Blue is the warmest color

A place of tight hugs. A place where the sun rules absolutely everything.

Here, the human warmth rivals the intensity of the tropical climate. But reality... it isn't always so kind.

Just like in the US, many here simply follow the silent flow of life. The "nine-to-five" is the safe path. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course.

But for those who dare to dream, the air starts to feel thin. It’s as if an invisible ledger exists. On one side, the "acceptable" dreams. On the other, the "unrealistic" ones.

Everyone knows this list, even if no one ever speaks it aloud. Those who don’t fit in end up suffocated by their own silence.

It’s December. Christmas is just around the corner. But instead of a white winter, we have a scorching summer.

Between the festive lights and the lively, sweltering nights, that very silence has just claimed another victim.

The sun hadn't fully risen yet.

The morning light slowly streamed down the apartment walls, entering without knocking through the open windows. One of them led directly into Yuri's room.

But it wasn't the light that woke him.

He was already awake.

Had been for a while.

Perhaps out of stubbornness.
Or perhaps out of hope.

It was the first day of summer vacation—the last before finishing college. On the nightstand, the clock read 4:00 AM.

That said it all.

The night before, he had his last dream.

"I shouldn't be upset," Yuri thought, sitting up in bed.
"It's not like I was expecting a miracle."

He repeated this softly, almost out of habit, as he got dressed and packed the few things he would take. He didn't want frustration to take over—especially today, when he would have to deal with people all day.

— Have a good trip, Yuri!

The voice came as soon as he left the building.

Mister Jair was there, as always, leaning on his broom, with that simple, sincere smile. Probably getting ready to sweep the leaves before the street filled with movement.

— Thank you, Mister Jair — Yuri replied. — When I come back, I'll bring you a little souvenir.

They shook hands.
Firmly.
Familiar.

And, somehow… it didn't sound forced.

This caught him by surprise.

Shouldn't he be sadder than this?

But, at that moment, giving up felt strangely comfortable.
Maybe what hurt the most wasn't the failure…
But the time he spent insisting.

— I really tried to accomplish at least one of those dreams… — he murmured, just to himself.

Inside the Uber, the city slid by silently through the window. Yuri replayed the last six months in his head, over and over. Trying to justify himself. Trying to convince himself. Trying to forgive himself.

Even at the bus terminal, with music blasting in his headphones, he still repeated the same thoughts, like a mantra.

But when the bus finally pulled up to the boarding gate, Yuri had already said everything he needed to hear.

Before getting on, he paused.

Took a deep breath.

Like a ritual, he needed to accept.
He needed to leave this behind.

— But I failed… — he whispered.
— I failed at all of them.

The landscape gradually began to change.

And, with it, something slightly tightened his chest.

"Welcome to Icugimirê."

The sign quickly passed. After it, the slopes appeared… and then the deep blue of the sea. Sunlight flooded the bus, making Yuri squint.

When his vision adjusted, the horizon opened before him.

The ocean stretched endlessly.

Back to the place where he grew up.

His hometown.

A little later, still near the city entrance, another sign appeared.

One he knew well.

"Pico-do-Sol Eco Resort."

His parents' resort.
Where he was born and raised.

Yuri had already told the driver to stop there. He got off the bus carrying only one suitcase.

The rest of his things were already there.
They always had been.

He stood in front of the gate for a few seconds.

His mind went blank.

A strange feeling took over his chest. It wasn't sadness. Nor happiness.

Something between nostalgia and restlessness.

A nameless feeling.

— Look who decided to show up!

The voice came from inside the resort, pulling Yuri back to reality. A familiar voice.

A boy approached wearing the resort uniform open over a BYE-B t-shirt. Silver piercings gleamed in his ears. His eyes were green.

He seemed taller.

But Yuri would recognize that mischievous face anywhere.

— Felipe!

The handshake turned into a hug in seconds. The slight melancholy Yuri carried dissolved right there.

Felipe had been working at the resort since before Yuri went to college. Now, he was practically his parents' right-hand man.

— First time I see the owner's son arriving with the employees — Felipe joked.

— Of course — Yuri replied. — I'm not crazy enough to let you handle this alone. We'd go bankrupt in a week.

— Thank goodness — Felipe laughed. — For a second, I thought you were trying to sabotage me. You're the one who convinced your parents to take a vacation, right?

Just remembering how much he insisted, Yuri let out a discreet sigh.

— With a lot of effort. I just wish they hadn't decided everything at the last minute.

— Congratulations, huh? — Felipe laughed loudly, pulling a badge out of his pocket. — You screwed us both! It's the start of the season, so the first few days are going to be crazy.

He handed the badge to Yuri.

Below the resort logo, just his name.
No position.

— Use this for the next fifteen days, or the guests will mistake you for a tourist — Felipe said, taking the suitcase. — I'm going to help Digão with the tours today. You stay at check-in. You still remember how to do it, right?

Yuri nodded slightly.

He remembered.

It was pretty much what he expected.
Actually… it was exactly what he wanted.

Something busy.
Something simple.

Perfect for keeping his mind occupied.

Deep down, Yuri always liked the chaos of the beginning of the season. After all, he had been helping at the reception since he was sixteen.

— I'm heading out — Felipe said, moving toward the main house. — I'll leave your suitcase at your parents' house. Good luck at reception!

Since the decision had already been made by him, Yuri headed straight for the reception.

As he walked along the tree-lined path, the change in atmosphere was clear. The air seemed lighter. The sea breeze mixed with the sound of the leaves rustling above him.

Then—

Footsteps.

Running footsteps.

The gravel crunched behind him, getting closer and closer.

— Guess who it is!

Suddenly, hands covered his eyes from behind. Yuri wasn't even startled.

He recognized that voice.

Even without being able to remember whose it was.

— Huh? Who is it? — he asked, confused.

— You don't understand the concept of "guessing," do you? — the voice replied instantly.

Yuri strained his memory. Where had he heard that voice before?

Maybe it was his cousin, Valeria. She was always at the resort when he still lived there.

— Ah, I don't know! How am I supposed to know? Is it Val?

— Wow. Did you really forget my voice? — the person complained. — You're a terrible guesser.

The hands slowly moved away. Whoever it was realized it wouldn't work.

Yuri turned around.

When his eyes adjusted to the brightness, the first thing he saw was long, shiny hair, light blue like the sky. It contrasted with her brown skin. It was tied up in a high bun, held by a green scrunchie.

For the second time that day—

It was a face he would recognize anywhere.

Which made sense.

After all, this was his hometown.

— Ana?

— Tadaaa! — she spread her arms, striking an exaggerated pose, with a huge smile.

Four years had passed since Yuri and Ana last saw each other in person. A year older, she had moved to the capital to study aesthetics even before he finished high school.

— Finally — she teased. — I was starting to think you wouldn't recognize me.

— Well… the blue hair is new — Yuri replied.

Not just the color, but the length.

Throughout elementary and high school, there was one thing that never changed about her.

Her short, black hair.

— Cool, right? — she said, full of pride. — I've been dyeing it since last year.

You could tell she liked the new look.

And, even though it was very different from what he remembered, it didn't look strange.

In fact… it suited her.

— And look at this! — she pointed excitedly to the resort logo embroidered on her lab coat. — I also started working here as a masseuse last year, right after I graduated! Now we're coworkers.

But what caught Yuri's attention wasn't the logo.

It was the scar.

Just above the collar, shaped like a cross.

A scar he knew well.

Immediately, childhood memories flooded back.

— Hey, my eyes are up here, you know? — Ana joked.

The panic came before the thought.

Yuri realized too late where he had been looking all this time.

— What?! No! I was just looking at your… I mean… the mark! On your chest!

Ana laughed loudly, obviously just making fun of Yuri. She struggled to calm down as tears streamed from laughing so hard.

— I know, I know. Relax! — she said, placing her hand on his shoulder. — It's the scar, right?

Yuri finally relaxed.

— I volunteered to participate in a study on a new transplant technique a little over a year ago — she explained, pointing to the center of the scar. — The recovery was long, but now…

She smiled, proud.

— …I'm officially cured.

Since birth, Ana lived with severe congenital heart disease.

That's how Yuri always remembered her.

Hearing this, surprise manifested first, and the thought only came third, this time.

Before it—

Something much lighter.

As if the air had finally returned to his lungs.

— Ana… finally… — he murmured, a wide smile spreading without him realizing.

Ana noticed.

She saw his smile.

And she knew that was the perfect moment to continue the good news.

— And the best part… — she said, excited. — Now I can have my own list of dreams!

But the simple mention of a dream list made Yuri's smile falter.

As a child, Yuri had a huge list of everything he wanted to be when he grew up.

Today, he could only see it as a list of failures.

Inventor.
Painter.
Astronaut.
Singer.
Filmmaker.
Teacher.
Firefighter.
Writer.
Pilot.

These were just some of the dreams that had passed through that list. Not to mention the things he wanted to have, the places he dreamed of visiting, and everything he planned to do one day.

— How many items on your list have you managed to accomplish? — Ana asked, excited, without noticing the change in his face.

— Ah… actually… — Yuri hesitated for a moment.
— I just… — he searched for the right word.

But reality escaped before he found it.

— I gave up.

Ana's expression turned confused.

— Huh, but why?

The confusion on her face immediately reminded Yuri why Ana knew his dream list so well.

In primary school, the two were already very close.

She always stayed nearby while he wrote the list.
Observed in silence.
Listened carefully as he explained, full of excitement, how he intended to accomplish each of those dreams.

And she was always with him when Yuri played make-believe.
He never left her out.

He always included her while they enacted those imaginary futures.

— Yuri! How many more times do I have to repeat this? — this phrase almost always interrupted the games. — Ana is sick. You can't keep dragging her around!

It was what someone always said.
A teacher.
Or some other adult.

And along with the phrase came the scene that Yuri also remembered very well.

Because of her heart problem, Ana was almost always subdued.
Even when she seemed to be having fun, she quickly became breathless.
With chest pains.
Pale.

Still…

She seemed happier participating than when she was left out.

At least back then.

— It's past time for you to grow up and be a little more responsible, don't you think? — that was the phrase that echoed most in Yuri's memory.

And maybe…

Maybe that person was right.

That was one of the reasons Yuri decided to leave his dreams behind and focus on reality.

Now, he believed that the time for all that had passed.

— I… grew up — Yuri replied, looking at Ana.

With the answer, even though it was exactly what he wanted to say, Yuri couldn't hide his own disappointment.

Ana noticed.

And Yuri noticed too.

But, as he prepared for more questions — the kind he definitely didn't want to answer — Ana's tone completely shattered that expectation.

— You? Grew up? — she asked, with an exaggerated look of mockery.

— …Yes? — Yuri replied, confused, trying to figure out what she was getting at.

— Ooh, look at him, all grown up! — Ana said, imitating a child. She clasped her hands, closed her eyes, and made a dramatic pout. — Soon you'll be married, with lots of little kids, right?

"Married."

That single word pulled Yuri toward other memories.
More recent ones.

Walking through the campus corridors.
Green eyes.
Brown hair.
Gold hoop earrings.

That's what the simple mention of marriage brought to his mind.

But Yuri immediately banished that memory.

Now, that too should just be another one of the dreams he needed to leave behind.

And, even if he were about to get lost in that thought, he would be interrupted anyway.

A repetitive musical chime came from Ana's lab coat pocket.

Her cell phone.

She took it out, turned off the sound—an alarm—and stared at the screen for a moment.

— Oops… we'll have to postpone this grown-up talk — she said, putting the phone back in her pocket. — I already have some clients heading to the spa now.

She turned, already waving goodbye to Yuri with a smile.

— I'll talk to you later, okay? And… good to see you again, Yuri!

Ana headed toward the spa, leaving Yuri alone once more.

He watched her as she ran, full of energy.

— It's good to see you well too, Ana… — he murmured to himself, with a relieved smile.

Only then, finally, did he head to the reception.

It was already seven in the evening.

— Good evening. Have a wonderful stay! — Yuri said goodbye to the last guests after check-in.

Since that was the last service of the day, he decided to close the reception and head to his parents' house.

Unpack his suitcase.
Take a shower.
Tidy up the room for the days to come.

That was the plan.

— Damn boxes… stay put! — the voice came from the parking lot.

Yuri looked in the direction of the sound.

It was Ana, complaining alone as she tried to balance three boxes of tea on the back of an electric scooter.

On the way, Yuri approached Ana and greeted her casually.

— Hey, Ana. Good evening.

She turned around slowly.

— …Is everything okay? — Yuri asked, cautiously.

The look she gave him was frightening.
Grumpy.
Full of accumulated hatred.

— I’m going to set this junk on fire! — she blurted out, without any filter.

She had been struggling with those boxes for quite some time.

— If these shit boxes don't stay in place… — Ana continued grumbling.

— Just that? — the lack of seriousness of the situation was almost funny.
— …Do you want help? — he completed, still with a somewhat tired expression.

— Seriously? Yes! Thank you! — she replied instantly.

The change was instantaneous.
From grumpy to cute.
Like a spoiled child who just got exactly what they wanted.

Deep down, Yuri was amused by Ana's silly behavior.
It seemed like a good sign. A strange, but sincere, way to rekindle the old friendship.

She stacked the three boxes, one on top of the other.

— I need to take this to the little town center — she said, placing everything in Yuri's arms.

Ana got on the scooter and started it.

Yuri stood watching.

And as soon as he understood what she was suggesting, he almost regretted offering help.

— Get on the back. Facing away from me — she said, with the utmost casualness. — We'll be there quickly.

Even worried, Yuri did exactly as she asked, sitting on the back, back to back with Ana.

Before he had time to prepare, Ana sped off with the scooter toward the resort gate. She took a sharp turn and entered the highway, heading for the city.

The speed was much faster than Yuri expected.

He struggled against every curve Ana made, trying at the same time to stay on the scooter and prevent the boxes from slipping from his lap.

— Slow down! — he shouted, asking her to reduce speed.

But Ana didn't care.
On the contrary.

She seemed to be having fun.

— Hold on tight! — she replied, accelerating even more.

— Hold on to what, Ana?! The boxes?! — Yuri retorted, almost losing his balance.

— To the hand of God! — Ana replied, laughing heartily.

The scooter crossed the bridge that led to the town center, where tourists usually spent their vacation nights after long days at the beach.

After proceeding a little more carefully through less busy streets, Ana stopped the scooter in front of a plot of land squeezed between a closed grocery store and a corner house.

As soon as she fully parked, Yuri practically jumped off the back.

— I… I should sue whoever invented this damn scooter!

Ana continued laughing as she got off and opened the small trunk in front of the handlebars, taking a bunch of keys out.

— Come on, relax — she said, walking up to a makeshift gate, made of galvanized steel tiles. — A little adrenaline is good for the heart.

Still somewhat irritated, Yuri looked around. And, little by little, the annoyance gave way to curiosity.

— Okay… and where exactly are we? — he approached Ana, who had just unlocked the gate. — And what's in these boxes?

— I already told you — Ana replied, pushing the gate open. It didn't open all the way, just enough for them to pass. — Shit.

— … Huh?

— Its fertilizer — she completed, stepping inside. — Bring it to me, please.

Yuri followed right behind her, carrying the boxes.

— And why do you need fertiliz—

The question died halfway.

As soon as he crossed the gate enough to see the interior of the plot.

At the back of the plot, where Ana was walking, a small makeshift shed occupied the left corner.

In the center, next to it, was a simple table. On it, a few empty clay pots stacked, next to branches with buds still closed. Below, wooden boxes held small plastic cups — those for coffee — full of soil, from which timid leaves sprouted.

And, to the right, some small and medium branches were sprouting directly from the ground, in an area delimited by stakes driven into the earth.

— Welcome to the garden of my dreams — Ana told Yuri. — You can put the boxes on the table.

Yuri walked almost automatically, following in the same direction as her.

— Garden?

He reached her and placed the three boxes on the table, as she had asked.

— In progress — Ana replied, shrugging. — The land belongs to my grandma. But she let me use it for now.

At the table, Ana opened one of the boxes and took out a bag of soil mixed with fertilizer.

With a small shovel, she tore open the bag and began to fill one of the empty pots with soil.

— But, when I can, I want to buy it and use it as the official garden for my flower shop.

Hearing this, a childhood memory immediately flashed in Yuri's head.
One he was sure he wasn't confusing.

— Wait… — he said, frowning. — Didn't you hate flowers when we were little?

— Actually… no — Ana replied, more contained. Her tone became soft, almost fragile. — I hated loving flowers.

She continued working the soil as she spoke.

— When I was a child, I spent a lot of time in hospitals. And whenever I was admitted, people brought me flowers.

Yuri listened in silence, trying to follow what she meant.

— Over time, it didn't take me long to connect the dots… — her tone became lower, more melancholic.

Ana paused briefly.

— In the severe patients ward, it was common for me to wake up in the middle of the night and see the bed next to me empty. Only the flowers were still there, on the bedside table.

She swallowed hard, but continued.

— From the corridor came sobs… crying… a quick commotion. And after that… silence.
— In the end, only the flowers remained. Wilting slowly. Until someone else occupied that spot.

— "How long until I leave my flowers behind?"

That’s all I thought about after a while. But, during the surgery, something changed.

— I don’t know if it was the anesthesia or something else — she continued. — But that day I had a dream… or maybe something more than a dream.

— I was in a huge garden, surrounded by white lilies as far as the eye could see.

— At that moment, I felt no resentment. I was happy. Happier than ever — she smiled slightly as she spoke. — All I felt was a desire to continue being happy like this, forever.

— When I woke up, I was already in the infirmary room — Ana said, finally shifting her gaze from the pot and returning her attention to Yuri.

He was still there, in silence.

What could he say, after all? Until a few minutes ago, Yuri had no idea that Ana carried such feelings.

— …And then, I remembered you.

Yuri's silence became even more evident.
Or maybe it was exactly the opposite — hard to say.

His confused expression soon gave way to surprise.

Why, in a moment like that, would she have thought of him?

— Even after the doctors said everything went well, it still took a while until I truly believed — Ana said, holding the pot she was working on. — But, when I finally got used to the idea… I realized I was free. Free to live.

With a few steps, she stood face to face with Yuri.

— I could finally have my own dreams. Without fear of them being interrupted by hospitalizations, or… —

Even without saying a word for a long time, everything Ana said since they arrived at the garden seemed to tear Yuri apart inside.

He always worried about her. Always.
Throughout his childhood and adolescence, Ana was his best friend.

So how had he never thought she might feel this way?

Of course, she would have feelings like this.

Another weight accumulated inside him, adding to the negative self-image that made him give up on his own dreams.

"As always…" — he thought.
"The same selfishness as always."

The surrounding lights began to stretch, turning into blurred stars, as Yuri's vision unfocused.

Tears gathered in his eyes, appearing without him realizing.

— I don’t know exactly what happened — Ana continued. — But, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t even know how to…

She took a deep breath before completing:

— It was you who taught me to dream.

The tears finally overflowed from Yuri's eyes.

Ana's words weren't the only cause.
They were the trigger.

Like a hook, pulling everything he had worked so hard to bury in the last few months back to the surface.
Everything that culminated on that day.

— So… I want you to take care of this.

Ana spoke as she carefully pressed the pot — with a small, newly planted bud — against Yuri's chest.

— I'm leaving this part of my dream with you — Ana said, smiling gently, in contrast to Yuri's sobs. — Until you can dream your own dreams again, you can be part of mine.

Yuri received the pot in his hands.
His vision was already completely blurred by tears.

No word could find a coherent path to his mouth.

Instinctively, Yuri hugged the pot, as if it kept him anchored to a slightly more bearable reality than the one he had been carrying.

Even small, the pot seemed large in his hands.
Almost as if it were little Yuri — the one who wrote lists of dreams and played with Ana — who was holding it.

— Thank you, Ana… — were the first words that managed to come out.

His hug of the pot became even tighter.
More shaky.

— I will.

Ana gave Yuri space and returned to what she had gone to do in the garden, always making conversation, asking for help here and there, trying to cheer him up in her own way. Forty minutes later, they were back at the resort gate.

— Thanks for the help, Yuri — Ana said goodbye, already starting the scooter. — See you tomorrow!

Yuri waved, watching as she drove away on the highway.

Even with some guests returning to the resort after enjoying the night in the city, the silence still managed to assert itself.

Slowly, Yuri returned to walking along the tree-lined path. This time, he carried the pot Ana had given him in his hands.

But the walk had a different taste.

More bitter.

If giving up had seemed comfortable in the morning, now, after the time with Ana, everything sounded wrong.

Why couldn't he just be happy for her?
This thought repeated in his mind.

It wasn't that he wasn't happy. He was.
But, at the same time, it seemed like the six months he spent preparing to make that decision had completely lost meaning in less than an hour.

It was so different from how he felt that morning.

Why did it hurt so much now?

He was sure of what he was doing.
He no longer wanted to be a burden on his parents.

But the conversation with Ana made something clear.

Giving up had become unbearably uncomfortable.

Already at his parents' house, Yuri went up the stairs to the second floor, where his room was. He couldn't even cling to the nostalgic feeling that place should bring.

— I envy you, Ana… — he murmured.

— I'm still selfish — he said to himself, upon entering the room.

His suitcase was on the bed.
Posters still covered the walls.
Some old toys continued to gather dust on top of the wardrobe.

All of that only made the tightness inside him grow.

For the second time that day, his eyes filled with tears.

Yuri placed the pot on the dresser. Staring at it, the conversation with Ana returned fully to his mind, weighing on his body as something impossible to ignore.

Silent tears dripped onto the small lily bud as he leaned on the dresser, hunched over.

Alone, it made no sense to try to deny or lie.

— I wanted to have the same thing as you, Ana… — sobs cut the sentence. — I also…

His voice failed.

— I also want to dream of lilies.