A Talk in the Moonlight

As I lay down in my bed, I looked at my right arm. Why is it still glowing? Takeda said it might go away if I slept, but it didn’t. Did the Yuki-onna do something? Maybe… It did start acting like this after she said Shuten-Doji.

When I thought about that name, I could feel the mana in my arm increase. As it grew, so did the pain I felt. Its color began to flicker between scarlet and crimson, and that was when the pain was truly unbearable. “Arrgh!” I need… to release it!

I limped my way over to the room’s balcony. When I made it, I slumped my arms over the railing as I rested my chin on it. I can’t… take it anymore. I struggled to raise my arm, but when I finally did, it was pointing toward the moon.

“Release!” After I said that word, a brilliant crimson light was expelled from my right hand. As it was being emitted, I could feel the pain leaving my arm. “So much better.” But before my arm was done, I heard a knock at the door.

“S-Shin, can I come in? I have something I need to ask you.” The voice belonged to Yukimura. I’d love to let you in, but why did it have to be now? Arm, hurry up! The light continued to exit my arm, but it lessened with every passing second. “Are you not awake? It makes sense that he isn’t; it’s two in the morning.”

“N-No, I’m awake. Just give me a few seconds.”

“It’s fine, you don’t need to wake up. I can just ask you in the morning.” Arm, you better calm down, or I swear—

When I thought that, the light stopped and so did the pain, but the scarlet glow remained. Finally! I’m coming, Yukimura.

“I’m coming!” I said as I raced from the balcony to open the door. Please don’t be gone. I was glad to see she wasn’t. Her body was mid-turn to walk away, but she didn’t leave yet. “You needed something?” I was panting, but I didn’t care; Yukimura needed me for something.

“Yes. I wanted to talk to you, in private.” I could feel my face burn up when she said that. In private? What would she want to talk to me in private about? It couldn’t be… a confession, right? No, surely not.

“Sure, come in.”

Then, when she walked in, Yukimura asked, “Can we talk on the balcony?” Now, I wasn’t so sure. What if it is a confession? I know I don’t look the best right now, but I’d be a fool to let this opportunity pass me by.

I followed her out onto my balcony, and when I did, I saw a goddess. Her hair danced in the night’s breeze, and her face glistened as the moonlight beamed on her. As I stared at her, Yukimura pursed her lips. My heartbeat continued to spike with every second of silence until she finally spoke.

“Shin, I…” The moonlight? Pursed lips? Is she actually confessing? “Talked with the Yuki-onna last night, and she tried to have me make a pact. Because she’s in my sword now, and she can control the mana in it, I think. So, if I kill any yokai, I won’t be able to use my sword. But if I can’t use my sword, I won’t be able to kill yokai. And if I can’t kill yokai, I can’t work properly as an Onmyoji.”

“Come again.” It wasn’t a confession.

“I talked with the—”

“No, I didn’t mean to repeat what you said. Can you simplify it instead?”

“The Yuki-onna spoke with me in my dreams, and wants me to stop killing yokai.”

“But you can’t because you’re an Onmyoji?”

“Yes. And now I don’t know what to do.” Yukimura said as she slumped her head on top of the balcony’s railing. When she did, I joined her.

“I mean… You can stop being an Onmyoji.”

“Huh?” She turned to me after I said that, and I could see her eyes widening. “Are you crazy? I can’t quit being an Onmyoji.”

“Why not? You can be a normal high schooler like I was until a week ago.”

“Because I’ve been an Onmyoji for ten years.”

“Is that your only reason for being an Onmyoji? If it is, then—”

“No!”

“Then what’s the other reason?”

“Because…” Yukimura’s voice started to grow shaky. “I… s-s…” s-s? “Save… people.” She said those words in such a low tone that I couldn’t even hear her, so I leaned a bit closer.

“What did you say?”

“I saved people!” Yukimura suddenly shouted. I looked at her when she did, but she turned her head so as not look at me. However, before she could fully turn, I saw her blush on her left cheek. And when I saw that reaction, I couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “What’s so funny?”

“N-Nothing.”

“I can leave if you’re just going to laugh at me.” I covered my mouth with my hand as she stood up to leave. After she took the first step, I grabbed her right hand with my free one.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh. I just wasn’t expecting that answer from you.”

“Then what did you think I was going to say?”

“Something I wouldn’t understand. But if you don’t mind, can you tell me about the people you saved?”

“W-W-Well… it was only one?”

“You saved one person before?” Is she talking about that time?

“Yes. Would you still like to hear it?”

“Of course I do.”

As she cleared her throat, I stared at her with anticipation. “Well, then… It was back in elementary school after Takeda had taken me in. It was during my first year training as an Onmyoji, but I was allowed to have my sword talisman on my person for self-defense. And I’m glad I did because sometime in some season—”

“Was it spring?”

“Yes. In the spring, I felt the presence of a yokai within the elementary school.”

“Which one was it?”

“It was the Aka manto…” Oh, that’s what its name was. “It was a tall man-like yokai in a red cloak. It appears in front of the used stalls that have no toilet paper. Then, the Aka manto asks the victim whether they want a type of toilet paper before killing them. And in that moment, he was asking a boy in the boys’ bathroom if he wanted red or blue toilet paper. And then—”

“The boy said red, but right before the Aka manto was able to cut off the boy’s skin, you rushed in and were able to cut down the yokai.” I didn’t mean to finish her story.

“Right… Wait, how did you know that, Shin? I never told you that before.” Yukimura was now staring at me deeply, as if she were studying me.

“Lucky guess?” I tried to brush it off, but she wouldn’t let me.

“No, that didn’t seem like a guess at all. Were you there that day? Are you the boy that I saved?”

I gulped before I revealed, “Yes, I am.” I expected to see a surprised face or her asking a question, but she did neither. After hearing my answer, Yukimura laughed. She continued for a few seconds before looking at the Kyoto streets below us.

“I can’t believe the one person I saved is the one with a Kishin inside of them.” Yukimura went silent for a few seconds before saying, “Sorry, Shin, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” And to those words, I only shook my head.

“No, it’s fine. I only have one question: Do you regret saving me because I have a yokai inside of me?”

“Of course not. Because I saved you, I know what I’m fighting for now. I’m fighting for the peace of the regular people in Japan. It’s for them that I became an Onmyoji.” When she gave that answer, I let out some laughter as well.

“Why are you laughing, Shin?”

“Because I can’t believe the answer is so simple.”

“The answer to what?”

“To your Yuki-onna problem. If you can’t kill yokai anymore, then just become an Onmyoji who doesn’t kill.” I could feel her eyes digging into me as I stared at the moon and the stars in the night sky.

“I-Is that even possible? It’s our duty to kill yokai.”

“No. You just said your reason for being an Onmyoji is to save people, not kill yokai. And to save others, you don’t need to kill.”

After I suggested that, silence began to fill the balcony. Neither of us spoke in this moment; we were too busy gazing at the stars. I could feel my eyes start to droop, but they suddenly widened once I felt a weight on my shoulder.

I wanted to look down, but Yukimura said, “Don’t you dare look down right now.” I didn’t say anything, I only nodded. Is she resting her head on my shoulder? I wanna look so bad. But she said not to look, but I need to… Maybe a little peek is fine.

When I shifted my gaze downward, sure enough, I saw it. I saw her hair spread on my shoulder. I knew I could feel something warm, but I needed to see it to believe it. And I could feel her warmth spreading throughout my body; that’s the only reason why my face could feel so hot.

Without saying anything, I looked up at the stars. So she’s actually resting her head on my shoulder? I’ve come so far. And underneath a full moon, too? If it’s like this, I might be able to finish it. What I couldn’t do weeks ago. Here goes nothing…

“H-H-Hey, Yukimura—”

“You can call me Suki when it is just the two of us.” Her given name? It wasn’t just my face burning now. My heart began to beat out of control.

“O-okay, then, S-S-S-Suki… t-tomorrow… can we go on a—”

Date. That was the word I was trying to say, but before I could stutter it out, I was interrupted by a knock on the door.