Wedding Crasher

On the hills, halfway up the torii gates, a man was confronted by a giant soldier. He stood at least four meters high, wielding a naginata that seemed more suited to cleaving dragons than horses, and spoke only silence from behind his cruel faced mask. However, his intention was clear: kill me or die here. The man, already covered in blood, saw this clear as day, and decided, ‘Nah i’m already tired.’ and turned away. But as he stepped down, there was a pain shooting from the top of his head, right down to his pelvis. Regret would have drifted through his mind if there hadn’t been a blade that had gone right through it. A headache instead. But no darkness. “ “Life is action and action is but a string,” mused Hitode, stumbling into the fishmonger’s shop, clutching his head. “As we cross each other in a tangle, we dare call it a tapestry.” “Take off your shoes, this is supposed to be a clean place. I already have issues with stray cats–”Kenichi looked at his shabbily dressed friend, his receding hairline reminding him of the fish that he had just spiked in the skull. “Have you been drinking again?” asked Kenichi. “No, I haven’t slept in three days.” said Hitode, replacing his shoes. He winced as his friend jammed a rod through the fish's spine. “I feel exactly like that little guy in your hands.” “What were you doing?” “Drinking.” “Get out.” “Can I have a snack first?” asked Hitode, eyeing the seabream in the muscular man’s hands. Kenichi squinted at the dirty man across from him, and brandished his knife. “I think the Yanagiba might be better for that-” Kenichi stabbed the blade into the cutting board. “Hmm, I think you’re right.” He pulled out a long slender blade from his set of knives. “It cuts so cleanly through meat—I’ve always wondered what it would do to a person.” Hitode laughed nervously, eyeing the exit . “Maybe I’ll just wait outside.” “But if you leave, who’s going to eat this?” Kenichi was holding a plate of neatly sliced sashimi, arranged in a gorgeous half moon. Hitode looked down and then smiled at the fishmonger. “You’re such a softy.” “Do you want it or not?” blushed Kenichi, looking away. “Eat it quickly, because i’m going to need that plate.” “Mhmm.” Kenichi sighed. But he didn’t mind if his friend was happy. Almost too happy even. It almost sounded like he was purring…wait. Kenichi looked back again. “Oi!” “What?” asked Hitode, as he clutched like an infant in his arms a large fat tabby cat. “I promised him I’d stea–share some for him if you gave me any.” The cat purred, licking the bits of sea bream from its lips. The two creatures shared a self-satisfied grin. For a brief moment, the two were in the air. Never had they known the joy of flight! But only for a moment as they landed heavily on concrete. “You’re really strong.” wheezed Hitode from the dirt. “Nyaa!” agreed the cat. Kenichi slammed the door on both of them. “So I’ll see you later?” called out Hitode. A pair of shoes smacked Hitode in the face. “Don’t be late for dinner.” yelled Kenichi, before slamming the door again. Hitode smirked. “Heh, guess it’s just you and me now, ca-” The cat had disappeared too. “Traitor!” he cried out to the blue sky. He wandered about the city, stomach still grumbling. It would have been a beautiful day if it weren’t for his headache…or the cars, or the buildings—he hadn’t walked fifty paces and he was already vaguely lost. They sprouted up faster than trees and were torn down and rebuilt in half the time. As Hitode walked through the metro, he caught a glimpse of a creature in tinted glass:It was dressed in a heavy green coat so weathered it was brown, wrapped in a heavily tattered flannel scarf. His face was so smudged, it was hard to believe it wasn’t a mask. The skin’s color seemed to split ever so slightly. Looking at the glass he could see, people were moving around this creature in a large berth, not unlike a river winds around an ugly stone. “I think I just lost my appetite,” he grumbled to his own reflection. It replied with a wet splash. “Rude.” Another splash. And then another. Hitode had to look up at the strange split-sky: The sun was still shining, all the while the rain caught along its golden rays. Hitode grinned. “Nevermind. Appetite’s back.” He watched as the rain scattered all the people away, cleaning the streets into solitude. And as the golden lighted raindrops hit his skin, it too washed away his reflection. “Congratulations,” he whispered, stepping through the mirror now that there was nobody blocking his way. It’s not much different on the other side—that is until you look over the edge. The gaps between reflections are much larger than you’d think, and the world Hitode just stepped in was more fantastic than you could ever know. All about him, a parade of a hundred or so spirits danced along, with skin colored all the shades that a sunset could be, clothed in cloaks and capes of mist, fire, cloud and leaf. Hitode did not need to ask what they were celebrating. Everyone’s heard this story once or twice: When it rains while shining, it’s a fox’s wedding. Here in the spirit world, however, it was not raining. Over an empty distorted road, the water was intertwined with the sun, forming an iridescent roof over the entire congregation. One whiff of the air and he could tell, the reception had already started. Hitode was not going to waste this opportunity, but he could see there would be several obstacles in his way. First, would be the staff. Although it should be read as “the guard”. Though he was dressed quite nicely, with a dark blue haori to complement his naturally burgundy skin, his large kanabō matched him much better, especially with the dried red along the club’s metal exterior. Fortunately, Hitode had a plan. A very poorly dressed spirit with a large cardboard head shaped like a fish that almostlooked like it had just been glued together had moved to the front of the line. “H-hi,” it said, anxiously. The large red oni bent down to look at the smaller spirit. He squinted his bloodshot eyes. “What are you?” he barked. The little spirit yelped, “I’m a c-c-cardboard spirit.” “Never heard of you.” sneered the oni. “C-cardboard is a new thing…sir. I’m a new god.” The oni sniffed the air. Oni are notorious for having terrible eyesight, however, they do have an amazing sense of smell. It’s so good in fact that it can smell fear, guilt, regret, even sin which—unfortunately at a wedding—came in spades.Embarrassed, the oni just shook his head, “Fine, I’ll take your word for it. Just hand me the offering and you may greet the bride and groom.” “Oh yes! The offering. Right away!” This was the second obstacle. The traditional offering at any Japanese wedding would be an odd amount of money enclosed in an envelope. Two things which Hitode never had on hand. But he did always have a plan. “Heh, I think I misplaced my offering,” said the little spirit.“What!?” snarled the oni, his tusks extending out like a rabid animal.The cardboard spirit yelped. “I could have s-s-sworn I put it in my pocket.”The shabby spirit looked up with anxious eyes. “M-maybe you could just let it slide just this once?” “Hmm I don’t really prefer sliding. I much prefer flying instead.” “W-w-w-waii” there was a light thud as the cardboard spirit was sent flying by the ogre club. Luckily, it was mostly cardboard. Unfortunately, it was still an oni club. The spirit lay there in quiet agony, cursing fate. Meanwhile, a cheerful Hitode strode to the front of the line. “Hey, Aka!” The red oni suddenly broke into a wide smile. “Hitode! How are you, friend?”“Oh the usual,” smiled Hitode. “I see the wedding planning business really took off for you. I knew you could do it.” “Well, not without some help.” Aka glanced at the long line behind Hitode and cleared his throat. “Do you have your offering?” “Would I be your friend if I didn’t?” Hitode pulled out a distinct envelope made entirely out of cardboard that clearly wasn’t his. The oni just chuckled. “You’re lucky I was already paid for this event. Try not to destroy everything though. But also…Enjoy!” He gave him a light bow and walked in. Hitode smirked. His special skills after all were: Earnestness and The Power of Friendship—by being friendly and knowing people at places, Hitode can go anywhere he wants. It also helps that he’s pretty light fingered. However, here came the hard part. He was no longer in the presence of anyone he knew. It didn’t help that he wasn’t dressed nicely…or that he looked human. Already he was catching some nasty looks from the other guests. An indignant tengu stopped him, big nose bearing down over Hitode. “Excuse me, who are you and what is your relationship to the groom?”Many yokai in earshot heard this and crowded to see the new fuss. A normal human would have faltered, but Hitode smirked. He still had another special skill up his sleeve: Lying shamelessly. It pairs powerfully with his skill of Earnestness, making him seem entirely genuine. “I am a local Nurarihyon.” he said, bowing respectfully. “I just wanted to politely greet whomever was having a wonderful wedding in our area.” This answer was enough to satisfy many of the onlookers back into milling about the venue, but not the tengu. His large nostrils flared. “Oh lucky you! I just so happen to know another Nurarihyon who lives in the area. You should know him, right?” A silent scream built up behind Hitode’s smile. “Y-yup.” “Let me get him then.” As the tengu shuffled off to get his friend, Hitode debated with himself if he should get lost in the crowd, or just run out of the party. But then his stomach grumbled, his resolve wavered. His head was beginning to throb worse. In that moment of lapse, the tengu returned, this time with a decrepit looking creature in tow, who was eating a bit of shrimp“Head sore with guilt, is it?” “No, I was just excited to see someone I know,” said Hitode. “Who?” asked the old creature munching on his food beside the tengu. They were dressed quite similarly, one a little more old-school than the other, and one forehead definitely longer than the other—but there was definitely a similarity. As the old spirit's eyes met with Hitode's, his eyes suddenly widened with joy. “Grandson!” “Grandpa!” They embraced, not knowing a single thing about one another, which was enough to send the cantankerous tengu away. “Game recognizes game.” grinned the Nurarihyon, extending his fist “Free food for life.” agreed Hitode, bumping fists. And finally, the last hurdle: The greeting of the wedded. Normally, at Yokai weddings, strangers can come and go, so long as they pay the offering and their respects, they usually have free reign at celebrations. However, nothing is truly normal with Yokai. Ayakashi of any ilk are unpredictable both in mood. But Hitode is many things—One of those being prepared. Sure, he does not have money or good decisions in his back pocket, but in his front jacket he always makes sure to pack a mirror to these kinds of events. Especially for the kitsune. He made his way towards their table. He had felt eyes on him the moment he stepped into the reception area. In fact, he felt there was something ever so slightly strange with the crowd. Although, Hitode just wasn’t sure what. Hitode couldn’t make out the wedded couple from their table. There was a slight veil obscuring them, with only the movement of shadows indicating anyone was there. As he stared into the dark, he could feel those wily eyes looking back. While usually beautiful, there was an inherent danger with foxes: Fangs, Claws, Fire, Illusions. But more than all of that, they carry a base cunning, and an inherent love for deceit that bordered on maleficence. But he knew better than to let his fear known. It was more polite to smile and he certainly enjoyed smiling more, in spite of his raging headache. “I wish to congratulate you greatly on your union.” “Thanks, dude. It’s like…really cool, bro. Yeah.” Hitode’s face twitched. He was sure it was some fox’s ploy to confuse him. But it would take a lot more than that to break him. He was stone. “Well, I’m glad to hear that Mr…” The attendants lifted the veil and Hitode his head, ready to meet the fox. “..Horse?” His stone face shattered. The groom was, in fact, a horse.