Photo of an Open Heart

“Huh…”

A sigh escaped me, as I gazed at my familiar dirty ceiling. There was something profoundly boring about having nothing to do on a weekday evening. Especially so if you had just got into a fight with someone.

Someone? More like an idol. Who’s a… friend.

Yeah, the situation was complicated. Which was probably the reason why I couldn’t concentrate long enough to do anything.

“Okay!” I jumped out of my bed as if I had just regained my lost vigor. Spoiler: I hadn’t. But I couldn’t sit around mopping either.

Didn’t Takamine-sensei warn us of a pop quiz tomorrow?

I guess revision was in order. Right as I unzipped by bag–

DING

The doorbell rung.

Right when I was about to be productive… who could that be?

I didn’t order anything, and I wasn’t expecting anyone. I swear if this is my mom coming unannounced to see if I keep the place tidy I’ll–

I opened the door anyway.

Just outside was a short girl with a small frame, looking up at me. She a cap on dangerously close to her eyes and a surgical mask.

If I’m being robbed I’d rather it be from her…

I snapped back into reality and smiled.

“Ah—sorry, wrong apartment, miss—”

The girl standing there lowered her mask just enough for me to see a familiar face.

There was no way!

“Rin-san?!”

My voice came out in a hiss before my brain caught up. Instinct took over. I looked left and right and then grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside, slamming the door shut behind us like some secret ops veteran.

“Are you insane?” I whispered, already scanning the corridor through the peephole. “You can’t just—what if someone—”

“It’s okay, Hajime-san! I’m wearing a disguise.” she said quietly, giving a winner’s thumbs up.

I turned around.

She was standing there in a loose beige hoodie that swallowed her frame, jeans, sneakers, hat, mask. No makeup. No stylist. No entourage. Just Rin. Or… something closer to her than I’d ever seen.

“That’s not a disguise,” I sighed. “That’s just... hoping for the best.”

She blinked. “…Oh. You think?”

For a second, neither of us spoke. Then a chuckle escaped me. Ignorance is bliss.

Then I noticed how tightly she was gripping the hem of her hoodie.

“So,” I said slowly, lowering my voice. “Why are you at my door like a ninja?”

She hesitated.

“I was… in the neighborhood.”

I stared at her.

She stared back. She coughed. It was fake.

“…Rin-san,” I said flatly.

Her shoulders sagged. “Okay… That was a lie.”

I exhaled and stepped aside. “No matter, take your shoes off and come inside if you want. I don’t have much to offer though besides some instant ramen.”

She slipped her shoes off awkwardly, glancing around like she’d stepped into a foreign country.

My apartment wasn’t anything special. No stage lights. No mirrors. Just quiet and untidiness. Rin took it in slowly.

“This is…” she began.

“Small,” I supplied.

“…warm,” she finished.

That surprised me.

She sat down carefully in front of the coffee table, hands folded in her lap like she was afraid to disturb the space. I poured water into two glasses and handed her one.

She accepted it with both hands.

“Thank you.”

We sat in silence for a moment.

“So… is everything okay?” I ventured, “Did they kick you out or something?”

Then she spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

Simple. No excuses. No idol polish.

I looked at her.

“For what?” I asked, even though I knew.

“For today. For… what I said.” Her voice wavered just slightly. “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I was frustrated. And… I took it out on you.”

I leaned back against the counter.

“You didn’t say anything untrue,” I replied. “You were just… hurt.”

She looked up sharply.

“You noticed?”

I gave a small shrug. “I work with expressions.”

That earned a quiet, humorless laugh.

“I don’t know why I snapped,” she said. “I just—everything felt heavier than it should have. And when you tried to help, it felt like… I was being seen when I wasn’t ready.”

Her fingers curled into the fabric of her sleeve.

“I didn’t want you to look disappointed in me.”

That hit harder than I expected.

“I wasn’t disappointed in you,” I said. “I was just worried.”

She swallowed.

“I’ve never been good at friendships,” she admitted softly. “I read that friends talk things out. So I thought… I should say sorry properly.”

I tilted my head, grinning at that endearing piece of information.

“You came all the way here just for that?”

She nodded. Then, quieter—

“I read that friends do that.”

Something in my chest eased.

“You read it… where exactly?”

“Doogle.” She replied, somewhat embarrassed.

She was so anxious about what happened between us that… she doogled how to make up?

That was absurdly adorable. I couldn’t even be mad at her at this point.

“Well,” I said, offering a faint smile, “what you read on doogle is true… friends do that, Rin-san. So thank you for coming here.”

I gave her the best smile I could muster.

She relaxed, just a little.

Then she bowed even more deeply.

“I’m so sorry Hajime-san…! When Yoru-san talked to you so casually… I felt strange. I didn’t like that feeling. But… I also couldn’t stop it.”

“You mean…”

“I kept telling myself I wasn’t allowed to feel bothered. That this wasn’t something I should care about. But the more I told myself that… the worse it felt.”

“Rin-san, wait–”

“I don’t like the version of myself that came out today!” She was talking faster now, probably faster than her rationale could catch up to her, “But I think that version appeared because… you matter more than I expected.”

I… matter to her more than she expected?

“Is it normal… to feel uneasy when a friend seems closer to someone else?”

That last one hit me like a punch to the jaw. Her innocence paired with her honesty was a one two combo that almost knocked me flat on my back.

Her cheeks turned redder by the second, probably realising everything she had just said.

She did, after all, admit… to being jealous for my sake?

What was one even supposed to say in this situation?

I took a deep breath and mentally recalibrated my brain.

“Uh, Rin-san…”

“Yesh?!” She yelped, clearly self-conscious after all.

“Thank you.” I smiled at her.

“T-Thank you…? For what?” She replied timidly.

“For being honest with me and apologizing. It must have been hard for you, right?”

“It was… at first.” She admitted, “But then it wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t?”

“You’re extremely easy to talk to, Hajime-san…” Her words trailed off, smiling to herself, “I blurt out things I normally shouldn’t around you.”

“...” For a second, words failed me.

That was an arrow straight to the heart.

“I… uh… thanks, I guess?” My face was probably as red as hers by now. I tried to shake off the embarrassment, and sat down across from her.

I cleared my throat, steadying my voice.

“Rin-san," I started, "I’m really proud of how honest you’ve become. It suits you.” I smiled.

“B-But… I…” She blushed, “That’s because of you… Hajime-san.”

The silence that came after her words was the kind of warm, tranquil one that settled right onto my chest. My brain really drew a blank at this point. This extremely hard-working girl, who had reached the top of her industry through sheer brilliance and unwavering resolve alone was here in my apartment, spilling her feelings to me with no restraint. The same girl who had grown up learning to be perfect, by-the-book and never stray from her “safe” lines. That same Rin Tsukishiro chose to be vulnerable around me more than once.

“So…” She broke the silence, “Am I forgiven?”

I laughed at that.

“H-Hey I’m serious…” She puffed her cheeks.

“Of course, Rin-san…” I composed myself, “You are. Friends forgive each other.”

“Friends…” She smiled at me. It seemed as if a shadow had been lifted from her face for the first time since stepping in.

Her gaze drifted around the room again — to the camera cases, the scribbled notes taped to the wall, the half-drunk mug of coffee on the desk.

“This is your world, Hajime-san…” she murmured.

“I guess,” I said. “It’s not very glamorous, though.”

She shook her head. “No, but… It’s honest.”

That word again. She must really like using it, huh?

We sat there, not touching, not rushing. The silence wasn’t awkward anymore — it felt earned.

“I should go,” she said eventually, standing.

I walked her to the door.

She hesitated, hand on the knob, then looked back at me.

“Hajime-san?”

“Yeah?”

“…Thank you. For today. For before. For not leaving.”

I smiled. “I’m not planning to.”

She nodded with a beaming smile, pulled her mask back up, and slipped out into the night.

“Be careful you don’t trip any alarms with that inconspicuous attire.” I said.

“No worries.” She said in a broken english accent. and gave another confident thumbs up.

The door closed softly behind her.

For a long moment, I just stood there, staring at the empty hallway.

Somehow, my apartment felt brighter. Not because a light was on.

But because someone had chosen to step into it.

Rin Tsukishiro came all this way to reaffirm her friendship with me. To tell me she didn’t like me looking friendly with another idol. To tell me… I make her talk more openly.

If this wasn’t a heart throb moment then… what was?

“Man…”

I looked towards my notes. Now I couldn’t concentrate for a whole new reason.