Heartbeat Sound

Kimberly nervously chewed on bites of her sandwich that were much too small. She kept glancing over at Robert as he ate. Sometimes he glanced back and smiled. She didn’t avert her gaze. She enjoyed losing herself in his eyes. And that joy weighed heavier than her skittish thoughts.

She didn't even notice the moment when Robert finished eating and just kept staring at her.

“Hey.”

“Hmm?”

“Can I have more?”

Reality overwhelmed Kim.

“Oh.”

With one hand, she grabbed the third sandwich from the bag and held it out to him. He took it, and his index finger brushed her hand. Kim noticed how big his hands were. So much bigger than hers.

“You seem a bit lost in thought today. I feel bad when making sandwiches takes such a toll on you. Your schedule is probably already completely full. Sorry, I didn't even think about that.”

“No, I was happy to do it! I don't know…”

“Then please eat properly. You're already thin enough.”

Kimberly had regained her composure.

“Thin enough, huh? So, I meet your requirements? You don't even want to ask my exact weight? Someone like you should know what you're getting yourself into.”

“I'll bring a tape measure tomorrow, then we can check your waist width, okay?”

Kim laughed and took a big bite out of her sandwich at last.

“That’s better.”

She rolled her eyes.

“What? I can be very caring. Or annoying. Depends on the definition.”

The smile on her face would probably only wear off when the next class began.

“About Saturday.”

She tilted her head and looked at him questioningly, still chewing on her lunch.

“It's supposed to be quite warm. Any plans for the next day, or can we stay out late? Assuming that you stay awake.”

She swallowed and gave him a playful scowl.

“I'm yours all night long.”

He leaned in.

“You may tease me, but that could backfire.”

“Is that so?” Kim giggled.

Robert retreated.

“How's work going? Must be a lot for you.”

“That wasn’t very smooth. But yes, it is.”

“I didn't want to buy a magazine and read about you, so this question might be silly, but what are you up to right now? Recording? Are you going on tour?”

“Recording, yes. There will be a concert soon. Next week on Friday. But I won't go on tour before graduation. It's better that way. Things will really get going in the summer.”

“And when we go out, that's no problem?”

“Not for me.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, I already had a meeting on the subject.”

“In general?”

“No.”

“About us?”

“Yes, someone took photos in the restaurant.”

“Fuck.”

“It's not that big of a deal. I’m not on a tight leash.”

“But what kind of weirdo would go after high schoolers to take photos?”

“Probably a chance encounter, and John Doe thought he'd take the snapshot that would make him a millionaire. Some people are just out of touch. As if anyone really cares about my love life.”

Even now, Kim could feel the other students glancing at her as they passed by. At her and Robert. She was used to the envy of other girls, but that of the boys was new, even if it was probably directed more at her companion.

“Love life?” Robert said smirking.

“You know what I mean, you jerk.”

“Yeah, but it still worries me.”

“Whatever. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“You have to show me your pictures sometime. Put on a little exhibition at your place, then I'll have to invite you to the concert. Remember?”

“I’m tempted to steal more of your precious time. How about after school?”

“Today is a record day, on Fridays too.”

“And Thursday?”

“I’ve to write songs and, above all, catch up on my schoolwork. Sorry.”

“Where are you falling behind?”

“Mainly biology and world history. Do you want to spend time with me under the pretext of studying?”

“Yes.”

“That’s kind of blunt. I like it.”

“Probably won't be much help, but I'll do my best.”

“Okay, but it's gonna be all work and no play.”

“I should manage without becoming a dull boy.”

Kim chuckled.

“Do you like Steven King?”

“Not really. But I like Kubrick.”

“Space Odyssey is great.”

“Yeah, it is. I heard that his new movie is coming out in summer.”

“So, we already have a fixed date once we have graduated?”

“I suppose we do.”

They finished their meal. Lunch belonged to them. She needed it. Stability. Within a few days, it became the focal point of her everyday life. Robert took over the preparation of their lunch again, but they ate together, shared glances, laughs and hugs. Every day.

The boy she had just met became her anchor. Four hours in the studio on Wednesday and Friday, writing the remaining songs, rehearsal on Saturday, and not falling further behind in school demanded everything from Kim. But he was there.

He was there on Thursday. They met in the library after school. Another window seat, but this time for two. Side by side again, like on the bench during lunch. Their bench.

“Biology first?” Robert asked in his deep voice.

Kim had already learned quite a bit about this boy. The deep resonance of his voice when he was confident. How it became faster and even quieter, but not higher, when discussing topics that made him angry, or how he drew out his words when explaining something.

“Sounds good.”

“Where are you at?”

“Molecular evolution. Blotting to be more precise.”

“The compass?”

“You guessed right.”

“It’s always the compass.”

The joint learning session passed far too quickly. They actually achieved more than Kim would have thought possible, and still had fun and teased each other as usual.

Saturday evening was drawing ever closer. The rehearsal on the same day dragged on and on. But after long hardships, this was also accomplished, and Franca brought Kim back to the dormitory. There were still two hours left. Two hours for outfit, hair, and makeup.

The last two parts were simple. He liked the ponytail. So a ponytail it would be. She chose her makeup as subtle as ever, except for the soft eyeliner that was used liberally and gave her a slight gothic touch.

Clothing, however, was more difficult. It would drop below 50 degrees again at night.

Although it brought back unpleasant memories of Monday, Kim decided on a black turtleneck sweater. Over it, a loose-fitting white slipover with black stripes on the collar, sleeves, and waist. Combined with a short skirt in a red and black buffalo plaid pattern, thick tights underneath and shiny black lace-up boots, the outfit was complete.

Kimberly grabbed her red puffer jacket and gray wool hat and was already out the door. All in all, she had almost used up the two hours, and when she walked into the parking lot a good ten minutes early, he was already waiting in his car.

When Robert saw her, he briefly looked her up and down, then jumped out of the car and opened the passenger door for her. A gesture she hadn't thought much of before, but now made her feel a tiny bit special.

As he closed it again behind her, Kim realized that she had forgotten her gloves again. But she didn't want to undo what had already been done. Some gestures deserved a degree of finality.

The engine ran the whole time, its familiar hum a pleasant ambience. As Robert shut his door, she could feel the warmth inside no longer lose itself in the vastness of the outside world. An echo of her true self whenever Robert embraced it. A fleeting thought.

Every day, dusk set in later, and it was still a while before darkness would fall on this sixth of March. But for Kimberly, the night had just begun.