Aoi's Decision

I found your girl. -Hiroaki

She’s not mine. -Aoi

My brother then sent me a message with a picture of Mika, who seemed extremely confused, sitting in her usual park with her guitar. I couldn’t help but shake my head wondering what my brother had put her up to.

“Oh new talent, cute!” said Eiko, who was standing behind me and managed to catch a glimpse of my phone. She then took a closer look. “Wait, she looks…”

“A little different, yeah, I know.” I tried to cut her off from saying anything negative about Mika.

“And still quite plain. Fascinating! New talent?” Eiko kept pressing the topic that she had accidentally run into.

“That’s what we’re hoping for.”

“So you do work," said Eiko. I slightly resented the emphasis in her words. “Speaking of work, let’s get going, come on,” she said, pressing me forward. We had a busy schedule that day and couldn’t afford sitting around at the inn. Or at least that’s the impression she gave me.

Our days in Kyoto consisted of going to several meticulously picked tourist locations, from old temples to promote the city, to specific restaurants and other private businesses that wished to be included in Eiko’s media for advertising. We were never uncomfortable or lacked anything during our visits. Turns out if you’re advertising a product, they make sure you have no complaints-even if the average traveler’s experience was nothing like ours. Nothing about the trip was too surprising to me. I’ve had these meals and seen these sights before, they didn’t really impress me anymore.

Eiko, on the other hand, could at least pretend to be amazed. I’m not sure how she remained enthusiastic; she’d been touring the country, and other places, for at least two years. Maybe she truly believes in the beauty of these places, or maybe she can just play it up for the viewers since she’s a professional. I had never really bothered to ask her, because I’d risk making her potentially feel bad about what she had to do for her videos. I respect her either way, so I didn’t really want to make her overthink anything.

It turned out that evening was one of our rest days, which I found pleasant since trying to smile for Eiko’s fans could get exhausting. But unfortunately, there was no break for me.

“Put on something nice, we’re going out for dinner,” said Eiko suddenly, with a commanding voice that I found hard to reject.

“But the food at the inn is great and they’re expecting us.” I half-heartedly disagreed, even though I was curious about her alternative plan.

“It gets boring eating the same kind of food over and over, doesn’t it?” Eiko smiled, knowing I was not going to refuse.

And that was enough for us to end up at a fancy, French-inspired restaurant. Eiko had booked a driver to take us to Osaka, a city an hour away, far from the crowds of Kyoto that were partly her fault. Leaving the city made it easier to avoid being spotted by the public. The ride was quiet and peaceful. The sky slowly filled up with stars as the car drove us away from Kyoto.

Once we got to the restaurant, Eiko had a reservation for a private table, free from noise and other people. The foreign dishes were a welcome break from all the local cuisine we had sampled during our trip, and being able to be free from cameras and fans was a very welcome change of pace. The dinner itself was pleasant. At first we talked about our trip experiences, but then we talked about the more distant past and small talk accompanied by a glass of wine or two. I’d forgotten how nice it was to hang out with her, one on one, without having to constantly keep her channel in mind.

“So, how’s the food, did I pick right?” Eiko had a smug expression on her face, knowing this was exactly the kind of food I needed to take a break. By this point, we already had a few glasses of wine, but I still didn’t want to give her the satisfaction.

“I’ve had better,” I said, as I tried to focus on my meal and eyed my phone instead. I felt the pointy end of her shoe stabbing me on my shin. I let out a muffled expression of pain, and as I looked at her, she seemed annoyed.

“Are you ever satisfied?” She then looked at me with a serious face, “I went through all this to thank you and you can’t even change your expression once. Not everyone can have this kind of food often!”

That was the point where Eiko had fully caught my attention. She was wearing a short, but still modest blue dress, some fancy heels, and her hair was tied up in a gorgeous ponytail full of volume. It was difficult even for me, used to her looks and body, to not be completely drawn to it.

“It’s hard to be grateful when you kick me like that,” I told her, trying to escape from being absorbed by her beauty.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said as she let her shoe fall to the ground. “I’m just making sure you’re paying attention, you know?” Suddenly, I felt Eiko’s foot gently rub my shin under the table. I almost instantly started losing track of the conversation. The bottle of wine we shared had done a number on both of us. I slowly felt like I was losing my grip on the situation as Eiko’s foot caressed my leg, slowly working her way towards my knee. Even though I was somewhat used to her antics, I wasn’t immune, especially with alcohol involved.

A waiter knocked before walking into our private room, stopping Eiko short. I had fortunately managed to press a button to call him right as Eiko was making her move.

“We’ll sample your desserts now.” I managed to speak while pretending like nothing had happened. The waiter nodded and left. Knowing he’d come back, Eiko simply sat still, staring at me, aware that I had planned this.

“You’re no fun are you.” She looked at me upset.

“We’re not really a couple, should we be…”

“Except we are according to everyone else, but you.”

Eiko’s words made me think back on our relationship, and how we had ended up like we did. What alarmed me the most was the realization that maybe Eiko had wanted a real relationship all along, and I had simply ignored her feelings this whole time. But I found that hard to believe, at least immediately. We were like siblings at this point, how did her feelings evolve like this? Or perhaps… I had to make sure.

“Do you want this to be a real relationship, Eiko?” I looked at her directly, leaving no doubt that I was being serious.

“What do you think?” She looked away, still somewhat frustrated by the incident, and slightly embarrassed by my question. We both stayed silent, knowing we’d be interrupted by the waiter at any moment. That was a conversation we shouldn’t have in a place like that. Even though I wanted to hear an answer from her, she never answered my question directly. In fact, she remained silent for the rest of our meal. Once we were done eating, I arranged for payment and we left soon after.

A driver was scheduled, no doubt by Eiko, to pick us up right after our dinner. I failed to immediately notice that the driver was not taking us back to our inn, but to another luxury hotel instead. When I realized where we were, I tried to get Eiko's attention to ask her for an explanation, but she still refused to look back at me.

“You said you wanted a western style hotel, didn’t you?” she said, breaking the silence, noticing that I was trying to look at her at the time. She still refused to share eye contact with me. She spent the rest of the ride contemplating the city lights flashing by. Once we got to the hotel, we got out of the car and were quickly taken to our rooms, where sleeping robes were prepared for us. It was a beautiful room with one large bed for us, and everything seemed perfectly clean and arranged.

“Ahhh such a chore.” For the first time in a long time, I heard Eiko complain, almost like a spoiled child. Maybe all the work does get to her. Maybe maintaining her perfect image is exhausting even for her. She dropped her shoes as soon as she could and messily undressed in the bathroom, changing into her robe. I tried to ignore her, as I sat on the bed, waiting. She then quickly removed her makeup.

Eiko left the bathroom in a sleeping robe that seemed to slightly squeeze and flatter her features. I understood the wine’s effect hadn’t worn off yet, as I found it hard to look away.

“What are you waiting for,” said Eiko as she threw a robe towards me. “I know that stuff you’re wearing is uncomfortable. I know because I helped you shop for it.” Eiko simply collapsed on the bed next to me, waiting for me to change. I took my turn in the bathroom and complied with her request, if only to make her feel more at ease. I then made my way back to the bed and sat near her, still thinking what the right words were for the situation.

“I’m sorry. I have never felt that way for you, Eiko.” She deserved honesty. We’d been together in this fake relationship for too long, and I had perhaps made too many mistakes. Eiko simply waved her hands at me, as if asking me to not bother her. I sat in silence as Eiko lay down on top of the bed, right next to me.

“It’s just unfair you know.” Eiko finally looked at me while talking to me. “I can do all this, and I go through all these emotions, and it seems like nothing in you has ever changed.” Eiko then slowly got up and sat next to me, pressing her body on my side. Her arm’s soft skin touched with mine.

“Eiko, like I said, we’re not in a relationship…” I tried to reason with her even though it seemed both of us were past the point of using logic.

Eiko looked at me intently, with the warmth of her body irradiating onto mine, and softly whispered.

“Do we have to be?”