Chapter 38:

They're watching me through the walls

The Sequence of Kai


Things are following me. During the day, during the night, I’m stalked by flesh.Bookmark here

It’s been 3 days since I returned to Touen, and I haven’t slept a single second in what’s meant to be my bed.Bookmark here

My father didn’t get that day off work on my first day back, that’s what my mother told me anyway. Something came up at the board meeting apparently, but he’d definitely take tomorrow off. And the next day. And the next.Bookmark here

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On the first day I tried going into town to do some shopping, take my mind off things. That was the first day that ended with hysteric screaming.Bookmark here

I had gotten on the bus at the bottom of the hill to get to the shops. That early in the morning, I was the only passenger. Bookmark here

As the bus lipped over the hill just before town, that inferno of symbols flared up when I blinked. It was sitting at the next bus stop, waiting.Bookmark here

I started screaming at the bus driver.Bookmark here

“Turn around! Can’t you see it?! That monster waiting for me?!”Bookmark here

His startled look was unsurprising. I knew logically that he could not see what I saw but how could he not sense that?Bookmark here

With enough kneeling, sobbing and pleading, the bus driver did eventually turn around and drop me home. The advantages of being from a family that lives at the top of the hill, the bus wouldn’t turn around for most in Touen.Bookmark here

I stayed huddled up in my room until the same time the next day. I didn’t even make it as far as the bus that morning, I saw that invisible person waiting for me at my bus stop as soon as I was out our gate. I rushed back inside and locked my bedroom door.Bookmark here

My mother kept knocking, asking if I was OK. She gave up after a while, coming back every so often to check if I’d stopped crying. I hadn’t.Bookmark here

On the third day, I didn’t even leave the house. When I opened my curtains to look outside, both the invisible person and the inferno in a skin suit were hiding in the trees just beyond the estate.Bookmark here

I closed the curtains and curled up in the corner, unable to scream because my throat was too raw.Bookmark here

Today is my 4th day back.
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I didn’t sleep last night, even though I lay down for a number of hours. I spent too long with my eyes closed, tossing around in my bed to make sure that person from the car wasn’t coming for me.Bookmark here

The sun came up earlier and left just as quickly. I finally had to leave my room to get some food, my mother was already preparing dinner when I came downstairs. Bookmark here

Right now, we’re sitting in front of cold steaks and empty wine glasses. Bookmark here

Dad didn’t take work off today either. Not that I expected him to, not that I care. Bookmark here

I know that he’s been disappointed in me. My body was never acceptable, my ambition was never enough. He wanted a son, he told me as much. I’ve always felt unwanted when he’s around, it’s why I had to move away for college. Bookmark here

Even so, I am his daughter, when he heard I wanted to move away, he had the face of a child being told that the toys they haven’t played with in years are going to charity.Bookmark here

“Can I eat now?”Bookmark here

I want to go back to my room, it’s easier to see the forest from there.Bookmark here

“Oh Mallory, be patient, your father will be home any moment.”Bookmark here

She pours herself another glass of wine. It’s a four glass delay tonight, one more than usual. Every time I blink now, I see the pain she’s drowning. I had always thought she just liked wine.Bookmark here

I periodically look around with my eyes closed to make sure that the invisible person isn’t here. He’s not.Bookmark here

“What are you doing dear? Open your eyes.”Bookmark here

“Sorry, I’m just tired.”Bookmark here

“Try to stay up for dinner at least, your father would be so disappointed to not eat with you.”Bookmark here

That just means there’s something he wants to tell me, and he doesn’t want to come home tomorrow to say it. I don’t want him to come home tomorrow either so it’s fine.Bookmark here

Half a glass later and finally the estate gates open followed by the sound of dad’s car pulling into the garage. Bookmark here

He walks into the dining room and my mother jumps up (nearly spilling the remainder of her wine) to take his jacket off him.Bookmark here

“Ah Mallory, you’re still up.”Bookmark here

He walks over to me and kisses me on both cheeks.Bookmark here

“Welcome home.”Bookmark here

He sits down across the table and pours himself some wine.Bookmark here

“Do you want me to heat that up for you?”Bookmark here

“No, I’ve already eaten.”Bookmark here

“What about you Mallory?”Bookmark here

“Yes please.”Bookmark here

My mother takes both of our plates and puts them in the oven which she had never turned off. My father sips away at his wine in silence whilst he replies to texts on his phone. Bookmark here

“Don’t you have something to tell me?”Bookmark here

“Hm?”Bookmark here

He doesn’t look up from his phone.Bookmark here

“I thought you’d want to say something to your daughter who’s just come home.”Bookmark here

“I welcomed you home.”Bookmark here

“One who was just held hostage.”Bookmark here

“I thought you wouldn’t want to talk about that.”Bookmark here

“I don’t.”Bookmark here

“Then what are you complaining about?”Bookmark here

What am I complaining about? I’ve resolved myself to hate my father, it’s been that way since I could think for myself. I hated him because I knew he hated me. Why do I care now? Because he’s neglected to ask how I am? He’d probably prefer I’d never made it back after all. It’s not like me to care what he thinks, if I cared I never would’ve left home.Bookmark here

“Well, couldn’t you have asked, just to check how I am?”Bookmark here

“Why would I do that?”Bookmark here

“Because I’m your daughter!”Bookmark here

“If you’re going to shout at me at least open your goddamn eyes, Mallory.”Bookmark here

I hadn’t even realized but I’ve been looking at him with my eyes closed for a while now. Bookmark here

From the second he kissed my first cheek, I instinctively shut them. I’ve never liked seeing his face so close. Unlike normal though, I didn’t reopen them afterwards.Bookmark here

“Olivier, the doctors told us not to mention the eyes!”Bookmark here

My mother pleads with my father while trying her best to not turn towards me.Bookmark here

“If she thinks she’s a grown woman, then she can look me in the eye when she argues. I don’t want to hear any bullshit about sensitive topics, she clearly doesn’t care.”Bookmark here

He’s so calm. He never shouts. I thought I knew his truth, the kind of person he was. I was able to move forward by moving away from him, because I knew he was a hateful man. Bookmark here

But now that I can close my eyes and look past his face, I can see that’s not true. He doesn’t hate me; the symbols don’t convey that. He hasn’t secretly loved me either. Bookmark here

I look for what he thinks of me inside his soul, but I can’t find anything. Bookmark here

And that’s the truth.Bookmark here

A̸̢̗̫̹̥̻̿k̸̨̲̲̲̗̟͓̱͈̎̆̑͗͝͠͠h̷͕̊ḁ̴̡̠͖̗̮̅̽ͅͅj̴̠̬̫͉̈́͌̽̿̈́̈̆͝d̷̨̰̲̘̜̩̞̫̯̈́̾͆̉͆͛̈h̴̨̝̝͐̾̽͊̎͝k̸͉̗͖͇͊ä̶̦̙̩̥̘̣͎́̽͌̓̅̕͠s̴͈͓͈̥͚̮͍̦͚̀͐͒̿̄͗̀̆̋ḧ̶̡̛̪̗̇̎̕d̵̨̩̫͒̈́̾͆̓͑͑ś̶̺̗͎̥̬̥͍͂̍͒̽͘͠h̷̻̑̉̅̆̅͠ǎ̶̀̀̇͜j̸͇͔͙̞̰̉͜d̷̲̲̻͖̪͕̖̞̽͝ͅs̶̢̡͕͎̥̙̍͊̍̂͌͜ḩ̸̳́̽̿j̴̢̡̧͔͕͍͇͐a̵̙̤̍̆̽̃̉͘ḑ̸͎̖͙̝͎̬͈͛͝s̶̛̬̏̿̈́͝ ̸̩͈̲̻̯̪̯͍͓̆̏͐̓̂͐Bookmark here

All this time, he never loved or hated me. Bookmark here

Ṷ̷̮̉r̵̙̰͆̍͗́̒̾̅̊͝e̸̢̲͉̠͖̱͗ỉ̸̼̠͔̫͕͚͌ͅf̵̯͇͈̥̜͚̂̂̓͐̽͗̚̕h̷̢̟̫̬͌ķ̵̛̼̙͔͔̗̇̃̈̿́̈́d̷̢̫̻̫̞͕̑̃́̑̕j̴̨̛̎͊̓̈́h̷̛̼͓̝͍͚͙̹̅͊͑̄̏͆̕̕l̵̡͔͖̭̫̭̫̔̓̀̌ḳ̶̖̩̰̐̾̋͊j̸̪̀l̴͖̄͒̿̿͗f̵̰͙̪̻͈̖͗͌̅̚̚j̷̺̠̠̭͇͊͐̃͒̒͜͝d̷͔͔̼͖͉͉̈́̀̃̅ͅḟ̸̨̰̹͉͔̗̔ģ̴̡̨̨̦̩̰͉̄̍j̷̡̨̛̛̪̝̟̖̯͖͂̒͆̒͒͜͝Bookmark here

From the day I was born, he simply never cared. Bookmark here

For some reason, that’s more painful than what I thought before.Bookmark here

“Mallory, honey, it’s OK, your father didn’t mean it.”Bookmark here

My Mother lays a hand on my head to comfort me because, somewhere along the way, I’d started crying. Bookmark here

I can’t take it; I slap her hand off me and run upstairs to my room, locking the door behind me. Bookmark here

I don’t hear any arguing from downstairs, they’ve never been the type of parents to start big arguments, a line or two is the most they ever got into it.Bookmark here

I’m so tired, I can’t stop crying. I need to sleep. I don’t care anymore. If that invisible man is going to kill me, let it happen in my bed.Bookmark here

I crawl under the covers of a bed for the first time in a week, still crying softly. I try sleeping on my front.Bookmark here

A̷̯̗̪̬̓͒̎̑̔̀͝j̵̪͙̄̿å̸̧̧̨͍̝͖͈̖͌̒̓̔͝k̶̛͔̪͇̼͈̘̺̦̺̎̄͐́̒h̴̯̄͆͜d̴̩̙͔̺̭̮̟͖͖͂͌̎̍́̚͝͠â̶͔͇͙͓̆̀́̿́̑̈́̕s̷̱̻̘̹̫̯̲̓̌̾̔̆̿̕h̸̫̟͇̪̜̲̪̄̀̋̉̕ͅd̵͉̺́̓f̵̺̈͂̅̀̇̓ͅd̷̨̢̦̺̉͗̑͝r̸̩̝̮̐́̄̍̋̕͝h̶͓͚̫͕͇̼̳̣̱̀̿̽̅̆i̴̙̺̐̇̌̋̔r̴̙̱̼̤̺͌͂̎͗͌͐́̀̈́ḩ̸̢͕͎̈́̍̆̓̚̚͝͝Bookmark here

But I can see my parents downstairs. Bookmark here

I try to sleep on my sideBookmark here

Ḩ̷̥͙̰̘͖̋͐̄́̚̚͝u̶̢͊̅̌̎̐é̸͈̇̃̌͝͠ͅi̶̛͙͌̔͗ġ̴̨̰̋̄̌̓͛̍̕ͅķ̸̛͙̹͚͖̙̖̪͙̌̈́̌͋e̴̦͂r̸͉̻͇͋͜ȟ̵̡̧̛̻̌͝ͅf̷̮̰̩̔̌̾́̃̚͝r̵̘̀̇̈́ȩ̵̠̤̻̰̤͍̎͊̇͊̂̕̕͜ģ̷̨̝͉̦̻͎̘͕̄͋̃̑̀̈́͛̍͂ơ̸̫̜͇̤̚͠t̴͈̟̹̙̃̄̅̀̆̚͝͝l̶̢̛͓̯̫͊͆̓͗ǰ̴̨̛͉̦̻̳̐̍͌̔̚e̶̢̬̼͆͌̏́̀͛̄͠ͅBookmark here

But I can see our neighbours in the distance.Bookmark here

I don’t usually like sleeping on my back, but I don’t have a choice anymore.
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A̵̢̺̱̖̮͙̳̞͇͕̙̭̬̦͛̔̃̂̇͗̑͒͛̿͋̏͘s̴̛͔̣̺̠̞̫̻̀́̇͌͆̆̈́͘j̵͎͈̪͛d̶̢̨̡̮͓̹̗̦̙̙̰̽͂̋̂̄͗̉̾͛̓̾̀͝͝͠h̴̢̤̗̣̝̖̝̯̤̺̘͖͔̯̾̔̇̄̈́͆͆̔̎̐̍k̴̡̛̟̱̬̻̹̾̈́͊̈́̌͜͝j̷̘̳͓͈̬͗̀̑̇̐̀̊͋̍̎͆̈́̚a̶̮͔͒š̵̨̧̫̩͍͈͕̟͗̈̔́̓̆̌h̴̨̗̩̮̖͔̪͍̬̰̣̜̻̮͂̋̑̿͂̈́͊d̶̗̞̣̂à̶͈͚͓̩͚͇̳̥̠͓͖͐̋̽̕͜͠e̶̜̯̤̻͙̗̭̮̝̰̼͐̈́̊̐̊̆̀̇̓̒̀͂͂͊́̚ͅk̸͖̰̂e̴̗̝͉̥͓̐Bookmark here

J̴̡̛͚̲̬͇̠̖̯̜͈͔̎̀̏͆̇̅́̀̎͜a̸̢̺̘̼̹̯͉͎̻̳̭̹̫̳̝̪͑̊̔̉̍͂̂̀̒̏̚g̷͚̥̤̱͍̗͗̾̈́͒͗͗̓̓̌́̂́̅̄͑̿d̸̖͇̮̦̮̭̮͉̦͔̪͍̓͗ͅḩ̵͓̭̗̖͙͙̹̬̗̳̀̄̈̿̈́̈́̿̿̽͛͑̚͘͘͜͜į̴̠̝͕̹̳͂̐̍͆͂̽̉̚ṵ̵̧̡̻͕̩̬̣͚̏̎̀͆̀͋̽̔̂s̵̤̔̿̈̋̑̓͊̽̃̋̂͘͠g̵̡̣͚̙̍̊f̷̧̻̲͕͍̯̱̮̞͍͚̳͙̮̠̈́̌̅̾̑̈́̾͂̚͠ͅs̶̢̜̖͓͔͇͓̔͒̊̅͠ġ̶̨͓̭͍̙̺̪̦͈̍̐͂͋̕͝u̶̩̰̫͉̬̬̻̲̘̯̒̾̈́̅̾̇̑̐͋͜ͅě̸̛̝̍̓͛̑͋̊̄̇͂́́͛w̵̧̱̫̲͕̙̬̥̯͈̹̱̤̺̦̉̇̌̇̏͆̔̇̀̚͜f̷̨̝̬͓̮̱̟̲̺͕͑̎̿̈́̋̃̓́͋̌̈̌̕̕͜w̸̨̡̧̠͔͔̜̟̪͓̹̜̯̣͖̿̈́̀͋͊̇͂̓͋̿͜͝͝g̸̨̧̨̢̟͕̭̝̹̰͖͈̬̠̒͂̂͊̋̀̔̈͊̌͒̉̀̀̕͝i̶̡͙̥̹̘̻̗̞̙̯̳̞̾̓̈́̎́̆̒͒͑̈́̕f̵̧̣̀͐̿̋̔w̷̬̼̋ĝ̸̢̢̤̖̺̙̘̻̜̪̻̗͕̗͜f̷̢̬̣̤̟̩̽̿͊w̷͕̿̃̾̍̐̀́̍̍̏́̍̓͊̓͝ĩ̴̡̢̡̢̺̳͉͍͔̲̪̬̟͒́̋͒̓̔͘͝g̵̡̧̠̒͌͒̈̾̈̀̌̌̕̚ư̸̧̛̮̘͔̻̏͛̔͊̿͒̽́͌̐͝͝͝f̷̛̗̪̗̦͙̲̠̝͍͔͖̫̯̅̃̃̍͌̅̀͌̄͒̊Bookmark here

Ẃ̴̱͈u̴̮͍̣̔̍͌̊͒͑ǐ̶͎̱͓̘̟̊͋̾̍̏̌̔͌̚̕͜h̵̨̛̝̮̩̩̘̜̼̠͔̖͖̞̱̪͑͂͊͘f̵̛̬̂̎̿̈́̓̊̈͋̅̀̇̽̕͝ȋ̴̤̰͙͗̈́̍̽u̶̠̰̤͍͉͖̗͚̫̱̣̹̬̓ẉ̷͖͍̖͚̥͚̝̹͚̞͔̪̣̙̑̈́̄̇̀͗̿̄͑̎̀̒̍͘i̸̢̨̨̲̝̮̮̖̩͎͉̲̯̯̊̈́͒͊͌̇̕͜͝͠͝͝f̸̛͔̟͖̒͐͋͊̐̐̍̾̌͘͝ȩ̷̛̛͕̜̳̱͕̩̎̋̒̍̔̍͑̎̽̚̕ḧ̶̨̪͕̞̙͓̼̹͈̞͚̣̙̅͜͜͝ͅi̸͓̳̞̖͇͚̦̳̗̠͔͌̓̀͋̇̍̾̆̅̒͂̇͒̏͝e̷̪̲̭̳͂͋̌̅͒̈̎͆̉͠ͅf̷̧̡̫͙̈́̽̽͛͆̃͛̓̇̀̔̍̓͆͘u̶̡̱̮̪͉̝͑͑̆̂̂̐͊́̊͊̈́̓̚͝f̷͉͚͖̜͖͕̐̑̐̑̿͂͐̈̕͝ȩ̴̢̟̳̯̤̙͖̫͋̔̎͛͑͒͋̿̎͘͜ȋ̸̯̗͕̬̹̰͓͓̺̀͐̇̓̂̐͜͝g̶͚̬̲͉͐͒̒̔͊̌̆͛̏̒̆̂͘͜w̷͎̩̯͈̠̪͐̃̀͋f̵̢̢̡̩̩̹̪͔̦͎̖̳̦̈́͒̌̌̊̿̉͗̈͠ȕ̸̡̨̙̦̪͇͚̝̄̓̀́͂̑̀͋̋̈́̏g̵̭̥̠̖͂͂̿́̓̌́̇̋̆̈́͘ų̴̛̳̟͕̳̮͉̝̤͓̜̳͈͑͒̒͐̊͂̋̍̒͜͠͝e̵̙̓͋͑̑̾͝f̷̨̡̛̝͉͔̲͙̂̉͐ẘ̵̞̘͚̳̮̫͖͉̟͖̹͊͐ḯ̶̠̇̄͐͋̾͋̑̈́̐͂́̋͝u̴͖͊͋͂͜ę̷̛͍͉̻̯̝͔̄̎̓̌̽̅̀͒̒̿̍̅͠͠ĝ̸̛͉͎̦̯̾̃̃̀̏̅͐̈́̈́f̵̡̤͎̪̮͉̤̠͔̤̻̽͑̅͛̍̈́̕͝w̴̧̧̭̫̻̗̠͉̱̳̥̤͎̬̓̍͊̋̒̎̀̎͘ͅͅẉ̵̘͕͚̖͓͇̹̥̝̠͖̗̦̙̪͒͐͝g̶͚̀̆̀̐̅̍͋͝ͅę̸͉̬̟͗̎f̵̧͕͔͖̘̩̩̙̈́̀̓̃̑͑́̄͜f̵̨̢̬͕̬̖̝̩͍͓̜̭̳̰͑̊̓̈́̓̑̃̎͌͌̅̐͝ͅȩ̷̢̫͖̗͌̌̈́̎̀̏͐͝g̴̛̦͚̺̦̽̇͑w̷͕̣̭̦̫͎̼̼̿͝Bookmark here


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There’s no one above me. There can’t be anyone above me. It doesn’t make sense.Bookmark here

So why does the moon look like that? Why does it have an inner coil? It moves like a person’s but it’s gigantic. Bookmark here

It’s looking at me.Bookmark here

Why does the moon look like that?Bookmark here

Why does it look like that?Bookmark here

The moon. The moon. Why is the moon alive!Bookmark here

Why does it look like that?!Bookmark here

Why?!!!!Bookmark here

“Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!”Bookmark here

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