Does our future ever cross your mind? (3)

She tilts her head. "Sorry? For what?" ...God, don't do that. It reminds me too much of her.

I shrug off the tinge of disgust, not wanting a repeat of earlier today. "For being a dick to you earlier. Back at Fue-chan's house."

"Ahh...." She sighs, slumping down a bit. "F-Fueko... sensei......"

"She's worried sick about you."

"......" She curls into her knees.

I force a smile, debating on if I should be a bit of a snitch. "She was here just a moment ago. ...She didn't know what to say, since she didn't want to make things worse." Chii-chan needs to know her friends care about her-- I'll apologize to Fue-chan later, if need be.

Sighing, I turn to face her. Better now than never. "I'll be honest-- when I was staring at you earlier today, it wasn't because I was thinking about having to kill you. I won't pretend that it didn't cross my mind, but there's still more to it than that."

She turns to me, waiting for me to continue.

"I'd never said it to you before, but... the person who created all the Anxi, the person who killed your mother..." My breath staggers, discomfort rising as I force myself to be more open.

"...is my ex-girlfriend, Sono-" I stop myself, almost using my nickname for her. "Sonora. She used to be part of our magical girl group, in fact."

"Y-you see her in me, then."

My body tenses, admittedly not expecting her to catch on so quickly. "I do... yeah. At least, I see what she's done to you; to every Anxi we've fought. You can probably guess, but she's a wolf."

"Why... is she doing this?"

"She wants to make the world a better place. She's just got fucked up ways of going about it."

"Of course." Chii-chan growls, angered at my words-- no, more angered at Sonora, I think. I don't blame her, being a direct victim of her ideals.

"Fue-chan still takes responsibility for not stopping her-- I think that's why she's too scared to face you."

"She feels guilt... for what Sonora did to me?" She asks, chuckling after I nod. "T-that's just like her..."

"Like I said, she cares about you. We all do."

"I'm... glad for that, I think." She sighs. "Well, I-I-... no, I shouldn't say that."

"?"

She looks away, not responding.

"I'm here to listen, Chii-chan."

...

After hesitating for a bit, she relents. "There's... just a part of me that wishes you all didn't, I guess."

I frown, concerned. "Why's that?"

"W-well... it's just times like this, right? Where I feel like I just want to die, but since you all care about me, I feel guilty about it. Y'know? It'd be easier to leave this world if I didn't have people who cared about me in it, is what I mean."

"Yeah... I get that." I close my eyes, sighing. "I get that all too well, unfortunately. I've always just... felt like an NPC in everyone else's lives-- to the point I'd always wondered if people would even care if I'd just up and killed myself." I nearly choke on my words-- a-am I oversharing? "...I-I've been pretty good about pushing back my thoughts about my mortality-- at least before Sonora fucking ruined everything."

"?"

"She... had debilitating mortality anxiety. It's why she started doing the experiments that lead to the creation of the Anxi-- that bitch wanted to become immortal. And when that didn't work... she started weaponizing her failures as vigilante justice."

!

I gasp, feeling Chii-chan's sludgy hand gently pull me towards leaning onto her side.

"Wh...?"

"Y-you're... shaking. C-clenching yourself up so tight. Talking about her gets you upset, right? We... we don't need to talk about her anymore." She musters up a smile. "Apology accepted... Asahi-sensei. And, I'm s-sorry for snapping at you, too."

Coming to my senses, I smile lightly. "It's fine, I... I accept your apology, too." I think I'm supposed to say she doesn't need to apologize, but we're already being so truthful that I don't see the need to pretend I wasn't also upset-- even if me being hurt probably matters less in the grand scheme of things.

After sitting together in silence, Chii-chan looks back up to the sky. "...I don't know if I'll get used to this new body, though... I-I already felt so gross in my human body, but... now I feel way worse."

"You felt gross in your human body?"

"W-well, yeah. I'm not on any transmutation magics like you or Fueko-sensei. I've always felt so shabby and shitty in my human body."

I lower my head, chuckling a bit. "Yeah, well. I don't know how much it'll help, but I've always found you adorable, Chii-chan."

She stammers, flustered by my complement. "W-well, I mean... I-I-I-I just think I'd be cuter with tits and curves, to be honest..."

"Fair enough." That's... surprisingly blunt of her. I gesture for her to lower her head to my level. "I've got a counterpoint, Chii-chan." Then, I place my hands on both sides of her head... nuzzling our foreheads together. "You're still cute like this, too."

She blushes deeply, pulling away from me.

"?"

"N-no, I... I mean... I... ......"

I give her a moment to contemplate.

"I was... almost going to um..."

"Lick me?"

She nearly falls off the roof, embarrassed that I was able to guess exactly what she was going to say.

"H-h-how did..."

"Like I said. I dated a wolf girl. I know what their instincts are like~"

"Well... I-I just... I don't want to infect you or anything...!"

I scoff. "I'll be fine-- I've had worse run-ins with Anxi. And, well, I think we both need the comfort right now." I press forward, moving to scratch behind her ears.

She places her hands to mine, stopping me before I can start. "A-are you sure...? I don't want to remind you of her, or anything."

"It's fine-- this can be strictly platonic." ...My heart's with someone else anyway, I think. "And, besides."

"?"

"It'd be nice to rewrite some bad memories tonight. Don't you agree?" I start giving her scritches, before she can even respond. She giggles like a demonic schoolgirl, instinctively licking at my face in response.

"Eheheheheh.... Thank you... Asahi."

This... is a complicated feeling for me. I find my heart swimming in a sea of nostalgia, warmth, longing, regret. ...Fear.

...

Hope.