End

I ran as fast as my legs could carry me forwards.

My mind was racing fast, barely capable of comprehending what had just happened.

What just happened? She’ll be fine. She’ll definitely be fine. There’s simply no way that she isn’t recovering.

--

She can’t. Why? Why me? Why here? Why her? How do I deserve this?

Tears began streaming down my face again, as I pushed past the small crowds of people scattered across the sidewalk.

Is it my fault? Was it the ring? I knew I should have waited longer. I ruined it. Like always. It’s all ruined. She’ll never forgive me for this. I was dumb to believe I actually deserve her. It’s all my fault. I’ll tell her when she wakes up. I’ll leave; it’ll be for the better.

I had fully exhausted myself, but finally made it to the hospital. My legs wouldn’t stop shaking. The endless stream of tears almost completely blocked my vision as I stumbled into the reception.

I slowly approached the counter, as one of the nurses already stood up to attend to me.

“Is everything alright, Ma’am? You should sit down, before you collapse. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“M… My girlfriend. She was brought here just a moment ago, I think. Her name…” I stuttered, barely scraping enough words together to form a coherent sentence.

“There’s only one person who was brought in by ambulance just now. Could that be her?”

“Yes, that’s her.” I suddenly sprung up. “Her name’s Yuri. Yuri Utsuro. That’s what her ID says. I have her wallet with me, right here.”

“Alright Ma’am. She’s in the operating room right now, but you’ll be notified as soon as her status changes. Please take a seat in the waiting area. Can I bring you anything? A water maybe?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“I don’t mean to intrude, but you’re obviously not. If there’s anything you need, you can just ask.”

I sat down at the sparsely populated waiting area, wiping away the last tears off my swollen eyes.

She’s in the operating room, so she’ll be fine, right? That’s a clear sign that they can help her. She just has to be fine. Please, Yuri, don’t die. I can’t do this again. Please. I beg you. We’re gonna fly to Germany and have a beautiful wedding there, and spend our honeymoon somewhere like the Maldives. Or even Hawaii. Anything’s fine by me, really. In the end you’ll probably decide on where we go, like always. We’ll dine only in the most high-end establishments in the evening, and huddle up under one large blanket at night. I’ll wake up with my arms wrapped around you and yours around me, and we’ll both smile. We’ll cuddle for a while, and kiss. A lot. And then, when room service comes knocking, I’ll tell them to wait, while we stay inside all day and do whatever you want. We’ll spend all day in bed, until we fall asleep in each other’s arms in the evening, only to rinse and repeat as long as it lasts.

A slight tap on my shoulder dragged me out of my thoughts.

“Hey there. You don’t seem to be doing too well. Here, take this.”

The nurse handed me a cup of water.

“Thanks.” I muttered, taking a small sip of it immediately.

“If you need someone to talk to, that can be arranged. I’m just letting you know. It must be hard, having a loved one suddenly get brought in to the hospital like this.”

“How is she? Can you tell me? I need to know. Will she be alright?”

“The doctors are doing the best they can right now.”

The best they can? So she won’t be fine? Is the best actually enough?

“I knew I should have waited a bit longer. It’s all my fault.”

My head began buzzing from the severe dehydration

“I don’t think it is. You know what, I’ll get you someone qualified to talk to. Just wait here a bit longer.”

The nurse stood up from the seat next to me and hurried away.

Not long after, an older gentleman approached me.

“Hello there, Miss. I’ve heard about your situation and came here to talk to you. Now, you mentioned this being your fault? What makes you think that?”

“I shouldn’t have proposed. I knew I should have waited. It’s my fault, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think so. From what I know of the situation, nobody is truly at fault for what happened. She appears to have suffered a severe brain trauma a long time ago, which somehow caused this to happen. With the scans that are available to me, it doesn’t seem like anything specific could be the cause of this situation. I’m here to talk to you if there’s anything else.”

“No, there’s nothing else you can do. I’m sure.”

“Alright. I’ll still be here though.”

A severe brain trauma? What? How could that even happen? They must be lying. So she won’t recover? I knew it. It’s my fault. It’s always my fault. If only I had just waited. We should have spent the evening at her place, just hugging all night while watching some of the romance flicks she’s so obsessed with. But I had to go out of my way and book a fancy dinner for two. I probably worsened her condition even more.

I stayed up through the entire night, incapable of closing my eyes for more than a few seconds. An update about her status could come at any moment, and I wasn’t going to miss it.

Shortly before dawn, someone finally approached me again, after not elaborating on her condition any further than they did when I first arrived.

Two people stood before me. A doctor, with a worn down look on his face only rivaled by my own tiredness, and the old gentleman who was with me last evening.

“Miss Wada, I am terribly sorry that I have to deliver you this news. Yuri Utsuro has sadly passed away. Are there any other living relatives or family members to contact?”

Passed away? As in dead? She’s dead? No, it cant be. She can’t.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

It’s not true. She’s fine. Everything will be fine. I should sleep. Yes. It’s all just a dream. I’ve barely slept as of late. I must have dozed off, and this is just a terrible nightmare.

I felt as my legs crumbled to dust. I didn’t even attempt to catch my fall. It simply couldn’t be true.

“Please tell me this isn’t true. You must be lying. Please. It can’t be. She has to be alive.” I whispered into the floor.

The older gentleman helped me back up and sat me back down on one of the chairs.

“I regret to inform you, Miss Wada, but she has passed away. We tried everything we could,” the doctor’s calm voice replied.

Everything’s not enough! How? Why? I suppose I only deserve this. I’m sorry, Yuri, but our wedding will have to wait. This just cannot be real.

“I…” Before I could continue speaking, the floodgates opened up. Tears came welling up in my eyes, uncontrollably streaming down my face. The last few drops of fluid within my body had just left, together with her. I clamped my arms around her coat, inhaling her fleeting scent before it could completely vanish.

I ran out of the door, toward her apartment. I knew the streets around her apartment like my back pocket, so even without being able to see anything, I barely managed to reach the building.

I crawled up the flights of stairs toward her door, legs shaking uncontrollably.

After two minutes of agony walking toward her entrance door, I finally made it.

I pulled out the key she gave me after our fourth date, and tried to turn it. Some initial struggle later, and the door gave in. As it opened, there it was. Her apartment. But the lights weren’t turned on. I turned toward the light switch, but my body suddenly gave in completely.

My face crashed into the lovingly prepared rose petals in the entrance, while the rest took the small cabinet beside the door with it.

I couldn’t move a single muscle.

Nothing.

Utter darkness.