Nigthmare

I don’t have rights? That can’t be true. And Yuri. No. There’s no way he wasn’t lying through his teeth the entire time. I’m classified as a WMD? What could nukes possibly have to do with all of this? This is taking far too long for a dream though. And didn’t I just wake up from one? None of this makes sense at all.

The car came to a stop at a large, steel gate. The driver rolled down his window and held his badge at the guard, before rolling it back up.

The gate rolled open in spectacularly slow fashion, revealing the entrance to an underground structure large enough to warrant its own underground garage entrance.

“Welcome to Tokyo Base of Operations, where all the magic happens. This is our central command for the entire Japanese mainland. And where you’ll be spending the rest of your presumably short life. Since using your power drains that much more emotions and energy compared to regular traumatic magic, you won’t have that much time left anyway. Now, if you need another, actual lecture about the history of Traumata, then you’ll find everything you need in here. Not like you’re actually allowed to leave this place without proper authorization. Welcome to your new, and probably last, home.”

He led me out of the car towards a large door, leading into a completely white corridor. Then we took a left turn, into another corridor labeled “Medical Examinations”. When I entered the room he gestured me towards, however, all that was inside it was a single examination table at the exact center of the room, completely colored in sterile white. The entire room seemed almost like out of a psych ward or sci-fi movie. A new disembodied voice suddenly rang through speakers hidden somewhere inside the room.

“Please just lie on the table, Miss. You won’t feel a thing.”

All of a sudden, my hazy memory returned to me.

Yuri… She’s actually... She’s dead. What’s even the point of this? What’s the point of going through any of this if she’s not even here? I want to die. I have no reason to live without her. Everything I planned. All of it crumbles to dust if she’s not with me. I should have told that asshole to kill me right then and there. Maybe I could’ve reunited with her that way. Maybe she’s waiting for me, wherever she is right now. There’s no point in any of this.

“Please lie on the table now, Miss.”

I simply obliged their request. There was nothing left now anyway. Nothing of any worth. Not my parents, not my Yuri. Not even Satoru would speak to me nowadays. I’ll never feel the beautiful warmth of her bare skin touching mine ever again. I’ll never get to touch her soft lips with mine ever again.

As I lay down on the table, two metal restraints sprung up from inside it, fixing my hands to the armrest.

“Just relax now. It’ll be over very soon. And please recline yourself fully, otherwise this won’t work.”

Why not? Maybe this’ll end my suffering a little sooner than it would end naturally. I don’t think I can just live on without her, even if I told myself that it was for her. I was in such a dark place before we met, and she lit up my world once more, after what happened back then. All those years not even Satoru could help me, and now they’ve all gone to waste. 23 years of nothingness. 23 years of bittersweet memories. It will all end soon, I’m sure.

I reclined myself fully, and the ceiling above suddenly opened up. From it descended an apparatus not quite fit to ease my suffering. It was merely some kind of scanning device, akin to an ultrasound or x-ray machine. It stopped halfway through the room, and began making strange noises. I felt a strange sensation throughout my body as soon as the noises started. It tickled all over, aiding in suppressing the few tears I had left in me. I even slightly chuckled form the strange sensation. It lasted for what felt like an eternity, but was probably closer to five minutes.

“Alright, your results are coming in right now. You would probably make your parents proud at least a little if they saw these values. They’re incredible. The algorithm has determined to coin your Traumata “Kälte”. There seems to something else inside you, though the scanner couldn’t quite make out what it was. This should suffice for now. You’ll be led to your new private quarters by Agent Araki. Welcome to the force, I guess.”

With that, the disembodied voice succumbed to the silence of my racing mind, before being broken by Agent Araki opening the door.

“Follow me then, kid.”

Without another word, he led me through a few more white corridors, until we reached a door with my name written on the display next to it.

As the door opened, it reminded me of Yuri’s apartment. Also incredibly neat, only filled with the bare minimum of furniture necessary. Fitting, really. At least I won’t forget about her now, as if I ever even could in the first place.

I closed the door behind me after entering and immediately pressed my face against the surprisingly soft pillow on the bed. As soon as my head made contact with it, my entire body collapsed from the exhaustion built up over the past day.

Why even continue? Maybe I should end it. She would want me to live on without her; I just know it. I can’t disappoint her, even in death. But what’s the point in not disappointing her if she isn’t here to reprimand me for it? She isn’t here to hug me, or kiss me, or do anything else with me. There’s nothing left to light up my world, my night sky. Maybe we’ll be reunited. I will find you. If there is a spirit realm, whatever it is, then the dead should pass on to there, shouldn’t they? Then there actually might be a realistic chance. I need it to end. It can’t go on without her.

With thoughts still rampaging through my mind, I fell asleep, finally.