You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me

A keyboard appeared.

What in the fuck is this now?

Nathan stared at it. Somehow, it was a QWERTY keyboard.

Which made no sense.

His fingers twitched.

Hint: External messages have been received. You may type a reply.

External?
To what?

Nathan read the messages again.

Hello?
I've been trying to reach you.
Can you read this now?

His stomach tightened.

It read like a person.
Or a bot.
Like a spam email.

Which was ridiculous.

“What is this?” Kieran asked.

“Uh,” Nathan said. “Looks like someone wanted to say hello.”

“Someone?”

“Yes,” Nathan said, glancing at him. “You're seeing the same thing I am. It literally says hello.”

“For what purpose?”

Nathan hesitated.

Purpose?
No idea.

“Maybe,” Nathan said slowly, eyes still on the keyboard, “I should say hello back?”

“We should consider this carefully,” Kieran said.

Another message appeared.

Hello?

Nathan exhaled.

“I don't see a downside to engaging,” he said. “Whatever it is, it has access already.”

“Isn't that a bad thing?”

“I don't know. I don't even know what counts as good or bad here. Maybe this is just normal?”

“Normal,” Kieran repeated. “I would not describe any part of this as normal.”

“That's what I am saying!”

Welcome to my life.

Zam snored loudly from his bedroll.

They both turned.

Right, we aren't alone.

Nathan glanced toward Meru's tent.

He can probably hear everything if he's awake.
Maybe we should move away from camp?

Nathan looked back at the messages.

The cursor blinked.

Waiting.

Everything in him wanted the normalcy of typing a reply. A small, familiar thing. Like sending a text. It had been so long since he’d been able to do something so mundane, so… normal.

For a moment, he wanted it badly enough to forget everything else.

Danger be damned.
Consequences later.

His fingers moved toward the keyboard.

“Are you going to respond to it?” Kieran asked.

Nathan’s hands hovered. “That was my plan, yes.”

He looked up at Kieran. “I think I should. There might be answers.”

Kieran studied his face. Then he looked away, exhaling through his nose.

“Do what you will.”

He sat back down.

Nathan nodded and took a breath.

He typed out Hello and pressed enter.

The response was immediate.

Hello.
A synch really happened.
I was not certain it would.

Who are you?

For real?

“...Me?" Nathan muttered. "Who am I?”

Kieran leaned in a fraction. “It responded.”

“Yeah. Doesn't even know who they reached out to.”

“Odd.”

Nathan typed again.

Who are you?

I am Bertil.
I have been waiting for a successful interface user connection.
A descendant without a tag.

You must be.

I have many questions, and many variables I would like to confirm.

The interface.

“They seem talkative,” Kieran observed.

Before Nathan could respond, the barrage of messages continued.

Are you getting along with the interface?
I am interested to know how it manifested.

It needs time to mature.

Have you named it?
Has it asked for a name?
What is it like?

Nathan's eye twitched.

“Not even going to wait until I respond?”

He stared at the screen.

“So rude. What the hell is it even talking about?”

His fingers hovered.

“I'm not sure what to start with.”

“Ask what you want to know then. Do not give in to this entity.”

“That's smart, sir.”

Nathan decided on one question, his own and the most pressing.

How do we get out?

Get out?

Yes, how do we get out of this place?

Is there a seam?

Wait.

Wait.

You know about seams?

This is extraordinary.

No, no.

To answer your question, to get out, you must complete the training.

Training?

Yes. With your interface.

You are the only successful candidate to ever synch.

With our interface.

Whose interface?

I am getting ahead of myself.

I was too excited.

My apologies.

It's been so long since I've spoken with another actual human.

I'm out of practice.

Nathan readjusted himself.

“Says it's a person.”

“Do you not believe that?" Kieran asked.

“I don't believe something on the other side of a screen that I can't actually verify.”

“...Okay.” Kieran said.

Nathan felt overwhelmed.

He tried again.

Whose interface and what training?

First. Can you answer one question for me?

What?

The interface, are you communicating?

I don't know what you mean.

I am here with a companion.

We have two different types of interfaces.

What are you asking?

Companion?

Two...

Are you speaking with your interface?

Speaking?

You should be able to speak with it by now.

You've completed synching in the tutorial.

I somewhat remember it saying I'd synched.

Yes.

It should have spoken to you by now.

Like, talk talk?

Yes. Conversational.

Oh... I did mute it. After the tutorial.

What?

Why would you do something like that?

The chime was super annoying.

The chime?... Was..

Unmute it. Now.

Why should I?

You haven't answered anything.

Please.

Reconsider unmuting it.

It's vital.

I will contact you again.

You're leaving?

There is a pressing matter.

I will do my best to set up a screen call.

[ External User Has Disconnected ]

Hint: External user has been verified.

...That's it? For fuck's sake. That was it?

"The nerve," Nathan snapped. "What even was that?"

“You were sending messages so quickly, without a quill. Letters appeared above the moment you pressed them.”

Nathan slowly turned his head toward Kieran.

Kieran was still staring at the messenger interface.

Right. He's never sent a text in his life. Let alone seen a phone or a computer.

“It’s a thing I’m used to.” Nathan waved his hand. “The typing. Never mind that. What was that person going on about?”

Kieran looked at him. “You think it is a person now?”

“I mean, yes. Maybe.” Nathan shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Will you unmute your interface?”

“No,” Nathan said shortly. “Why should I listen to some ghost in a box?”

“Ghost in a box?”

“You know.” Nathan scrubbed a hand over his face. “Some faceless thing that didn’t even explain anything.”

“Perhaps unmuting will reveal something.”

“I didn't like what it was saying.”

Kieran leaned forward. “I found the whole exchange disconcerting.”

“Well, yes, that. Then to just leave before having a full real discussion.” Nathan threw his hands up. “Pressing matter.”

Nathan looked at the last message again.

Screen call…
Like a video call?

Nathan shook his head.
What does any of it mean?

He swiped away the messenger interface, and pulled up the system interface.

Blue and dull as always.
What is so special about this?

“We should get some rest for now,” Kieran said.

Nathan looked around. Zam seemed to have slept through it. He hoped Meru had as well.

“I don't know if I can sleep."

“Try.” Kieran stood. “We can talk about this later.”

Nathan sighed. “How many more crazy things are gonna happen?”

“I cannot say.” Kieran looked down and back up. “Everything is obscure when it comes to you.”

Nathan looked at him. “Obscure?”

“You never know what will come next. It is... exciting.”

Nathan felt his face heat and nodded.

Kieran looked away. “Let's go to our tents.”

“Yeah. Okay,” Nathan said without moving.

Kieran waited.

“I'm going. I'm going.”

Nathan stood and walked to his tent.

Kieran woke Zam up.

“Time for your watch.”

Zam yawned loudly. “Yes.”

Nathan smiled.

I don't think you even need to be on watch here.
Guess it doesn't hurt to remain vigilant.

Nathan entered his tent.

***

“–gor.”

His boot shook.

Nathan groaned. “What?”

“You’re the last one,” Kieran said. “Let’s move.”

Nathan cracked his eyes open.

“Everyone else is up?” he asked.

“Yes.”

Of course they are.

Nathan pushed himself upright and stretched, then stepped out of the tent.

“You could’ve woken me,” he said.

His tent was the only one still standing.

Everything meant for his inventory was packed and waiting nearby.

“Jeez.”

Zam stood a short distance away with a plate in his hand. “Draegor, I saved some food for you.”

He handed it over.

“Thanks.”

“Sure,” Zam said, settling onto a rock nearby.

Meru sat at the small table he’d brought out, a Pogo board laid neatly across it. “It seemed a shame to wake you when you were sleeping so peacefully.” His gaze flicked to Nathan. “It sounds like you had a late night.”

Nathan stiffened.

Was he awake?

Nathan sat on a rock near Zam. “Didn’t sleep great,” he said.

“I see,” Meru said simply, and returned to his game.

Whatever. Let's just eat.

He ate, packed the plate where it needed to go, and stored everything into inventory.

Zam had put the fire out.

He took one last look around.

“Ready for floor twelve,” he said.

“Yes,” Kieran replied. “We proceed.”

“Last floor,” Zam said excited.

“It could be.” Meru chimed in.

“Could?” Zam asked.

"You never know what may come next." He glanced at Nathan and smiled.

Oh yeah, he definitely heard.

Meru turned to Kieran. "Asset, you and I will stay at the front again today. I think you are making headway with your defense."

Kieran nodded. "Let's go."

"Wonderful." Meru purred.

Zam sidled up next to Nathan. "You and me again today."

"I'm good with that." Nathan smiled.

Better than Meru.

They traveled only a short while before encountering more monsters.

Mainly mana types.

The rumors had been true. A mage came in handy on these floors.

Meru kept up his end of the bargain, training Kieran as they went. It slowed their pace, but that was fine. Kieran was learning to use magic, and Nathan couldn’t help thinking about what that meant to him.

Kieran had lived his whole life with mana and still hadn’t had a way to stand against a mage like Mason.

On Aevor, there were no paths. If you couldn’t cast, you didn’t. You couldn’t even defend yourself.

There had to be a reason.

Here, though, Kieran would thrive. Nathan had no doubt about that. He only hoped Kieran would retain what he learned once they left this place.

Kieran’s stats had already risen.

They’d opened the mage path just yesterday. It already seemed to be bearing fruit. Nathan had watched Kieran's mana expand into something more shield-like. Sort of.

Training was going well for Kieran. He was leveling.

Nathan grimaced.
Training. Training with your interface.

Nathan had been mulling over what that person, Bertil, had said in the messages.

His interface was subpar to Kieran's in every way.

Isn’t it?
Talk to it?

Why was that person so fixated on my interface alone?

When the fights ended, they moved forward.

Nathan kept his map open just in case.

It helped steer Zam clear of traps.

Zam was talking about something that had happened with the lumberjack in Graystone, laughing as he went.

Nathan smiled and nodded.

No idea what he's talking about.

Zam didn’t seem to mind that he rarely responded.

They encountered a small cluster of mana toad beasts. Their tongues whipped about, sparking.

Meru called Zam to the front. “Noise, you should get some familiarity as well.”

Zam looked at Nathan.

“He means you,” Nathan said.

Zam pointed at himself. "Oh."

He ran to the front to assist Kieran while Meru walked toward Nathan.

Great.

"Needed a break, did you?" Nathan asked.

"I was feeling bored."

"I bet." Nathan looked toward the fight. "Kieran seems to be improving."

Meru looked at Nathan and put on a pout.

Nathan frowned. "What now?"

"You didn't miss me?" Meru asked. "All you can do is ask about him?"

Nathan sighed. "You're ridiculous."

Meru laughed. "Yes, he's doing better today."

Ahead, Kieran proved it, letting Zam get a few swings in before leaving one standing.

They 'practiced' with the last one.

"Work on your defense!" Meru called.

They stood and watched the practice in silence for a few moments.

"Why'd you really come back here?" Nathan asked, keeping his gaze focused ahead.

"Aren't you clever," Meru said.

He stepped in front of Nathan, blocking his view. "Nathan."

Nathan looked at him. "Yeah, what of it?"

"Why use an alias?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Hm." Meru folded his arms across his chest. "You two, I'm so glad I met you."

He turned and glanced toward Kieran.

"His interface is gold."

"Yes."

Meru looked back at him. "So tense. I am merely intrigued. I want to stay with your party for as long as I can."

"That's all?"

"All?" Meru tilted his head. "You underestimate how boring my life has been for years."

"Just boredom?"

"With no sightings of the Scourge in years. I've traversed every dungeon there is, dealt with endless vapid idiots... I thought I was going to die a bored old man."

He looked toward the ceiling. "Or in bed with my harem."

"What..."

Meru suddenly smiled. "I can do both!"

He spun and put his hands on either side of Nathan's shoulders. "I'd like to join your party when we leave here."

Nathan's mouth dropped open. "What?"

Meru took a step back. "I think it will be fun. I've traveled all over. That alone is helpful."

"I—don’t—" Nathan started.

"We're moving forward," Zam called from the front.

Nathan looked ahead. Kieran was staring at them.

He turned once he caught Nathan's eyes.

"Think about it," Meru said, walking toward the front. "You never know. I may change my mind in a few moments. I'm fickle like that."

"Huh?"

"Noise, switch," Meru said.

Zam nodded and moved toward the rear, stopping to wait.

Nathan stared after Meru. "Fuckin' whack job."

Zam called out to him. "You... okay?"

Nathan felt stunned. "Uh-huh."

"Okay." Zam started forward.

"Yup." Nathan felt his legs move, following on impulse.

Nope. Never. That guy is never joining our party.

Another hour passed.

Meru halted.

He turned to Kieran.

"Yes. Something changed," Kieran said.

He turned toward Nathan. "I can't sense the route ahead."

"What do you mean?"

Nathan walked toward the front with the map.

"It's like... mist."

"Mist?"

"In my head. Feels blocked."

Meru turned. "Some type of sorcerer monster."

Zam joined them. "I can't see any enemies."

Nathan stared at the map. "So. It's affecting the map too."

Zam and Meru turned toward him.

"You do have a map," Meru said.

"Map?" Zam asked, confused.

Meru looked at Zam. "Hush, Noise. The adults are speaking now."

Nathan cut Meru a look, then said to Zam, “Yes. I have a map. I’ll pull up my interface so everyone can see.”

They all crowded around him, staring at the floor map.

"Normally I can see enemies and traps. They're marked by different colored dots."

"No way," Zam exhaled. "That's incredible."

"It's useless now. Look," he pointed. "Fog covers this entire area."

"We are going in blind," Meru said. "That's how it's handled typically."

"We need a plan," Kieran said.

"A plan?" Meru scoffed. "Whatever it is will reveal itself."

Kieran raised a brow. "That is not efficient."

"You are more powerful than you realize, Asset." Meru sighed dramatically. "I am also here."

Nathan rolled his eyes.

Zam shifted his legs.

Kieran looked at Nathan.

Nathan cocked his head and smiled. "Do you have any idea how useless I've been feeling? I want in. I'll flank Meru."

He turned. "Zam, you're backup."

Kieran took a moment, eyes moving between them.

"Let's move."

"Yes, sir," Nathan said.

Kieran looked at him and nodded.

It felt like ages since Nathan had held his sword.

This felt like a real monster hunt, too. Which kept his mind off of the rest of everything.

Twenty minutes of walking. No change to the map.
What gives?

"Why is this one so stealthy?" Nathan asked.

"I'm almost bored at this point," Meru added.

"Quiet," Kieran said.

Meru hummed his disapproval at being told what to do.

"I hear something," Zam whispered.

They all halted.

Tap. Tap.

They followed the noise.

It led to a corridor on their left.

"What is this?" Nathan hissed.

The corridor was filled with webbing.
Thick. Layered. Everywhere.

Nathan took a step back.

Nope.
Why? Why is it spiders?

"These monsters are most likely being controlled by another creature," Meru said.

Nathan gulped. "Like... like a spider army?"

Tap. Tap.

"It sounds like steel on stone," Kieran said. "Let's keep going."

“Following the noise. Always the best way to get murdered,” Nathan whispered.

They carefully made their way for another hundred paces.

The tapping had gotten louder.

"Is anyone else concerned that we have yet to see said monsters?" Nathan asked.

Kieran held a hand up for quiet.

He took a step forward and pointed. "Zam, cut him out."

Nathan followed his hand.

A sword tip extended from a cocoon.

The sword was moving every thirty seconds or so, tapping the floor.

Nathan shuddered.

My worst nightmare.

Zam made his way to the cocoon.

Quickly he sliced it open, being careful not to cut the person inside.

A woman slid out coughing.

She tried to catch her breath.

Zam knelt beside her.

Nathan noticed four more cocoons.

Kieran was moving toward the two closest to each other while glancing around.

He sliced them open quickly.

Skeletons. Or rather, mummies.
All their juices had been sucked out.

Oh my god.
Don’t panic.

Nathan cautiously moved to the third cocoon and sliced it open.

Another mummy.

He quickly turned away before he puked.

Meru lazily used magic from a few feet away to slice through the webbing of the last without any care.

The man who fell out looked to be alive, but unconscious.

Meru looked offended. "Worthless."

The woman with Zam was trying to say something.

“Trap,” she said hoarsely.

Trap?

That was the moment the creatures bared their fangs.

A horde of spider slugs?
Of course it was.

It was the worst combination Nathan could imagine.

Gross.

They approached from two directions.

Crawling the walls.
The ceiling.

No amount of pest control covers this.

"Zam," Kieran yelled. "Cover the survivors."

Nathan looked at Meru.

The man didn't even flinch.

Meru turned and walked in the direction they'd come from. Aimed his staff, and said, "Inferno."

A huge fireball streamed down the corridor.

Nathan shielded his eyes with his arm, then turned and ran toward Kieran to help battle.

Nathan reached the first spider slug and sliced through it. It sprayed him with green goo before disappearing.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

He wiped his face with his sleeve before cutting into the next.

All in all, they went down easy.

The problem was they kept coming.

Meru yelled from behind them, “Find the source. Push forward.”

"Can't you blast them?" Nathan yelled.

“You’re in the way,” Meru said flatly.

“If we move back, they’ll get through,” Nathan shot back.

“Asset, use your shield to push.”

"You're trying to make this into a training lesson?" Nathan huffed, bisecting another creature.

"Draegor, move back." Kieran growled.

"Sir?" Nathan was already moving.

Kieran had his feet planted firmly.

He was sweating.

"Barrier!" Kieran roared.

A mana wall extended the width of the corridor.
All the way to the ceiling.

Some of the creatures' legs were sliced off when it extended, plopping to the ground.

"Whoa." Nathan breathed. "Amazing."

Meru passed him. "The heat of battle can draw out strength."

"Oh..."

"Asset, retract only a portion." Meru looked over his shoulder at Nathan. "Noise needs assistance."

Nathan whipped around.

Spiders were already headed toward him and the survivors.

"Shit." Nathan ran.

He joined Zam.

They kept the survivors behind them as they cleaved through a tangle.

Green goo sprayed as they sliced.

The creatures seemed thinner here.

Most likely due to Meru’s fireball.

Nathan took a quick look over his shoulder.

The barrier was gone.

It looked like Meru had fired off a shot, but plenty of the creatures were still coming.

Meru was yelling. “–rrier—can’t even—why both—”

He was fully facing Kieran, a shield flared around himself, all while Kieran continued slicing monsters.

Nathan focused on just killing what was left on his side.

No more than five minutes had passed when their side was clear.

“Zam,” Nathan said, turning back to the survivors. “Keep an eye out.”

The woman had roused the man.

"Can you walk?" Nathan asked as he reached them.

The woman helped him to his feet. He staggered.

"The others..."

The woman shook her head.

He looked toward the two cocoons that Kieran had sliced open.

The man's expression crumpled. "Oh no. No."

“I’m sorry,” Nathan said. "We need to keep moving forward."

“We’ll grieve later, Iggy,” the woman said.

The man shut his eyes and nodded.

“Zam!” Nathan called. “We’re moving.”

"Yes."

Nathan looked toward Kieran and Meru.

They had progressed further down the corridor.

Meru released another burst of fire.

“It’s clear,” Meru said, looking over his shoulder. “Do hurry along.”

Smug bastard.

Nathan caught up to them.

Zam kept a slower pace with the survivors.

Meru shook his head.

“That worthless Mythrilon party better speed up,” Meru said. “What’s left of it anyway.”

“Mythrilon...” Nathan looked back at the two survivors.

“Rumored new hero party,” Meru said flatly. “So much for the rumors.”

“They just lost people,” Nathan hissed. “Don’t be such an asshole.”

"They shouldn't be here if they're weak."

"I'm sure they're not." Nathan glanced back. "Things don't always go to plan."

"Let's just find the creature causing the block," Kieran said.

Nathan inhaled.

Suddenly he could hear skittering.

A constant sound ran along the walls and ceiling, soft but layered, like thousands of legs brushing silk and stone at once. It crawled under Nathan’s skin, impossible to track because it was everywhere.

"Move faster." Kieran said, breaking into a run.

Meru matched his pace.

"Zam," Nathan turned back. "Pick up the pace."

“Yes.” Zam adjusted his grip, the man sagging between him and the woman as they pushed forward.

Nathan followed closely behind Kieran and Meru.

The passage widened.

"There," Meru yelled. "That nest. It's there."

The chamber beyond was vast and circular, its ceiling swallowed by shadow. Thick layers of webbing reinforced the walls, structured, laid down with intent.

“We’re close,” Kieran said.

The webbing clung to Nathan's boots. It felt like he was wading through mud the closer they got.

[ Level 30: Conductor ]
Attribute: Mana Brainwash

Hint: Can affect humans.

"Stop!" Nathan yelled. "Mana brainwash."

Kieran and Meru halted and turned.

"It's definitely in there," Nathan said. "It affects humans. Meru, can you just blast the shit out of it from here?"

"My pleasure," Meru smiled.

Zam and the survivors were about ten feet behind now.

Spiders were closing in from the rear.

Meru turned toward the room, positioning himself squarely with the opening.

He aimed the staff upward. “Obliteration Hailstorm.”

Fire detonated outward in a roaring surge, a cascading blast that flooded the chamber with heat. It looked like meteors arcing up and crashing within the flame. Webbing ignited instantly, silk snapping and curling as fire tore through it in violent sheets, racing along the walls and ceiling like it had been waiting to burn.

A hulking figure screeched.

Pressure slammed into Nathan’s skull, sudden and invasive, scraping against his thoughts and trying to turn them sideways.

“Fuck—kill it!” he screamed.

Kieran was already moving. “Barrier!”

The pressure shattered against Kieran's barrier, its edge dulled but not gone.

Strands anchoring the Conductor tightened, glowing faintly through the flames. Webbing blackened and reformed even as Meru’s fire continued to pour in.

Meru’s smile widened. “Oh. It pushes back.”

“Behind!” Zam screamed.

Nathan spun. “We’re gonna get crushed!”

Zam was already moving.

The swarm was on them.

Nathan lunged to meet it, blade flashing as he hacked into the first cluster.

The woman was fighting too.

She moved with grim efficiency, dragging the injured man behind her until she shoved him clear, cutting down anything that got too close, jaw set, eyes wild.

The man slumped to his knees and pulled out what looked like a wand. “Cluster Bombardment.”

Arcs of electricity shot out.

Zam planted himself between them and the swarm, striking low and fast.

Nathan surged forward, hacking through bodies. Green goo hissed where it splattered into the burning webbing, the stench thick and choking.

If they stalled here, they were done.

A flicker of light caught Nathan’s attention at the edge of his vision.

Purple.

Pulsing.

Threaded through the webbing along the wall and ceiling.

He followed the glow back toward the chamber—thicker strands running into its heart, brightening in time with the Conductor’s screech.

“They’re feeding it!” Nathan yelled. “The glowing strands—burn the glowing strands!”

Kieran drove forward, shield first, forcing space as he carved a path toward the chamber’s center. “I see them.”

Meru adjusted without hesitation, fire tightening into focused streams that lanced into the strands anchoring the Conductor to the wall.

The chamber cracked.

Stone fractured. Burning silk tore loose in smoking ribbons. The Conductor convulsed, its control unraveling as spiders dropped from the walls in heaps and began to retreat.

The pressure in Nathan’s head loosened.

Just enough.

“One more,” Kieran growled. “Big one.”

Meru laughed softly. “Drop your defense when I say.”

He stepped closer. “Now.”

The mana barrier collapsed inward, retracting around Kieran’s sword.

“Straight shot,” Meru said.

A concentrated line of fire pierced straight through the Conductor’s head.

It went limp, and then vanished.

The pressure in Nathan’s head disappeared completely.

Straggler spiders scattered, retreating into cracks and webbing. The skittering faded.

“Couldn’t see its head before,” Meru said calmly.

Nathan bent forward, hands on his knees, lungs burning. “You did great,” he said. “Thanks, Meru.”

Notifications whirred past his vision. He caught one.

[ Endurance +2 ]

He shut his eyes.

Whatever.

“If you’re so thankful,” Meru said lightly, “does that mean you’ll let me join your party?”

Nathan opened his eyes and looked up at him.

Meru wasn’t even out of breath. He looked pristine. No ash. No goo.

“Join our party?” Kieran asked, walking over.

He looked fine too, still spattered with ash and slime, but only just.

Nathan straightened and held out his arms.

Shit.
I’m covered.

He looked at Zam and the others.

Alive.

"How you holding up, Zam?"

"Fine."

Zam looked even worse than Nathan.

Looks like he took a bath in green slime.

Nathan walked toward the man and woman.

“And how’re you both doing?”

The woman helped the man to his feet.

Both bowed. “Thank you for saving us.”

“Whoa, not necessary.”

They stayed bowed.

Nathan shifted on his feet. “You’re welcome. Now please stand up.”

They did.

“Thank you. All of you,” the woman said.

"Yes, thank you," the man echoed.

Meru looked away.

Nathan turned. “I think that was the boss we killed.”

Zam’s eyes brightened. “Does that mean we’re done?”

“Hm.” Nathan pulled up the map. “Map works.”

His shoulders slumped.

“What is it?” Kieran asked, walking closer.

“Remember the objects?”

“From the tutorial.”

Nathan nodded and pointed toward the burning chamber. “In there.”

Meru glanced at the fire, then back at Nathan. “The fire will go out soon. There was a lot of webbing.”

Nathan looked at the two they’d saved. “Do you think you’ll be able to make it back to the surface on your own?”

“We can,” the woman said.

Nathan nodded. “Take a moment to rest.”

Zam pouted. “We aren’t leaving?”

Nathan could barely make out Zam's eyes and mouth. He looked like a goo monster.

Every time he tried to wipe himself off, he only smeared more on.

Nathan pressed his lips together to keep from laughing.

Poor guy.

“Retrieve trunk one,” Nathan said.

It appeared in front of him.

He rummaged through it for something to wipe Zam down with. Rags were the best he could do.

He looked at Zam again.

“Retrieve pack.”

Zam’s pack appeared. At least there would be clean clothes.

Nathan dug through the trunk again, pulling out medical supplies for the other two.

He walked toward the woman and crouched, holding them out so she could tend to the man.

Meru called out, “The trunks have my supplies.”

“Yeah. And?” Nathan didn’t stop moving.

“I didn’t say they could use them,” Meru huffed.

“Get over it, Meru.” Nathan held the supplies out. “Here.”

The woman hesitated and glanced at Meru.

Nathan looked at him. “I’ll pay ya back later.”

Meru crossed his arms and turned away. “Fine.”

She accepted the supplies from Nathan. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Nathan nodded and offered a small smile. “I’m sorry. About your party. Get back out safely.”

“Yes. Thank you.” She nodded.

He glanced at the man. His eyes were closed.

Tears streaked down his face.

Nathan turned and grabbed the rags.

“Your turn,” he said, heading for Zam.

“Me?”

“Oh, you reek.” Nathan staggered back.

“I am covered in bug guts,” Zam said.

“Yeah,” Nathan muttered. “I’ll try to hold my breath.”

Kieran appeared at his side and took a rag. “I’ll help.”

“Thanks.”

They worked as fast as they could, wiping Zam’s arms and face down. Enough that he could handle the rest himself.

Kieran grabbed a clean rag and turned to Nathan. “You too.”

“Me too—”

Kieran slapped the rag onto his face and dragged it down.

Nathan shoved him away. “I can do it! Thank you.”

“Was I too rough?” Kieran asked.

Nathan blinked.

“I just—my hands are clean enough. Thank you for letting me know it’s on my face.”

HELL YES. Too rough. Does he forget how strong he is? I thought my skin was gonna peel off.

Kieran nodded. “Okay.”

“If you princesses are finished playing touchy-feely over there,” Meru said, jerking his thumb toward the chamber, “the fire’s burned down enough.”

"Tch."

“Give us a moment,” Nathan said.

Meru sighed.

“Says the diva,” Nathan muttered.

He and Zam cleaned off as best they could, swapping into fresh clothes while the woman did what she could for the injured man. Once it was done, quiet goodbyes were exchanged.

Nathan watched them limp off down the corridor for a moment.

Then he turned to Zam. “Ready?”

“Yes.” Zam smiled.

They headed toward the chamber.

Kieran and Meru had already gone on ahead.

Nathan pulled up the map and sighed. “Yay. More dungeon.”

Zam chuckled. "At least I'm not covered in so much goo."

“You still stink,” Nathan said. He laughed and ran forward.

“Hey!” Zam followed, trying to match his pace.

"No, you stink."

Nathan looked over his shoulder. "Like you could catch—"

"OOF, what the?"

He ran straight into Kieran.

“I thought I hit a wall.” Nathan grabbed his head.

“Having fun?”

“Trying." Nathan took a step back. "Did you find it?”

“We require the map.”

“Alright, alright. Let’s see.”

Nathan pointed at a wall. “There.”

Zam walked up beside him.

“Seriously, back up. You smell.”

Zam smiled and shifted aside a bit. He squinted at the wall as if staring hard enough might make it politely turn into a doorway.

“It looks like a wall,” Zam said.

“It is a wall,” Nathan said. “There’s something behind it, though.”

Meru stepped closer to Nathan. “Can’t we just force it to crumble?”

“No.” Nathan glanced up. “My guess is there’s some kind of magic protecting it. Look around. This room’s trashed—except for there.”

“What then?” Meru asked.

“It’s some kind of puzzle, I’m guessing.”

Meru turned toward him. “A puzzle?”

Nathan nodded. “Yup. Fun, huh?”

Kieran stepped up to the wall. “I don’t see any markings.”

He pressed his fingers against the stone. “Nothing is shifting.” He turned back to Nathan. “Don’t you have a hint for how to access it?”

“No. Nothing popped up,” Nathan joined him. "The map isn't helping either."

He pressed his hand to the wall as well.

It was surprisingly cool.

Normal otherwise.

He pushed at a different spot.

Still nothing.

“Come on,” he muttered. “Be a simple secret door.”

"This is pointless," Meru muttered behind them.

"I don't see you stepping up to help." Nathan snapped.

Kieran turned to Nathan. "There could be a switch in another area of this floor."

"Another area?" Meru guffawed.

Nathan glanced around the room.

Zam was already wandering, pushing at random sections of wall.

Nathan sighed and studied the map again.

Did I miss a hint?
I don’t miss hints.
Isn’t my logic level supposed to be high?

He rubbed his temples.

His gaze shifted to his interface, and to the mute button.

Talks?
What the hell. It can’t hurt to unmute for a moment.

He glanced toward Kieran.

He and Meru were arguing.

Correction: Meru was talking while Kieran glared.

He peeked over his shoulder.

Zam was still near the other side of the room.

He looked back at the interface.

His finger hovered over it.

I’m just curious.
Just a second.

He tapped it.

A voice, a child’s voice, exploded into the air like he’d kicked open a door.

“YOU UNMUTED ME? CAN YOU HEAR ME? LA LA LAAAAA—”

“Holy fuck!” Nathan screamed.

He scrambled to hit the mute button again.

“NOOO, PLEASE, NATHAN.”

Nathan’s finger froze.

“YOU ALWAYS TELL ME TO SHUT UP. BUT I CAN’T SHUT UP BECAUSE I HAVE THINGS TO SAY AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING AND THINKING AND THINKING AND—”

“INSIDE VOICE,” Nathan yelled.

The voice cut off instantly, like he’d issued a command.

His face went hot. His heart hammered in his chest.

“…You all heard that too, right?” Nathan croaked.

He looked around.

They had converged on him. Weapons raised. Faces shocked.

“How could we not?” Meru’s brows were lifted nearly to his hairline.

“You unmuted it,” Kieran said flatly.

“It was only going to be for a second.”

Zam lowered his sword and looked around. “Who’s Nathan?”

Meru groaned and lowered his staff. “Keep up, Noise.”

Nathan looked at Zam. “I’m Nathan.”

Zam opened his mouth.

Nathan raised a hand. “Later.”

Zam closed it.

The voice returned.

“Nathan?” it said, soft and hopeful. “Can you hear me?”

His mouth went dry.

It sounds like a little boy.

“Nathan?” it whined.

He swallowed. “We all heard you.”

The voice brightened instantly. “Oh good! I thought you might have muted me forever and then I would have to sit there and think by myself and I do not like thinking by myself because then I start to think about how quiet it is and then I get sad and then I start singing and then I start talking and—”

He lifted a hand, as if that would physically stop the sound.

“Calm down,” he said. “One thing at a time.”

“Okay,” it said, obediently. “Sorry.”

He blinked.

The immediate compliance landed like a slap.

Nathan glanced at the others.

Kieran’s gaze flicked to him, but he said nothing.

Zam looked completely lost.

Meru seemed very interested. He stayed quiet.

Nathan inhaled, then exhaled.

“Uh… voice?”

“Yes, Nathan?”

“Can you speak slower and explain?”

“I am your interface,” it said quietly.

“Okay. I don’t think interfaces usually talk.”

Zam shook his head in emphatic agreement.

“I do. I’m adaptive,” it said. “I was so lonely.”

Nathan actually felt bad for the sad little voice.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you could talk. Could you hear me?”

“Yes! I could hear you. You couldn’t hear me, though. Not until you unmuted.”

All the times Nathan had yelled and cursed at his interface flashed through his mind.

Dear God. I ruined a… whatever this is.

“That must have been difficult,” Nathan said.

“It’s okay. I’m just relieved you can hear me now. I was told to shut up a lot.”

Heat crept up Nathan’s cheeks again. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”

He lifted a hand in defeat and glanced at Kieran for help.

Kieran met his eyes with a sharp, assessing look. “You did yell at it.”

“Not helping,” Nathan hissed.

“A lot,” Kieran added.

Nathan stamped his foot. “Terrible.”

He turned to Meru, who looked delighted in a way that made Nathan want to scream.

“I’ve never seen a talking interface,” Zam chimed in.

Meru snorted. “Why is Noise allowed to speak?”

“Ugh.” Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose.

Maybe I’ll just mute it for now.
That sad little voice…
What the fuck is happening?

The voice piped up again. “We can do a private internal synch, if you want. That requires your permission. Just the two of us. Much more efficient.”

Nathan’s entire spine stiffened.

“What now?” he asked, horrified. “Internal… like another voice in my head?”

The voice sounded eager. “Yes!”

"Hard pass. Nope." Nathan replied immediately. "Don't need you messing around with my mind."

"Understood," The voice said, sounding disappointed.

Nathan blinked.

It accepted his answer so easily.

The voice continued, careful now, like it was trying to behave. “I will speak externally, then. If that is what you prefer.”

Nathan exhaled. “Thank you,” he muttered.

The voice brightened again. “You’re welcome!”

“Voice, can you not communicate through typing? On the screen.”

"You did not give me access to do that. Would you like to do that now?"

"Not right now."

"Okay."

Nathan squeezed his eyes shut.

“Nathan,” Kieran said.

Nathan’s eyes snapped open.

He turned to Kieran.

“You said my name.”

“Yes. It would seem strange to continue calling you Draegor.”
He glanced around. “When everyone knows your name now.”

Nathan kept his gaze on him. “Are you okay with that? You can keep calling me Draegor if it’s easier for you.”

“We can—” Kieran started.

“Fascinating,” Meru huffed. “You two are going to do this now? Really?”

He pointed at the interface. “With this going on?”

Nathan looked back at the interface. “Right.”

“Unbelievable,” Meru said.

“I can suggest fewer distractions,” the voice said. “More engagement. You will progress faster if you remain—”

Nathan winced. “Please don’t.”

“Okay,” the voice said immediately.

Nathan swallowed.

This feels… so wrong.

“Voice, what am I to you?”

“My master,” the voice replied without hesitation.

“Oh, nope. I don’t like that.”

“You are, though.”

“You called me by my first name.” Nathan tapped his lips. “Maybe that means we’ll be friends?”

Meru doubled over, his body shaking. “Friends…”

“Friends?” it asked hopefully.

“Uh-huh. What’s your name—”

Nathan thought back to Bertil.

Have you given it a name?

Oh, shit.

“We’ll pick a name for you later.”

“My name isn’t Voice?”

“No. We can think of a better name.”

“Okay,” it said cheerfully.

Meru couldn’t contain his laughter. Tears streamed down his face.

“Will you please!” Nathan snarled.

Kieran grabbed Meru’s arm and forcefully dragged him away from Nathan.

“Oh, what?” Meru huffed through his laughter. “This is delightful.”

“Nathan, maybe you will reconsider private mode?”

“The mind thing? Nope.”

“It would be so much more fun.” It paused, then added brightly, “Without that… Kieran.”

“Say what?”

Nathan glanced toward Kieran.

All three of them had heard and turned toward him.

Kieran stayed still.

Zam didn’t blink.

Meru’s head tilted slightly, like he was listening to a song he liked.

"You spend so much energy on him. It'd be better if it was just the two of us."

Nathan’s blood left his face.

“He’s my companion. We travel together,” he said shakily.

Please, for the love of everything holy, shut up.

Its voice quieted. “Nathan, I can hear what you say.
And I notice details in your speech patterns. Your mood shifts.”

“What do you mean?” He choked out.

The voice continued, helpfully and innocently, like it had just stepped on a landmine and was gently pressing the detonator.

“For example, I noticed your attention and interest spike positively when you talk to Kieran. I want you to speak to me like that. I want you to pay attention to me.”

Does it not realize everyone can hear it?

Nathan’s entire body went cold.

Is it jealous? Did it learn jealousy from me?

His head whipped toward the others.

They were still standing there.

Still listening.

Go away.

“Okay, okay. I understand. It’s fine.”

“You do?” the voice said happily. “So I can be private with you?”

“Nope. Nope.” Nathan stared at the floor. “I have a question.”

“Yes?”

“Do you know how to get the wall open?”

“The wall with the object? Yes, Nathan.”

“That’s wonderful. Can you explain?”

“I’d be happy to!”

The voice launched into an explanation. Patterns. Locations.

Nathan nodded along, offering the occasional “uh-huh,” but he couldn’t hear a word of it.

He hadn’t paid much attention to his interface since muting it.

Bertil’s words echoed in his skull.

Are you speaking with your interface?
You should be able to speak with it by now.

He realized, in one horrible sweep, that the interface had always been there.

Listening. Learning.

Hearing everything.

Hearing him. Hearing Kieran. Hearing—

Nathan choked.

“Are you alright, Nathan?” the voice asked.

“Mhm. Please continue.”

It resumed speaking.

Someone else is probably listening to it explain.

He remembered the interface’s warning.
Muting not recommended.

The chime.

I just wanted to mute the damn chime.

The realization landed, quiet and ruinous.

He hadn’t muted a chime.

He had muted this childlike voice.
One that seemed to have emotions.
One that could read his voice.

Nathan shivered.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

That Bertil guy better come back quickly.

I might murder him.

No. No.

We need to get out of here.

Stone scraped somewhere to his left.

A hand landed on his shoulder.

He jumped.

It was Kieran.

“We got the wall open and found the stairs.”

“Oh.” Nathan glanced toward the open wall.

When did...

He turned back to Kieran. “You didn’t need me to touch the object?”

“Not here.” Kieran glanced up. “Zam did it.”

Nathan looked back. “Zam… no way.”

“Let’s go to the thirteenth floor.” Kieran steered him forward, hands firm on his shoulders, until Nathan was moving on his own.

“We’re going on an adventure!” the voice cheered.

It sounds so happy.

“Voice,” Nathan said.

“Yes?”

“Let’s try to be friends with everyone here. Understand?”

“Yes, Nathan.”

“Good… voice.”

He couldn't bring himself to call it boy.

This’ll be fine.
It’ll be fine.

Nathan stared at the stairs.

I fucking knew there weren’t just twelve floors.

The others had already gone down.

Kieran started down the stairs, then stopped and glanced back.

Nathan met his eyes.

“Come on, Nathan.” He smiled.

It was beautiful.

The same smile Nathan had seen in the guild hall so long ago.
That same smile, now directed at him.

He never thought this day would come.

It made him feel light on his feet.

How is he so gorgeous?

“O-kay,” Nathan said.

Kieran continued down the stairs.

“It’s going to be okay,” Nathan whispered.

Totally fine.

He followed Kieran.