Chapter Four

Chapter Four

Miranda had run hundreds of dungeons in the past thirteen years. More than she could ever possibly remember. None of them had been easy, and more than a few had nearly killed her. Despite that—or maybe because of it—all it took was one glance at the entrance to tell her that this one was going to be the worst of them all.

The entrance was hidden deep within a cave system, and they had only been able to reach it by crawling on their hands and knees for almost half a mile through a cavern that was barely three feet tall. And if that hadn’t been bad enough, most of that space was taken up by the underground stream that flowed out of the cave. Making their way through while carrying a torch would have been impossible. Fortunately, everyone in the party except for Aaron was able to cast the Brighteyes spell, so the cave was almost as bright as day anyway.

The stream had been shallow, but it only left them with about six inches of space between the surface of the water and the ceiling. That meant they had to choose between keeping their mouths and noses underwater so they could see where they were going, and tilting them back to take a breath.

It was especially bad for Aaron. Not only was he completely blind, but he had scarcely fit inside the cave at all. At one point, Derrick had stopped them all so he could double back and give the Neanderite an Orb of Retreat, with strict instructions that he was to use it to warp his overgrown backside out of there if he got stuck or into a position where he couldn’t raise his head to breathe.

Luckily for all of them, that hadn’t happened, but it still proved to be the most unpleasant, aggravating slog Miranda could recall.

When they’d finally emerged into a larger cavern almost an hour later, the party’s mood had soured noticeably. Miranda’s hat and cloak were both soaked, and despite not having a nose, Derrick was complaining about being trapped in such a small space with the smell of wet goat. Aaron didn’t complain, but that wasn’t uncommon for the Neandrite, who could go for days without saying a word when he wanted. Miranda could read the irritation in his eyes as he stood up, though, his waterlogged furs probably forty pounds heavier than they had been a few minutes ago. Elise stayed silent as well, miserably wringing the water out of her hat before setting it limply back on her head.

The chamber they’d found themselves in was barely ten feet wide, and nearly thirty feet tall. Here, the stream was being fed by a waterfall that plunged noisily into the pool below from a crack near the ceiling that was even smaller than the one they had just crawled through.

Derrick had cursed at the thought of having to force their way through it as well, and Miranda had silently agreed. Even for someone as thin as her, there was a serious risk of getting stuck and drowning in a passageway that small. And there was absolutely no way they were getting Aaron through that tiny gap.

Luckily for them all, Elise had proven to be the smartest one in the room when she’d stuck her head behind the curtain of water and discovered the passageway hidden behind it.

“Video game rule number one: always check behind the waterfall,” Miranda had chuckled at the look on Derrick’s face.

“Shut up, Miranda.”

Now they were making their way down the blessedly dry corridor. With some effort, they’d been able to bribe Makolo to come out and dry their clothes in exchange for a full day’s supply of rations. Derrick kept grumbling about that ”wicked little parasite,” but in Miranda’s estimation, not having to fight in wet clothes was worth a few pieces of jerky and hardtack. They’d even been able to light a torch for Aaron.

After traveling for a short ways, they came to another, even larger cavern—and the dungeon’s entrance.

While the rest of the party shuffled in behind her, Miranda went to stand in front of the dark, yawning portal with her hands on her hips. It was carved to look like a gigantic snake’s head, its jaw stretched open wide to swallow foolish adventurers like her whole. The walls had been carved as well, making it look like the room in which they stood was actually the snake’s gargantuan, scaly body coiled around them.

“We’re…not actually going to have to fight that thing, are we?” Elise asked, pointing a shaking finger at the nightmarish effigy.

Miranda couldn’t help but laugh, earning her a withering glare from Derrick. She had been doing this for so long that she could scarcely remember what her life had been like before the Remaking. She had never been that green, though…had she?

“Before we go in,” Derrick said, “everyone remember: this is a level thirty dungeon. We will be in danger the moment we step through that door. Don’t let your guard down for anything! Understand?”

Everyone nodded. As annoying as Derrick could be, Miranda knew he took the party’s safety very, very seriously.

“We’re a team,” he went on, his voice echoing through the underground chamber. “We watch each other’s backs. We work together. If somebody’s in trouble, we help them. Nobody is above helping the others. Understand?”

They nodded, and Derrick drew his slingshot, fitting an iron shuriken into its pouch. Brushing past Miranda, he took a moment to look into the serpent’s pitch black gullet. Then he took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and stepped inside.

“Let’s get this over with.”

The corridor was long and narrow, curving smoothly left and right at seemingly random intervals, almost as if they really had been swallowed by a giant snake.

Miranda’s Brighteyes spell let her see the intricate carvings on the walls, and she was completely unsurprised to see that they all depicted snakes. Hundreds of them wound their way through the passageway alongside the party, twisting and entwining with each other in patterns that left her dizzy if she followed them with her eyes for too long.

Up ahead, something caught her eye. On either side of the passageway, a pair of stone idols rose out of the floor. They looked like a pair of cobras, their necks arched and fangs bared as if prepared to strike. A tangerine-sized ruby gleamed in each of their eye sockets.

“You know,” she said, eyeing the two statues, “I think I’m starting to sense a theme here.”

“As usual, thank you for your stunning insight,” Derrick replied. Miranda couldn’t see it since she was looking at the back of his head, but she swore she could hear him roll his eyes. “Who would have thought The Lost Temple of Visantii, Matriarch of Serpents would be full of snakes?”

She cocked her head. “The temple of what now?”

The look of despair on Derrick’s face deepened.

“That’s what the map says it’s called,” Elise chimed in helpfully.

“How have you survived this long with the attention span of a gnat?” the Mandrake snapped.

Miranda gave a noncommittal grunt, and drew Eagle Feather before stepping up to the idol on the right.

“Careful,” Derrick warned her, stepping up next to her as she dug the tip of her dagger into the idol’s eye.

“Always am,” she reassured him. Then, nodding toward Elise, she whispered, “Is anyone going to tell me why she’s here?”

“She has a skill that lets her sense quest objectives. A wandering merchant NPC came to Faen's Hand a while ago, and she sensed that this map came with a really high level quest. She bought it, and struck a deal with Father Lancaster.”

“Since when does he make deals?” Miranda asked.

“Since the guild reached the brink of starvation. You know how short we are on XP. This quest could keep the Underwings going for a whole month!”

“But she wanted to come with us?”

Derrick nodded. “Father Lancaster says if anyone can keep her alive in a dungeon like this, it’s us.”

Miranda wiggled her knife. “I’m not a babysitter, Derrick.”

Derrick grabbed her arm, giving it a firm squeeze. “We need to keep her safe, Miranda.”

“She’s just a kid!”

“I know. That’s why we can’t let her die in a place like this.”

Miranda rolled her eyes, but didn’t argue.

With a little more work, she was able to pry the ruby free of the statue’s skull. Grinning, she tossed it up into the air and caught it before depositing it into her inventory. They wouldn’t know how much it was worth until they made it back to a town and sold it off, but the beautiful jingle of gold coins was already playing in her ears. She switched to the other eye, and when no warnings popped up, she popped that one free as well.

“Let me help!” Elise declared. Summoning her own dagger, she rushed over to the other idol and—

DETECT TRAPS

A sudden sensation of knowing struck Miranda, like being shot by a dart made of knowledge directly in her brain.

“Wait,” she exclaimed, spinning around. “Stop!”

Too late. Copying what she had just seen Miranda do, Elise drove the point of her dagger into the idol’s eye, wiggling it to try and dislodge the ruby. The gem came free, and a sharp click echoed through the corridor.

Derrick and Aaron reacted with the speed that only experience could bring, dashing out of the way until they were a safe distance from the idols. Elise was much slower to realize what was happening, and was still admiring her prize when the open mouths of both idols lit up with a bright green light.

Cursing under her breath, Miranda grabbed Elise by the arm and hurled her out of the way.

Two glowing streams of poison shot from the idols, aimed straight at her. With no time to run, Miranda leaped up into the air, and a sharp, metallic smell filled the tunnel as the twin jets of pure death arched across the hallway beneath her.

Time seemed to slow down as she took in the situation. Wherever the green liquid splashed, the stone would start to bubble and sizzle like boiling water. What didn’t eat through the walls dribbled down onto the floor, creating a deadly pool that left her with nowhere safe to land. Unless…

She twisted in midair, her billowing cape just barely missing the jets of venom below her, and hurled Eagle Feather down the corridor. Elise’s eyes widened when she saw the dagger come flying straight toward her.

“Silverwing!” Miranda shouted.

The world around her blazed with silver light for a split second, and then she reappeared in the dimly lit cave, her fist once again wrapped around Eagle Feather’s handle. Elise lay on the floor in front of her, with the tip of Eagle Feather’s blade poised half an inch away from her terrified face.

“And that,” Derrick said sharply, “is why we leave the jobs to their specialists!”

Unable to jump across it like Miranda had, Derrick and Aaron were trapped on the other side of the acid pool. After a moment’s thought, the Neanderite pulled a little clay pot out of his inventory. It had a bright blue water droplet painted on it, and when he tossed it down onto the floor, it shattered and sent an ankle-high deluge of water surging out of it. A few seconds later, the acid had been diluted enough that they could cross safely.

Miranda sent Eagle Feather back to her inventory, and Elise finally blinked, like she was surprised to find that she was still alive.

“I…I’m sorry.” she gasped.

“You should be,” Derrick said angrily. “You’re our Mage! Your job is to throw fireballs whenever we want something dead, not go chasing shiny things like a magpie with ADHD! Understand?”

Elise hesitated. “What’s ADHD?”

Derrick narrowed his eyes.

“Yes, I understand!” she squeaked.

“Good.” Derrick set off down the passageway again. “Then if you think you can keep your hands to yourself, I’d like to be out of here sometime this year!”

“I…I didn’t mean to,” she whispered, watching the Mandrake disappear into the darkness. “I just wanted to help.”

Miranda made to follow, but something stopped her. Looking down at the girl—so small, barely a child, she couldn’t help but think—she sighed and held out a hand.

“He gets grumpy when he’s worried,” she said, helping the Impwarden back to her feet. “But it just means he cares about you.”

Aaron grunted in agreement, coming up to stand behind them. “He’s right, though. Dungeons aren’t playgrounds. Treating them like one is going to get us all killed.”

Elise took off her glasses and quickly rubbed her eyes, sniffling. “I…I understand.”

“Good, then cut the waterworks and let’s go,” Miranda said, slapping her on the shoulder and following after Derrick.

She found him a little ways further down the corridor, where the narrow tunnel opened up into a larger chamber.

Seeing her coming, he motioned for her to get down. Miranda dropped into a crouch, inching her way forward until she was beside him. As soon as she saw what was ahead, a new box popped up.

PRIMARY QUEST UPDATED:

STOP THE CULT FROM RESURRECTING VISANTII.

TIME UNTIL RITUAL COMPLETION: 1:59

They were at the top of a short flight of steps. A large room stretched out before them, bathed in otherworldly green light. A stone altar stood in the exact center of the room, surrounded by four people who wore hooded robes that looked like they were made out of the discarded skin of some gigantic snake.

A glowing green portal hung suspended just below the ceiling, which the cultists stood beneath with their arms raised. “LEVEL 20 VISANTII CULTIST” hovered over the heads of three of them, while the last one—Miranda guessed he was the one in charge—said “LEVEL 25 HIGH PRIEST OF VISANTII.”

A woman lay chained atop the altar, struggling desperately to break free. Instead of a pair of legs, a long, copper snake’s tail emerged from the hem of her filthy white dress.

“Only one Naga in a place like this?” Miranda whispered.

“Talk about a wasted opportunity,” Derrick replied.

A haunting chant rose from the darkness beneath the cultist’s hoods, sounding both mournful and celebratory.

“Snepres asoirolg o, inev, Iitnasiv, inev.

Eritulged mutot te eracoffus mudnum cnuh,

Tnuicaf irga subirum eaut eailif tucis.

Serebil sitaccep arurc te aihcarb a son tu sumagor et, ingidni iut ivres, sn!

Sumissop ereper sirtson subirtnev atcideneb abreh ni tu,

Eraitas tnagen maut menidutingam iuq sii ni martson memaf te!”

“What are they doing down there?” Elise asked, creeping up behind them. There was a faint tremor in her voice.

“Trying to summon their goddess, obviously,” Miranda answered. “If they succeed, I’m guessing she’ll possess that Naga down there. There’s a good chance she’ll turn into some kind of monster, too.”

“And we’re going to stop them before they can do that, right?”

“Nope.”

Elise looked at her as if she had gone insane.

“We could kill the cultists and stop the ritual,” Derrick explained, “That’s how the quest is supposed to play out. But if we let them finish, it’ll penalize us with a boss fight.”

“Quests that end with boss fights are worth way more XP than ones that don’t,” Miranda pointed out.

“That’s insane!” Elise protested. “We can’t kill a god!”

Derrick shared a look with Miranda, and she smirked.

“What?” Elise demanded.

“I’m sure the other seven gods we’ve killed would be very interested to hear that,” Derrick said.

“Seven?”

“This kind of quest gets reused a lot,” Miranda explained, fighting not to laugh at the look on the Impwarden’s face. “If gods were impossible to kill, there’d be a whole lot more of them running around right now.”

“Besides,” Derrick added, “they were all minor gods, which means they may as well not have been gods at all.”

“See how it calls her the Matriarch of Serpents instead of the Goddess of Serpents?” Miranda asked, gesturing toward the quest box. “Visantii’s probably just a minor deity. Maybe a servant of one of the real gods who went rogue.”

None of that seemed to comfort Elise. “God or not, why would you go out of your way to make things harder for yourselves?”

“Well, you see,” Miranda leaned in, whispering conspiratorially, “we’re all suicidal.”

“Why do you think they call us the Grave Mistakes?” Derrick asked.

“Guys,” Aaron whispered disapprovingly. “She’s new. Be nice.”

Miranda rolled her eyes. “XP is the whole reason we’re here. The more we earn, the longer the guys back home get to stay…you know…”

“It won’t be an easy fight,” Derrick admitted. “This is a level thirty dungeon. But you were the one who asked to come along with us. You’re not having second thoughts now, are you?”

Elise shook her head so hard her gigantic hat nearly fell off. “No! I- I’ll do it. I just…”

The Naga woman screamed as the ritual began to rise to a crescendo. The timer had ticked down to thirty seconds.

“Are we really not going to help her?”

“Why would we?” Miranda asked with a shrug. “She’s not real.”

“I know she’s an NPC, but—”

“No,” Derrick cut her off, his voice suddenly cold, “she’s not an NPC. NPCs used to be real people. That is just a non-hostile mob. A prop in whatever stupid story the System is trying to tell.”

“Get ready!” Miranda whispered as the timer hit ten seconds. Bolts of green electricity were beginning to crackle inside the portal.

“Miranda, Aaron, you know the drill,” Derrick said. “Elise, you and Makolo’s job is to stay alive. Throw some spells around when you can, but call for help the minute a mob comes after you. And no matter what, you stay behind us! Understand?”

Five seconds.

“I can—”

“I said, do you understand?”

Three seconds. The chanting rose higher, and the Naga screamed again.

Elise nodded sullenly.

Derrick nodded back to her. “Good. Everybody got their trade requests open?”

Miranda waved her hand, summoning her menu. Moving quickly, she opened the trade request window, then deposited a single item into it: a spent mana crystal.

“Ready,” she said, hitting the Open Trade button. Aaron nodded as well.

Zero.

Derrick sprang to his feet. “Then let’s do this!”