A Confession

After what I had discovered last night, it had been hard to fall asleep, and I had so many questions that were bottled up inside me that I wanted to ask. But I didn’t have a cellphone, and I had no way to contact Martha. As the night grew later and later, my body finally succumbed, was forced to drift off into a fitful sleep. And when I woke up, I found that the apartment was exactly the same as when I had gone to bed.

Pushing myself awake, I shuffled down the hallway and gently knocked on Martha’s door. There was no response. Turning the knob, I found that she had left it unlocked, and gingerly peered inside. Within the rood, I saw that her bedsheets were folded neatly, while an assortment of clothes were scattered across the floor. Did she even come home last night?

Arriving at the Oasis, I asked around and came to the realization that Martha wasn’t there either. Business was slower than usual today, and since Chris noticed I was a little out of it, he said that I could go home a little earlier, if I wanted to. Resorting to desperate measures, I even attempted to ask Kin if he had seen any signs of where Martha could have gone.

“Sorry, Don. Can’t help you there,” he shrugged. “Last time I saw her was yesterday at work, and you were there too.”

The longer I went without seeing her, the more worried I got. Did something happen to her? Did someone hurt her, or worse… Stepping into the shower back at Martha’s apartment, I had hoped that doing so would help me clear my mind, by the cool spray of water did nothing to assuage my unease. It was as I dried my body off with a towel when I heard the soft click of the apartment door opening. Quickly pulling on my pajamas, I caught the sound of something heavy being dropped onto the living room table.

“I’m such an idiot…” Martha’s quiet voice was slightly muffled through the bathroom door. Cracking open the door a tiny bit, I saw her slumped over the table, a large pile of groceries sitting next to her. Reaching into the plastic bag, she pulled out the receipt and crumpled it into a little paper ball, rolling it around in her fingers. “Of course, it makes sense. I should have expected it, but still…”

She’s safe. As I watched her, I was filled with a strange sense of relief, and my pent-up anxiety dissipated a little. Pushing open the door all the way, I stepped out into the hallway. “You’re back.”

“Don?” Startled, Martha dropped the wad of paper in surprise. “Oh. I didn’t… think you would be back so early.”

I stepped towards her. “Martha –”

“Wait.” She raised a hand, and pointed to the plastic bag. “Since you’re already here, why not sit down for dinner first? I’m starving, so whatever you want to say, you can ask me after we eat.”

Reluctantly, I pulled out a cushion from underneath the table, using it as a seat. Taking out two containers full of those easily cooked instant noodles we occasionally ate, Martha boiled some water using the kitchen stove. As I watched her pour some of the water into the containers, I couldn’t help but feel that something was a little off.

Bringing the noodles back to the table, Martha pulled out two cans of some beverage, and slid one over to me. “Here.”

Catching it, I felt the condensation on the surface of the can slide off onto my hand, still cool from whatever convenience store refrigerator Martha had pulled it off of. “Are you not cooking today?”

“Mm. Didn’t feel like it.” She traced the rim of the can with her finger indifferently.

Popping open the can like Martha had taught me to, my eyes widened as the liquid sloshed to my lips. It was alcohol, but far stronger than the beer that I usually drank here. “Hey, I thought you didn’t like to drink.”

“Not usually, but there are exceptions.” Martha opened up her own can, and took a sip. “It’s canned rum. You like it?”

“It’s good, but…” I glanced at the noodles. “I don’t think it really goes with the food.”

“Just hurry up and eat your dinner before it gets cold.”

The meal was quiet for the most part, where the muted slurping of noodles were the only noises to be heard. Then, the silence was broken by the light clattering of metal as Martha placed her empty can onto the table, and she had sort of a determined expression as she reached for a second can from within the grocery bag.

“Hey, are you okay?” I already considered myself as someone who could hold alcohol pretty well, and I had only managed to make my way through about a quarter of the can. “You’ve been acting a little different than usual ever since you got back.”

“Yeah. Well, maybe I’m not fully truthful.” She stirred her noodles around in a clockwise manner. “I was just rejected by Chris, but it’s really not that big a deal.”

“Rejected?”

“Yeah. You saw the posters for the dance, right?” Martha gestured at an imaginary poster on the wall. “Need to bring a partner, and all. I was planning to ask him, and he said no.”

“Aren’t the two of you close? Why would he –”

“Don’t worry, it’s not like there’s anything between us. It’s just that he already had a partner of his own,” Martha said, waving her hand quickly. “Though, it’s not like he would be too eager to accept my request in the first place, even if that wasn’t the case.”

“What, is he against the idea of going out with you?” Twisting the few remaining noodles around my plastic fork, I finished the last of what was in the container with a slurp.

“I don’t think it’s me in particular. It’s just that, Chris…” Her voice trailed off, as she smiled at the floor. “Well, I don’t think he’s interested in pursuing relationships with women at all. It’s always just been guys with him, through and through.”

“Oh… alright. I think I get it now, more or less.” Setting down my cup of noodles, I looked Martha in the eye. “Martha, I know I said that I was against attending the Oasis’ party, but if it really means a lot to you, then you could just ask me. I’d be fine going there with you.”

Martha’s expression was incomprehensible as she took a good, long look at me. “I’ve known you for a little while now. What has it been, like, two months? It’s felt like so much longer, though.”

“Tell me about it. This time I’ve spent on this world has felt like a whole separate life,” I chuckled, reclining into the depths of my cushion.

“In light of that, can I… ask you a quick question?” She slowly lowered her can of cool alcohol onto the table. “You have to answer truthfully, though.”

“Fire away. It’s not like I’ve got any reason to lie.”

Like she was steeling herself, Martha’s fist tightened around the can, before she took another deep swig of the liquid. Wiping her mouth with her sleeve, she looked up at me with her soft caramel eyes. “Don, what do you really think of me?”

The can of rum in my hand froze on its way to my mouth. “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“Honestly, I can’t figure you out at all. At times you’re so nice to me, but other times it almost feels like you’re trying to distance yourself from me on purpose. Sometimes you treat me like a sister, but every so often…” As she moved closer to me, Martha gently brushed a curl of hair behind her ear. “What I meant was, do you find me attractive?”

“What? I-I mean, speaking purely objectively, I’d say that you do have a pretty good-looking face.” As she drew nearer, I felt my heart rate gradually start to increase against my will. “And, um, though you act childish now and then, that can be seen as a charming trait.”

“No, I don’t want that. Don’t speak objectively,” Martha whispered, her fingers closing delicately around my wrist, still cool from grasping the icy can of alcohol. “What do you think, personally?”

“Uh…” My pulse raced higher and higher, making it impossible to think clearly. “T-The same, I guess.”

“That’s good to hear.” With a smile, Martha leaned into me, lightly pushing me to the floor. As she did so, the can of rum clutched in my hand clattered onto the living room floor, before rolling slowly to a stop. Pressed on the ground, I had a side view of the golden-brown liquid trickling slowly to the floor, forming a tiny pool at the opening. Snaking her arm around the back of my neck, Martha tenderly pulled my face close to hers. From this distance, I could smell the sweet smell of alcohol surrounding her. In contrast to the frigid air of the apartment, the inside of my chest felt like it was burning up as Martha’s body was pressed on top of mine.

“Hey, Don?” She breathed faintly. Her face was flushed with a red color, though I couldn’t tell whether it was from the alcohol or just due to the current situation. I swallowed in response, not able to form a cohesive answer.

“Wanna kiss?”

I opened my mouth, about to give a response, when an image suddenly flashed into my head out of the blue. It was that of Martha’s agonized face, back at the winter festival, that had plagued my mind for several days after. Abruptly, my mind was totally clear.

No, this can’t be what she really wants. Something still doesn’t add up. Just now… it was almost like she only drank to work up the courage to do this, I thought, recalling her fixed expression when she was drinking those cans of alcohol. She never seemed to express any signs of romantic feelings towards me before this point, so this seems more like an act of desperation than anything. Was she just feeling lonely after being rejected, or… is it something else? Whatever it is, I’m certain that doing this right now will only hurt her in the long run.

And that’s not what I want for her.

Holding her by the left shoulder, I softly nudged Martha back up off my torso, so that I could sit up straight. “Martha, is it truly your intent to enter a romantic relationship with me?”

“What are you talking about? Are you trying to back off because you’re too shy? Well, even if you are chickening out, I still think that’s cute,” Martha giggled, wavering a little in my grip like she was a bit off-balance. “You just said you thought I was attractive, right? Don’t you want this?”

“What I want or don’t want isn’t important right now.” Raising a hand, I pressed my index finger to Martha’s lips. “Neutralize.” At my command, a burst of purple light spread from my finger to Martha’s body, where it shimmered for a few seconds, before vanishing.

“What…” Martha rubbed her forehead with a frown.

“It’s a spell that removes harmful things like weak poisons from your body,” I explained. “It works for the alcohol content in your blood just as well.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry, Don. God, what was I even thinking?” Without even meeting my eye, Martha pushed herself back up, and faced away from me. “I-It looks like I’m going to need to clean up that spill as well. Let me just get that –”

“Wait.” Reaching out, I grabbed Martha’s wrist, which made her stop and turn around. “By any chance, does all of this have anything to do at all with those papers you have stored in your closet?”

Hearing this, I felt the muscles in Martha’s wrist immediately tense up, and her eyes flickered in shock, which may have even been tinged with fear. “You… saw those?”

“Not on purpose. But, now that I have seen them, can I at least get an explanation from you? I’ve wanted to ask you about it, ever since you got back.” I dropped her arm, and propped myself back on the cushion. “I feel like we know each other well enough that there shouldn’t be anything between us. If there’s anything about me you’d like to know more about, I’d be happy to oblige later. But that also means you can’t be hiding anything either.”

“I… well. If you’ve seen the papers, then I’m not going to insult you by attempting to hide the truth or make excuses. I’m sorry if I’ve hid things from you in the past, it was irresponsible of me.” With a long exhale of air, Martha returned to the table opposite me. “But, are you absolutely sure that you want to know? I’ve spun a tangled web of messy lies that I’ve kept between not just you, but everyone else as well. If I tell you everything, you… might not even view me as the same person anymore.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said, folding my arms. “I’d rather hear everything than continue living with a barrier between us. Like you said, there’s no use in trying to hide from this and act like I never saw anything; neither can we go back to our normal relationship while acting like nothing happened between us tonight.”

“I guess that does make sense.” Martha took a shaky breath. “It’s just a little hard for me to openly face the truth, even if it’s to you.”

“Just so you know, I’d much prefer a flawed friend over a perfect mask.” Unconsciously, I placed one of my hands above Martha’s. I’m not sure what compelled me to do so, but it just felt like the right thing to do. “Look, though I know I’m not the wisest person around, I think that it’s sometimes better to accept the fact that you have problems rather than pretend that they don’t exist. So, no matter what it is you have to say, I think that this will be for the better in the end.”

“If you say so.” I felt that Martha’s hand was trembling in the slightest as she squeezed mine. Then, she took a deep breath before she spoke again. “Okay. No more hiding behind lies.”

###

“There’s one thing you need to know first, before I explain. It’ll make it easier for you to understand what I tell you,” Martha said, lowering her gaze. “The way that I normally behave around other people at work, and most of the time around you, isn’t exactly my real nature. I wouldn’t call it a fake, but I acted far differently in the past, especially when I was younger.”

“As in, you change your personality to fit different social settings?” I asked. “That’s something that a lot of people do.”

“No, not in that way. Ever since a few years ago, I’ve been forcing myself to make changes in the way I interact with everyone. By that, I mean major changes to my personality itself,” she continued, almost unwilling to look directly at me. “Up to a few months ago, I was even regularly visiting Dr. Owens’ clinic for therapy to that end, since she also acts as a licensed therapist. It’s not so bad most of the time, since I’ve more or less gotten used to it. But sometimes, I just…”

“I think I get what you mean, but for what reason?” Though the lights were on, the room still felt dim, like all the energy had been sapped out of it. It felt almost wrong to try and continue the conversation. “And if this isn’t your real personality, then what is?”

“You’ll understand why, after I explain a little more. For now, all you need to know is that I was almost like a different person back then. I was unsociable and reclusive, avoiding human interaction as much as I possibly could.” Her expression darkened. “And… I was constantly irritable, quick to anger.”

As I processed this, something struck me, and I frowned. Then, is that why…

“I can tell what you’re thinking,” she nodded. “That magic affinity divination thing you did a while back, it was probably entirely accurate. I was a bit surprised that I still had a part of my former self in me, even after all this time, but I guess it just isn’t possible to completely erase a part of your identity.”

“But if you’re making improvements to yourself, is that really a bad thing?”

“I admit that the end result might be an improvement overall, but it’s what initially necessitated the need for change that bothers me.” Martha placed both hands above the table. “In any case, everything started a couple of years ago, when I was still in school. At the time, I went about life like I normally did, working quietly and eating alone. Nobody really paid any attention to me, but that was fine, since I had adapted to that kind of lifestyle. It was then, sometime around the middle years of high school, that I met Marissa.”

“You mean, the same Marissa from the Oasis?”

Martha gave a reluctant nod. “Again, I’m sorry that I deceived you on so many things. But in the situation that I was in, it would have been safest to hide away as much of this as possible, even to you.”

More and more questions began to manifest, but I knew that they would probably be explained if I gave Martha the chance to keep speaking, so I just waited silently for her to continue.

“I don’t even recall what it was. It was some stupid, trivial thing, like accidentally bumping into her lunch tray. But somehow, I managed to get Marissa angry at me, even in the slightest. Her attitude quickly worsened, and because of the way I was at the time, my anger rose proportionately to match hers. That only worked to exacerbate the situation, and eventually the teacher had to be called over to break up the fight.” A clear look of regret was written all over Martha’s face as she continued. “That was when Marissa first marked me down as her enemy. Over the next couple of weeks, I just tried to stay away from her as much as I could, but Marissa wasn’t the type of person to just forget something so easily. I think she figured out early on that she wouldn’t get anywhere with physical confrontations, but Marissa still had many other ways that she could go about hurting me.”

“Marissa had a sizable ring of friends at the time. It might just have been because they needed a person to focus all their suppressed frustrations on, or maybe because their ringleader Marissa was already doing it, but she managed to turn her entire friend group against me. Because of this, even if I could get away from Marissa herself, there was no way that I could hide from every one of the friends that she had. Day after day, week after week, they would shower me with insults and spread false rumors. And you’re probably all too familiar with this, but when enough people believe a lie, it slowly melds into the truth.” It looked like it was getting harder for Martha to continue, and her voice was starting to sound labored. “This got to the point where no one was willing believe a single thing that I said, because it was just easier for them to go with what everyone else said than to try to help and be dragged down with me. And I know this might sound silly to someone like you, but… life was hard for me.”

“No, it isn’t silly.” Perhaps it was just a side effect of living in this world for so long, but I seemed to understand relationships between other people a little better. Looking back, my life was somewhat similar, especially after Onimus attempted to raid the Scrappers. The false stories and accusations just kept piling up, circulating through word of mouth, until I was something like an urban legend, some sort of monster. If it weren’t for those accusations, I might have been able settle back down live a normal life, but because of them I was forced to constantly be on the run.

“Things only got worse once Floyd showed up. He came from a rich family, so what he said had more influence on the other students. Desperate to impress Marissa, Floyd may have believed that the more he could tarnish her enemy’s name, the more attention he would receive. So, that was exactly what he did. Floyd even managed to get ahold of some people in the newspaper club, where he would actually go and publish some of the rumors that were being passed around onto paper. In any normal case, the teachers would have stepped in at this point, but they were already so used to hearing these things about me that they… turned a blind eye.” Martha paused, and took a long gulp of the water that she had poured. “There was only one person who stood beside me through all of this: Chris, the absent-minded boy one grade above me, who had approached me just when things were starting to get bad. I don’t know why it was; he was in a few of my classes, and he might have noticed that I didn’t quite fit the bill on the numerous rumors flying around. He was the only one to believe me, but even then, Chris would still only comfort me when we were alone, and never really talked to me in public. Which made sense, I guess. What could one boy possibly do against a hundred-plus students, who derived their pleasure from ridiculing a single girl? No one would ever want to be the devil’s accomplice in that situation.”

“For much of the time, I tried to bear the insults, without saying a word. But after weeks and weeks of this constant, scathing derision, even with Chris’ support, one day I just…” Biting down on her lip, Martha clenched her fist, so hard that it trembled. “Just snapped. I knew it was an idiotic thing to do, something that would only work in their favor, substantiate their claims. But you don’t understand, it just… it was just so…” She choked on her words ever so slightly, as a single tear spilled out from the corner of her eye. “It hurt, Don. So much.”

Reaching out, I extended an arm, which she gripped onto tightly. For a while, I could only hear Martha’s uneven breathing, trying to get it under control. Then, she released my arm, and dabbed her eyes lightly with the corner of a sleeve. “I don’t completely remember what happened, but I hurt a few people. I’m not sure how badly, but I do remember the… blood. I was placed under several week-long suspensions, and while I was away, local news reporter even came to capture the incident. Marissa was apparently one of the victims of my outburst, and was interviewed by one of these news companies. The local news even managed to dig up a few of the school newspapers discussing rumors about me. After spreading from one unreliable news source to another, the rumors and facts got blown out of proportion, and, well…” She gestured weakly towards me. “You saw those newspapers and magazines, didn’t you?”

I swallowed, as the headlines flashed back into my mind. Horrific incident at local high school: Student Martha Flores responsible for hospitalization of 5 students. And, a few other assorted tabloids and papers: Martha Flores suspected of drug and alcohol abuse. Martha Flores reportedly pregnant at age sixteen. Martha Flores injures more students in second assault. Martha…

“It had spread outside of the school. One after another, paper after paper, I became known first in the neighborhood, and then even further than that. People I had never even heard of were accusing me of crimes left and right, and the news ate it all up. Anything and everything suspicious in the local area, if the perpetrator was unknown, was courtesy of Martha Flores.” Martha’s words grew faster and more bitter, but they were tinged with a hopeless feeling. “After a while, my father refused to speak to me. I tried, really tried to explain everything to him, but why would he believe me? There was already so much solid ‘evidence’ out there, from the rumors to the newspapers. And even if everything else was untrue, it was still an undeniable fact that I did hurt those students.”

“I never even went to college. I didn’t have the money, and it wasn’t like my father would be willing to pay for me. Even if I did scrape together the funds, the chances of any good school even accepting me were slim, considering my background. My only stroke of luck was the fact that Chris’ mother was in charge of managing a small restaurant, and Chris managed to forgo much of the official enrollment process through personal recommendation, where I became a temporary worker at the Oasis. I was able to live like this for a few months, and with Chris’ help, I was even able to start renting out this apartment. But one day, by pure coincidence…” Her voice faded away for a second, and the deafening silence filled its place. “By pure coincidence, Marissa showed up at the Oasis, to just have a quick dinner as she struggled to find a job. She had lost any connection with me once I got out of high school, but she recognized me working here immediately, along with Chris. Marissa quickly gathered that Chris had brought me into here and bypassed the normal background checks, so she could have had me fired on the spot. If she recovered some of the files on me, and brought them in to the Oasis’s main buildings, they’d kick me out in an instant. But Marissa realized that wouldn’t benefit her much, so she came up with something that would suit her far better. It’s a good thing she only discovered me a few months after I started working, or else…”

“Is this related to why you need to disappear off to see her every so often?” I scowled. From the start, I had already felt that there was definitely something off about the way Martha described Marissa to me, but I had never attempted to investigate any further. “It did always seem a little suspicious, but you never seemed to be bothered by it, so I… I’m sorry that I never even asked about it.”

“I’m sure everyone at the Oasis thinks my relationship with Marissa is dubious to some degree. But looking suspicious is fine for me, since it’s just normal enough that it’ll never be enough to compel anyone to look any further,” Martha spoke dismally. “And that’s just how it is. After enrolling herself into the Oasis, Marissa now has the power to directly control me. Like this, Marissa can ask me to do anything, and I’ll have no choice but to agree, or else she’ll leak my full background over to the higher-ups, and that’ll be it. Occasionally she has me do odd jobs for her, but most of the time, she asks for half of all the money I earn.”

“What the hell? That’s outrageous!” I yelled, slamming my arms onto the table. “How can you just let her do that? Doesn’t Chris know about any of this?”

“He doesn’t know the full details, but I’ve asked him to keep quiet about what he knows about me and Marissa.” Martha didn’t seem to show any visible reaction to my outburst.

“But that’s just…” I stood up, and that sat back down immediately, dropping my raised right arm. “He’s the manager of the restaurant, isn’t he? At least he could expose Marissa, and…”

“And do what?” Martha glared up at me. “I’m listed under a slightly altered name in the Oasis’ official records. Even though he’s the manager, Chris doesn’t hold nearly enough power to keep me here if they found out about my true background. And if I lost my job here after my background is leaked, there’s no way I’d be hired by any other companies. I’d rather only be earning half of my salary than nothing at all.”

I understood that Martha was right, that everything she said was true, but it all just felt so wrong. She can’t possibly just accept her life like this. She can’t, right? I shrank back down into my cushion, feeling beaten. “Then, what about the Oasis’ dance? You said that you just didn’t want to attend, but seeing all the trouble you went through to ask Chris, that isn’t true, is it? Is this related to Marissa as well?”

“Remember how I told you before that Marissa viewed me as an enemy? That still hasn’t changed, even now. She still goes out of her way to do things for the sole purpose of upsetting me. Remember at the arm-wrestling tournament, where she sent Floyd to fight against you? That was just so that I’d feel disheartened at your loss. By that same reasoning, every year, she uses roundabout methods to make sure that I don’t attend the Oasis’ end-of-year Christmas dance. I’m not sure how it started, maybe just as a demonstration of her power,” Martha sighed. “The truth is, though I do look forward to it, it’s not the dance itself that I’m most excited about. I try to find ways to attend the dance because I’ve always wanted to find some way to defy Marissa, to show her that I haven’t given in entirely. This dance has a requirement that you bring a partner, so in an effort to counteract this, Marissa forbid me from getting into a romantic relationship. This both stops me from getting into the dance, and decreases the quality of my everyday life. Two birds with one stone.”

“And you still asked Chris?”

“I asked him precisely because of this rule that Marissa set. She knows for a fact that our relationship is purely platonic, so I figured that I would be safe asking him. It’s also why I never thought to ask you, since Marissa doesn’t know much about our relationship, so the chance of her jumping to conclusions and releasing the information would be much higher.” She lowered her vision to the ground. “You know, the reason that I went and bought all those Christmas decorations was because I was feeling good about this year. With you suddenly dropping in and the loophole I could exploit with Chris, I finally thought that this was going to be the year, the year that I would be able to attend the dance despite everything Marissa tries to put me through. But things just won’t work out the way I want them to, it seems.”

Then, is that why… I looked back up to Martha. “Back then, at the winter festival, is that why you looked so troubled? Because even though I had spent so much time with you, I didn’t even try to find out more about you, didn’t even try to help. You probably hated me because of that, right?”

“What? Wait, no!” Immediately snapping up, Martha stared up at me incredulously. “Of course I don’t hate you! Where did you draw that conclusion from?”

“But I thought that –” I looked back in confusion. “Wasn’t it because you were mad at me? Why else would you have looked so pained?”

“You really are stupid. Do you still not understand, even after I went and explained everything? Okay, maybe I was a little mad at you, but not for that reason!”

Stupid, huh? Maybe I am, but interpersonal relationships have never been my strong suit. “Sorry, I’m totally lost here.”

“You told me that I reminded you of a woman you once loved. Even if I knew you didn’t mean it in that way, do you have any idea how painful it was for me to hear that and take it, unable to do anything at all?” Standing up, I saw her eyes gleaming in frustration, as her voice grew strained.

“Because of Marissa, I would never be able to be with you. And if she somehow never found out, in the end, you would still ultimately have to leave this world. It wouldn’t be nearly as difficult to accept it if you didn’t care about me at all, but hearing that from you just made things harder for me. So, do you understand just how agonizing it was for me to sit there and just swallow the fact that either way, I would never, ever be able to be with the man that I fell –” Martha’s voice caught, and she stood there for a moment, breathing heavily. Then, she sank weakly into her seat. “That, someday, I would have to part with this blue-haired idiot that I cared so much about?”

As we sat there facing each other in silence, a series of emotions that I didn’t understand began swell up inside me. Confusion, sorrow, ecstasy, disbelief, sympathy, as well as something else deeper inside that I couldn’t quite comprehend. I had never felt so many conflicting feelings at once, and it didn’t help that I couldn’t focus on a single one. But as the absence of noise went on, I realized that there was one overpowering feeling that seemed to drown out the rest. And that was the intense pang of guilt that wouldn’t seem to die down. This is all my fault. It’s because of my irresponsible, selfish actions that everything ended up like this. That Martha is suffering to this extent.

“I-I realize that there are a lot of things that I can’t control. With my sudden intrusion into this world, things were bound to be out of the ordinary. I knew that at any given point, everything could suddenly change for me.” I began to talk, without really knowing where I was going with my words. “But you were the one which made life here bearable for me. So, if there’s anything that’s troubling you at all, I want to help you resolve at least a few of those problems.”

Because, though are many things out of my grasp, there are some things that I can control. And because I can only control so little, I want to make sure that I at least do a good job in completing those things that I do have the ability to affect. And one of those things is your happiness. That was what I thought, but I couldn’t bring myself to say those words out loud.

“You want to help me?” Martha laughed without humor. “This whole time you sat there nodding your head, hearing what I had to say, but you didn’t really listen, did you? In the situation I’m in, the best thing you can do to help is to do nothing at all.”

“I’m not just going to stand by and let you accept your life like this.” I stared Martha down. “No matter what way you look at it, there’s something wrong with this. Don’t you want to live your life normally?”

“How do you not understand this? I’m trying to tell you that if you go and attempt anything against Marissa, she’ll pull both of us down together, and make the situation even worse than it already is!” With a sudden movement, Martha slammed the palms of her hands down on the table. “But of course, you’re from another world, where magic exists and society is uncivilized. It makes sense you wouldn’t understand that on Earth, you can’t just brute force your way through everything and expect things to work out!”

“That’s right, I don’t understand!” I stood up abruptly, causing the empty Styrofoam cup of noodles to fall to the ground. “It’s because I’m from another world that I don’t understand what the use of having all these complicated government regulations and official papers are, if in the end, an innocent, kindhearted girl still has to endure such misery every day of her life!”

“Innocent? Kindhearted? You really weren’t even paying attention.” Martha glared back in response. “Everything happening now started because I lashed out. That was undeniably my own decision, and I’m just living with the consequences of that choice. The ‘innocent’ girl that you’re describing wouldn’t have severely injured five of her own classmates.”

“It’s not that I didn’t pay attention, it’s that I don’t care! I’ve killed people before, and yet you still accepted me!” Taking a short breath, I continued. “Putting even that aside, what you did was in the past. In the present, you’ve done everything you can to make up for your mistake. The Martha I first met, since the moment I arrived to this new world, was an unconditionally compassionate girl, to the point of naïvety. She was willing to take in a fugitive whom she knew absolutely nothing about, out of nothing but the kindness of her heart!”

“I… that wasn’t –” Gritting her teeth, Martha stormed over to me. “Don, what I did was a completely selfish action, not because I was kind! When I first met you, I lied to you, just so that you wouldn’t leave!”

“… What?”

“That’s right, I lied!” Her voice was one of frustration, but her two hazel-colored eyes were brimming with look of shame and regret. “What did I tell you, that scientists would cut you up into little pieces if they found out about your magic? People on Earth aren’t that inhumane. I only said that to frighten you into cooperating with me.”

I gazed at her with a confused expression. “If not purely out of benevolence, why would you benefit from harboring a foreign criminal? It would put you in more danger, if anything.”

“You want to know why? I’ll tell you! It’s because I’m a nobody!” Martha shouted. “A nobody who lived every day of her life in an arduous monotony, foolishly hoping that things would get better without ever actually putting in the effort to improve her life!” As she spoke, her face was filled with a kind of frantic desperation, and she uncontrollably strung sentences together between quick breaths. “And then you show up out of nowhere, a super-powered wizard lobbing literal bolts of lightning! Do you think that, after witnessing all this, I would choose to ignore you and just return to my horrible, ordinary mess of a life? You were something special, I wasn’t. I was only special when I was associated with you; meeting you only made that fact more obvious to me. And if you, the extraordinary blue-haired magic user, weren’t by my side, then I was nothing at all!”

Even as Martha went silent, her voice still echoed faintly off the walls of the cramped little apartment, as she stood there drawing deep shuddering breaths. Brushing her tangled hair out of her face, Martha averted her eyes in disgrace. “Now, do you understand?”

For a while I didn’t answer, and Martha seemed to take that as a yes. Wordlessly, she began to turn away from me, before I finally opened my mouth again. “I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand.”

Whipping back to face me with a look of anger, Martha threw her hands in the air helplessly. “What is it? What part of this don’t you get? What more is there for me to explain to you? What –”

“You said that everything you did was for a selfish purpose, but that doesn’t negate what you did do.”

It was her turn to look confused, as she looked up to me weakly, as if her outburst had already consumed the last drops of energy that remained in her. “What…?”

“Who was the one who found me and dug me out of prison? Who was the one who found me a job, just to support me?” As I continued speaking, my words gradually began to get faster and faster. “Who was the one who stepped in front of an enormous earth golem, knowing damn well she was in mortal danger, just to help me? Who was the one who dressed my wounds, knowing that I couldn’t heal myself in time?”

“You… why…” Martha moved her hands to cover her mouth, and little tears began to well up in the corner of her eyes once again, as her voice finally broke. “Why are you so… insistent…”

“Who was the one who fed me, clothed me, gave me a place to live? Who was the one who split her already strained paycheck just so that I could go on living another day?” My voice became a spear, one that was intent on breaking down the wall of darkness I knew had been piled on top of Martha’s frail body, layer by layer for years. “Who was the one who accompanied me every single day since I was thrown into this unfamiliar world, giving me the hope that I needed to carry on?”

By this point, the streams of thick tears were steadily flowing from her eyes, and her voice was no more than a faint whisper. “That’s not anything special… anyone could have done that…”

“But it was you, wasn’t it?” I yelled, as loud as I could. “I don’t care if anyone could have done those things! You were the one who put in all that effort for me, and not anyone else!”

Martha tried to speak, but the deep breaths between each of her sobs rendered anything she tried to say incohesive.

“That’s why no matter what you think of yourself, or what anyone else says, I won’t allow you to call yourself a nobody!” Somehow, my voice was even louder than before, and I paused to draw in a final breath.

“You’re my first real friend in ten goddamn years!”

In the moment that followed, it was as if anything that was still supporting Martha gave way and snapped, and any final inklings of resistance disappeared altogether. She collapsed onto me, wrapping her arms tightly, tightly around my waist, like a frightened little animal afraid to be blown away by a harsh storm. And even though her arms bound me so firmly it was hard for me to breathe, it didn’t hurt.

Not in the slightest.

Through her wails, I wrapped my arms around her back and pulled her in, as she cried into my chest. We were sitting together on the floor of her apartment in an uncomfortable position, yet we stayed like that for quite some time. Our eyes closed, neither one of us said a word, both just silently reassuring the other merely with their presence.

Finally, as Martha’s cries tapered off into weak little sniffles, I spoke. “Way back when I first met you, I swore on my name that I would stand by your side and protect you. That doesn’t just include alien bounty hunters, you know.”

My shirt damp from her tears, Martha only nodded her affirmation, as she slowly released me from her grip. Sitting by my side and resting together on the side of the cushion, she cleared her throat, and then wiped away the tears on her face. “Hey, can I ask you a totally stupid question?”

Shifting my sitting position to something more comfortable, I was happy just to feel her warmth beside me. “What is it?”

“Don, will you… go to the dance with me?”

Mildly surprised, I glanced over at her, before chuckling softly. “After all this, what do you think the answer is going to be?”

Martha gave me a feeble smile, the area around her eyes slightly red and puffed-up from all the crying. “You still didn’t answer my question. Yes or no?”

I closed my eyes, with the trace of a grin on my face. “Yes, of course.”

It would be my pleasure.