Chapter 26: Cool Uncle

I take to the skies over Albert and book it due north. The terrain under me looks as awful as the tomato guy said. It’s hilly and rocky, a nightmare for a wooden wheeled carriage, but not a problem from the sky.

The rough landscape is sprawling. I don't see any monsters, but I haven't made any stops – I’m on an important mission.

Once past the hills, the land opens up and turns green. It’s also quite warm. Maybe having the sea so close made the last town cooler, and this whole continent is hot? There’s what looks to be a small farming village just ahead. I wonder what they know about tomatoes?

I descend out of sight and make my way towards the village on foot. The fields look like rice fields? Rice should keep well.. why wouldn’t rice make it to Sante? Whatever, I’ll stock up if they have it.

I pass a man heading for the fields and ask him a question-

“Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to answer a question for a traveler?” I ask.

“Me?” he says, pointing at himself, like we’re in a crowd and not bumfuck.

“Yes, sir, if you don’t mind,” I respond with a light bow.

“Sure..” he says quietly. Maybe he was dropped on his head as a kid.

“I’m looking for red fruits grown in this region, and I’m also curious about the grain that’s grown here,” I say, causing him to make a thoughtful expression.

“Red fruits, there’s a lot of those. But there’s a trade city if you follow the road west. If you want to buy the grain here, you have to talk to the village chief, ask around in the village, and someone will help,” he says, then walks off.

Can’t get a read on that guy.

I continue into the village center, and a few kids are playing in the dirt, but most of the adults must be in the fields. There's a circle of wooden houses and shacks around a well with a wooden stand next to it. As I'm examining it, a middle-aged man with light hair walks up to greet me.

“Ahem – sir – do you have business in this village? You don’t seem to be a local..” he says suspiciously.

“Good afternoon, sir, I wanted to inquire about purchasing the grain that’s sold here,” I say with a polite bow.

“Right.. we normally transport it to the nearest trade town to sell, but we could sell it here if you have a way to transport it..” he says.

“Transportation won’t be a problem. How much would I be able to purchase?” I ask.

“We had a great harvest this year, and taxes are paid. You can clear out the storehouse if you’d like, haha,” he says with a chuckle.

“I just might, could you show me to the storehouse?” I ask earnestly. The man squints his eyes in response.

“You’re serious? How will you transport it? Is a carriage coming later?” he asks.

“Hmm, if you have enough to sell, I will share that secret with you, and I’ll pay you a silver coin now to show that I’m serious,” I say before pulling out and handing over one silver.

The man’s face lights up, and he grabs the coin like it could be stolen at any moment.

“Th-That’s fine, follow me," he says with a stutter, "I’m the Village Chief, Andrew.”

“Nice to meet you, Chief Andrew, I’m Sio,” I reply with a bow.

Andrew leads me past some of the houses to the rear of the village, where there’s a small barn-like structure. He swings the wooden door open with a creak before ushering me in. There are stacks of rice bags to the ceiling; it’s like a Costco.

“How much for the lot of them?” I ask seriously.

“Wha- you’re actually serious?" he mutters, then takes an equally serious expression, "Even for a farming town, it’ll be a chore to bring all this to a trading hub..” he responds, realizing the convenience of selling the stock from the village.

“I said I’d share the secret to the transportation if you had enough product, and you do. I’m testing a magic storage device for my employer. If it works, it should revolutionize how goods are transported throughout the world,” I explain, keeping my face as serious as I can.

“Magic storage? You can really do that?” Chief Andrew says, awestruck.

“Early testing has gone well, but this will be a real-world test of the device,” I say like a scientist working on his latest invention.

“Oh well.. it sounds like it could do a lot of good. We’d be saving on our own transport costs if we sell to you in our village.. you can have it all for six gold and five silver. No four silvers since you already gave me one,” he says while straining to do the math.

That’s cheap, if he said 50 gold, I would’ve paid it.

“How about seven gold, and you keep the experiment I’m running a secret, the device could fail, and I don’t want to get people’s hopes up..” I say solemnly.

“Yea that makes sense, you have a deal!” he yells excitedly.

I take the gold out and fork it over before pulling a small spell stone from my fake pocket to put on a show.

“Ahem – stand back, chief, this is still an experimental device,” I say while motioning for him to get behind me.

He nods furiously before stepping behind me. I hold the spell stone up with my right hand and aim it at the rice before starting to hum.

Do I make up some incantation? I want this to be too silly to believe. Nah, I’ll go with the power of friendship.

“Chief Andrew, the magic in here is too chaotic. I need you to focus your mind with me. Focus deeply and imagine the bags in front of us falling through the ground,” oh poor bastard, no one is going to believe him.

“Right, I’ll focus and picture it in my mind.. hummmm”

Ahah, he started humming. Ok ok, now the big finale.

“”HUMMMMM”” we synchronize our hums, and I activate a large spatial storage opening on the floor to swallow up all the bags. They appear to fall through the ground.

“Phew – Chief Andrew, thank you for your help. You have a strong mind to be able to calm the magic around you so much,” I say before giving a deep bow.

“Wow, really? I did that? Incredible, I pray your device works, sir. Something like that would revolutionize farming and transportation,” he says, beaming with pride for being of use.

“I pray as well, Chief. Now I must be off. Thank you,” I say.

Yeaa that was mean, but it had to be done. Now, where are the tomatoes?

***
I leave the farming village to continue my hunt. I’m flying over the western road, and it’s surprisingly well-maintained. The ground is flat, which helps, but it isn’t broken anywhere I can see.

A short while later, I arrive at a town with a long line to enter. Balls, I’ve never liked lines. I would rather go without something than have to stand in line. But I really want pizza. I’ll brave the line of people to get into town.

Once inside, it’s carriages and stalls as far as the eye can see. But I need information, and the guard didn’t have time to chat. I find the most bored-looking food stall owner, he’s selling grilled zucchini? Yea I see why there isn’t a line.

“Excuse me, sir, one skewer please,” I request of the stall owner, who is inspecting the ground beneath him.

“Oh, right away! Only two copper!” the stall owner snaps back to his senses and places the zucchini over a fire before salting them.

“Do you mind if I ask you some questions about this town? It’s my first time here,” I ask.

“Go right ahead, boy, anything for a customer!” he exclaims. Damn, he’s too nice to have a shitty vegetable stall.

“I was wondering about buying items in bulk – specifically, there are some fruits I’m looking for..” I explain, and he hums in thought.

“If you want bulk, this is the best town for it. This place is an intermediary town between all the northern farming villages and the more populated areas in Calter. If you need to hire transportation, you should talk to the merchants who ship goods out of here. If you don’t, then head down to the hall past the city center, they handle storage and trade for the farmers,” he says before handing over a zucchini skewer.

I hand him a silver coin for the valuable information and take my skewer to go. I think I hear him yell “YAHOOO” as I walk away, and the skewer isn’t bad for what it is.

The town is huge for an intermediary city. It’s a hike to get past the street into town, and it’s far more crowded than the town in Albert. Once I break through the crowd, I see a set of large buildings beyond a circular city center. There’s a line..

I brave a second line until I reach a counter inside the first large building.

“Good Afternoon sir, how can we help you today?” a young lady working reception asks, she can’t be any older than 12, but she has a cheerful smile. She has light blue hair that’s cut short, even bluer eyes, and the stature of a young girl. Lighter hair colors seem to be more common in the north, but fantasy world hair still sticks out. 

“Good Afternoon Miss. I’m looking to purchase some fruits in bulk. But I’m foreign and don’t know their names, I was hoping to be shown your offerings,” I request with a polite bow.

“That’s not a problem, sir - Camila, can you take the counter? I need to show a customer to the back,” the young lady yells over her shoulder.

“COMING,” someone yells in response.

“Please follow me, sir,” the young lady guides me down a hallway on the left of the reception area that leads to a rear exit door.

“Since you’re not from around here, I’ll explain our process. The domain lord of this area runs this facility as a go-between for farmers and merchants. It also gives farmers an easy way to pay their taxes directly with the goods they grow,” she explains.

The back of the facility has a number of broken-down carriages. Maybe they fix them too?

My guide notices where I’m glancing and chimes in-

“Those carriages belong to merchants - we let them be stored here until a carpenter is available to fix them,” she says, her cheerful smile not waning.

This girl pays attention, great service so far.

“Now up ahead we have our storehouses,” she says while motioning at some buildings ahead of us.

There must be 20 of them, and they’re situated like they’re in five groups of four.

“Each set of storehouses has the same goods, those furthest left are the most expensive, while those furthest to the right are the least expensive,” she explains while gesticulating between the storehouses.

“If they’re the same goods, why are they at five different prices?” I ask, genuinely confused.

“There are five different areas most merchants who do business here ship to, all of them with different lengths of travel involved. The least ripe fruits are the most expensive, because they can travel the farthest. The nearest to ripe or ripe fruits can’t make it far, so they’re cheaper!” the girl explains.

“I see..” solid logistics for a fantasy world.

“How far will you be traveling?” my guide looks up at me and asks.

“Not far at all, the cheapest option will be fine,” I answer with a smile.

“Sounds good, to the rightmost storehouses we go!” she exclaims. Great energy, little one, don’t let the world sour you.

I step into the first storehouse and see tons of that grapefruit-like thing - no, thank you.

The second has a green fruit with a prickly outer edge, and what appears to be cantaloupe – also pass.

The third storehouse has the sacred treasure I’m looking for. It’s piled high with tomatoes, and they look good. Ripe or near ripe, the lot of them, there’s also a smaller section of colorful pepper-like fruits – they remind me of bell peppers, but they’re shorter and fatter.

“The red fruit I will certainly purchase, but what are the other ones?” I ask and motion to what I think are peppers.

“Those are sweet peppers, they’re used in several local food dishes, and they’re quite delicious. They’re not spicy like the smaller varieties of peppers you might find," the girl says. So they are like bell peppers. I’m gonna need those..

“I see, thank you for the explanation. Can we look at the last storehouse, then discuss a purchase?” I ask.

“Absolutely! Let’s see the last one!” she shouts, then starts marching.

The last storehouse has a variety of smaller peppers.

“These are spicier peppers, they’re not as popular, so farmers don’t grow them in large quantities. But if you’re interested, I could give you a great deal!” the girl says then looks up at me with her beaming smile.

“Aha, I like spicier foods, but I’ve never tried any of these before.. how good of a deal can you make me?” I ask in a teasing tone, but the girl is all business.

“Hmm, it’s hard to sell the near-ripe fruit when it’s hot.. for all the peppers in here, I would charge you one gold,” she says while scanning the mid-sized stack of hot peppers.

“That is a good deal, what about the store room with the red fruit and sweet peppers? How much would that storehouse cost me?” I ask.

My guide’s eyes spin, then laser in on me.

“That storehouse has a lot more product, but the red fruit in particular doesn’t travel well.. I could let it go for five gold!” she says, holding up her hand to show me five fingers.

“So six gold in total for these two storehouses, you have a deal, Miss,” I say with a bow.

“Fantastic! You can bring carriages around the back and right up to the storehouses-“

“Oh, that won’t be necessary,” I say with a grin.

She’s a kid, this will blow her mind, and she’s sweet. Why not put on a second show?

“It.. won’t?” she asks, looking at me like a dog hearing a high-pitched noise.

I take out six gold coins from my fake pocket and a silver coin for hush money.

“I’m actually a magic researcher from a faraway land, testing better ways to transport crops that spoil easily,” I say, deepening my voice and making piercing eye contact with her.

Her eyes go adorably wide.

“I’ve brought a device to these lands to conduct an experiment, and these fruits will be perfect for that,” I explain and hand her the six gold coins I owe her.

“You may watch the device in action, but only if you swear to me that you won’t share the information with anyone else,” I add. 

I hold the silver coin between my index and middle fingers on my right hand and draw her attention to it, “This will serve as payment for your silence on the matter.”

“Hu-wha, but storage magic is temporary, it takes too much magic to maintain, so it can’t be used reliably to transport things..” she protests.

“That’s precisely why you must swear to keep this information to yourself. If this device works as intended, that knowledge will no longer be true,” I say in a serious tone before holding the silver coin out to the girl.

She takes it. Lock in Alfred. She seems to know more about magic than a backwater farming villager, so I take out a misshapen spell stone. It kinda looks like a dick and balls, but hopefully she doesn’t notice that.

“Right.. ok, please show me!” she says, her face determined.

I hold out the phallus spell stone in front of me and make a spatial opening beneath the hot peppers, swallowing them all.

“HUH! It’s like temporary spatial storage magic, but it was so big?? That little device did that? Is it because of its shape? How does it work!?” she cries out in awe.

“I’m sorry, but until it’s proven effective, I can’t share details. Let’s get the rest,” I suggest.

“Right!" she yells, "Sorry, sir, I got excited. My name is Lucy! If that device works and you can share more in the future, please come see me again!”

“Miss Lucy, thank you for the fine service today. If it works reliably, you’ll see me again,” I respond with a smile.

We head to the next storehouse, and I make a show of holding up the spell stone before creating spatial openings to engulf the tomatoes and sweet peppers. Lucy’s eyes are sparkling like this is the best day of her life. I’m starting to feel bad.

“Miss Lucy, you seem to know a bit about magic – are you a magic user?” I ask.

“Oh, I love magic, but I’m not very good at it.. I can do a little earth magic, but nothing impressive,” she says and drops her gaze to the ground between us.

I take two small spell stones from storage. I fill the first with wind magic, enough to create a small cool breeze around the holder when pushing magic into it. The second, I leave empty.

“Then these are for you," I say and hold the spell stones out in front of Lucy, "this first one can generate a breeze when you send your magic into it. It should help on hot days like today. And the second is empty. If you want to improve your magic, practice controlling your magic and push it out of your body carefully, just until this empty spell stone starts to react. It will swirl like a small storm is going on inside when you’re doing it right,” I explain. Lucy looks over the stones, then up at me. 

“Mister, these stones are valuable.. and I don’t know that I’d make good use of them,” she says sadly.

This kid is killing me. It’s like looking at a stray cat, I want to take it home and feed it. And in this case, teach it magic.

“Nonsense, learning magic is a process that requires failure at every turn. These spell stones were extras I couldn’t make better use of. I don’t know that my device will work, but I’ll come back here eventually, and I want you to show me how much stronger your magic is then,” I reply.

“Ah-Alright” Lucy says with watery eyes, “I’ll practice every day, sir!”

I have a crazy urge to make a dramatic exit. What if I just flew into the sky and yelled, “You’ll be able to do this someday!” Ehh, that’s a little unrealistic. Oh, I got it.

“Miss Lucy, I look forward to it. Now, if you’ll excuse me..” I say while walking out of the storehouse. Once I’m a few meters away, I wave and put up my light refraction magic, disappearing right in front of Lucy.

“HUH- where’d he go? How!?” Lucy gasps and whips her head from side to side, looking for me.

Her gasp was perfect, and I can make a spell stone that does this for her. She’s probably too old to be adopted, and she probably has parents, too. But I could be a cool uncle who drops by and shows her magic. Yea, I’d like that.