Silent Goodbyes

CHAPTER-20

The apartment smelled faintly of coffee and the lingering warmth of the afternoon sun filtering through the blinds. I watched her from the kitchen counter as she perched on the edge of the sofa, fingers absently tracing the rim of her mug. Even in casual clothes, hair pulled loosely behind her ears, she radiated this quiet intensity that always made my chest tighten.

“You look tired,” I said softly, trying not to betray the tension coiling inside me.

She shrugged, eyes soft, glancing at me with that small, almost imperceptible smile that always made my stomach flip. “It’s been… a lot lately. Finals. Graduation. Everything.”

I nodded, understanding more than she knew. “Yeah… I get it. But I’m glad you’re here. For a little while, at least.”

Her gaze softened, and she leaned slightly toward me, the warmth of her presence filling the space. We had spent hours before like this, moments that didn’t need words but carried their own gravity. We had walked streets together, shared coffee, stolen laughter. But now, today, there was a heaviness I couldn’t shake.

She shifted slightly on the sofa and looked up at me. “Issei…”

I swallowed hard, unsure of what to say. There was nothing I could tell her. Nothing that wouldn’t complicate her life even more. The label, her rising fame, the unavoidable scrutiny, they were all threads I couldn’t untangle for her. And so, I let the moment breathe without breaking it.

“Stay here a little longer?” she asked quietly, almost hesitantly.

I nodded. “Of course.”

We sank into silence, letting it stretch between us. I could feel the steady rhythm of her breathing, the way her fingers occasionally brushed mine. It was small and intimate, a quiet anchor in a world that had grown louder and harsher overnight. I wanted to memorize every detail. 

The slope of her shoulder, the way her hair fell across her face, the faint scent of vanilla on her sweater.

She leaned forward, resting her forehead against mine, and I closed my eyes. My chest ached with unspoken words, with the truth I could not voice. I couldn’t stay. Not if I wanted her to thrive. Not if I wanted to protect her from the complications I carried like shadows trailing behind me.

“I don’t want this to end,” I murmured, my voice betraying the tension I had tried to mask.

“I don’t either,” she whispered, a quiet echo of my own heart.

I held her hand gently, letting my thumb trace small circles over her knuckles. The simplicity of it was almost cruel because I knew what would come next. I wanted her to leave thinking everything was fine. I wanted her to leave smiling, believing we would see each other again, without the weight of my choice pressing on her.

She tilted her head up slightly, searching my eyes. Her lips brushed mine briefly, hesitant, soft, almost questioning. And then she pressed a little closer, and I gave in, letting my lips meet hers fully, slowly, deliberately. It was gentle, intimate, and aching with everything I didn’t say.

Her hands found my shoulders as mine rested lightly against her back. The kiss lingered, soft but searing, a quiet punctuation to all the stolen moments we’d shared. When we finally broke apart, she rested her forehead against mine again, breathing shallow, eyes bright.

“I… I could stay like this forever,” she whispered.

“Me too,” I admitted softly, my voice low, almost lost in the hum of the apartment.

Eventually, she pulled back slightly, eyes glistening faintly. “I should get going,” she said softly, though I could see the reluctance in her posture.

I nodded, forcing a calmness I did not feel. “Yeah… I’ll walk you out.”

She rose, brushing her hair behind her ear. Our hands found each other again instinctively, holding for a brief moment. I let her go with a squeeze of reassurance, but my chest tightened as if I had just let something irretrievably slip.

At the door, she turned to me, eyes bright and unsteady. “Thanks for today… for this. For everything.”

I smiled, the warmth in my chest colliding with the ache in my stomach. “Anytime,” I said softly, as if that could cover everything I wasn’t saying.

She stepped out, and I watched her disappear down the hall, shoulders squared, trying to appear normal. I didn’t follow. Not yet. Not in the way she would notice.

Once the door clicked shut behind her, I moved quickly to the small desk by the window. There, I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote a short note, deliberate and careful, knowing she would find it after I was gone:

"Kana,
I had to step away for a while. Please don’t worry. Keep being amazing, keep singing, and living your life the way only you can.
I know it's sudden but I know you are smart enough to understand what I am trying to do :)
I’ll wait in the park again someday… I cannot tell you when, but I will.
-Issei"

I folded the note and left it on the counter, in plain sight, where she would see it the next time she came back. No explanation beyond that, just the truth I could give without complicating her life further.

The sky outside darkened into a soft indigo. Streetlights flickered on one by one, casting pale halos over the pavement. I slipped on my coat, shouldered my bag, and took one final look around the apartment. Her presence lingered in every corner, a warmth I could never erase.

The hallway was empty, silent except for the echo of my own footsteps. I didn’t look back.

The city outside hummed with life, oblivious to the small, private decision that had just unfolded. I walked toward the station, each step heavier than the last. My heart ached with the thought of her, but I knew that staying would only complicate her life. I had to step away, quietly, for her sake.

The train arrived, doors sliding open with a soft hiss. I stepped inside, choosing a corner seat, shoulders hunched, eyes fixed on the passing lights outside. The city blurred by, a mix of neon and streetlamps, and with every block, I felt the quiet weight of the choice I had made.

I didn’t call. I didn’t text. There was no verbal goodbye, no lingering words. Just the note, a promise, and the memory of the kiss we had shared... 

a quiet flame I would carry with me, unseen and unspoken.

As the train carried me farther from the city, from her, from the world we had shared in fragments, I allowed myself a final thought, quiet and unspoken:

No matter where I go, she will always be part of me. And perhaps someday, when the world allows it, we will find each other again. Until then… I simply carry the memory.

The city faded behind me, and I let the night swallow my quiet footsteps, a soft promise lingering in my chest, unseen, unspoken, yet real.

END CHAPTER-20