You Absolute Idiot Sandwich - Side: Alex

"Yo!" An annoying voice reaches out to me from behind. It's Paladin Five, Trisha. "Alex, you want some champagne?"

What? You thought I was incapable of remembering anyone's name besides Sophie?

Yeah actually, you're kind of right. Took me a while to get the names of my squadmates down. A lot of them are a bit shallow, but they're not assholes like my training squadron, so we've become friends...sort of.

"Uh, no thanks. I don't drink..." I give her a grin despite the pain in my heart.

"Hic." She laughs. "Hey, why the long face? You're looking really fucked up now..." She looks to the room. "Well it's your party, so...suit yourself." She stumbles off, muttering something about me acting weird today.

Jeez. Try not to throw up on me like last time, you drunk. Ugh...

I tinker with the medal I got on my desk. Beyond the heroic value of a medal like this, Sophie was the one who put it on my uniform. I sniff the medal. Maybe that's creepy, I don't know, but maybe some of her scent is still on the thing.

Yeah no, that's really weird. What the hell, Alex?

"Heyo, Paladin Four!" Paladin One - uh, was his name Percy or Kay - comes up to me and greets me out of nowhere. "You uh, doing alright?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." I'm caught off guard once more.

"You may be an actor, but you don't fool me. You alright? You've been acting weird since the exercise." He pauses. "No, you were acting weird during it too. So tell me, what's wrong?"

"Oh." I tell him. Acting mode time. "Aww man, I just got told a lot of heavy stuff by the staff. Sorry if I worried you all." I shake my head. "Telling me about the war situation, how I have to be on my best behavior...that sort."

"Ah. Well come on, you should have told me sooner then! You had me all worried for nothing." Paladin One looks around the room and nods. "No wonder. You seemed like you liked parties when you first joined. Seems like I had you wrong then?"

"Yeah, I guess so." I say, lying through my teeth. To be fair, adult parties tend to be pretty boring. I think I enjoyed the high school dances more. Even with the jackasses there.

"Well, it doesn't matter, because we've just been invited ourselves, into the royal household troop squadron." Paladin One gives me a smile. "And it's all thanks to you, Alex." He grins. "So, thanks so much for being a part of our group. Let's try pull through this war without dying, alright?"

I feel guilty lying to him now.

"Definitely!" I give him a smile, but deep down, I realize that I'm going to have to do something about these feelings if I'm going to serve right. I'm sorry, P-One. 

***

It's the next day, and I find myself at the palace. It's getting dark outside, but the palace is well lit. Looks like wartime blackout measures aren't a thing on the main island.

The royal palace is truly breathtaking. It's not exactly empty today - there are soldiers, maids, and butlers ever now and then, but it's hardly bustling like it was during the ceremony.

I wonder where Sophie could be.

After wandering through the gardens for a while, I come across a small gazebo, upon which there is a beautiful woman, her hair flowing down over her shoulders and onto her back. She's fast asleep, slouched over the table. Her hairstyle's different today. I look around.

I remove my tunic, and drape it over her. The inner tunic does little to keep the autumn evening breeze out, but I tough it out for her. Samuel was a gentleman to his wife, wasn't he? I should be too.

"Nnng...huh?" Sophie slowly opens her eyes and looks around. Covering up the fact that I am freezing my ass off, I nonchalantly give her a friendly wave. "Huh?"

Oh right. Maybe being 'nonchalant' isn't actually the best course of action.

"Uh...hey!" Wow Alex. You are very intelligent. 

We stare at one another for a temporary time being, before I try to speak up.

"I'm sorry! I...saw you here, and I've been transferred to the palace during my uh..." I scratch my head. That's fine! I should let me eyes do the talking!
"..."
"..."
Wow Alex. That was a brilliant conversation.

"Do you...do you like gardens?" Sophie asks me, nervously. There's none of the elegance nor properness of last time. She sits up straighter, and notices the tunic around her. "Did...you give this to me?"

"You looked cold." I turn away from her. "I uh, well...it's nothing." I get up. After a moment of hesitation, I finally extend my hand. "Would you...be interested in a walk, your highness?" I give her the classic Alex grin. "Make up for last time. I don't think that previous meeting really showed you who I was." She takes my hand, and for a faint moment, there's a bashful smile on her face.

"I accept." 

We walk through the gardens, gazing out at the night sky. Despite the faint skyglow, I can see the stars.

"I'm surprised they don't have blackout mandates here. Must be all the air defenses."

We're silent again.

"I used to visit this palace every summer when I was a kid." Sophie finally says.

"Do you like it?"

"Better than the one on the mainland."

"I...should have asked. Why...why do you not like the palace?" I look down. The bankside we talked at is located deeper into the woods, but I can see the stream running past the palace as we walk along the garden.

"Alex." Sophie looks directly at me. "What would you think of me if I wasn't a princess?"

That catches me off guard. I stop walking.

"I don't know." I look at my feet. "I...I've asked myself that question all the time, honestly. What everyone would think of me if I wasn't-" I stop and look up at her. Now it's her turn to look away.

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. I know people only care about me because-" I don't dare finish that sentence. I don't dare finish that thought. It hurts too much.

"Is...that so?"

"More or less, yeah. Only two reasons really." Sophie looks downcast.

"We have that in common, then."

"Maybe." I start walking again, towards the rose bushes. "I didn't know you were a princess when I first met you. Way back when."

"Your...precious memory." She looks down.

"Yeah." I...gave you my cloak then. A starknight cloak. It was a movie prop, but we had so many-

Sophie produces a small brown handkerchief, and I'm confused as to why, but she brings it up closer to the light.

We are silent.

"Wait, is that...?"

"My...handkerchief." She says. "It used to be bigger, but my parents wanted to throw it out." We look at one another. "I...maybe that means something. I don't know." 

Sophie is breathtakingly beautiful in the moonlight. Now, it's her turn to look down.

"Tell me the story."

"I...it's nothing, really. It was the best day of my life. It was at the Annual Film Awards, and I saw you crying in the corner, I think." Sophie clutches the handkerchief tighter. "So I...you know, tried to cheer you up. I didn't know who you were, I just...gave you my cloak, I guess, and we talked a little while." I chuckle. "I feel like I was a lot cooler back then."

Do I tell her about the whole 'draping a cloak over her' moment like I did just now? Almost feels a little self indulgent. I decide not to say.

"Oh." Sophie looks at the brown 'handkerchief' for a moment before looking back up. "I...well, thank you. I might remember, if I try to think about it more. My parents had me throw out the rest of the cloak, so that's why my memory might be hazy. I just managed to save this bit." She shows me the handkerchief one more time.

"Why's they do that?"

"My parents were strict with me growing up. Even before I was a princess, I think." She looks out at the night sky once more. "Ah." She sighs. "I always had to go to bed at 8PM. Even in high school."

"That sound terrible!" I say out loud. "In high school? Seriously?" She looks at me surprised, then laughs.

"I...well, no. It's okay now."

"Well, it's almost 3AM, and we're still up." I stretch. "The night missions recently are giving me jet lag." My eyes dart back to her 'handkerchief", but I manage to look at her eyes again.

"I've been attending meetings with the Prime Minister and other officials more lately. Keeps me up often." I chuckle as Sophie tells me the story.

"Is that why you were asleep there?" Sophie giggles. 

"I...guess you got me." She gives me a sheepish smile. Silence befalls us once again.

"My parents were strict too. But I never realized it as a kid."

"What do you mean?"

"When I was little, I thought my parents were so proud of my acting. Like they were with me every step of the way. I thought they were being supportive. Now...I don't know. I feel like they were using me." I look down. "That's the only thing anyone wants out of me. How much utility I bring them."

"That's not true. You have friends, right? You have me, right?" Her. That strikes an arrow through my heart.

"Are we really...friends?"

"I think so. I am your friend, right?"

Yeah. And hopefully something a little more someday...

"You are. Princess or not. I just feel a lot more at ease talking to you." Some kind of tension fades away. We stop by a bench and sit on it, staring out into the night sky. "Hey, you watch any movies?" Sophie laughs.

"Are you curious to see if I've seen any of your films?" Her eyes light up.

"Partially. But I just really love movies. I wanted to see if you liked watching movies as well." There's an excited look in her eyes.

"Oh boy." Her tone is excited. None of that previous reservedness. "I hope you don't get tired of me talking your ear off, because there's a lot. I really like the historical ones..."

***

We spent the entire night talking about movies and films and history and internet memes. Despite that, there is not an ounce of tiredness in my body. I feel like a new man. As I descend the stairs of the palace, I Just feel like I've done it. I have done it. I've fucking done it, there's a path forward. There is hope.

This is the new best day of my life.