It's All a Blur

For a while, their hands were intertwined. But soon the bill arrived at the table and the last sequence from the Plumeria Walk repeated itself. Robert and Kim picked up their jackets from the hostess and disappeared back into the streets of Hildesia.

At the door, Robert took her hand again. She didn't protest. It felt right, and so they walked back to the car together.

“What are we?” Kim asked timidly.

“Do you mean whether we are a couple or not?”

“No, I mean if we are humans or goblins or ghosts.”

Robert couldn't hold back his laughter. That laugh, his smile, his eyes. The feeling she hadn't wanted to name just a few days ago took on a very precise form, frightening and exhilarating.

“What do you want us to be?”

“Why are you avoiding the question?”

“I just want to be with you, to be close to you. Do we have to label it already?”

“I just want to know how you feel. About me. About us.”

“Sorry, I'm just not good at these relationship things… We're dating. How about that?”

“That's enough. But maybe it won’t be tomorrow.”

“Just stealing my lines like that…”

“Hey, I paraphrased it. Huge difference.”

The two continued on their way, undeterred. Wordless for a while, still holding hands. Soon they reached the strip mall and its parking lot again.

They quickly got into the car and drove back down the road they had come.

“How far is it?”

“A good ten minutes.”

“Outdoors?”

“Yeah.”

Kimm tried to pull herself together. She wasn't going to be claimed by sleep again. Not this time.

The next turn also took them further along the road they had come on. So they headed west, out of the city. Not that this information was of much use to Kim.

“Was it really worth switching to the academy for the sake of art?”

“I think so. Mr. Rye is pretty much the best art teacher you can find at a high school on the East Coast.”

“You’ve mentioned him before. Is he famous? As an artist, I mean.”

“He was in the 80s, when neo-expressionism dominated the art market.”

“Expressionism is a term I have heard before. It’s about expressing your emotions instead of trying to depict a reflection of reality. Like The Scream.”

“That's right. But Munch isn't exactly my favorite.”

“Munch?”

“He painted The Scream. I copied some of my favorites from that era. I'll show them to you when you come over. Rye is from another generation. The original Expressionists painted around a hundred years ago, also at the turn of the century.”

“You're good at history, right? That really helped with studying.”

“I can remember the broad outline of history quite well, but when it comes to dates, I'm actually useless. On good days, I can narrow down events to a decade.”

They drove into a side street that wound around a warehouse. On the other side, a steep slope rose up, which after a few meters led to a small parking lot with four garages.

“Here we are.”

Robert simply parked between the garages and they got out.

“Won't there be any problems if we block the garages?”

“No, no, they're hardly ever used. The warehouse over there is empty, and they actually belong to it.”

Robert walked around the car, handed Kim a flashlight and took her by the other hand. She followed him over to the slope, where concrete steps became visible among the undergrowth.

“We're going up there?”

Robert nodded and pulled Kim toward him, then let her walk up the steps with him right behind her. She turned on the newly acquired source of light and illuminated their way forward. When they reached the top, Kimberly found a railway track even more overgrown than the steps.

“I think I know where this is going now.”

“You remember?”

“The bridge, right?”

“Yeah.”

Robert placed his hand in hers again. They followed the track back eastward, toward the city. After a few minutes, the railway bridge they had seen a week ago from high up on Fortune Hill Monument came into view.

He led her to the edge. The pale moon, already waning again, bathed the surroundings in its pallid light. They sat down and dangled their legs off the bridge. Kim turned off the flashlight. It wasn’t necessary anymore.

The skyline stretched out before them. The city’s radiance was so much closer than last week. So much more diverse in its colors and details. Like will-o'-the-wisps, the lights invited foolish souls to reach out and try to catch them.

Robert put his arm around her. Kim snuggled close to him and rested her head on his shoulder. A tingling sensation spread throughout her body. He rested his head on hers. If only this moment could last forever.

They sat there for what felt like an eternity that passed far too quickly.

“Let's move on.” Robert whispered.

“Why?”

“It’s freezing.”

“We would make a great ice sculpture.”

“Come on, there's more to see.”

He got up and helped Kim to her feet. The cold was already taking its toll on the girl. Slight shivers. From the cold? From being so close to him? She tried to avoid confusing thoughts by turning back on the light.

Robert started moving further down the train track, Kim nestled close to his side. After barely ten minutes, he suddenly stopped. Kim was torn from her waking dream when he pointed down the slope.

“What’s down there?”

“An old mansion. Has been vacant for two years.”

The flashlight was unable to satiate Kim’s curiosity. It was too dark. He climbed down the slope, which was much less steep here than it had been before the bridge, and helped her along.

“This is going to be quite an adventure, isn’t it?”

“Don’t worry.”

They reached the property quite quickly. A large garden stretched out before them, almost like a small park. Kim could make out a swampy pond and a weathered two-story gazebo. The mansion was now also much easier to make out.

They moved a little closer and took in the magnificent building, an Italianate Victorian house. Two stories and a cute little cupola on top. On the left side, a conservatory was vaguely visible. It must have offered a generous panoramic view of the garden.

“What is this place?”

“It was built almost 150 years ago by some big businessman, then it was a museum, and finally a kindergarten.”

“It's really beautiful.”

“I would have liked to show it to you during the day, but it's not so easy to sneak in there. I would love to buy it one day and restore it. The conservatory would be perfect for painting, and there is also a narrow but long gallery upstairs.”

“You certainly have a big goal there.”

“It would be a bit lonely living there alone… I haven't told anyone else about this, you know?”

“There must be a nice big bedroom too.”

Robert spun Kim around so that she was facing him up close. They gazed deeply into each other's eyes. Even in the darkness, Kim could see the hunger shining in his.

He made his move. It was settled. They were so close. Soft flesh. Their lips parted and it was all a blur.

At some point, they were back at the car. Time had temporarily lost its meaning. The walk back, the drive to the dorm, gentle transitions, colors, and feelings. Another kiss goodbye. Not so passionate. Heralding a loss. But not forever.

Kimberly's heart ached.