Food of The Gods

Had I gone blind?

My vision blurred as I continued looking for the other troops—fucking smoke bombs. Had they left us behind? That always felt like one of those threats people never made good on, like a teacher saying the bus will leave without you if you’re late. But if they hadn’t abandoned us, then I should have been able to see them through the trees—trees?---on standby.

My head pounded as I tried to think, something I wasn’t aware battle could cause. Maybe they had left us, but that just meant we needed to catch up. After that flashback though, I wasn’t sure what would happen if we met more enemies along the way. I’d thought I was okay after the building’s attack, but if that performance was anything to go off of, I clearly wasn’t. The idea that my mind could warp me somewhere else in the middle of combat was fucking terrifying. And the side effects were not fun, if my light-headedness was any indication. The most important thing was reuniting with the rest of the army, and maybe afterwards I could see a doctor about the warped colors I was seeing.The warped colors I was seeing would have to wait.

“Hey, Kyouko?” I asked over the walkie talkie. “How are things over there?”

“Holy shit, you’re alive!” came her quick reply. “Where the hell are you guys?!”

“We’re just falling be. . . behind?” As I spoke, I finally took a look around, absolute confusion consuming me.

Instead of bushes to hide us from the rebels, all I saw was trees. Looking through them, I didn’t see the rest of the army waiting for battle, but a Serow of all creatures. In its eyes, I was struck with how weird this all was. I could feel the breeze tickling the air; smell that scent that could only come from being in the middle of nature. But it didn’t make sense. Why were we in a clearing?

My body told me the answer. The light, pounding feeling in my head wasn’t from my flashback. And I wasn’t imagining it: the colors were wrong. How had the enemy gotten close enough to make us a magic trick? Had the original call for battle been a distraction?

“Is everyone here?” Shuto asked, ignoring me jolting at his voice.

A quick headcount told us we were in fact there and alive, but scouting the area didn’t reveal anything but nature. We tried interrogating the Searchers, but they just spewed bullshit at us for a while. Thankfully, Shuto whacked them with his kaleidoscope, so that shut them up at least. With no leads, we called Kyouko for guidance, who filled us in on what was going on.

On their end, they were starting to think there wasn’t a fight for them at all. None of their scouts had seen anyone, including Searchers. The spot where our troop had been waiting was completely empty, like we’d vanished into of thin air. In fact, everything around us had vanished, including the shrubbery. A quick peek told me that said bushes were with us. If nothing else, at least we had the power of hedges on our side.

Since there was no action for the main army, they let Kyouko try to teleport to us as they went back to base. I honestly didn’t think she could do it. ‘Forest’ wasn’t exactly a clear indicator on where to land, but apparently a Teleporter can use an item as a path. So long as it had some sort of connection, it could be used. It made me wonder what would happen if they misfired, like if they were aiming for a building and accidentally connected to someone’s phone. Come to think of it, what did Teleporters do before GPS connections?

“It doesn’t make sense,” Shuto was muttering. “Could they have somehow weaponized the symbols used by Teleporters? It isn’t logical. . .”

“I know what is logical,” Kyouko said. “Making a plan. It’s nice to be with you all, but I’d like to get back eventually.”

“Can’t you teleport back?” I asked.

“No,” she sighed, “the connection has to be two-way. Honestly, if it weren’t for the walkie talkies, I wouldn’t have been able to get here in the first place.”

That left me with several questions. Did she have to be holding the type of object she was connected to? Were my toys on a different frequency? If someone asked to conjure a GPS—so they never get lost or something—would it be on the same one? I wasn’t the only one confused, but at least I wasn’t losing my mind like Shuto was.

“It’s not possible,” he was saying, his hair quickly becoming a victim of his frazzled mindset. “This goes against everything I’ve ever—”

“Holy shit, Shuto,” Kyouko said. “This isn’t the time for science! We have to plan our next moves.”

“Science,” he said, “is the reason we’re in this mess. But if we could figure out how to utilize this. . .”

“Liking the ideas, but I think they’ll have to wait,” I said earnestly. “Kyouko’s right. We have to find out where we are.”

“I know,” Kyouko said, voice scarily cheery. She walked to the Searchers, still captive. “Let’s start with you.”

As if cued by a master conductor, they started on the same bullshit they’d spewed before. They were above us. They fought for a greater cause. But they soon found it hard to run their mouths once Kyouko produced a knife from her uniform.

“Alright, bitches, I’ve had a bad day. So you’re going to tell me what I want to know or I’ll slice you ‘till I get bored, teleport you in the air, and watch you flail to your miserable deaths. Are we clear?”

“Holy shit,” Shuto muttered, his eyes wide. Was it just me, or was he endeared by that?

One of the Searchers was brave enough to laugh. “You can threaten all you want, but you won’t be so haughty against what’s coming.”

“And that is…?”

“The blessing of the Forces!” cooed another one.

“The nourishment of our cause!” said the first.

“Cut the drama and just say it!” Patience. Thy name is not Kyouko.

“THE FOOD OF THE GODS!” They all spoke in unison.

Every one of our party froze before voices interlapped each other in chaos.

“Did I hit him too hard?

“Is this a rebellion or a cult?”

“Food?”

That last one was Kit, who chose that moment to peek from my pocket. Her tails swished in carefree joy as she flew out. Quickly, she assessed the situation: the unfamiliar terrain, the grown men doused in colorful sand. Knowing that not everyone could see her, she giggled as she ran in front of people, making faces. That made me smile. Even through unhinged prisoners and unplanned woodland vacations, she still found some way to make it silly.

Her lips quirking up at Kit’s antics, Kyouko stared at the captives. “Are you high or just insane?”

“Kyouko,” Shuto said, “Let’s not entertain the crazy people anymore, okay?”

“Oh, like you’re captain sane Mister ‘I kiss my research papers to sleep’?”

“I told you that in confidence,” he hissed. “And I don’t want to hear it from the person dumb enough to steal the commander’s camera for a selfie!”

“It was a bet and I WON!”

“Not everything is about winning!”

“Practice chemistry in your own time, guys!” It was a bad sign when the man playing with toys is the most focussed. Then again, lots of games required focus, so maybe it did make sense.

“What should we do now?” I said, channeling my inner zen.

“Let’s track our way back to the others,” Shuto suggested.

“No!” Kyouko cut in. “We should find and ambush them back! They probably think we’re dead, so this is the perfect opportunity!”

“Kyouko,” Shuto said with an eye roll, “we are stranded with no supplies and no allies. The best thing to do is find our way back.”

“Wars aren’t won on the safe path, Shuto,” she fired back.

“Okay, why don’t we rest first?” I was getting tired of playing the middle man. “Let’s get out of the open before they find us.”

I was more than relieved to have decided on something. As pretty as the area was—and kind of big, now that I thought about it—I was really stoked to get somewhere safer. Actually, I was really looking forward to sleeping tonight. Provided I survived the rest of the day, I knew I would have an amazing rest after all this shit. Though between that display and my stomach, my thoughts were probably going to include a lot of food.

“ORANGES!!!”

Yeah, those were pretty good. Why some guy would call that out was beyond me, but I turned to look at him pointing above us anyway. Following him, I thought I’d finally lost it as I saw them. Like when someone says it’ll happen when pigs fly, except these were oranges and they weren’t soaring.

They were falling.