Silent Song

Kimberly sat down with her notepad. She skimmed through the text fragments. Individual sentences that had come to her. She wrote them all down. Only small parts would develop into a song. Preparation was important, and slowly Kim got into the right mood.

After pondering her past written thoughts, it was time to scribble down some more. Ideas that had formed in her mind over the day. Just fragments. Anchor points for her thoughts and emotions. For her ever-changing self. She still felt so immature.

Unknown place, unknown time. Well-known secret. A glimpse of me. Curse. Spells. It’s magic lost. Newfound meaning. Threshold between worlds. Layered shapes. Monster in a costume. Purple Sky. Purple Days. Twilight Hours. Spring nights.

It was time. Kim grabbed her guitar and left the notepad behind. She hurried to the center for the arts. One of the newer buildings on campus.

Officially, she only had twenty minutes left, but she knew she could stay half an hour longer without anyone saying anything. Kimberly had already tested the limits several times in recent months.

The small record room on the east side was locked, but Franca had managed to get a key for Kim. The academy was naturally delighted to have a minor celebrity among its students. Therefore, an exception was made for her.

She entered the room, turned on the lights and walked toward the mic shelf. Kim preferred the Neumann U87. The high-frequency focus of the newer Sony mics sounded too polished to her. She leaned her guitar against the wall and grabbed her favorite model from the shelf.

The studio's equipment was nothing compared to Square's and Kim was more into analog sound of older machines then into the cheaper ADAT recorder of the academy, but it was perfectly adequate for her process. In the end, most of her fans would only be able to access her songs digitally anyway. The CD had become the norm.

She took care of the setup and the remaining settings, sat down with her guitar, and was ready to start.

It started out as usual, playing around with chords, humming along and forming sentences. Half an hour passed and the song slowly took shape. Faster than usual. She was ready to record the first take.

(Verse 1)
Just there and us
Clear springtime nights
The slipping mask
Non-blinding lights
We walk on edge
The city’s wall
Waiting for words

That never fall

(Chorus)
Don’t stay up late
Don’t say it out loud
Don’t wish for more

Just not right now

(Verse 2)

If you ever stand
Back on that hill

Don’t tell me when

I’ll find you still

Back on that hill

No shadows cast
Two distant stars

Two distant stars

(Chorus)
Don’t stay up late
Don’t say it out loud
Don’t wish for more

Just not right now

Don’t stay up late

Don’t say it out loud
Don’t wish for more

Just not right now

The harmonic progression was lush with sustained chords. The melody carried by her vocals. Kim thought about experimenting with a few synth pads. Maybe reverbed electric guitars. A warm, rolling bass underpinning the harmony, not to overly complex. She could also imagine the drum pattern. Mid-tempo rhythmic foundation. Prominent kick and snare, subtle electronic percussion.

It felt liberating to give free rein to her feelings. Much of the doubt of the last few days faded away.

But Kimberly’s time in the recording room was running out. She would have to listen to her latest work the next day. No fine-tuning tonight.

Tidying up was done quickly, and she was on her way back to the dorm. The waxing moon cast its pale light on the school grounds. Kim, her guitar and their short shadow scurried across the paved paths, toward the dormitory, toward her room, and toward a good night's sleep.

Once again, she paused in front of the last door. Even though the silence continued, it didn't necessarily mean anything. She entered and sure enough, Eve was already back. Her roommate was lying on the bed reading a book.

“Hi there.”

“Welcome back. Been out all day?” Eve said without looking up from her book.

Kim took off her shoes and stowed the guitar under her bed.

“No, not really. Came back after the meeting. Spent some time at the library and had time left for a quick session at the center.”

She sat down on her bed. Eve rolled onto her side and looked at her.

“New song, huh?”

“Made some progress. I’ll probably finish it tomorrow.”

“Abby was looking for you.”

“We talked.”

“So, you have his number?”

“I do.”

“Did you call him.”

“Was a bit too late for that. Tomorrow, after school.”

“Nice.”

“What are you reading?”

“Cat’s Cradle. Assignment from Multi-Genre Literature. It’s about some guy who wants to write a book. Some science fiction stuff thrown in there for good measure. Don’t know what to think about it yet.”

“Did you talk to your boy from Saturday again?”

“Blake? No. It's his turn now. He has to learn to show some initiative himself.”

“Very educational of you.” Kim snickered.

“Well, he's quite cute. But I don't want to act like his mommy or anything.”

“You make your dynamic sound pretty weird.”

Eve laughed.

“Did Abby tell you anything about her intention with Gail? They really hit it off after you and that Robert guy were gone. When she was looking for you, she completely shut me down when I wanted to know more.”

“We're not that close.”

“True. But I think she would like to be friends with you.”

“She said so?”

“Pretty much.”

“She's really sweet, isn’t she? I'll try to be a little more sociable.”

“Sounds good to me. You're a sweetie too though and deserve more people who recognize your qualities.”

“Really?”

“What? You are my little sweetheart!”

“Shut up.”

“My little wallflower?”

“You're asking for it, aren't you?”

“My little troublemaker?”

Kim hurled her pillow straight at Eve's face. Her teasing friend caught it with ease and rolled around laughing, clutching the pillow tightly.

“You’re an idiot.”

Kim sighed and looked at the clock about the door frame. It was half past ten. Eve took advantage of the distraction and launched a counterattack. The pillow made contact with Kim's face. She fell backwards and stretched out all fours.

“I surrender.”

“Of course. My triumph was inevitable.”

“Time for bed?”

“Time for bed. The winner gets to use the bathroom first.”

“Whatever.”

Eve disappeared and Kim rolled onto her back. She threw the pillow, which had become the weapon of choice, into the air with both hands and caught it. Again, and again.

Her thoughts were already revolving around tomorrow. What would she say to him? Would they go out again? Maybe the next weekend? Yes! Again, on Saturday, after rehearsal. She would tell him everything. Everything that needed to be said.

Her roommate soon returned, and now it was Kimberly’s turn. The routine was quickly run through. Before she knew it, her blanket was already back up to her chin and the last light in their room faded out.

But sleep eluded her exhausted mind and body. Kim’s thoughts were caught in a loop. It felt as if her brain was cramping. A long night lay ahead.