Chapter 47: Alcohol IS a Solution

It’s been a week since I smoked the Alarians, but I don’t think word has reached Sante about the Prince's nosedive. The bigger problem is that half the nobles sent their children out of the country, so school is out for the next month. I promised my family I would make the trip back home, but I'd rather have some fun.

It’s pretty fun killing bandits, but fighting an army is draining. Meeting Victoria was really the only good thing to come out of this. Once she’s trained up, we could act like spies and blow up the church. I bet they have a hidden archive I could steal – maybe there are holy recipes? Or holy potions that heal every illness! I have a month.. maybe the holy city would be a good place to stop.

Knock Knock

Oh! Jen must be back!

I walk to the door of my dorm room and swing it open excitedly. Jen stands there with her shiny dark hair in a high ponytail. 

“Jen! I’m glad you’re back – how was visiting home?” I ask.

Jen startles slightly at my volume.

“Jeez, you’re excited today..” she says with a flinch, “home was home, nothing changes there,” she adds.

“It’s good that some things don’t change,” I reply.

“Maybe, but it’s boring, that’s why I came to the capital in the first place,” Jen says as she meets my gaze.

That’s right, she never wanted to go back. Which means I’ll have lots of time to bother her.

“Well, come in, we can catch up more. I’ve missed you,” I say with a warm smile.

“R-right,” Jen replies shyly and tucks her head before walking through the door.

Jen tells me about her family. She has two younger brothers who do handyman work around their parents’ inn. Her mother and father are both skilled cooks who bicker about who gets to cook and who is stuck working reception for guests. I think it sounds nice, not that I give my family the attention they deserve either.

A lull in the conversation gives me the opportunity I’ve been waiting for.

“Jen, there’s something I was hoping we could talk about,” I say.

“Wha-“ Jen looks up at me, her face riddled with concern. She swallows hard and steadies herself. “What would you like to talk about?” she asks quietly.

“You’ve taught me everything I’ve wanted to learn about baking, so I was think-“

Her eyes fall to the floor as she interrupts me.

“It’s ok, Alfred.. I can return the extra you’ve paid me, this has been a dream job, and I can’t expect to earn so much for so little work anyway..” she says.

I’m going to need to teach her about self-esteem..

“Ignoring that..” I say calmly, “What do you think about starting a restaurant in the capital?” I ask.

Jen picks her head up and looks at me with a blank expression. Then a light kicks on in the back of her purple eyes.

“A restaurant?” she asks.

“You said it’d be hard to get another job in the capital, but what if we made you a job?” I ask, “If you don’t want to, I’ll rehire you as my general cooking instructor, and we can just work on new recipes,” I add.

“I.. Alfred, it would be expensive,” she says as the light in her eyes flickers, “I’ve saved most of what you’ve paid me, but putting together a kitchen is prohibitively expensive.. and you’ve paid me more than I deserve already,” she adds with a shake of her head.

“I’ve already thought about all of that,” I reply confidently, “I’ve made most of the smaller cooking wares you’ll need, and I can create magic items to power ovens, burners, and fryers.”

“You can make them?” Jen asks, befuddled, and cocks her head.

“It’d be a bit easier to show you.. the academy has cancelled classes for the month, would you take a little trip with me?” I ask curiously.

“Oh, um.. I don’t mind,” Jen replies shyly and turns to the side, “where do you want to go?” she asks.

“We’ll be fruit hunting!” I exclaim, “There’s supposed to be a small green fruit that grows in the rocky areas above Sante’s western farm land. From the descriptions I’ve read, it could serve as a replacement for the red tomatoes we use in a lot of sauces.”

Excitement breaks through on Jen’s face, and she starts to smile. She paces back and forth in front of me with a hand on her chin.

“If we could replicate the flavor with a local fruit.. but it’s wild – it would need to be cultivated,” she mumbles, “but if it grows in rocky areas, then it would be cheap to buy a plot of land..”

“Aha, I’m glad you’re excited about it too,” I say.

“Huh,” Jen stops and looks at me, “sorry I lost myself for a moment,” she adds and starts turning red.

“It’s fine. When could you be ready to leave?” I ask.

“Tonight!” Jen nearly shouts, “erm I could be ready by tonight.”

“Great, why don’t you pack and meet me in the clothing district? I promised some friends I would pick out clothing for them, but I have no sense of fashion,” I say.

“Oh, um.. it might be better to have a noble friend help with that..” Jen replies shamefully.

“The friends these are for aren’t nobles, they asked for functional clothing, and my first thought was all black hunting attire.. but they’re women, so I’m worried they would be disappointed with that..” I say.

“Women..” Jen mouths the words without speaking them before looking up at me, “Alright then, let’s meet in the shopping district.”

We meet just after dinner time and start working our way through Sante’s stores. Only Kara asked for clothing, but Victoria probably needs some, and I’ve never seen Selena wearing something that could be described as new. Jen helps me pick out around 10 outfits for each of them. Many of them can be layered for colder weather, and the quality of each is top-notch. The last store on the block is fancier than the rest, and Jen looks like an excited little girl when we walk in.

“Huwaoh! Look at these dresses, Alfred!” she says.

The walls are lined with fabrics that can be tailored into custom dresses, and the store itself is filled with frilly attire. Jen holds up a red dress and shoots me an evil grin.

“I bet you’d like to see your lady friends in this..” she says in a teasing tone. The bust is so low cut it would make a baby drool, and I am said baby.

“Aha, not a chance,” I reply, “those girls are like a bunch of annoying little sisters I became attached to, I’m not buying them anything so revealing.”

“Oh..” Jen replies with surprise before smirking, “Then all we need here is undergarments,” she adds.

“Right.. could I give you a coin pouch and let you handle that..” I say awkwardly.

“I’ve never seen them, Alfred, how could I pick the proper sizes?” Jen asks.

“Isn’t there a one-size-fits-all option?” I ask in return.

Jen squints and gives me a sideways glance.

“I’ve never heard of such a thing..” she says.

Damn, they don’t have artificial stretchy fabrics here. That’s going on my list of things to recreate.

“Fine..” I concede the battle.

We walk to the back and pick out numerous undergarments - they’re not skimpy, so it’s easier to manage than I expected. On the way to checkout, I stop a store employee-

“Excuse me, Miss, would you please take my friend's measurements?” I ask and motion to Jen.

“Absolutely,” the woman replies and looks over to Jen, “you’re quite lovely, would you follow me?” she asks.

“A-Alfred! Why do I need to be measured?” Jen asks in protest.

“It’s a surprise, just go with it,” I reply with an evil smirk.

Jen is taken away while I pay for the undergarments and place a special order. We meet at the front of the store a little while later.

“Alfred..” she says quietly, “you shouldn’t be purchasing clothing for me.. it could reflect poorly on you.”

“Hmm,” I hum and examine Jen’s face. It’s hard to tell exactly what she’s thinking, “but I wanted to, and you know I don’t care about noble traditions.”

Jen looks up at me with a conflicted expression.

“Even if you don’t, others do, and your actions reflect on your family as well,” she says.

“Father won’t care, and Mother seemed to like you, so it’s fine,” I reply with a gentle smile. “Anyway, let’s go, it’ll be dark before we reach our destination if we don’t hurry,” I add and pull Jen by the hand towards an alley.

“Wha- Alfred, where are we going? The carriages are the other direction,” Jen protests.

I create a spatial opening and toss the purchased clothing inside. This makes Jen’s jaw bounce off the ground.

“Y-you – that? What?” she stutters while pointing at the air where the opening was.

“Aha, you’ll be thinking that a lot today,” I chuckle, “but we really are running late, may I carry you to our destination?” I ask earnestly and place my hand out before her.

“Carry?” Jen repeats the words, but doesn’t seem to be comprehending anything. She slowly extends her hand to touch mine, and I use it to twirl her into a bridal carry. I kick off the ground and put light refraction around us.

Jen inhales sharply as our elevation grows, she tucks her head into my chest and holds onto my clothing with trembling hands – but she doesn’t say a word. We’re traveling west, directly into the sunset. I look down and see Jen holding her eyes tightly shut.

“Jen, you should look ahead of us, there’s a nice view,” I say.

Jen opens her eyes and turns her head to face the orange horizon. There isn’t a cloud in the sky. As often as I fly, the view has never been this nice.

“It’s beautiful,” Jen says.

She keeps her eyes locked on the horizon until we start descending just north of the farmland covering Sante’s west.

“WAH Alfred! We’re in the air!” Jen yelps.

“We’ve been in the air for over an hour..” I reply, dumbstruck at her sudden realization.

“But I was looking at the sunset before and couldn’t tell! How are we in the air!?” she asks.

“I’m using magic to fly, it’s different from how birds do it, but the final result is the same,” I explain.

Jen shuts her eyes again and tucks her head into me. We land on the ground moments later.

“We’re on the ground, Jen, you can open your eyes,” I say.

Jen whips her head around and scans the area. She lets out a deep breath seeing that the sky is only above her. Tension releases from her entire body as she looks up at me.

“Alfred, why can you fly?” she asks.

“It’s a faster way to travel, it would’ve taken a week in a carriage to get here,” I explain.

“A week..” Jen mumbles in shock.

“We should set up camp – can I set you down?” I ask.

“OH ah yes,” Jen says as her cheeks flush red.

I set her down and start walking towards the top of the rocky hill we landed on. The rocks aren’t that dense, but they’re all quite dark. Earth magic can easily flatten out a little spot for the house.

Magic flows from my feet and into the earth. I compress the top of the rounded hill into a flat pedestal and create a large spatial opening over it that my house rises out of.

“Oh, it’s a dream.. I’m having a dream about my young noble employer taking me shopping, whisking me away through the sky, and making boulders appear and disappear.. I should go to church more..” Jen talks to herself while watching me. From her distance, the boulder house appears in one moment and disappears the next as its light refraction shell goes up.

“Not a dream, Jen!” I call back to her, but she can’t see me within the light refraction shell of the house.

“A-Alfred? Where are you?” Jen turns in every direction, but can’t find me.

I step out of the magic hiding the house, and appear a few steps away from her.

“Right in front of you, Jen, come with me, I’ll show you my house,” I say.

“You? Where? What house?” Jen’s brain has short-circuited. It would’ve been nicer of me to explain things ahead of time, but this is pretty funny.

“Follow me please..” I request and place a hand out to Jen. She begrudgingly takes it and follows behind me. As she crosses the magic shell, a large misshapen boulder appears where only hill and sky existed a moment ago.

“B-boulder..” she mumbles.

I lead Jen to the front door and show her inside.

“Do you want a tour?” I ask.

Jen’s eyes are wide to their limit as she looks around the room. First at the living area to the right with couches and a table, then the full kitchen and bar top on the left.

“Yes..” she says quietly.

I walk Jen through the first floor and make a point of showing off my brewing area in the smoke room, where I’m working on a citrus beer.

“Upstairs is a bathroom and rooms like the back of this floor have, but the real gem I saved for last,” I say with a smirk.

I lead Jen into the drying room that’s stocked with towels and benches, then into the bathing area. Steam rolls across the floor of the room from the hot and cold water baths being so close to each other.

“The right wall is lined with showers and soaps. Do you see the spell stones under these shower heads?” I ask Jen and point to the nearest shower. There’s a single spell stone pushed to the side under a metal shower head.

“I do..” she replies softly.

I click the spell stone into line with the shower head, and hot water flows from it instantly.

“Most of the appliances here run the same way; you click a single spell stone into place, and it’s able to draw from a large magic storage spell stone inside the house. The baths and anything that uses storage magic are exceptions since they’re always on and can’t be turned off,” I explain.

Jen places a hand under the hot stream of water. It runs down her arm and makes her porcelain skin glisten.

“If you like hot water, you should get in the bath, I can make dinner while you rest,” I say, interrupting Jen’s experience with the warm water.

She startles back to reality and turns to me.

“This isn’t a dream?” Jen asks seriously.

“Not a dream,” I say and shake my head, “this house is my best-kept secret, so I hope you’ll keep this to yourself.”

Jen’s serious face turns to one of exasperation.

“Alfred.. what the hell is all this!? You fly? You have hot water magic baths?? Where did you even pull this house from??? Was it in your ass?” Jen turns her confusion into frustration and lays it on me.

“I can use some interesting magic, but I don’t think I have a spell to fit this house in my ass..” I reply sarcastically.

Jen stomps up to me.

“This,” Jen motions wildly at everything around her, “this isn’t possible!” she cries.

“Jen, how about we sit in the living room, and I’ll get us some drinks?” I ask.

Jen huffs and crosses her arms.

“A stiff one for me!” she yells and marches back into the living room.

I follow her and pull cups from storage, then fill Jen’s with ice magic. I pour cider into mine and the strongest, darkest liquor I own into Jen’s. She watches me prepare the drinks and drops her head into her hands.

“Ice magic is rare..” she mumbles through her hands.

I pass Jen the glass of liquor and take a sip of my cider. Jen drinks half her glass in one go with a face that says she’s in pain. She places her cup down, and her face flushes alcohol-allergy red. Jen locks onto my eyes before speaking.

“I knew you had secrets.. but couldn’t you have shown me them a little at a time?” Jen asks, “This is a lot,” she adds.

“Would you have believed me?” I ask honestly and return Jen’s gaze.

“I-I don’t know..” she replies and sinks back into the couch.

“Plus, seeing your reactions to everything was funny..” I say quietly.

“It’s not funny!” Jen huffs, “My heart could’ve stopped at any moment!”

“Alright, my apologies, Jen, but we’re here now, so do you have any questions?” I ask.

“I have 1000 questions, possibly more,” Jen says seriously, “ok – how did the house appear and disappear?” she asks and leans forward.

“The house is kept in a spatial storage space. It disappeared after bringing it out because I have a spell stone at the front of the house that uses a sort of illusion magic to prevent it from being seen. Once the stone with that spell in it was out of spatial storage, it hid the house,” I explain.

“Illusion magic? Is that another rare magic like temporary spatial storage?” Jen asks.

“I don’t think anyone else can use it,” I reply, “I came up with it as a kid so I could sneak out without being seen. Do you know much about rare magics?” I ask.

“No, but I’ve had more time to read since I started working for you, so I’ve learned a bit..” Jen replies, “You really invented a magic as a child?” she asks with a grimace.

“I did,” I respond curtly.

Jen lets out a long sigh and sips her liquor again, this time not showing so much displeasure at the taste.

“You used it to sneak out of the house as a kid – does that mean your parents don’t know?” she asks.

“No one knows, you’re the first person to find out,” I answer with a smile.

“Wha- why me?” Jen asks in shock.

“It would be impossible to build your restaurant without using all kinds of magic..” I reply from the side of my mouth, then let out a small sigh, “But in all honesty, I’ve considered sharing with you before.”

Jen freezes for a moment, then looks into her glass.

“Thank you,” she says shyly, “I’m sorry that you have so many secrets, but you shouldn’t share them carelessly.. if I didn’t know you well, I don’t know how I would’ve reacted.”

“It’s fine, I trust you, Jen,” I reply, “we’ll have to be careful with what magic devices go in your kitchen once you hire employees though..”

“R-right.. you’re really going to help me build a restaurant?” Jen asks.

“Of course, I want you to stay in the capital, and we can share some of the recipes we’ve worked so hard on,” I answer with a beaming smile.

“Yea.. that’d be nice, Alfred,” Jen says in a nearly cracking voice. She rubs her eyes and pulls air through a wet nose before shaking her head and looking back up to me.

“So we’re going to find that fruit,” Jen says with determination.

“Yes, we are!” I reply with pride.

Whoever said alcohol isn’t the solution was dead wrong.

We eat a late dinner and drink for a time while Jen asks me all about magic and the house we’re in. We arrive back on the topic of the bathing area in short order.

“And the hot bath – it’s always hot?” Jen asks eagerly.

“It is, both baths are attached to a constantly running water supply and spatial storage openings that take in the old water at the same rate that new water enters the tubs. It’d be more efficient to have a magic item that cleans the water – but I don’t know of anything like that..” I explain.

“Right right..” Jen mutters.

“Do you want to take a hot bath?” I ask.

Jen’s eyes flash like college party black lights as she nods her head.

“Feel free, there are plenty of towels in the drying room, and the soaps in the bathing area are marked,” I say, “just be careful about staying in too long and getting dizzy.”

Jen hops to her feet, grabs a change of clothes, and scrambles into the bathing area.