This Is the Day

The day had come. Falling asleep had been easy, but the awakening came early. Five o'clock in the morning, and after that there was no return to the land of dreams. The last concert had been over two months ago, and it had also been a smaller venue.

She couldn't concentrate at school, and break didn't help relax. When it was lunchtime, she hurried to Robert’s and her bench.

He was already there. Waiting for her. The greeting became an awkward hug. Nothing seemed to go right today.

“Hungry or too psyched?”

“Yes.”

He handed her a plastic bowl.

“No sandwich?”

“No sandwich.”

“Fruit salad?”

“Yeah, I did a little research. No dairy to avoid phlegm sitting on the vocal cords. Nothing spicy or too heavy.”

“Just some fruits and tahini granola for some complex carbohydrates, so you have enough energy for the day.”

“Dude, are you my nutritionist or something?”

Kim had a light chuckle and Robert smiled at her. Some of the pent-up stress was gone. A small chunk.

They ate together. Kim was still too nervous for a real conversation and so Robert used the time to calm her down with soothing words and gentle strokes along her back, shoulders and arms.

Kim saw the boy who had been watching her in the cafeteria again. How many times had that been now? The fourth time? There he stood, alone, reading a magazine. His eyes peered out from above it. When he noticed Kim's gaze, he immersed himself in the magazine again and slowly walked toward the library.

“The concert lasts about an hour and a half, right? I could take you home after the show. Then we'd have some time to go for a walk, like on Sunday.”

“Yes, sounds good. But I'll definitely need another half hour after that. But you can come backstage with the others. I'll tell my manager to put you on the list. Just give your name to someone from security and demand to speak to Franca.”

“Oh, that will be a first for me. I've never been backstage before.”

“You'll be my groupie.”

“Oh, so I have to do whatever depraved stuff you demand?”

“Some people in the industry are really messed up…”

“Not funny?”

“It's fine. Just remembered rumors and stuff. Franca told me some crazy stories.”

“But the studio and label people you usually deal with aren't freaks like that, are they?”

“No, some of them just take themselves too seriously and then go overboard. But that's about it.”

The conversation had eased Kim's tension somewhat more.

The last class was music and afterwards she hurried to the parking lot. She would get changed at the venue. And not just once. Her outfits for rehearsal and the real deal should already be waiting in the dressing room.

The journey was slightly shorter than to the studio, and the sight of the Swanage Theatre was a joyful welcome. Franca had told her that the hall could accommodate 5,000 people. This would be her biggest concert to date.

The preparations were already largely complete, and Kim was able to start soundcheck half an hour after arriving. The moment she stepped onto the stage and was able to get started, all her doubts and anxiety faded away. The live musicians were also in top form, and the combo quickly got used to the space.

There were still about two hours to go, and Kim relaxed a little in her room, cooling off with an iced tea, when Franca burst through the door.

“Well, that went perfectly. You seem pretty relaxed too. Nice!”

“Yes, felt good. Did you sort out the matter with my friends?”

“No problem at all. If they give their names to security, I'll be notified.”

“Then nothing can go wrong, right?”

“That’s right, and I've got a surprise for you after the concert. Get excited and wow the crowd.”

“Excited? You think that's good, with something this big.”

“Oh, don't be silly. You're always acting comfortable on stage. Just look forward to it.”

“Franca, please tell me. I need to know! What has my great and humble manager in store for me?” Kim said in feigned despair.

“You'll see.” Franca scoffed and left the room.

Kimberly gradually went through the lyrics in her head. Her first full album. Three tracks she had written before and almost half of album number two. For the latter, this would be a first. Twenty-one songs in total. One hour of non-stop performance on stage. Twenty minutes longer than her previous concerts. About half an hour of downtime spread throughout the event. She could handle it. She was ready.

The others would come and see her. Robert, her boyfriend, Eve, her now sort of best friend, Gail and Blake. They were nice too and they probably could have been friends if they had met earlier.

They still had a few months left of their limited time in school. Maybe she would belong to a clique again. Spending lunch breaks together, going out, maybe even double dates. With Eve and Blake. Maybe with Abby and Gail.

Would she come too? Kim had grown rather fond of the short girl with her pig-tails and breezy manner. Abby wasn't as superficial as she had initially thought. Or was she?

Kim wandered around backstage for a while and chatted with various crew members and one of the live musicians. And she saw Quinn too. The label representative had apparently just arrived and was inspecting everything as if he were in charge of the event. Kimberly had no desire to deal with the eccentric marketing expert and fled back to her personal refuge.

Meanwhile, admission should slowly begin. Kim had just under an hour left. It would have been nice to see Robert again beforehand. But that would probably have thrown her off track again. Now it was time to get started. It was all or nothing! A test run, for the tour. Her fans' first impressions of her new songs. Would they love them, hate them, or wait indifferently for her known hits?

It didn't matter. Kim’s music belonged to herself. The only thing that belonged to her alone, until she met Robert.

Franca let her know. It was time. Her steps toward the stage followed a predetermined path. Four, five, six. Every move was perfect. The hall was packed to the rafters.

The first song started. Bad Scene. A quiet start that captivated the crowd and then picked up speed.

Falling Up and Down. She was on a roll. The crowd was hers. Simple melody. Deep, fast bassline.

Cityscape. The first new song. Everything had gone well so far. That's how she had processed her first weeks in the city. Even before she had become friends with Eve. The audience got into the dark electronic tune. Of course, they did.

I Don’t Think About it. Fast hi-hat. Compressed kick. The rhythmic piece got the audience moving. Kim even thought, she had seen Robert and the others for a moment. But from up there, in the spotlight, it was impossible to tell for sure.

Stab. Why did they like that song? She didn’t want to perform it ever again, but it had become a fan favorite. Whatever. It felt cathartic. It always did.

Plastic Ratio. Another new song. She had met Eve. Got used to school. But she couldn't get used to the label. To the marketing. A song that was accessible in terms of lyrics, but deliberately contrasted with the complex instrumentation.

Orange to White. Kim's music was usually rather melancholic or otherwise tinged with gloom. But this song was different. It was the last piece she had written at home. Anticipation of a new world.

Unusual Punishment. The third excerpt from her second album. She had found her self-confidence and got along well with Palmer and Quinn. She knew who she was. She had known until two weeks ago.

Signal lost. The kick now struck twice. Again and again, like a heartbeat. The bass raspy and slow. The synthesizers high and fast. Like flashing lights.

Stage Blood. The highlight of her show. Robert had demonstrated good taste, but he was certainly not alone in his preference.

Point of No Return. Halfway there. Kim's blood was boiling. Sweat was pouring down her face. The slower track helped her calm down a bit.

Fear. The penultimate preview. Things were going well for her. She had made herself comfortable. At the academy and in her work. Her greatest fear had been stagnation. Kim had written the text just under three weeks ago. So much had changed. Including her fears.

Up Late. She fired up the audience again. The melodic electric guitar carried the song and Kimberly gave it her all.

One-way Street. For once, just the guitar and her voice. She hadn't been in a good place. Not after what had happened at school. Back in her hometown. The second reason for this fresh start.

Feedback. Kim had played around a lot with effects on the song. She was particularly taken with the flanger and reverb at the time. The sound filled the entire room.

Millennium. It was that one song that she herself didn't think was particularly good, but everyone else loved. An overly simple melody. Random drums. Passable lyrics. Some things would remain a mystery forever.

Tired Old Story. Just one chord, over and over again. Kim missed her family. Her mother. Her father. The lack of responsibility.

Engine Room. Samples. It had been a whole new world. Sampling things herself and building something new from them. Reassembling the world in her own image.

Alas. It was time to slow down a little. Electric piano and strings, focus on her voice. The concert drew to a close.

Don’t Go Yet. Slow and a bit sad, but also hopeful. The song she had ended her previous concerts with. But not this time. Kim's whole body was electrified. The high wasn't over yet.

Fade to Black. A new song to finish with. A new ending. Deep kick, echoing snare, and muffled samples. Kim stumbled. From her new perspective, she could make out a few faces in the crowd. She was exhausted. Fade to black. Fitting.