THE NIGHT I COULDN'T LIE TO MYSELF

That same evening—
“Stop drinking, Kageya.”
“You’re already drunk.”
“What the hell are you talkiiiing about, Soraaaa?”
“I’m nooooot even a biiiit druunk.”
“You’ve never touched alcohol before today.”
“And now you’re drinking like some reckless drunkard.”
“Haaaa… haaaa…”
Kageya laughed loudly.
“I’ll definitely drink like crazy today.”
“This is a special celebration.”
“I saved my childhood friend from myself.”
His laughter echoed.
And then—
tears fell from his eyes.
---
Why?
Why am I crying?
I know it’s for Hikari’s sake.
My presence would only harm her.
Nothing good would come from staying close to her.
Then why—
why does it feel like I’ve done something unforgivable?
---
Kageya lowered his head.
His shoulders trembled.
Tears continued to fall.
---
“Kageya…”
“Why are you crying?”
“What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“I’m sooo happy that it made me cry.”
Kageya forced a laugh.
A broken, hollow sound.
---
“I’ll drop you home today.”
“You shouldn’t go alone in this state.”
“Stop it.”
“Stop acting like you’re my boss.”
“Or Mei.”
“Stop giving me orders.”
“I’m not your pawn.”
“I’ll go home alone.”
“Don’t you dare follow me.”
“…Okay.”
“Okay, fine.”
“Then I’ll walk you to the station.”
“…Okay.”
---
### **On the Way to the Station**
“Kageya, stop.”
“It’s just a dog.”
“Why are you chasing that guy?”
“He was just trying to move the dog away from the middle of the road.”
“Huh?”
“Why?”
“You’re asking me why?”
“Because no one has the right to play with someone else’s life.”
“Not even a dog’s.”
“I know, but he was trying to keep it safe—”
“You’re not my boss.”
“You’re not Mei either.”
“Don’t lecture me about what’s right or wrong.”
“I’m not lecturing you.”
“I’m just saying it as your friend.”
“Do whatever you want.”
“The station’s here.”
“I’m going.”
“…Fine.”
“Let’s talk tomorrow.”
“Reach home safely.”
---
Kageya turned away.
And walked off.
---
*I know how broken you are, Kageya.*
*I know how much it hurts to deceive her.*
*But you’re a good person.*
*And I won’t let you suffer alone.*
*I have to do something.*
---
### **After Reaching Home**
“Mom, I’m home.”
“Kageya…?”
“Are you drunk?”
“Yes.”
“I drank today.”
“For the first time.”
“And it was… amazing.”
His voice cracked.
Tears spilled out.
---
“What happened?”
“Why are you crying?”
“Come.”
“Sit here on the sofa.”
“…Okay.”
“Here.”
“Drink this lemon juice.”
“…Fine.”
Kageya drank it quietly.
The sour taste stung his tongue.
---
After a while—
“Are you feeling better now?”
“…Yeah.”
“I think I’m normal now.”
“So what happened at work today?”
“Weren’t you working with that idol—Hikari?”
“…Nothing happened, Mom.”
“Kageya.”
“You’ve never touched alcohol at any party.”
“And now you’re crying.”
“You can’t lie to me.”
“…You saw right through me.”
Kageya smiled weakly.
Then cried again.
---
“What happened?”
“Why are you crying again?”
“I’ll bring more lemon juice—”
“No.”
“It’s not because of alcohol.”
“It’s because of something else.”
“Then tell me.”
“What is it that hurts you so much?”
“…It’s about Hikari.”
---
“Did that idol do something to you?”
“If she did, I’ll sue her.”
“No.”
“She didn’t do anything.”
“It’s me.”
“I’m the one who did something.”
“…What did you do?”
“Do you remember what Dad said?”
“That Hikari used to live near our neighborhood in Kyoto?”
“And how I used to come home late from school?”
“With dirty clothes?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t rub dirt on myself to fool you.”
“I really was playing with someone.”
“That someone was Hikari.”
“What…?”
“I didn’t know.”
“I thought I was the only one who remembered our friendship.”
“But I was wrong.”
“She remembered me too.”
“She only accepted this project to meet me.”
---
“Did she deceive you?”
“Did she take advantage of your friendship?”
“No.”
“She didn’t deceive me.”
“I deceived her.”
---
“Tell me.”
“What did you do?”
“Her manager…”
“And her mother’s friend—Mei.”
“She ordered me to stay away from Hikari.”
“So I wouldn’t damage her reputation.”
“So today…”
“With the help of Mei, Sora, and Hoshino…”
“I created a situation.”
“I made Hikari believe I was blackmailing Hoshino.”
“That I wanted to extend the project.”
“That I wanted her to fall in love with me.”
“That I wanted to become a celebrity using her.”
---
Silence filled the room.
---
“What have you done, Kageya…?”
“I know.”
“But it was for Hikari’s sake.”
“Don’t deceive yourself.”
“That wasn’t for you or Hikari.”
“That was for Mei.”
“And for Hikari’s mother.”
“For fame.”
“For control.”
---
“But…”
“Wouldn’t it cause problems for her work if she stayed with me?”
“Did she ever tell you that?”
“…No.”
“Kageya.”
“A girl doesn’t remember someone from that long ago unless she loves him.”
“Not you too…”
“Sora and Hoshino said the same thing.”
“They warned me.”
“They were right.”
“And you didn’t listen.”
“They must’ve said something else too.”
“…Yes.”
“They told you that you love her.”
“…Yes.”
“But…”
“Kageya.”
“Don’t avoid the question.”
“Ask your heart.”
“Do you love her?”
---
My heart—
I’ve loved Hikari since childhood.
I remember our promise.
That we’d marry one day.
I even searched for her in high school.
But when I saw her smiling—
I thought she’d lose that smile if she saw someone like me.
So I left.
But when I met her again—
I felt peace.
Because she remembered me too.
And now—
my heart feels shattered.
---
Kageya collapsed.
He cried openly.
---
“Mom…”
“You were right.”
“I’ve loved Hikari forever.”
---
TO BE CONTINUED……