The weight of a broken promise

It was around June.

That evening, right after I got home from campus, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Mom’s name lit up the screen.

— Hi, Mom — I said, putting her on speaker as I kicked off my shoes.

— Hi, son — she replied, her voice warm and familiar. — How’s your school break going?

— Not exactly relaxing. But I’m surviving.

— Don’t push yourself too hard — she said. — Will you be able to come visit us?

I hesitated, staring at the quiet hallway of my apartment.

— I don’t think so, Mom. Not this time.

— How cruel — she gasped, clearly pretending to be offended. — You promised!

— I know. But I told you I’d be taking music lessons, remember? — I said. — Breaks are the only time I can chase things like that.

Ever since my first year of college, I had filled every break with classes, workshops, or anything that caught my attention. I still visited my parents, of course—but only during the long holidays.

— I know, I know — she said, her tone softening. — But can’t you come for at least one weekend in July?

— I’ll try. I’ll make time.

— You better. Your dad and I miss you.

For a moment, her voice lost its playful edge.

— I miss you too. How’s Dad doing?

— Same as always when vacation season starts.

The first few days of vacation season, even during winter, used to be pretty tough on all of us.

— A little more tired than usual, since he’s still not used to a certain someone bailing on him since last year — she teased.

I already knew that would be the case. At the start of every season, I would find myself helping them with errands or watching over the reception while they were off attending to other matters. But now, since I wasn't there, I figured they were feeling a little overworked. The only reason I felt comfortable staying away was because they were the ones who had suggested I spend my school breaks pursuing my own interests.

— Yeah… My bad, I guess.

Even so, a sense of guilt weighed on me. However, before we could take the conversation any further, a low beep echoed through the phone.

— Oh, it's your dad. Gotta go. Bye-bye!

With that, she hung up to take my father’s call. Left in the sudden silence, I pulled myself out of bed and headed for the shower. Afterward, I threw together some dinner and put on a random movie. It was a bad habit of mine—something I did whenever I wasn't in the mood to study—and it always left me with a lingering sense of regret.

It was only later, after the movie ended, that I remembered to check my phone. I found five missed calls from my mom. It was common for her to forget things and call me back repeatedly, so at the time, I didn’t think much of it. Still, I figured I should call her back.

— Hi Mom, what is it? — I asked as soon as she picked up.

— Yuri, it's Valeria! — my cousin’s voice answered. — I’m with Auntie Flor at the hospital.

— Why? What happened?

— It's your father… he crashed his car.

Her words made my heart sink.

I didn't exactly remember how she explained things after that; everything became a blur of panic. The only thing that stuck was that my dad had fallen asleep at the wheel and hit a tree.

Luckily, he wasn’t seriously injured, but he still had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. I tried to get a bus to Icugimirê that same night, but none were running.

The next morning, my mother called and convinced me not to come. She said my dad was doing well and would likely be discharged the following day. She insisted there was no need for me to rush back—that I should stay and finish the music lessons I’d signed up for.

That was great news, sure. But after that, everything changed.

For the rest of the break, I spent every waking moment worrying about them.

I was constantly overbearing them with questions about their health, overthinking every little thing. If I had just gone back to help during the busy season, none of this would have happened. But I was so focused on myself that I just went along with what they said and stayed to do what I wanted.

Of course they told me to enjoy my break. What parents wouldn't? But in the end, the choice was mine. I knew they needed help. Yet, I still let them tire themselves out to the point where my father almost lost his life.

It was my fault.

At that point, I couldn’t just drop everything and change my life on a whim. If I did, all the sacrifices they had made for me would have been in vain. I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. That was when I decided to put a deadline on it. At the same time, I basically forced my parents to agree to take a break themselves by the end of the year.

I promised them I would be there during my summer break to take care of everything while they went on vacation. And I made a promise to myself: if, by the end of this school year, I hadn’t managed to achieve at least one of the dreams I've been chasing, I would give it all up.

I would stop, and I would focus entirely on helping my parents.

— And that was exactly what happened — Yuri said to Ana as they finished folding the last of the freshly washed sheets.

It was 8 PM already. While they had been waiting for the dryer to finish, Ana had taken the opportunity to grab a shower. She had just stepped out, looking refreshed, and made sure to thank him again for the gift she’d already opened. She was wearing it now—a delicate necklace with a small, silver flower pendant that shimmered against her skin.

Ana was sitting on the counter, handing Yuri the folded laundry to put away as they caught up on each other’s lives. Eventually, Yuri felt comfortable enough to open up; it was obvious she could tell he was stuck in his own head.

— I see... — Ana reflected quietly after hearing his story. — So that’s what happened?

She handed him another folded sheet, and he placed it exactly where she had shown him.

— Yeah. Pretty dumb, right? — he asked, his voice trailing off into a timid tone.

— Nah. I can see where you’re coming from — her voice was surprisingly soft.

— Really? — Yuri blinked, caught off guard by her lack of judgment.

— Yeah. I mean… it is a little bit dumb — she teased, but her expression stayed kind. — But I was the same way. Back when I was still sick, I always thought that chasing a dream would just make my parents pity me. On top of making me feel like a burden.

Yuri stacked the last of the towels, listening intently as Ana kept talking.

— Only to find out after my surgery that I was the only one thinking like that — Ana said, first pointing toward her scar and then toward Yuri. — I’d bet it’s the same with your parents. They absolutely don’t blame you for any of that.

— Maybe… — Yuri replied, his gaze drifting toward the wall, his voice thick with doubt. — But it doesn’t change much.

Ana studied his face, her curiosity piqued.

— Because I do.

He stayed lost in thought for a moment after saying it out loud—whether out of shame or lingering sadness, he wasn't sure. The silence lasted until Ana gave him a friendly nudge, snapping him back to reality.

— Geez! Loosen up, would you? — She laughed, instantly dispelling the heavy tension. — Who said things must change?

Once again, Yuri was caught off guard by her reaction. Ana hopped down from the counter.

— They trusted you enough to let you take care of the entire resort, didn’t they? — she asked. She didn't wait for him to respond before continuing. — And that was after the accident. So, if they trust you now, what makes you think they didn’t before?

For the past few months, Yuri had been hardening himself, preparing not to question his decision when the deadline finally came. Instinctively, he shrugged in a failed attempt to dodge her question.

— All I’m saying is, maybe you don’t need to change anything to meet their expectations — she said, walking past him. She stood before the linen closet and gave a gentle knock on the door he had just closed. — And yet, you can still help them.

Still mentally trying to dismiss her words, Yuri quickly tried to justify himself.

— It’s different. That was just what I promised them.

Ana thought for a second before a smile spread across her face.

— Let’s make another promise then. — She held up a closed fist, her pinky finger extended toward him. — Since we both know you won't break it. Right?

Yuri let out a startled laugh, surprised by her childish behavior, yet intrigued nonetheless.

— What promise? — he asked.

— Come on. — She wiggled her pinky, inviting him. — Don't you trust me?

Entertained by her friendly banter, he locked his own pinky with hers, letting out a small sigh of surrender.

— That's more like it. — Her smile grew even wider. — Now, you can’t break this one either, okay?

— Sure. So, what is it? — he asked, captivated by her radiance.

— You promise to be less stubborn from now on. — She looked directly into Yuri’s eyes, locking her pinky even tighter against his.

Yuri stared back at her, squinting his eyes and pretending to be offended for a moment. Even if he tried, he couldn’t just magically dismiss everything she had said. Even more importantly, he remembered the lily bulb she had given him—a piece of her own dream—and asked him to look after.

Ana hadn’t interrogated him once since they met again. Instead, she just listened to whatever he wanted to share. Even so, she had offered him comfort when she noticed something was wrong, waiting patiently until he was ready to open up on his own.

Yuri couldn't help but compare the two moments. Just like the first time, deep down, he realized this was something he wanted to accept. But unlike before, the lingering discomfort he was left with seemed to dissipate.

— Okay, then. — A gentle laugh escaped him. — I promise I’ll try.

They both smiled, shaking their locked pinkies like a proper handshake. After that, they closed up the laundry room and walked together toward the parking lot where her scooter was waiting.

— And what about your crush? Will you be fine? — she asked, her voice still laced with that teasing tone.

— I guess so. I mean… she knows how I feel about the whole resort thing.

Ana nudged him with her elbow.

— So you don’t deny the crush, huh? — She giggled. — Does she know how you feel about her, too?

Yuri gave her a side-eye, realizing it was pointless to keep hiding it now.

— Yeah, yeah, I did have a “crush” on her! Happy? And no, she didn’t know about it — he admitted with a heavy sigh.

— Huh? Why not? — she asked, sounding genuinely disappointed.

— I don’t know… I mean… I just don’t know, you know? — he stammered, unable to find a clear answer.

— What? No! I do not know. Have you even told her? — she exclaimed, her tone full of indignation.

— No… — He handed Ana her backpack as they arrived at her scooter. — Besides, I’m already over it. We’re just good friends now.

Ana took the backpack and slid it on.

— I don’t know about that, pal. Maybe she has a crush on you. — She fixed her hair and hopped onto her scooter. — She asked you to go out with her, didn’t she?

— Well, yeah! As friends, though — he explained. — If I asked you to go out with me, would that mean I have a crush on you?

— Do you? — Ana asked, a mocking expression dancing on her face.

— No, Ana! That’s the whole point! — he burst out, his face flushing a deep red.

Ana laughed it off as she taxied her scooter, preparing to head out.

— If you say so. — She paused for a moment before leaving the resort. — All I’m saying is that even though I know what you’re trying to do, not everything needs to stay in the past.

She blew a few mock kisses into the air toward him as the scooter began to roll toward the exit.

— B’bye! Thanks for the help. Good night!

Yuri waved at her until she disappeared onto the highway. He sat on the front porch steps of his home for a moment, enjoying the cool breeze of the hot summer night before heading inside.

“I should explain to Emili what happened”, he thought. It seemed like the most sensible thing to do. But as soon as he pulled his phone from his pocket, a notification on his lock screen caught him by surprise.

“Emili: Are you free tomorrow morning? - 08:26 PM”