The Dreams of Men and Demons

The five Tokyo exorcists sat in the conference room, not looking at each other, not looking at the fox eared girl who held the book she had finished with trembling hands, and certainly not at the American who sat stone still at the head of the table, opposite the girl with the book.

Reo stood up, walking over to Hinata and taking the book from her. She looked up at him with eyes which remained dry yet looked lost and empty. She had been used. They all had been used. Now the full extent of it was revealed, raw and bare and brutal.

“Nobody outside this room ever hears this,” Harry said slowly, his eyes locking onto Reo’s. If anyone in the room understood when Harry was completely serious, it was him. He nodded, walking over to Harry with the book. Gaku, however, grabbed Reo’s wrist as he walked by.

“Why not? The truth never hurt nobody,” Gaku said, seeming like he was convincing himself of it.

“Let’s say your house burned down, Gaku,” Harry said, stern but not unkind as he led his friend through his logic.

“You mean again, Harry?” Gaku said, forcing out a little laugh as he tried to penetrate the mood. Nobody bit his bait, however.

“It’s a hypothetical, moron,” Harry sighed. “Look, if it burned down as an accident, it sucks, but people accept it.” He looked around the room, daring anyone to argue against his point.

“I get it,” Takeshi said, nodding his head as his arms crossed over his broad chest. “Accidents you can’t get mad at anyone. But arson…”

“Arson gives you a villain,” Mayumi said, leaning back and rubbing her eyes the way she did after sleepless nights studying ancient folklore. “In our case, the demons. Revealing this confirms they’re monsters.”

“But demons are monsters!” Mizuki said, her bubbly voice faltering as she caught Harry’s face. His was a soul at war with itself. She followed his gaze, finding him looking at Hinata. “Oh! Oh Hinata, I didn’t mean…”

“You did. We all do. Reiji was right. Negative emotions are so much easier to latch onto. Fear, anger, hatred, demons eat those like candy.” Harry stood up, walking to where Gaku had stopped Reo, taking the book from his hand. He flipped through the pages, still seeing only the nonsense. It felt like he could will the words to say something different. “But some emotions…”

Hinata continued to be silent, wishing herself invisible, knowing her demon form made it impossible. All she had wanted her entire life was to be healthy, to not feel like a burden, and suddenly it felt like the sins of the entire world had been placed on her shoulders.

“We only know what’s going on because a demon told us,” Harry said, his words piercing each exorcist’s heart.

“I’m not a demon,” Hinata said, softly, unsure of her own voice. All eyes were suddenly on her. She did not falter. “The demon has never said anything cruel to me. She had always encouraged me.”

“HInata…” Reo started to say. She held up a hand, silencing him.

“She contacted me because she wanted exactly what I wanted my entire life. To live. To see my dreams become fulfilled. Demons have dreams too.”

“But they’re our dreams. Demons are humanity’s living imagination,” Harry said. The entire concept still felt mad to him. The monsters he had been fighting for ten years, the same ones which had killed him and his childhood love, were basically overgrown imaginary friends. It made him want to scream and punch a wall.

“Well personally, I’m sick of letting other people tell me my dreams,” Gaku said. He looked unusually serious as he said it.

“What did you say, Gaku?” Harry asked.

“Um…I’m sick of other people, something about dreams…” Gaku stammered.

“Dreams…yeah, maybe it’s dreams…” Harry said, starting to walk away.

“Thanks for clarifying, Harry,” Gaku sighed, shrugging.

“Harry! Where are you going?” Reo demanded. Harry stopped at the door, his fists clenching.

“He’s right. He’s absolutely right. We’ve let everything in the known universe decide our fates for a God damn decade. Well the Voice, Reiji, Gouki and each individual demon on the planet can shove it and screw off, in said order. I ain’t a pawn. I’m a man. And my dream is to act like one.”

Harry walked out of the room. Takeshi groaned, stretching and standing himself. “He’s right. The man found out a dead old yakuza has been leading him by the nose this whole time. He deserves to be pissed. And so do we, to be honest.”

They all stood then, looking between Reo and Hinata, all of them agreeing.

“Nobody says anything,” Mayumi said.

“Lips are sealed,” Mizuki agreed.

“At least until we take care of Gouki and beat his slimy ass down,” Takeshi growled.

“Hell, I’m good at keeping secrets. Ask my parents,” Gaku said. “Especially to protect my favorite foxy lady.

Reo and Hinata said nothing. They simply turned to the door, wondering where Harry was and if it was safe for him to be alone.

*

Harry walked the streets of Tokyo, not knowing exactly where he was going. He had put the diary back in the evidence locker, putting its secrets back in the dark. But the truth kept rattling around in his brain.

“Why me? God damn it, why?” Harry whispered to himself. He replayed each moment he had ever interacted with Gouki. The first moment in the warehouse when he had stumbled upon a demon fueled gang brawl. The last night when Reiji had baited him into shooting him. Dozens of times in between. Tokyo had still been rebuilding two years after D Day. Random demon possessed people were frequent, but the yakuza had been desperate to hold onto the power the chaos had given them.

He remembered one night about four months into his stay. He, Reo and Takeshi had raided a brothel which supposedly had demon women working there. Of course, he could only assume after the diary Reiji had been the one to tip them off. They had found possessed women there promising exotic pleasures. It had been one of the easier nights where the demons hasn’t fought back. The manager had been talking to Gouki over a video chat, and he had not been happy.

“Enjoying my girls, Harry? You don’t have one to go home to?” Gouki had asked when he saw him through the screen.

“Don’t you have a granddad to disappoint?” Harry had countered.

“What can I do to get you to screw off and go back home, you yankee dick?” Gouki had asked.

Harry had actually thought about it then. What could he have offered. Money? Power? He had those things by being an exorcist. What he didn’t have…

“Gimme a home to go to,” Harry said before smashing the monitor with his hammer.

“A home…” Harry said in the present, his nighttime journey continuing. “A purpose. A meaning. A…a family.”

He was at the park again. Somehow he had walked nearly back to Reo’s. There was the slide, the swings, those stupid spring animals. Simple objects for a simple life. He walked closer to the lion, and before he knew it his fist landed on it.

“I didn’t ask for any of this!” he shouted. “I wanted a normal life, damn it! A wife and kids and a job putting up god damn buildings! Why couldn’t you give me those things?! I’m sick of being manipulated by bullshit! WHY ME?! TELL ME WHY?!”

He sank to his knees, gripping onto the spring lion, blood screaming through his veins, the world crashing down on him. And then there were two other arms around him, holding him, protecting him, keeping him there and not letting him wander.

“How did you find me?” Harry asked

“The smell,” Hinata said.

“I’m not okay.”

“Neither am I.”

“Okay.”

They remained there for a long time, the exorcist and the demon, the man and the woman, the broken halves looking to be whole.

When they stood again, they knew it was time to make their lives their own again.