Bravery

Kit had never been good with losing things. Since losing Haruki, she’d done many things to get past that, and I was so proud of her for that. First, she’d been keeping her promise to him by telling his stories, tales which often ended with Haruki being the hero living happily ever after. But there was no cheery ending as we laid him to rest.

After a while, Kit decided to grow her friend group, scaring the shit out of random soldiers by making herself present to them with less than no warning. I could have stopped her from damaging the ego of all those people, but I had my hands full keeping Kyouko and Shuto from killing each other.

I must have been a moron because I thought they would settle their differences while we searched for solutions to our predicament. Since that first debacle two days ago, however, they’d only gotten more intense. To be fair, Shuto had at least backed down a little after our chat, but his ass was still egging on Kyouko every chance he got. It was an obligation for him, like teasing Naoki was for me. I wished they would take a leaf out of Kit’s book and try to be friendly, but who was I to expect adults to act their age?

At the very least, Kit’s new friends kept her spirits up, so I didn’t mind that everyone in our troop knew she existed. Her floating around them helped keep their spirits up as things became more dire. Though we’d had a lot of food from the Orange Crashout, it wasn’t going to keep much longer.

Kyouko had been using her ability to scout new areas left and right. I’d tried to stop her for a while, but the expression on her face told me everything. No matter how tiring it was for her, no matter how fruitless it seemed, she had to try. That was how she was coping with Haruki’s death.

It was strange how an average soldier could become a local celebrity overnight. Everywhere I went, his name could be heard. When his eyes had seen the Searcher’s blade soaring towards Kyouko, he hadn’t hesitated. Some versions had him as having killed the enemy with one hand—Shuto didn’t like that version. His fire control was so good he could shoot flames like a gun, which was apparently impressive. As someone with infinite water guns, that wasn’t as fantastical as they seemed to know it as.

We’d thought water would be as much of a problem as food, but there were several areas with it. We took turns going in pairs to get it, with me getting either Shuto and Kyouko as mine. I’d made the mistake of letting them go together once, and they came back with water, alright, but both of them got drenched in the process. That was what had led me and Kyouko to be a pair for this trip.

I stared at the beautiful pond, the water smiling back at me. The smell of nature graced my nose, reminding me of better days: Naoki and I running through the woods, toys in hand. My grandfather yelled at us to slow down, and like one unit, we both froze, inertia making us both fall into a tree root.

Talking about him had the ache hurting less, but it didn’t make the stress fade. When he’d been diagnosed, I’d been so distracted that Naoki’d had to close the toy store for weeks. I’d been so young—maybe twenty-three?---and my bubble of ‘okay’ had shattered like stardust in the sky. Even before his passing, I was on autopilot; going through the motions. If I’d known that would hurt my Kitsune so much, I’d have done anything to stop myself. Reminiscing didn’t make the guilt go away, but maybe it could help another’s sorrow.

“Kyouko,” I started gently, “How’re you doing?”

She rolled her eyes with false sass. “I’m fine, toy boy.”

“You been sleeping okay?”

“If Shuto could snore quieter, I’d be sleeping like a baby.” She sighed wistfully. “That big idiot.”

That was a load of bullshit. I’d heard her twisting and turning every damn night. Even Kit had noticed Kyouko’s suffering, and she slept deeper than the dead. Granted, I wasn’t sleeping well, either. Whenever I closed my eyes, I could see the bodies falling around me, the scenery bathed in orange. In my nightmares, I was unable to do—to make anything. Then, as the chaos finally starts to abate, I would look to my side where Kitsune should be, and she’d be gone. Every time, I would walk over to the spot where I’d just seen her, and my hands would start shaking. Then I would wake up, cuddling my precious Kitsune just a little bit closer.

“You know he just wants you safe, right?”

“Of course I do,” she sighed. “But he’s being really stupid about it. Running head-first into the action won’t help anything.”

I was really tired of this ‘let’s be careful’ from her of all people. Before all this, she’d been the first to put herself at risk, even when it wasn’t for training. This other troop had been giving us side-eyes for a while like we were in primary school or something. I guess I kind of looked the part with my colorful trinkets, but even five-year-olds were more mature than them. But they’d stopped looking at us when Kyouko had enough of them. I never knew what she’d done, but I’d admired her tenacity in stopping bullshit in its tracks.

“I don’t get it,” I said, making sure to be gentle. “You were all for the aggressive route. Did Haruki’s... passing truly hit you that hard?”

Her eyes met the sky as she blinked rapidly. “I was an idiot.”

I waited, surprised she was actually going to talk to me. Every other attempt had failed, but I guess even the fiercest of fighters needed a shoulder to cry on.

“I was a bit of a wildcard as a kid,” she started.

“No, really?”

“Shut up, playboy,” she scoffed. “It always seemed like people were so careful with shit. My mom would come home from work and just cry with how they treated her, but she never did anything about it because she thought they’d fire her. And my dad got his parents’ old house when they died. You know, one of those run-down ones?”

“Ouch,” I said.

While Japan was known for its beauty, the houses didn’t always reflect that. Many places were unkept to the point where repairs cost a fortune. So many people just let the places fade away, that way they didn’t have to pay to tend to it. But if someone got one as an inheritance, it became their responsibility to take care of it—clean it, fix it, sell it, if they were lucky. For some, the cheapest thing to do was to have it destroyed, though that still cost a shit ton of money. Because of this, many folks preferred to get nothing at all.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Well, I got to see the place before they did anything to it, and it looked fine! I mean, it would have taken a while, but we totally could have fixed it up. But my dad didn’t want to risk anything going wrong, so we coughed up the money to destroy it.”

That kind of wasted potential is what the Taihen Advocates had once stood to stop. Back when they’d first started, they were a non-profit group. Every weekend, I would walk around and see them saving one place after another, and it was truly marvelous—conjurers making tools for repair, Fibermentals blooming flowers around the yard. Once things changed, I used to think if me liking that sort of thing made me like them, but I wasn’t the one who bombed a fucking building because ‘change’ was ‘necessary’ or disrespected fruit by shooting it out like a goddamn rocket ship. It ticked me off the more I thought about it.

“When I saw what that had done to my parents, I thought they were fucking idiots. My dad could have kept a house filled with memories of his past, and my mom was talented! She could have found a new job before telling those assholes where to shove it. Even once people began really protesting it all, she didn’t budge.”

I think that was around when things changed with the Advocates. Their renovations were beautiful, but they weren’t getting very far, so they moved to another project. They began speaking out against bad work environments and such, but they weren’t being patient now. I remembered seeing one member physically going after my boss, of all people, and I knew things had gone downhill. If Naoki hadn’t held me back, I might have gone to prison that day.

“So I thought taking chances was the way to go,” she finished.

I expected more, but she just leaned back, staring at the sunny sky. I revelled in the quiet. Kit was back with her friends—with the water so close, I didn’t need her right next to me. I felt a little ache, which meant the guilt was coming back. If I hadn’t been so… empathetic, I never would have wanted to volunteer, and Kitsune wouldn’t have had to come with me. The void grew deeper as I thought about her sadness losing her friend. I couldn’t bear the idea that I was the reason she’d had to see that. Forces, why was I so empty, right now? Kitsune was safe at the base. She—

“RIKU!!!” came a voice.

Shuto burst through the trees, Aven of the Menders hot on his heels. They both looked harried: clothes unkempt, eyes wild. Had the Advocates attacked again? But why would they need me, specifically? Unless something else was wrong, an issue that had to do with me, or—

“Kitsune’s gone!”

No.

It only took a little while before she started feeling ill. Her poor stomach would feel really bad, and she’d puke up all the oranges she’d been eating so happily. Why did she leave knowing that, unless there hadn’t been a choice? Had my guilt pushed her to fade away again?! Over and over, I saw my fingers passing through her and I knew my Kitsune was—

“Someone took her!” Shuto was saying.

“Who?” Kyouko demanded.

“One of the Fibermentals,” Aven said, “she and Kit walked off to look at flowers an hour ago. When we checked, there was a circle of nothing, just like what Kyouko said was left after we were brought here.”

NO!

Rage clouded my vision. How dare they take my Kitsune? I was going to shove sand in their mouth, make them choke on the small parts of a fucking toy car. They wouldn’t be able to move if I crushed them with a marble, and, to top it all off, I could bring out bouncy balls to...

“Riku, where are you going?” Kyouko asked, sounding scared. Why would she be scared?

“To get my Kitsune back.”

“But. . .”

No wannabe rebels were going to take my Kitsune away. I was going to destroy them, one toy at a time.