Chapter Six | If This Is the Last Time I’m Conscious

The lights in the ICU are always on.

They’re a kind of light that doesn’t belong to human beings—cold, white, without warmth, as if designed specifically to illuminate despair.

Through the glass, Lin Nian saw Gu Chen lying inside.

Countless tubes were connected to his body. The ventilator emitted a steady yet lifeless rhythm. The face she had loved for ten years was now so thin it was almost unrecognizable.

Her legs went weak, but she forced herself to stand straight.

She couldn’t fall.
At least not while he was still alive.

The doctor stopped her. “He can only stay conscious for a short time. Once you go in—”

“I know.”
Lin Nian cut him off. “I won’t cry.”

She changed into sterile clothing and entered the ward.

In that moment, she almost didn’t recognize him.

“Gu Chen.”

She called his name softly.

His eyelashes fluttered, and he slowly opened his eyes.

The instant he saw her, light flickered in his gaze—then quickly dimmed.

“Why are you here…”
His voice was as light as air. “Didn’t I say… you shouldn’t come to the hospital?”

Lin Nian walked to the bedside and held his hand.

That hand was cold—cold beyond what a living person’s should be.

“You don’t have the right to control me anymore,”
she said quietly.

Gu Chen tried to smile, but didn’t have the strength.

“Nian Nian.”
He looked at her, unusually clear-eyed. “Listen to me.”

Her chest tightened violently.

She knew this tone too well.
This was goodbye.

“I actually… lied to you about something.”

Lin Nian’s fingers trembled slightly.

“About what?”

“After the fake death, my condition didn’t worsen right away,”
he said. “I had a period of… relative stability.”

Lin Nian’s breathing stalled.

“Then why didn’t you come back?”

Gu Chen was silent for a long time.

So long that the beeping of the monitor struck her heart again and again.

“Because during that time, I received a donor match notice,”
he finally said. “The success rate was very low. And if it failed, I would die immediately.”

“And the price of success was a lifetime spent fighting rejection.”

Lin Nian looked at him and suddenly understood.

“So you chose the first option.”

Gu Chen nodded.

“I’d rather you thought I was dead and suffered once.”
“Than have you stay with me in hospital rooms, wasting away an entire lifetime little by little.”

Lin Nian’s tears finally fell.

Drop by drop, landing on the back of his hand.

“But you still came back.”

“Because I regretted it.”
He looked at her, pain filling his eyes. “I realized that compared to dying, I was more afraid of—”

“You forgetting me.”

Lin Nian lowered her head, resting her forehead against his hand, her shoulders shaking violently.

“Gu Chen,”
she sobbed, “have you ever thought that if you really died right now—”

“I would go with you.”

Gu Chen’s pupils constricted sharply.

“You’re not allowed.”

“I am.”
She lifted her head and looked at him, terrifyingly calm. “You already made one choice for me.”

“This time, it’s my turn.”

Gu Chen’s breathing grew rapid. The monitor let out a sharp warning sound.

“You can’t do this!”
He used all his strength to grip her hand. “Lin Nian, I’m begging you.”

It was the first time he had ever begged her.

Lin Nian smiled.

That smile carried utter despair.

“Don’t worry,”
she said softly. “I won’t die.”

“I’ll live.”

“With you.”

Gu Chen froze.

“What do you mean?”

Lin Nian leaned closer, whispering into his ear.

That single sentence made his tears break free instantly.

“I’m pregnant.”

The world fell completely silent in that moment.

Gu Chen stared at her, his lips trembling, no sound coming out.

“The child… is yours,”
she said. “If you’re gone, I’ll live on with him.”

“If you live, I’ll endure it with you.”

“Gu Chen,”
she said slowly, clearly, “you don’t have a way out anymore.”

Gu Chen closed his eyes, tears sliding from the corners into the pillow.

Only then did he understand—

He had wanted to shield her from all pain,
but she had chosen to turn his life
into her own.

The monitor’s sounds gradually steadied.

When the doctors rushed in, what they saw were Gu Chen’s eyes—awake, wet with tears.

And Lin Nian standing beside him, one hand resting on her abdomen.

She knew—

The true ending had not yet arrived.