in there and do your best; we'll worry about the result when it's here. We all love you."

Hearing those words was refreshing to say the least. All those months spent with him, everyone rejected us. Not anymore.

My eyes started to quiver; all those pure emotions hit me all at once.

"Mom dad...Tatsumi. I love you guys so much. Thanks for always encouraging me, I'm off now."

Mom turned her head towards me.

"See you later, love you."

"Love you too mom, love you dad"

-----------------

The spring breeze in Hollywood was cold. Way too cold. It was a far cry from Japan's warm cherry blossom-filled spring.

I looked up at the cloudless sky. Was Tatsu-kun seeing this, too? I hoped so. It was the only thing that made me feel close to him.

I know it's cheesy, but let a girl dream, ok?

All I can do is dream.

We're hopeless, aren't we, Tatsumi?

Knowing him, he's probably like a lost puppy without me. huh? I'd like to see the look on his face, but sadly, I don't have that luxury right now.

I can't wait to see him.

"That you, Akio?"

A raspy voice...who could that be?

I slowly turned my head towards the voice.

There stood an older-looking guy, probably mid 40s, I'd say. He looked a lot younger than his voice made him out to be... I'll tell you that much.

"Ah, sorry for startling you. You are Akio, though, correct?"

"..."

To put it bluntly, I was unsure of what to respond with. I was more embarrassed than anything else, after all, this guy just saw me looking up to the sky in a daze.

My head began to move up and down instinctively, although the words refused to spill out.

The man's head cocked at the sight of it all.

"You feeling, ok Akio-"

The man's tone softened.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name's Mike."

His pale hand began to reach out to me, clearly trying to fix the misunderstanding between us.

I made sure to at least learn a bit of English before coming over here, and I had gotten a decent grasp of the language.

Although it was harder than I'd like to admit.

In that moment, 'Mike's' face lit up, and his lip curled. It was probably enough to warm up the cold air we were both in.

"I'm one of the directors for your audition. I'll show you the rest of the way there if you'd like."

His aura was welcoming, as if he were the ray of sunshine I needed for a day like today, and hearing those words eased my nerves, if only slightly.

"S..sure. That would be a massive help, thank you."

-------------

Once we made it to the audition hall, I was in awe about how professional it all was. Really, it was nothing to snark at.

Strobe lights by the masses, and y'know those things, I think they're called clapboards. Yeah, they were there too!

Honestly, it felt like a fever dream. I had longed to be here, and it was hard to believe I was.

In every room was about 50 girls per director.

Everywhere was filled to the brim with

"Cut"

and

"Action"

It was truly an honour to be here.

I slowly made my way to my room, my heart pounding more with every step. Sweat was dripping from my palm. I had it rough.

'He would be so proud of you.'

Those words were the only thing keeping me sane in that moment; everything else was working itself to the bone. It kept me sane because I knew it was true, if the one I loved so dearly could see where I am now, he'd be so proud.

And maybe a tad bit jealous.

At last, my turn was up.

"Next, Akio Fujisawa, please."

The words, as daunting as they were, made my heart race. A bit due to nerves, I'm sure, but also because I finally had a platform to show off my talents. It was exhilarating.

I was also still getting used to people using my first name over here. It's a bit weird hearing everyone call me 'Akio' even though I don't know them. I guess I'll get used to it soon.

--------

At long last, Akio Fujisawa makes her return to the big screen!

Or so I thought...

"Ready Action!"

A bright light was cast over me, and I couldn't run anymore.

I had auditioned for a grounded romcom as the main female lead. I did so, hoping one day Tatsu-kun and I could act in it... together.

We were allowed to act out any scene we wished, this was so it captured our raw emotions.

My eyes quivered. Seemingly focused on making the directors watch me.

"Tatsu-kun...I know we are all these miles apart, I get that long distance is hard, but I love you - you changed me for the better. No matter where life takes us, I will always love you..."

My voice sharpened as the raw emotions of how I truly echoed throughout the room.

"So what if it's cheesy?! Or you get embarrassed easily? That's what the love I chose is!

We aren't some fictitious perfect couple; we are just Akio and Tatsumi, two souls brought together by a troubled past."

My voice began to crack. These words, they were the truth. The truth of our story.

So wherever you are, please wait for me!"

"And you'd better of made some friends...you idiot."

The cheers were through the roof.

These feelings that people thought were fictitious were blind to how I truly felt. After all, if we weren't 'Akio and Tatsumi', we weren't anything...y'know-

"Too cliche."

Those words cut harder than any knife could.

These words that had been bottling up for ages. All to be defaced like that.

"Too bad, kid. Next!"

I was thrown to the curb, like a lost puppy getting abandoned by its owner.

Why me?

The tears wouldn't stop flowing that night; I could've made a whole ocean full by how much there were.

As I left the auditorium, my eyes gazed up to the sky once again. hoping to feel its comforting warmth once again.

Tatsumi...what am I meant to do? Why is it always me who gets picked last?

The night sky lit up the gray world around me - the one you lit.

How do I be like you, Tatsumi? In my eyes, you've always shone so bright. It's been blinding.

But now we're apart, I feel like I'm lost, y'know?

I wonder what you're up to...