Our Secret

I come back to consciousness slowly. In pieces.
My eyes burn; I can’t open them yet. My throat hurts. Every breath takes a little more effort than it should.
There are smells. Something old, stored away for years. Something herbal, distant. And… whiskey?
Why do I smell whiskey?
I try to move and realize I’m lying on something soft. Too soft. The touch is so gentle it scares me for a moment.
I don’t remember ever being in a bed like this.It is a bed… right?
I finally open my eyes. This ceiling isn’t mine.
“You’re finally awake,” a voice says from somewhere nearby.
The voice is familiar. I don’t even need to sit up to know who it is.
I shift as best I can, propping myself against the massive wooden headboard.
“Lorcan…” I try to say.
The sound barely comes out. My throat burns, like it’s been scraped raw.
I see Lorcan sitting at the other end of the room, a glass of whiskey in his hand. I never expected to see him like that.
When he notices I’m awake, he moves immediately. He crosses the room without hurry and sits near the foot of the bed, keeping his distance.
“Don’t try to talk yet,” he says when he sees me force my voice. “Can you breathe?”
I nod silently. Every movement of my neck pulls, like my throat still resents me.
“Are you short of breath? Does your chest hurt?”
I shake my head. I swallow. Bad idea. I grit my teeth.
“Good,” he says, more to himself than to me. “That’s a good sign.”
He stays still for a moment, watching me with clinical focus. As if he’s looking for something only he can see.
“Do you remember anything?” he asks at last. “After the ice cream shop?”
I close my eyes. Fragmented images. Cold. Darkness. Crushing pressure… heat…
“The cold…” I murmur. “And then… you…”
He nods slowly.
He opens his mouth to say something else. Closes it. Then sighs.
“Elena,” he says. “I need to apologize.”
That makes me look straight at him.
“What I did,” he continues. “The way I stopped the possession. Suffocation isn’t… pleasant. But it was the only option left.”
I understand. If it kept me from becoming like that nurse, the pain was worth it. I nod.
Only now do I really look around. The room is enormous. Ancient. Too quiet.
“Where…?” My voice breaks. “Where are we?”
Lorcan hesitates, just barely.
“We’re at the Kestrel estate. It’s… my home.”
I blink and sit up more.
“Why…?”
“I brought you here because it was the only safe place,” he replies. “I couldn’t leave you on the street. And… I couldn’t let you go after all this.”
I watch him closely. He sounds… tired.
“Do you still… plan to erase me?”
Lorcan clenches his jaw.
“Yes. It’s an emergency wipe.”
The silence presses down.
“Why… the urgency?” I ask.
He leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees.
“Because we’ve known each other for two days,” he says, “and in that time something tried to possess you twice.”
I open my mouth to argue. There’s nothing to say. I close it again.
“Those are bad numbers, Elena.”
He doesn’t sound cruel. He sounds factual. Like a report he doesn’t want to file.
“Knowing what you know doesn’t protect you,” he continues. “It exposes you. Once you’re aware of them, without training, you become more visible. Easier to find.”
“I… didn’t ask to be visible…” I say weakly.
He looks like he’s swallowing glass.
“I know,” he says quietly. “You saw what happened to the nurse, then survived an attempted possession. You became a point of interest. An open window. And…” His fists tighten. “I won’t always be nearby.”
“But you were—”
He looks up. His eyes are hard.
“This time.”
I fall silent.
“I don’t want to forget,” I whisper.
Lorcan straightens. He’s already decided.
“I have to do it, Elena,” he says firmly. “It’s protocol. I know it’s not ideal, but—”
His tone is professional. Controlled. The voice of someone convincing himself as much as me.
While he talks, I stop listening. I’m evaluating my options.
Run? I don’t know where I am. I can barely speak—running is fantasy.Hit him and bolt? I shocked him in the neck with a stun gun and he didn’t flinch. Discarded.Scream? My voice won’t cooperate. And I don’t know if anyone would hear.Negotiate? He’s been talking about protocol all day. He won’t change now.
Is this it?Is forgetting my fate?
No.
I have one last move.
It’s risky. But maybe—
I lift my gaze and look straight at him.
“Does it hurt?” I ask softly.
Lorcan freezes. Hesitates.
“It… shouldn’t.”
I move closer, slowly. He doesn’t seem to notice, still lost in his reasoning.
“Elena, you need to listen to me,” he continues. “Once I start the process—”
“I understand,” I interrupt again. Without him noticing, I’m already beside him. “Then… I want to ask you something.”
He swallows, uneasy.
“What… what is it?”
I slide closer. Slowly. Deliberately. I rest my head carefully on his thigh, looking up at him.
Lorcan’s expression is priceless. His whole body tenses.
“Elena… what are you—”
“Shh,” I interrupt. “I want to be comfortable.”
His hands hover in the air, unsure where to go.
“If you’re going to erase my memories,” I continue with a faint smile, “at least let me enjoy you properly while I still can.”
He stares at me, stunned.
“Are you trying to… seduce me?”
“Is it working?”
“This is inappropriate.”
“I know.”
“Dangerous.”
“Also yes.”
“Irresponsible.”
“Definitely.”
He rolls his eyes.
“Elena, this isn’t—” He stops himself. “You’re confusing things.”
Silence. I let out a soft laugh and close my eyes.
“I’m not seducing you,” I say quietly. “I’m trying to survive with dignity.”
That breaks something. I actually see him lose his train of thought. He looks away.
“This isn’t fair,” he mutters. Then even lower, “I can’t make a decision like this when you’re looking at me.”
“I’m just a civilian against a mage. It’s the only way I can balance things out.”
His hand finally lowers, resting lightly on my head.
“Damn it…”
He pulls back and stands.
“Fine,” he says. “I won’t erase your memory. Not for your sake. Because you asked.”
I open one eye.
“You won’t?”
“We won’t do the emergency wipe,” he continues. “But we still need to decide what to do with you. For now, I’m filing paperwork for a professional memory specialist. Just in case.”
I look at him, confused.
“Professional?”
“It’s not my field. Professionals rewrite memories so you don’t notice the seams. Mental surgery. They remove trauma without scars.”
A shiver runs through me. Tempting. Terrifying. Then something clicks.
“And what you do is… blunt-force amnesia?”
“Like a hammer. You wouldn’t remember anything from the last two days.”
The relief tightens into a knot. Maybe I’m not safe yet.
“So what happens to me now?”
He meets my gaze.
“I won’t send you back somewhere demons can find you again,” he says. “Stay here tonight. Let me figure out what we do next.”
I exhale, exhausted. A small smile slips out.
“So… I just bought time?”
“No,” he replies. “You stole it.”
I close my eyes. It’s the best outcome I could hope for.
“Thank you, Lorcan.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” he says, heading for the door. “This is still our problem.”
“Our secret,” I correct.
Silence. Then a smile.
“Our secret,” he agrees.