A Walk at Night

At 2:30h the world felt like it had been turned down to low volume. We moved down the stairs. Her pace was careful, not slow, more like… measured. Like she was constantly checking the floor for danger.

Outside the night air hit us like a soft blanket. It was warm… almost like summer was trying to apologize for everything bad happening in our lives right now.

I exhaled. “Feels… nicer than the floor.”

“See?” she said. “Responsible people don’t know what they’re missing.”

“True.” I laughed.

We walked without a destination at first. Just around the block, like she’d asked.

After a few minutes, she spoke again, voice low. “Ren? Are you… tired of me?”

“What?”

“I’m just asking. I know you always say these nice things to me but… you’ve been here for me… a lot… and sometimes you look tired. Also… I keep making things happen.”

“Making things happen?”

“You know what I mean… Hospital, blood, boss, contract… and now you’re sleeping on the floor and–”

“Hey.” I cut in. “You’re not ‘making things happen’... Bad things happen to you. That’s totally different.”

“I’m tired.” I continued.

Yuna flinched.

“But not of you. I’m tired of… watching you try to survive on hard mode like it’s normal.”

I could see from her reaction… she wasn’t used to someone separating her from the problem.

We walked a little further, and I turned down a side street without thinking.

Yuna tilted her head. “Where are we going?”

“Uh…” I slowed. “There’s a park.”

“A park?”

“Yeah, it’s close.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

The park was small and old-fashioned, with creaky swings.

“You’ve been here before, right?”

“Yeah…” I glanced around. “A lot.”

“You played here?”

“Pretty much every day. Back when my biggest problem was whether my mom would find out I scraped my knee and lied about it.”

“That sounds… nice.”

“It was. I mean, my sister made it unbearable half the time, but yeah.”

Yuna gave a small laugh and sat down on one of the swings. I took the other one and started to swing gently.

“...It’s weird.” she said after a moment. “When things are quiet like this.”

I glanced at her. “What do you mean?”

“I keep waiting for something to go wrong.”

She didn’t look at me as she continued. “Every time things slow down my brain tells me I should be bracing myself.”

“I told you earlier, didn't I? Your brain needs some time to figure out that it’s okay to slow down… That nothing bad is happening right now.”

I continued. “I can’t promise nothing bad will ever happen again. Because life is… stupid like that… But… I can promise you won’t be alone when it does.”

Yuna’s eyes glistened, but she didn’t cry. Not this time.

Instead she whispered. “You say things like that so easily.”

I let out a short laugh. “I don’t. My heart is literally fighting for its life every time I open my mouth around you.”

Shit.

I said that out loud.

She turned to me, startled. “W-What?”

I cleared my throat and looked away like the night sky had suddenly become very interesting.

“I mean…” I corrected quickly. “...because you’re scary.”

“I’m… scary?”

“Yeah.” I said, forcing casual into my voice like it was armor. “You’re pregnant and stubborn and you keep trying to handle everything alone. It’s intimidating.

“That’s… not what intimidating means.” she laughed.

“It does...in...um...gamer language.”

She just laughed. But I wasn’t sure what she was thinking right now. Did she notice my slip-up? My face was burning… But I… I couldn’t bring myself to look over and see the expression on her face.

For a moment, we just sat there, gently swinging.

And then my stupid brain decided to ruin everything by remembering the way she’d said “Don’t go” while being half-asleep.

This was the part where an adult would stay quiet.

But right now, I wasn’t thinking like an adult. I was thinking like someone who’d found something he didn’t want to lose… and had no idea what to do with that feeling.

“Yuna.” I said softly.

“Mhm?”

I stared at the ground between my shoes, because looking at her face while saying this would probably kill me.

“Do you know… what’s weird?”

“What?”

“I used to think I was… done. Like my life peaked, and everything after was just… streaming and existing. I wouldn’t have cared if I just disappeared.”

She turned fully toward me, letting her swing slow to a stop.

“And then…” I continued. “You showed up."

Yuna didn’t speak. I didn’t look at her, but from the corner of my eye, I saw her fidgeting with her sleeve.

So I went on.

“And suddenly I’m cooking, planning ahead, worrying about someone other than myself… and… realizing I don’t actually want to disappear anymore.”

I finally looked at her.

Her cheeks tinted pink in the streetlight.

“Somehow… you showing up made my life feel real again.”

The words sat between us… too heavy.

Yuna blinked.

“Oh.” she whispered, like that was all her brain could manage.

“I think…”

My heartbeat spiked hard. This was it. The cliff edge. The place where you either jump or back away forever.

I could’ve said it plainly.

I like you.

I want you.

I don’t care about the mess.

But she was fragile. And the last thing I wanted was for my feelings to become another weight on her chest.

So instead I chose the coward’s version.

…The almost-confession.

“I think…” I said, voice quiet. “...that meeting you was… the best thing that happened to me in a long time.”

She looked taken aback.

“I… I didn’t do anything.”

“You did. You just… existed. And somehow that was enough.”

She went very still.

For a second, I thought I’d broken something precious to me.

Then she inhaled slowly.

“...Ren...” she said, almost scolding. “...you’re not allowed to say stuff like that so casually.”

“I know… but.. I wouldn’t say something like that if I didn’t mean it.”

She didn’t seem to hear that part. Or maybe she pretended not to.

Instead, she looked up at me with that expression she sometimes wore when she was trying to be brave.

“Thank you.” she said.

Thank you?

“That… means more than you think.” she continued. “I’m… glad you’re here too.”

As soon as she said it, she looked up at the stars, avoiding my eyes.

“This place is nice.” she said suddenly.

“Yeah. I like it too.”

We sat there a little longer until a small shiver of fatigue ran through her shoulders.

“Cold?” I asked immediately.

She shook her head. “No… just tired.”

“Then let’s go back.”

She nodded.

On the way home, she walked a little closer than before. Still not touching, but close enough that I could feel her warmth beside me.

When we reached the building, she paused at the entrance.

“...Thank you for the walk.” she whispered.

“Anytime.”

She hesitated like she wanted to say more, but she didn’t. She just walked inside with me, up the stairs, back into the quiet hallway.

—-------------------------

The next morning, I woke up to several messages on my phone. Surprisingly it wasn’t my sister. It was Sakura.

Sakura: Hey, are you awake?

Sakura: I have news about the case.

That woke me up faster than caffeine. I stepped quietly onto the balcony before responding.

Me: What is it?

Sakura: The lawyers filed everything. It’s officially in the court system. We’re waiting for a hearing date. They'll contact us soon

Sakura: And… I was accepted to assist on the case as a legal intern.

Me: That’s great! Thank you so much for helping out!

Sakura: Don’t tell Yuna yet. She needs to rest, and stress will make everything worse.

Sakura: We’ll handle this fight. You just keep her safe!

Keep her safe…

“I will.” I murmured.