Explosive Divorce

He finally reached the end of the steps and yet the mountain climbed ever higher. He looked behind him on the word where giants stepped and dragons slithered across like worms.

A world like this was naked and cold and covered in wounds. He did not know how to make it heal. He had yet to fully heal himself. The pain only grew.

Nurarihyon led them to an alley that was no more than a gap the size of a human body between two buildings.

“You’re sure we can get a divorce here?” asked Hitomi.

“Well, it’s no guarantee but it beats having to go to city hall with all their bureaucracy.”

Hitomi sighed.

“Also, do you really wanna be seen with this guy as your husband.”

“Hey!” Hitode took his finger out of his nose.

Aka remembered when he and his brother used to live on a mountain. They subsisted off travelers and raiding farms for livestock. It was simple, but there was no satisfaction behind it.

So it took a bit of money, obviously stolen from lost merchants and he used it to start his own business. “Big Brother’s Beatdown”: A romance assistance company where unsuspecting women would be hauled into the forest to a hired body who would guard the woman until their “hero”, read as client, would come and save the day.

Unfortunately, this was not the soundest business model as the women often fell in love with their guards and so the paying client would end up dying to the guard.

Running out of cash and ideas, Aka almost gave up. That was until a very strange man saw him and said, “Why not just become a matchmaking service?”

A few days later, a few bags of money showed up on their doorstep as seed money for

the business.

A hundred years later, they were a successful matchmaking/wedding planning company

certified by the testimonies of more than a thousand local yokai.

Aka sat proudly at his desk, changing his portion of the world, when the man who gave him that golden advice walked through his door. And with a woman at that!

“Hitode-san! Welcome to Big Brother’s Babymakers. Owned and run by two oni brothers. Come to get married with a fine young bride I see”

“Umm, I don’t know you…”

“Ah one of your silly memory lapses I see.”

The large oni looked over his desk. “Miss Hitomi? You got remarried? So quick-I mean how…hot blooded to marry your husband’s killer..

“I didn’t get remarried. Still the first one, apparently.” said Hitomi.

“Ah, yes.” The oni took a second. “Wait, what?”

“We’re here for an annulment” said

“Mmm.”

“Do you even do annulments?” asked Hitomi.

“Actually, that’s one of our more used packages.”

Aka dropped a giant slate describing their packages.

“Sometimes you gotta break something to put it back together.”

“What’s your cheapest package?” asked Hitode.

“Ever the pragmatist.” smiled Aka, shining his big white tusks. “Ao, please grab me Hitode’s file from storage.”

“How do you fit everything in here?” asked Hitomi.

“Well, us yokai just need to know how to stretch space out. We can live almost anywhere: in corners, under beds, in closets, even in your hearts and dreams.”

A blue oni suddenly appeared holding an old scroll that was little more than a rolled up sheet of paper.

The oni unfurled it and blew a massive cloud of dust into the air.

“How old are you?” asked Hitomi.

“That should have been discussed before the marriage,” said Nurarihyon.

“I still have Hitomi’s file right here.” said Aka. “So we will need several documents signed here–”

He slammed down two large stacks of paper before the two of them.

“I trust you both brought your seals?”

Hitode sighed and pulled a knife from his pocket.

Ao and Aka both raised their kanabo..

Hitode’s eyes furrowed together as he popped out the bottom of his knife handle.

“You guys act like I’m going to try to kill everyone.” he said, revealing the bottom of his knife. “It’s just a little knife.”

“Yes, of course. Sorry.” the two oni set their clubs down.

Hitomi looked at the giant stack of papers

“I thought you said I wouldn’t have to deal with the bureaucracy.”

Nurarihyon shook his head. “I said you wouldn’t have to deal with mindless bureaucracy over there. It’s much cooler over here. How many people can say they’ve had their divorce managed by two oni.”

“More than you think,” scoffed Ao. Aka shoved him in the ribs.

An hour of signatures, and a gallon of ink later, Aka picked up the papers and began reviewing their signatures.

“For a business run by yokai, I would have expected a more lawless and barbaric sort of set up.”

“Rude,” said Ao.

“Fair,” said Aka. “And it really was for a while. It definitely is survival of the fittest.”

“It’s just that there’s a much bigger and fitter beast out there.” said Ao.

“Who?”

“It’s important to remember where you came from,” said Aka.

“Say that again?” asked Hitomi.

Aka ignored her. “Here are your documents, now this.” He lifted his kanabo above his head. “I must now break the sacrament of marriage.”

He smashed downwards, echoing outwards with a heavy crash.

Hitomi looked up to see the club that was stopped in its tracks, cracks webbed along its body.

“Huh, that’s new.”

“What is?”

“I cant complete the divorce unless all of you is fully consenting”

“What do you mean-” started Hitode when Hitomi suddenly grabbed him.
“Consent!” she slapped him. “Consent!” She slapped him again.

“Do it!”

She raised her had again only to be stopped by Ao.

“I’m afraid that isn’t how it works, Miss Hitomi.”

She slapped him one more time.

“Are you sure?”

“Afraid so. He’s completely earnest about it I’m afraid. There’s just something slightly amiss about it.”

She let go of his coat.

“Are you sure you have all of you with you, Hitode-san?” asked Aka.
Try to think about it.”

“Hmm…alright I’ll try.”

He squatted down on the ground. And as he closed his eyes to think, he fell forward, landing face first on the floor.

“Not really one for thinking, is he?”

Blood started pooling from under him.

“Is he dying?”

“He can’t.”

“That’s what he keeps saying.”

“You’ve seen it yourself, haven’t you?”

“Privileged information,” said Ao.

“You guys aren’t doctors or lawyers.” Hitomi crossed her arms.

“Well, we aren’t snitches either.”

“What does your boss know?”

“He wouldn’t say,” said Ao.

Aka punched him in the gut.

“I thought this place was owned and run by onii.”

“Well…”

Nurarihyon stepped in front of them. “Now, now, don’t give them such a hard time-”

“Thank you, Nura.”

“-because that’s my job.”

“What..?”

He dragged the two demons to another room.

Hitomi sighed and sat down beside Hitode. She did not hate him so much while he was bleeding out on the ground.

He suddenly shot back up—nose broken and dripping fast. Hitomi passed him a tissue.

“Were you able to think about it?’

“Think about what?”

“So you just broke your face for nothing?”

The other yokai walked back in, two of them noticeably bruised and battered.

“Oh hey, Nura. Hey Aka and Ao.”

“You remember them now?”

He clutched his head. “Not super fondly.”

“Hey,” pouted Aka.

“So did you remember where you left your things?”

“I saw some dark place. It was also pretty wet…Can I have a cookie?”

“What place is dark and wet in Osaka?”

Nurarihyon placed a sheet of paper beside them.

“This should be the spot.”

A city is planned for but never truly known. You can look at your hand day by day and never know the color of the bones beneath, nor the path of their arteries and veins. But you can trust the blood to run, so long as your hand can make a fist.

There were veins in the land long before the city ran. Here, artificial tubes cut through.That was where they walked, right above secrets, led by Nura as a cat.

The tracks were old and quite rusted. Water was dripping from somewhere not too far in.

“Are we close to the ocean?’ asked Hitomi.

“I think I smell the salt too.”

“Well, we’ll try to avoid that. I don’t want to get stuck counting.”

“Do you remember this place, Hitode?”

“I remember this scent…that’s all.”

The floor slowly turned from concrete to gravel, the sound of water growing louder and louder. The tracks disappeared and the tunnels narrowed as they slowly drifted downward.

Although they drifted deeper into the dark, there was a persistent light that shone ahead.

“Be careful,” whispered Hitomi. “That’s not a normal light.”

It opened up into a room lit by a single floating wisp of flame. The light seemed to shift and morph into a grim face. It looked down at them with both sorrow and anger.

“Sogenbi. Monk’s fire.” whispered Nurarihyon. “This is a place of great tragedy.”

Right beneath the light, there was a metal hatch.

Hitode’s head began to pulse.

“That’s it. That’s where we have to go.”

Blood began to drip onto the ground from his eyes.

Nura looked back at Hitomi. “Are you sure you don’t want to just stay married? It’s easier than we’ll have to do next.”

“Let’s just get this over with-” Hitode reached over to the hatch.

“Wait!” yelled Nura.

The fire began to flash, eyes glowing red with hate. Nura grabbed the flames with his hands and held it tight.

“Go down ahead. I’ll deal with this.”

It fought with him, biting and burning his hands, but he held it down, not letting even a tongue escape his grasp.

Hitomi and Hitode opened the hatch. It was a long ladder leading into darkness.

“Thank you, Nura.” said Hitode as Hitomi began to climb down.

“It’s been an honor.”

Hitode climbed after Hitomi.

“Are you guys alright?” asked Nura.

“Yeah!” said Hitode, “We’re about halfway down.”

“Alright, that’s good. This fire is hot but not much hotter than me”

“Nura? May I ask you a question?”

.”What is it?”

“Why have you been so helpful to us?”

Nura’s bulbous silhouette popped up above them.

“I haven’t.”

There was a loud clang as the hatch closed above them, and locked shut. Amidst the sudden dark, a spark of red began to flash and bloom with a silent roar.

“Hitomi, get ready to jump.”

“What?”

The roar turned into a scream.
“Jump now!”