Chapter 3 | If You Don’t Turn Back, I’ll Really Leave

Wen Yan began to deliberately avoid Shen Che.

It wasn’t sulking, and it wasn’t spite.
It was something much quieter—and much more final:
she was erasing him from her life, bit by bit.

She changed seats, no longer sitting by the window.
She stopped waiting after class; the moment the bell rang, she left.
Even the café she used to go to all the time—she started taking a detour around it.

She told herself she was calm.

But only she knew that every time she turned away from him, her heart felt like it was being torn open.

Shen Che noticed quickly.

From the back row of the classroom, his gaze followed her without his permission.
She had cut her hair shorter, her neck now exposed.
She walked with her back straight, as if she had finally learned how to stand on her own.

That wasn’t the outcome he wanted.

But it was the one he had caused with his own hands.

One day it rained.

He stood beneath the teaching building, holding an umbrella.
The rain was heavy—just like the day they had first gotten soaked together.

Wen Yan came out of the building and saw him.
Her steps faltered for a moment.

They looked at each other through the rain, two seconds—no more.

Then she walked around him and stepped straight into the rain, on the side without shelter.

Shen Che stood where he was, watching her back get drenched, and for the first time, he didn’t chase after her.

Because he knew—

She wasn’t waiting for him anymore.

That night, Shen Che messaged her for the first time.

It’s raining. Did you bring an umbrella?

Her phone vibrated in her palm.

Wen Yan stared at the screen for a long, long time.

Then she replied with four words.

None of your business.

In that instant, it felt as if someone had shoved Shen Che’s heart straight into deep water.

He deserved it.

But he still refused to give up.

He started “running into” her on purpose.
The library.
The study rooms.
The cafeteria.

He never said anything—just sat somewhere not too far away.

At first, she would tense up. Then she grew indifferent.
Eventually, she couldn’t even be bothered to look at him.

One day, there was a boy beside her.

His name was Lin Yu, from the neighboring department.
He smiled easily, his gaze open and direct.

He handed her water, saved seats for her, waited for her after class.

All the things Shen Che used to do—
things he had done without ever admitting they meant anything.

Shen Che sat on the stairwell corner, watching them walk toward him together.

Lin Yu lowered his head to speak to her.
She tilted her head slightly to listen, a faint smile on her lips.

In that moment, Shen Che’s world completely lost its order.

For the first time, he realized—

She was not someone who had to be his.

That night, Shen Che smoked a lot.

The smoke burned his throat raw, but he couldn’t stop.

He called her.

Once.
Twice.
The third time, she answered.

“What is it?”

Her voice was cold.

Shen Che opened his mouth, but his throat felt blocked.

“You and him…”
He stopped halfway.

“What does that have to do with you?”
She cut him off.

He fell silent.

She waited a few seconds, then said softly, “If there’s nothing else, I’m hanging up.”

“Don’t.”
He finally spoke.

His voice was so low it barely sounded like his own.

“Wen Yan,” he said, “don’t be like this.”

She let out a short laugh.

“Shen Che,” her tone was terrifyingly calm,
“so now you finally feel that something’s wrong?”

“But didn’t you say it yourself?
You told me to stay away from you.”

“I’m doing exactly what you asked.”

“Shouldn’t you be happy?”

On the other end of the line, Shen Che couldn’t say a word.

He wanted to say—
It’s not like that.
I’m not rejecting you.

But these were words he could never say.

“I’ll really leave,” she said quietly.
“This time, I won’t turn back.”

The call ended.

Shen Che sat alone in the darkness, his fingers shaking uncontrollably.

Only then did he understand—

Some people, once you let go of them even once,
you will never be able to hold them again.

And he was losing her
with his own hands.