Mistakes Were Made

“WHAT?” came the inevitable question.

Ryuuji was well and properly flabbergasted and bamboozled, and Hotaru owed her man one hell of an explanation.

“Well, you know how I don’t expect to survive this, right? And I didn’t want you to be alone after I was gone, so uh… I promised Akari I would help her conquer you.”

His mind went blank for a moment, until he found it in him to snap at her.

“Are you outside of your mind?”

“Sorry! I’m sorry, okay?”

“Hotaru, what the hell were you thinking?”

“I was thinking of you!”

“She’s nineteen! I’m thirty-two, it would never work between us!”

“It was a long-term plan! The gap won’t be so bad in a few years.”

“Oh my God…”

“I wasn’t proposing a fling. Something long-term would be perfectly appropriate; she just needed to wait a few years and win you over.”

“But I’m not even in love with her.”

“Not now, but that will change.”

“What kind of ideas did you get in her head?”

“I didn’t get any… Ugh, come here. You can see for yourself.”

Hotaru stood up and dragged Ryuuji into her room. Then she opened the veranda and pulled him outside, where she pointed her finger to the night sky.

“Look at the stars,” she urged him.

“What for?”

“Just do it. Reigetsu blessed you; you can read them.”

Despite his reluctance, Ryuuji looked to the sky as instructed. Reigetsu had mentioned the link between stars and divination before, so he could already imagine where things were headed.

“Okay. Imagine a future when I’m not around.”

“Hotaru, I can’t—”

“Don’t be corny, just do it.”

He sighed and gave in.

A future without her. What would it look like? The very notion felt miserable.

“Imagine I died and you’re alone with Akari. What would happen between you?”

Ryuuji hated to think of such tragedy, losing Hotaru all over again. But as he considered the possibility and thought about Akari instead, he began to see a faint picture on the starry sky.

It was like a fleeting mirage, barely visible, but unmistakably warm. He could see flashes of this future, mere what-ifs at the moment, yet comfortably inside the bounds of fate. And these glimpses were… lovely.

Just like Hotaru had suggested, Akari could share a bright future with him. They could spend their lives together, and build everything Hotaru wanted to give him but was unable to.

Then, by reflex, Ryuuji tried to peer into Hotaru’s fate… but no matter how hard he stared at the stars, all he saw were hazy images he couldn’t tell apart.

“Mine isn’t so bright, is it?” she said, smiling awkwardly. “Don’t worry, I’ve known for a long time. My fate is difficult to read because of my power, but still… even Reigetsu isn’t optimistic.”

Then she looked up too, her eyes glowing with energy.

“He did warn you, didn’t he? That if you stuck with me, you’d be corrupted.”

“Yeah. He did mention it.”

“But it isn’t too late. If you go with Akari, you can still change it.”

“Hotaru. We already talked about this; I’m not leaving you.”

“I know. I know… I won’t push you away anymore. If you want to go down with me, then so be it. We’ll go to hell together, but um… I did promise you to her.”

“Did you show her this?” he asked, pointing at the sky.

“Yes. She was very reluctant about it, but after a long talk, she agreed to look after you in my stead. Mind you, she wasn’t happy about the idea of me kicking the bucket, but still. We figured that, if it was inevitable, she might as well have you.”

“Oh Gods.”

“I know, I fucked up. I can’t exactly go back to her and say ‘hey, I’ll be keeping your destined partner after all. Sorry about that!’ Can you imagine? It’d break her!”

“Yeah, no shit.”

Ryuuji grasped at his own hair, desperate for a way out. He wasn’t in love with Akari at the moment, but he did care for her deeply. They’d only spent a year working together, but in that time, she became the undisputed highlight of his life. But now, thanks to Hotaru’s meddling, he was in one hell of a bind with her.

And in that regard, Hotaru herself wasn’t faring any better. She’d only just met Akari, but it was safe to say the two of them were kindred spirits. She liked the girl very much, and was genuinely rooting for her. Thus, the idea of turning around and keeping Ryuuji after having promised him to her was abhorrent. An utter stab in the back.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place, Hotaru had to get creative.

“Okay. Okay, I think I’ve got it. I have an idea, but don’t get angry at me.”

“You’re about to say something insane, aren’t you?”

“Just a little.”

Judging from the look on her face, he could already imagine.

“If the day comes that you fall in love with her and I’m still alive, then go for it.”

“What? And I’m supposed to break up with you just like that?”

“No. You’ll date both of us.”

“…Are you kidding me?”

“I’m dead serious. I dug this grave myself, so I’m owning up to it. I don’t want to leave you, but I don’t want to leave Akari hanging either. So I’ll share you with her.”

“Oh my God…”

“What? It’s every man’s dream, isn’t it? You’ll have a flower in each hand.”

“Not every man.”

“So says you. You’re not in love with her right now, but when it comes to the future, the stars beg to differ.”

“What kind of meta-accusation is this? I haven’t even cheated on you!”

“I know, and you won’t. When you do grow feelings for her, I’ll be cool with it.”

“You’re something else, Hotaru.”

“I did try to keep you away all these years.”

“Fuck me… Fine. Fine, let’s say we have it your way. But what about Akari? Do you think she’d just accept this kind of arrangement?”

“Yup. She loves you enough to put up with good ole me. All I need to persuade her is your blessing. So, what will it be? Are you okay with this?”

“…Do what you want.”

“Alright then. But oof. This will be one hell of a talk…” said Hotaru, scratching her cheek as she looked sideways toward the soundproofed room. “You’d better stay in my room for the night. I’ll handle Akari.”

“Go easy on her. She didn’t ask for any of this.”

“I know. I’ll make sure to be… tactful.”

So said Hotaru, smiling awkwardly as she left the veranda.

“Have a good night, love,” she added before scurrying away.

Left alone, Ryuuji cracked open his cigarette box and lit a new one.

“How in the world am I supposed to sleep now?” he asked himself, looking up to the night sky. “Ren will have my head for this.”