What Now

"Welcome to the Queen's Chariot!"

Sota ignored Riku's eccentric greeting. He simply tossed his bag in the back of Riku's car and lowered himself into the passenger side seat. 

"I've got to admit, I was surprised to see your text," Riku admitted. "To decide to visit class again so quickly? Has a certain someone been on your mind?"

"Eat shit, Riku..."

Riku chuckled nervously. He expected that Sota's response would be a a bit too curt. It was clear this wasn't the way he had wanted things to go.

"I'll at least say this much... I think your plan to chat with Ren and apologize for what happened last weekend is a good call."

Sota didn't respond immediately, his face showed contemplation at the best reply. Riku gave him time, driving off towards the dojo. Given that a full week had passed since that event, Sota didn't need much time to piece his thoughts together...

"You're wrong," Sota finally noted.

"Oh?"

"About an apology. I won't ever apologize for protecting someone else. Having said that, I'm not going to pretend like I did a good deed. Escalating like that is the only tool I've ever been given that the world actually respects. I hate having to do it, but I hate the alternative of non-action even more..."

"Not like it's surprising how you've landed there over the years," Riku chuckled. "So then what? You're trying to ease the tension?"

"A situation like that should have some closure," Sota admitted. "I don't know what that will look like for Ren, but it can't happen if I stay away. If being there helps her with that, then so be it..."

"Interesting," Riku commented with a smirk. "It always amazes me how you have such clarity on these emotions...when it's doesn't involve your own self-worth."

Sota ignored the subtle jab Riku was trying to throw. He shifted his focus to the task at-hand. He may not have planned a second dojo visit so quickly, but he had a responsibility to carry out. 

***

"Good evening, boys..."

"Good evening, Sensei," Riku bowed. "I'm going to get changed for class!"

Riku jogged off, leaving Sota and Sensei standing alone near the back of the room. 

"Did you receive my text, Sensei?"

"I did...I assume the story you provided me didn't have additional details?"

"It did not..."

"Is there any point in me explaining to you why that course of action was improper?"

"Not at all. I knew full well what I was unleashing when I went into it. I don't need to be told it was wrong."

Sensei scanned Sota for some emotional undercurrent. He thought maybe there'd be guilt or frustration, but all he landed on was...

"Sadness," Sensei spoke aloud. "That's what it feels like to me. Am I correct?"

Sota pondered his words, turning off towards the dojo floor. 

"I'm under the impression that Ren is still attending class, correct?"

"Yes. I talked to her grandfather, and he seemed to be on-board with her continuing."

"And how is Ren?"

"Doing well, from when I saw her at class a couple of nights ago. She seems a bit shaken, but did say that her relationship with her grandfather seems to have bettered a bit after what happened. 

"So then my outburst led to a positive outcome..." Sota spoke aloud. "That's why I'm sad."

Sota walked off before Sensei could collect enough of his thoughts for a response. He could've followed, but decided against it. 

Sota changed into his own uniform and made his way outside towards the training field. He wasn't participating in class - he was there to work with and speak to Ren. While they warmed up, he decided to practice lightly outside and meditate.

From the field, he could hear the class commands be shouted from within the dojo. He used this as a gauge for timing, reflecting one final time on what had taken place last weekend and preparing himself for what Ren's reaction would be. She had not been told in-advance that he was going to be here. She would have only found out just before class started. 

He could now hear the groups dispersing for individual training. He stood from his meditation and turned towards the dojo door. He could see Ren and Sensei talking briefly just inside the doorway, and Ren's hesitant glance in his direction. 

After a few moments, Ren came jogging out with Sensei monitoring from the doorway.

"Good evening, Senpai!"

She bowed her head, as was customary. When she straightened, Sota could read her expression more clearly. Fortunately, her typical excitement and focus for class was still very much present. Underneath, though, he could see the uncertainty she was harboring. It wasn't afraid or negative in any way. Instead, it was asking a simple question. 

Ironically, the one to speak it first was Ren. 

"What now, Senpai?"

It caught Sota off-guard initially. She had asked the question in-reference to her practice for class. Did she realize what she had done? Either way, Sota could feel the weight of it

"Let's start with forms," Sota replied, dismissing his own question.

It didn't take too long for the tension to settle and for the status quo to return. Sensei watched for about twenty minutes, then decided he could comfortably return to the other students. Once they got into the rhythm, time began to go by significantly faster. 

"I think that's good for now," Sota finally interjected. "There's probably about ten minutes left before you head back inside. Any questions before we wrap up?"

Ren didn't respond immediately. She was catching her breath from completing her last form. Once she caught her breath, she met his gaze. 

"Will you continue to work with me, Senpai?" she asked. 

"I guess that depends. What do you feel is best?"

"I already told you how I felt when we all got lunch together," she replied firmly. "Or have you forgotten?"

Her directness and certainty were unexpected, but not completely unaccounted for by Sota. He had thought about this a lot - and he was prepared for several outcomes. 

"No...I didn't forget," he admitted. "Even so, that was before what happened with your grandfather..."

"I'm not gonna pretend that didn't happen..." she admitted, her gaze breaking briefly from his. 

She quickly regained her footing, however, and her eyes returned to him. 

"Still, I'm not going to be mad about someone coming to my defense! If anything, it only reinforces me wanting to work with you!"

Sota's expression widened momentarily, then quickly narrowed. 

"I see," he replied dismissively, shifting his gaze towards the door. "I'll think about it..."

He began towards the door, motioning for her to follow. There was no point in this conversation continuing further. It was painful for him to hear, but he knew it had been a possibility. If she chose to idolize what had happened, then distancing himself was the only smart decision. 

"You're wrong, Senpai..."

Her words were enough to stop his walking, but no more than that. He remained still, waiting for an explanation. 

"I'm sure you've thought about what happened a lot, as have I," she began. "Still, I can't imagine what you must've gone through to be able to become that dark. The fact that you still choose to be kind and gentle in spite of all that - is what amazes me about you the most."

Sota turned himself back towards Ren, officially caught off-guard and surprised by how mature her answer was. She wasn't facing him. She was still facing away from the dojo, staring out over the sunset beyond the training field. It was a moment frozen in time. 

"There you have it!" she finally turned to him, smiling. "Even if it's just the videos and occasional weekend training like we did before. I'll take whatever I can get!"