Chapter 16: Bandits!

I slip out in front of the crowd leaving our last classes of the week and make a beeline for my dorm.

Aside from some points on the kingdom’s history, there isn’t much I’m learning. But it’s the first week of the first semester, it’ll pick up.

I have all weekend free, which means I’m going hunting, but first some shopping.

Fantasy worlds have lots of bandits, but I’ve only ever fought the one when I was a little kid. I’m hoping that changes in a bigger city and running around the forests and mountains here. Maybe there’s a human trafficking ring using the forests as a base to sneak into the city to kidnap children.

Or maybe there’s a cult, and they sneak away on the weekends to pray to ancient evil gods and monsters. OH OR maybe they try to kidnap the Princess and I can stop it.

Ehh if I do that last one she’ll definitely want to be friends, which is why I’m shopping, I need a good disguise. Magically lengthening my hair works ok and the color looks different when it’s long, but if someone sees my face everyday it won’t be enough. It’s time to dress up like my hero.

Once disguised I make my way to the nearest point of the kingdom’s east wall and throw some magic out to search for spectators. Nada. I put up my light refraction and jump over the wall, there’s a small patch of trees before the first mountain on my left, and a dirt road on my right before an expanse of rocky arid land.

I jump between the treetops then take to the sky until I reach the summit of the first mountain. From our vantage point at the academy we can’t see any mountains past the first, but there are some massive ones. There isn’t much forest between the first smaller mountain and the second much larger one so I skip the area entirely.

The view from the second mountain is great, it’s one of the tallest and there’s a massive forest area directly ahead of me. It’s so high I can see the western part of the capital behind me and kilometers of the road leading away from the city in the east.

This is nice, I’ll have to flatten a little area out for my house.

There’s a lot to do, but what comes first? There’s that moose like animal I read about. I haven’t checked these mountains for metals, gems or spell stones yet. I could also just scout out the area?

I’ve got three years here, no need to do the boring stuff right away. I’ll fly around and do some magic detection, if I find a moose there’s an item off my checklist, if I find some ne’er do wells then I can break my costume in.

***
I flew around conducting magic searches of the forest for the whole day, closer to the road there were some people camping out, but they’re probably just travelers. This area seems to have bears and a lot of deer. There was one animal that could be the female of the moose like species, but I want one with antlers to hang in my house.

The next day I head past the third mountain from the kingdom and scope out the area from on high. I need to get on the roof of the school sometime, I bet looking down at the capital feels nice.

In the distance on the eastern road I see a number of figures around a carriage, and they’re dancing? It’s a few kilometers away so I need to get closer. I put light refraction around myself and fly towards them.

They’re fighting. OH MAN, they’re fighting. I sneak even closer, I’m at the tree line a few meters from the road. There are three knights protecting a carriage and 8 bandits. BANDITS. I knew it was worth going to school again.

Swords are clashing, but the bandits don’t have much bloodlust. Each knight is fending off two bandits, while two sit back and watch. It’s like they’re just trying to wear the knights down.

“Why are you attacking us!? We’re not carrying valuables and you’ll make an enemy of the Sante Kingdom” the oldest looking knight yells as he parry’s their attacks.

“Hah you don’t know nothing. People, are what’s valuable” answers a young bandit attacking the knight.

It explains the lack of bloodlust. But it’s human traffickers! That was on my bingo card. Calm down, calm down. I’ve thought about this day for years, the introduction of THE CRAZY OLD MOUNTAIN GUY WITH BACK PAIN!

My hero was actually a bit of a villain. Grandpa from my last life didn’t fuck around, someone insulted him at a gas station so he shut the guy’s leg in his car door then called his wife a whore. It was a formative experience for me.

I’m dressed like he was while hunting, all black clothes with a bushy beard. I’ve been practicing using my magic to change hair color, but it’s not perfect. I can make hair grey, but I need it to be white to truly look like my hero. Whatever, it’s fine for just a couple bandits. 

The knights look tired, time for my debut performance. I creep up to the fight while using my light refraction, then cancel it inside everyone’s view. I have my sword in its scabbard in my right hand and I’m leaning on it like a cane. My left hand is reaching behind me to hold my lower back.

“HO HO young men why are we fighting today?” I yell and appear out of thin air simultaneously.

“”Where’d he come from?!””

“GET LOST GRAMPS THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU!”

“He wouldn’t sell for anything..”

“HO HO the disrespect from you young people” I straighten my posture with a groan “ah ha today’s a good back day and I thought I smelled bandits”

I sharpen my gaze on the two men in the back then kick off the ground. No one knows who I am, I can let loose a little bit.

I turn my body and swing my leg into the younger bandit’s face.

krshplat

His face caves in on contact with the top of my foot, but I follow through with my kick and shear his head off at the neck, sending it flying down the road. Brutal, this is why I don’t let loose much.

I stand next to the older bandit and twist my back, making it audibly crack.

“HO HO I knew I felt good today, you look like an aged man. Are you in charge of these ruffians?” I ask, but there’s no response.

The bandits and knights aren’t even fighting, they’re all staring at the old man who kick decapitated a bandit.

But the elder bandit tightens his face into a grimace at my question, that’s a yes. I grab his head like a basketball and throw him to the ground before the frozen knights and bandits then turn my gaze to the bandits who were engaging the knights.

They meet my gaze, then turn tail and sprint for the forest.

“HO HO they’re smart!” I yell.

I approach the knights and the bandit I threw at their feet.

“Now gentleman, this man appears to be their leader, so I would like to propose a trade” I say.

The eldest knight with streaks of grey in his hair takes a half step forward and gulps.

“Sir, thank you for your assistance” he bows slightly without taking his eyes off of me, I think he’s terrified, “we’d be happy to pay you for it”

“Aha you misunderstand me young man” he’s not young, but I bet he’ll feel good being called young.

“I’d like to offer you the bandit leader here and in exchange I’d like the privilege of exterminating the remaining bandits who ran off” I make my request with a warm smile, like I’m trading at a fruit stand on a sunny day.

The two knights who have remained silent look at each other then at their superior who’s speaking with me.

“That’s all?” the older knight cocks his head to the side before coming to his senses.

“We can’t abandon the carriage.. so as much as we’d like to, we can’t do anything about the men who ran off, if you’d handle them, we’d be grateful” he continues before bowing again.

“HO HO wonderful, you needn’t show so much deference to an old man like me. Consider the deal done, I wish you safe travels” I reply.

I kick off the ground, turn my body in the air then kick off again in the air to shoot myself towards the fleeing bandits.

“Boss, who the hell was that guy?” one of the younger knights speaks up.

“I don’t know. But he’s fast, and strong. Maybe a retired knight? Or a mercenary who aged out of the job?” the elder knight ponders while towards the forest.

“I couldn’t follow his movements, and he kicked the air to leave. Is that some kind of wind magic?” a younger knight asks.

“AHHH HE FOUND US”

“NO HE’S A DEMON ARHRK”

“FATHER HELP! KUH”

The screams in the distance reach the knights and the bandit leader still lying on the ground. His face crumples at the sounds reaching him.

“It’s not real. It’s a bad dream. He’s a demon in my dream. My son is fine..” the captured bandit mutters with a distraught look on his face.

The knights look down with surprise, they were so deep in thought they had forgotten the spoils of their trade. Snapped back to reality, the knights bind the man’s hands and attach him to the back of the carriage via rope.

***
This is why grandpa wore black, there was a lot of blood, but it’s not that noticeable.

Man, that was a blast, the first week of school really had me down, but icing some bandits who capture people to sell as slaves really hit the spot. I used to hate the slave tropes in anime and manga, guy from the 21st century wakes up in a fantasy world and buys a cat girl. I haven’t read anything about elves, dwarves or animal people hybrids here so it’s not entirely relevant, but it used to bother me.

What to do? I wanna hunt. Bandit slaying has me in a good mood, and I bet I can find that moose.

I take off into the forest past the third mountain from the kingdom and start my search. More bears, oh that one is eating a deer, guess everyone’s hunting today.

Three spots later I sense it, bigger than a horse and it’s got horns. I put away my sword and take out my short knife.

Hmm, I feel like doing this the old-fashioned way.

I start my stalk through the trees from 50 meters away, placing magic footholds just above the ground so I don’t make any noise when moving. I also make a soft wind blowing towards me to keep my smell from reaching the animal.

At 20 meters I freeze, it’s a little smaller than a moose, but it has paddle like horns instead of pointy ones. And its hide is more tan than brown, it’s a unique animal. Satisfied I’ve taken in the sight, I make an elevated foothold behind my right leg and get into a stance like a competition runner. I kick off at high speed and focus my senses like only a hunter can.

Time slows as I approach the animal, I extend my knife hand and aim to pierce the animal’s skull just below the ear. With the animal angled away from me, it’ll be a painless death.

Shink

It doesn’t move or react, for a moment the animal is totally still, then it topples over. A clean kill, hunters in my old world strived to give the animals they harvested a quick and painless death, and with magic I can provide that every time.

I stand over the creature to evaluate its form again. I’m gonna call you a melk, you’ve got a moose’s head, but an elk’s body.

I could bring it up to the house, but there are bears around so it’s better to process it here. They’re not a danger, but the house is only hidden with light refraction magic, processing it there could leave a smell animals can track, and I will shit my pants if I get woken up by a bear at my door.

I start my field dressing. The meat is significantly fattier than the deer I’ve harvested in this world. It should make some impressive steaks. I part the animal into a neck roast, shanks, steaks and scraps to use as ground meat. Before I can place it all into storage I sense a presence, but it’s small. In my grandpa disguise I don’t hold as much magic in, so I’ve got a decent idea of my surroundings at all times.

I stand up and turn towards the presence hiding itself behind a tree, I think it’s a kid.

“OHO you can come out, I’m just an old man out hunting” I call out.

The face of a young girl with silver blue hair pokes out from behind a tree. Fantasy world hair is sick.

“You’re awful young to be in the forest alone, are you hunting?” I ask with a rotated head.

I guess I look like a creepy old man right now, but I’m acting normal so maybe she doesn’t think I’m a woods pervert.

“..”

“Not a talkative one… Are you lost then?” I ask.

She steps out from behind the tree, but only looks at me for a moment before staring at the melk on the ground. She must’ve been making herself look smaller when approaching, she’s probably the same age as me in this world. Her clothes aren’t rags, but they’re well worn. And her eyes are wicked, they’re completely silver.

“You killed that paddle horn?” she asks, her look shows more surprise than anything.

But paddle horn? Unoriginal kid.

“Indeed young lady, I just finished field dressing. Are paddle horns rare in this area?” I ask.

“Hm not rare, but hard to hunt. They have a strong sense of smell and can hear the smallest twig snapping. My father says you’re blessed if you’re able to harvest one” she answers, this time looking me up and down with intrigue.

“Ha well old men have their tricks” I say.

“You don’t seem that old” she replies bluntly while staring at my face.

Argh, clocked me. I need magic wrinkles, and whiter hair. Balls.

“Ahem – I could share some meat if you’d like? I don’t have a taste for organ or tongue so you’re welcome to them. I was going to take the antlers then leave the rest for the predators” I say.

Her eyes light up when I say that and she walks closer. Am I only comfortable around girls when there’s a dead animal next to me? Or maybe being in disguise helps. Either way this is the second time..

“Ah yes please, if you’re not taking it. Paddle horn meat is hard to come by..” she says excitedly before trailing off.

I reach behind the animal and out of the girl’s sight. I take a cloth bag from storage and fill it with some steaks before placing it between us.

“Do you have a knife or shall I?” I ask, motioning at the animal.

“Oh, um, I don’t actually..” she says with a sorry expression.

“Not a problem, did you want anything besides the heart, tongue and liver?” I ask.

“Since it’s mostly done, would you finish taking the hide off?” she asks shyly and directs her eyes to the ground.

“Can do, and it’s not any trouble. I’ve had a wonderful day today so I don’t mind paying it forward” I smile and reply as I work my knife to supply the girl’s requests.

“Pay it forward..” she repeats slowly.

“Yes, it’s the opposite of paying someone back, when something good happens to you, you make something good happen for someone else” I explain.

“Why?” she asks seriously.

I wonder who raised this kid, it’s not a weird concept to help someone out because you’re in a good mood.

“Because it spreads the happiness, I’m happy because I’ve had a good day. You’ll be happy with some paddle horn. That’s twice the happiness” I answer.

“Twice the happiness.. but you’ll have less paddle horn. Won’t that take away from your happiness?” she asks.

She’s really contemplating this.

“Maybe some people would feel that way, but I won’t. This animal is huge, I won’t notice the difference if I have a little less” I answer.

I finish packing the bag I filled before then roll the hide and place it next to the bag.

“It’s even bigger up close, did you already haul the rest of it away? You don’t have any other bags” the girl says.

She’s not an altruist, but she’s got good eyes.

“Uh yes, I was just making my last trip when you found me” I force myself to make eye contact while answering.

It’s way easier to lie to my family, this girl can see through me.

“Here, the bag and hide are all yours” I motion to the goods on the ground then look up at the girl.

Her hair is fantastic, I wish people in Sante had cooler hair. Celia’s the closest I’ve seen, but the blue in this girl’s hair is next level.

“Right, thank you” she says.

She picks up the bag with a huff, but handles the weight well for her size.

“I’m off then, get home safe young lady” I wave as I start to leave.

“The hair isn’t fooling anyone, fake grandpa” she chuckles and calls out to my back.

Ungrateful.