Aoi: Happy New Year

“How’s school going, dear?” her mom asks, her voice as soft and caring as ever, even on the phone. “Are you managing the end-of-semester pressure?”

“I’m fine, Mom,” Aoi replied with a soft laugh. “It’s a lot of work, but I’m managing.”

“The pictures you sent of your assignments looked great, dear. We all thought so.” All? She sighs. Probably the entire neighbourhood has seen them by now.

“Thanks. I wish I could have come to visit, but you know how crazy busy this time of year is.”

“Oh, I know. And I’m on the other side of the exams… my students have so many questions now. But, they’re good kids,” she says warmly.

“I can imagine. You always have so many fun stories.” Aoi smiles. There’s no doubt her mother loves being a teacher. “But, I hope we can see each other during the long break.”

“We will,” her mother assures her, then there’s a brief pause. “Then I hope we can meet your young man as well. Yohei-san. I take it things are going well between you.”

“It is.” If you don’t count all the secrecy… She pushes the thought away and keeps chatting. “You know those posters I sent you, the digital ones with the cats? I made them on his computer.”

“They were very cute. And I’m glad you’re focusing more on digital art. Lots of good career opportunities in that area…”

Aoi rolls her eyes. Her mother isn’t wrong, but still…

“Yes. I’ve decided to sign up for a couple of classes next year. I always hated it before, but it turns out that with the right equipment…” She glances at her ancient laptop tucked away on a shelf, then at the slim, shiny one on her desk.

“...and the right company…”

“Mom! But yes. It helps. Yohei-kun is very supportive. He watched me struggle, called my computer a ‘brick’ and a ‘relic’, and the day after, he lent me his. Works like a charm.”

“He seems like a good man. Good job, good salary, and very kind.”

“Mhm…” She fiddles with the edge of her sleeve, looking out the window as her mom continues, sincerely.

“I’m happy for you, Aoi-chan. You deserve someone like that.”

“Yeah, Yohei-san is wonderful. He’s really kind and thoughtful. And a great photographer too.”

“Shared interests are always a plus. Did you say he’s been teaching you the guitar? We can’t wait to hear you play.”

Aoi laughs. “Well, it’ll be some time before I can make a performance, but I’m definitely improving.”

“Good. So, do you have any special plans for the evening? With Yohei-san?”

“Just studying and painting. He’s working, but said he’ll come over if it doesn’t get too late.” She pauses, something in her chest tightening as she says the word ‘working’... “I might watch some of that big live gala show on TV. Eat some snacks…”

“Oh yes. That sounds nice. I saw some trailers and it seems like it'll be a wonderful show. Isn’t that new idol couple going to perform? The neighbours’ kids have been talking about it non-stop.”

“They… seem very popular,” Aoi manages to wheeze out, her chest tightening even more. “Anyway. I’ve gotta go. Say hi to Dad for me, and we’ll talk again soon.”

“Of course, Aoi-chan. Study well, just don’t forget to take care of yourself too.”

“I won't. Happy New Year, Mom.”

“Happy New Year, Aoi-chan.”

Once they hang up, she remains sitting, finishing the last of her tea – the green one that’s Yohei’s favorite. Should she watch it? He had suggested not to, arguing that it might be hard for her. But, he’s always so supportive of her work, and she wants to do the same for him… Watching his big performance is the least she can do, and he’s talked so much about the clothes and their rehearsals that she can’t help being curious.

Well, there’s still a couple of hours to go, so with a sigh, she picks up the heavy History of Arts book and settles down to read.

***

Almost time, and she’s ready. Futon rolled out, and she’s made a comfy little nest with pillows and a blanket. Her schoolbooks sit on one of the pouffes, and a large cup of coffee has replaced the tea from earlier. She desperately needs the caffeine.

Once she’s comfortably settled, she clicks the TV on and zaps through the channels until she finds it. The Great New Year’s Show. Two beautiful hosts are talking about the evening’s events, making jokes, while the camera shifts between them and the large audience. There’s laughter and applause after every joke, even if she doesn’t find them all that funny. A number of faces flash by on the screen, introducing the celebrity guests, most of whom she’s never seen before. Then he’s there. Hair stylishly messy, fingers shaping a V-sign, while he winks and smiles. Yohei… No… Ryo.

But it’s another young man who joins the hosts on the puffy white leather sofas, probably an actor… as the background now shows scenes from some action movie. Aoi sighs, takes a sip of coffee, and turns her eyes to her book. Each time a new guest is introduced, she looks up expectantly, only to be disappointed. Until...

“The rumored couple we’ve all been waiting for – give a warm applause for RYO and the lovely RAYNA….”

Aoi’s head snaps up. There he is… her too…

Smoke twirls around their feet as they walk in, his hair almost incandescent under the spotlights. Shining along with the silver threads forming an elaborate pattern in his jacket and pants. Next to him, the pink-haired girl is a silvery dream. The pattern in her too-revealing dress mirrors his, with black on silver. More silver shimmers in her hair, on her face…

They're smiling, waving to the audience, looking into the camera that zooms to a close-up. They look stunning. So perfect. Too perfect. Aoi looks down at her comfy, soft pants… the paint-stains on her fingers…

She takes a sip from her sturdy mug while Yohei… Ryo raises a thin, delicate glass with sparkling champagne. Never before have their worlds seemed so far apart.

Inevitably, the talk moves from the musical collaboration and the duet they’ll be performing later to their supposed romance. They’re both laughing, suitably evasive, but looking a little too long at each other… and that girl is definitely leaning closer to him than necessary. They don’t say that they’re a couple, but all the little hints are there… as if they’re just not telling the whole truth…

She suddenly wishes she didn’t know just how good Yohei is at omitting things… Wishes, irrationally, that he’d just deny it. Tell the world that it’s nothing. That he has someone else. Had he known she’d feel like this? How much it would hurt? Is that why he told her not to watch?

Or, is there something he doesn’t want her to see?

She hates that she even thinks the thought. She knows him, knows the truth. Trusts him. Trusts them. What they have,

On the screen, the conversation refuses to move on, the female host smiling as she keeps prying.

“Having spent so much time together, you must have learned a lot about each other. Can you tell me which of you is the best cook?”

Rayna laughs and points her glass at Ryo, who shakes his head, laughing too.

“Oh, it’s him. Definitely. Ryo-kun makes the most delicious omelettes,” she says, leaning close to him again.

Cooking? Omelettes? Now, that’s a direct lie. Yohei can’t cook anything that requires more skill than reheating something in the microwave. But the audience and the hosts are eating it up… How can lies look so beautiful?

“Breakfast omelettes?” the host insinuates, and the audience goes wild at the implication.

No, protein shakes… that’s the only thing Yohei has for breakfast… Protein shakes and perhaps coffee if he has the time. Blinking away stupid tears, Aoi goes to switch the kettle on, standing next to it until she can refill her cup.

Once she’s back in her little nest, RYO and REYNA have been replaced with a middle-aged comedian, who is bantering and trading jokes with the hosts. Off-center, she can see they’ve joined the other guests, mingling, waiting for their performance later.

She lowers the sound, picks up her book, only to immediately put it back down, reaching for her phone instead.

Is it wrong not to want to share him with the world? When he means so much to so many people? Scrolling down one of RYO’s pages, she can’t even count the messages from his fans: confessions of how he makes their days brighter, how he gives them strength to smile – for him – even on rough days. How his music helps them through dark times. How much they love him…

Why would she want to deny them that? Is she really that selfish and jealous? Envious of the way his art touches people... 

It’s always been her dream too – connecting with people through her art, touching the hearts of hundreds… maybe even thousands. She looks at his profile again. 1.6 million followers. 1.6 million… she never reflected on the number until now… It’s staggering. As out of this world as he looks on the screen.

Her discipline for studying is gone, shattered, so instead, she stays on her phone… scrolling, trying to focus on small, silly games, until it’s time. Time for RYO and RAYNA to take the stage. The intro to the new song playing as they take their places. Posing together.

They are as breathtaking as ever; the camera is lovingly zooming in on them, highlighting every little detail. The soft curves of her hips and chest, her shimmering hair and teasing smile… His lopsided, charming little smile, his eyes, the top buttons of his shirt that’s now open to reveal the outline of his collarbones… A line she was running her fingers along just a few days ago… a line she knows so well, just as she knows the warmth and softness of his skin… his lips…

The lips that are now singing loving words to another woman.

They look so perfect, so fluid together, every movement perfectly synced – as if they were made for each other. The illusion is so strong that even she believes it for a moment. Even if she knows this effortlessness comes from many hours of hard work and relentless rehearsing.  He’s shared so many stories, both of their bloopers and successes, yet…

“The light in your eyes is all I’ll ever need…” The refrain drills painfully into her heart as the shimmering beings on screen gaze into each other's eyes, an elegant hand resting briefly on his chest… That look in her eyes as she sings to him… Aoi barely resists the urge to chuck the remote into the TV. She knows it’s not real. It’s just an act.

Why, why is he so good at acting?

The tones finally fade away, and applause takes over. They take their bows and return to the smiling hosts and the other guests, while another young singer takes the scene. The performances continue as the big clock on the background screen behind the scene steadily ticks toward midnight and the new year.

When midnight draws nearer, the stage fills with all the guests, Yohei standing in the middle, his white hair and height making him stand out just enough.

“Ten… Nine… Eight…” The hosts pick up the countdown, gesturing for the audience to join. “... Four… Three… Two… ONE!”

The screen shifts from the clock to silent fireworks as confetti cannons shower the guests in glittering fragments. Everybody raises their glasses as the camera flicks between the audience and the different guests. Everybody seems so happy. Yohei is there, his face filling the screen, hair full of golden confetti…

…and she can’t watch anymore. Turning her back to the TV, Aoi moves to the window. The streets are dark, quiet. Nothing is moving in the soft shadows created by the street lights.

“Happy New Year,” she mumbles to herself, as music and laughter come from the TV behind her. Raising the remote, she turns it off, her apartment now as quiet as the world outside her window. Closing her eyes, she leans her forehead against the cold glass… 

“Happy New Year.”