1.3 I'm

I pushed the heavy door open again and stepped out into the street, following Prima and the Doctor. She was saying something to him.

I rubbed my eyes lightly, exhausted by the sheer madness of the day.

But when I opened them... The silhouettes of the Doctor and Prima had changed. They had no... heads?

I froze on the asylum threshold. What? What??? I had just...

I pushed the heavy door open again and stepped out into the street, following Prima and the Doctor. She was saying something to him.

I rubbed my eyes lightly, exhausted by the sheer madness of the day.

But when I opened them... The silhouettes of the Doctor and Prima had changed. They had no... heads?

I froze like stone at the asylum threshold. What the hell?

I pushed the heavy door open again and stepped out into the street, following Prima and the Doctor.

I rubbed my EYE OF MADNESS. And when I opened it...

I simply lost the power of speech. The entire earth, the entire space surrounding me, had changed.

The sky ceased to be perfectly blue, shifting its tone to a deep, bruised crimson. The ground... no, this was no longer ground. There was no grass, no black soil, none of those beautiful trees bearing perfectly red fruit.

It had all turned into mangled human flesh that lived a life of its own; it breathed, and organs turned inside out swayed gently in the open air. Something moved inside tubes that resembled human intestines. I looked down at my feet: I was standing on this living meat, and under the pressure of my weight, a weak red fluid oozed from it.

I lifted my gaze to look where Prima and the Doctor should have been.

To my surprise, they were actually standing there. Their heads were in place, but they were frozen like living statues.

Prima's head snapped one hundred and eighty degrees with a sharp, unnatural jerk.

Her face was twisted into a hellish grimace that only partially resembled a smile. Moving with unnatural speed, she glided toward me without even turning her torso.

All I could do was stand there. My body had simply grown into this living flesh; I had become a part of it.

"You remind me of someone: the same strange smell, the foreign eye."

"Your body may be part of this world, but what is inside..." spoke an unnatural voice emanating from the mangled Prima, though her mouth remained frozen in that ghastly smile, never moving an inch.

She poked my forehead with a finger. I instantly felt a lightness wash through my entire body; my vision went dark, and I simply fell.

"Hey, get up, why are you lying there?"

A pleasant, gentle voice drifted toward me—so warm, it heated my very core. The owner of the voice was lightly tapping my cheeks, trying to bring me back to consciousness.

My eyes opened slowly; my eyelids felt pleasantly heavy, a sensation I had never felt in my life.

When my eyes finally opened, right before my face was a pair of rather large and pleasant female breasts. Wait, what?

"Finally came to, did you!"

I looked up.

The most beautiful female face imaginable was hovering just thirty centimeters from mine. Her eyelashes were long and white, even her eyebrows were white, her skin paler than a corpse, and her eyes were cloudy, like grandpa's moonshine. And she was completely naked.

I became intensely embarrassed and flushed red.

Smiling, she asked me, "Where did you come from, looking like that?"

I tried to open my mouth, but couldn't.

"Can't speak?" the beautiful lady looked at me in surprise.

She glanced down and picked up a sharp stone from the ground. "Then maybe...?"

"Can you write?" The girl took my hand and placed the stone in my palm.

I didn't know if she would understand my language, so I didn't answer and immediately began carving my name into the earth.

She looked on, puzzled. "That's unfamiliar to me. I've never seen symbols like these before, but I guess you understand me a little if you've started sketching something."

Suddenly, another voice rang out.

"Serafina, what are you doing over there?"

I looked in the direction of the voice. Someone was standing there with boxes in their hands. By the face, it was a guy, but he also had female breasts and... Wings? Wait, she has them too?

"Luci, look who I found on the ground!" the girl declared, pointing at me.

"Whoa, a wingless one? I've never seen one of those," the guy—or girl—said, getting up from his knees and pointing happily.

CLICK.

A snap echoed in my head. In that same second, these beautiful creatures were on the ground in a pool of their own blood. The head of the beautiful woman was severed from her torso, lying next to her, looking straight at me.

I instantly felt the urge to vomit, but there was nothing to expel... Only a thin trickle of yellowish water escaped my mouth.

I slowly rose to my feet. CLICK.

I was standing in a bustling city. Multitudes of naked, unearthly beautiful people with wings walked around, completely ignoring the child in front of me. The child was weeping, pounding the ground, screaming and begging for something.

A strong desire to approach and help the little one appeared in my heart; the previous gruesome image seemed to vanish entirely from my mind. I reached a hand out to him, when suddenly...

CLICK.

The landscape shifted violently. Everything around was flooded with blood, and the bodies of those people were bathing in it. The child was in the same spot, continuing to cry, only now over the body of a woman. He clutched at her with his small hands, ignoring the hellish stench and the nightmare surrounding him.

I tried to step closer, but my body was glued to the ground. The space between me and the child suddenly increased, stretching out... I noticed the figure of a man with a spear in his hand approaching the child from behind.

I tried to warn the little one, but my mouth wouldn't open.

CLICK.

I was standing on the threshold of the asylum again. Everything around consisted of flesh, and the mangled Prima was drilling me with her gaze, standing right in front of me.

"A pleasant pain, isn't it?" Her face abruptly distorted and snapped back into Prima's ordinary face. "You are so broken you can't even say a word, just standing there staring at one spot."

She walked up and ran her hand over my face. "You have a young face, but you look so much like him..."

She abruptly removed her hands from my face and snapped her fingers. I felt a heaviness, but something appeared within me. A feeling.

The feeling of pushing a massive barbell away from yourself with sheer force.

I took a step forward.

Prima chuckled in surprise. "Maybe you are him?"

Forcing my mouth open, I stammered, "W-Who? W-Who the h-hell do you m-mean?"

Prima stepped closer, smiling right in my face, and snapped her fingers.

Darkness. I stood in pitch darkness. But I think... I can think! Did I die? Is it permanent this time?

God, what the hell did I just see, what the hell... Images, countless images of dead people floated before my eyes.

The picture appeared before my eyes unexpectedly. I was sitting, bound by metal chains to a chair. The scenery was familiar: that foul smell, this hovel...

I was in that bastard's house... That scum, that filth... Bitch, I'm here again... An infernal hatred flared up inside me.

The man stopped sharpening his saw and turned in my direction.

Surprisingly, I could see clearer now than I did then. I saw the room perfectly: strange symbols carved into the walls, pieces of bone and something resembling organs mixed with meat lying on the floor. I looked at the bastard's face—I was curious who had killed me, after all.

WHAT??? His face was obscured by some kind of mosaic blur.

Am I in a movie? He applied the saw to my arm and began to slowly saw.

A hellish, searing pain spread through my arm. DAMN YOU, I HATE YOU, YOU STUPID BASTARD, HOW DARE YOU REPEAT THIS!

I gathered every ounce of strength I had, shut my eyes tight, gritted my teeth, and tried to break free from the chains. I tensed both my arms—yes, even the one being sawed—and struggled to escape.

BITCH, BITCH, BITCH, BITCH, BITCH, BITCH, BITCH, BITCH...

Suddenly the chains snapped, and I fell forward instantly. But I didn't feel the maniac. I felt soft, small mounds pressing against my face.

I opened my eyes and was shocked: my face was buried in a small, but definitely female, chest.

Lifting my gaze, I looked up at PRIMA.

"Feels good?" she said with a smirk.

I immediately jumped back. "No, not a bit... Wait, I can speak calmly again?"

"Woah, and so much strength. God, it's like I've been reborn," I said, flexing the arm that had just been being sawed off.

"Do you want to erase your memories? Erase all the pain you experienced?" Prima took my hand. "Erase your past life?"

I looked down at my feet.

Erase my memories? Erase the pain? Erase my past life? Is she seriously asking this?

Someone told me to always smile, but was he worth listening to? Screw the pain, screw the pain!!

But immediately my head was filled with voices, hundreds of voices screaming and begging for help. Among these voices, mine is there, surely it is, one hundred percent!

And why wouldn't there be the voice of a poor schoolboy who was dismembered for hours? A schoolboy who had no mother. A schoolboy who had no father.

A hand touched my head...

What? Why are tears pouring from my eyes? What am I even doing?

A pink-haired girl walked up and pressed me to herself.

"Just like me... Please, help me!" the girl declared, hugging me tighter.

My arms embraced her in return. I held her just as tightly as she held me, her head resting on my shoulder.

I smiled.

Of course, how could I leave a girl in trouble!

My eyes opened slowly.

Warm... Soft...

The yellowish light of a lamp illuminated the room. Next to me on a chair sat a woman. Her face was lined with many wrinkles; she looked at me, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Veles, you've returned! Did you truly rise from the very earth to come back to me?" she sobbed.

The door to the room opened. The girl Prima had called Aria entered.

"Mom, how many times do I have to repeat it, that is not Dad! That is your son, Elian!!!" She walked up to the woman and put her hands on her shoulders.

"But look, it is him, my Veles, my love!!!"

At her mother's words, Aria only closed her eyes. A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Mom, let's go, you need to rest."

Aria lifted her mother from the chair, holding her by the shoulders, and led her out of the room.

How did I even end up here? I remember everything I saw, but I don't feel the previous pain. All those memories have become so distant, as if I hadn't lived through them at all.

It's so strange. I don't remember anything after the touch to my head, only vague images. Images of hugging something bright and warm... but what?

Did I say something? What did I talk about?

I pushed myself up from the bed, looking around. The room was quite modest: a bed, a chair, a small table with a lamp casting weak yellow light, books, and some wooden figurine of a woman.

I stood up, and I felt so light. The entire accumulated burden had miraculously flown off my shoulders.

I walked to the table and noticed that one of the books stood out significantly; it looked less like a book and more like a notebook. I picked it up and opened it.

The door opened.

"Elian, I need to talk to you!" Aria said.

I put the notebook back on the table.

"You're not him, are you? You're not my brother, even though everything says it's you. You even have moles in the same places..." She was looking at the floor.

I wanted to answer her, but she continued.

"You, you are... A demon or something? You know, just like the sickly brother who was dying in my arms since childhood, who I took care of for most of my life... To just rise from the dead like this and... Walk, breathe calmly, as if he was never sick at all... Just tell me, who are you?"

Her face was wet with tears, and she looked me straight in the eye...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY... I CAN'T, I CAN'T PRETEND TO BE ANOTHER PERSON, BUT CAN I SAY WHO I AM RIGHT NOW?

I turned away from her face; I simply couldn't look her in the eyes. Even though I felt physically lighter, I couldn't bear her gaze...

"Yes, I am not your brother. I have absolutely no idea how, but I died and woke up in your brother's body..."

Aria stood up. "I see..."

I heard her light footsteps and turned around.

As soon as I did, I received a slap harder than the first one; my cheek burned with hellish fire.

Aria looked down, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I think you should have died! Just died and that's it, without disturbing me and mother. You are here now only because of her... And she went mad because of that stupid father, and now this... You are just mocking us, you are worse than the devil..." She began to hit me on the shoulder.

I felt her blows, one after another. A slight pain, strangely pleasant compared to the saw, spread across my shoulder.

A tear rolled down my cheek.

"I didn't want this, I didn't want to disturb you, didn't want to disturb your mother... I... I just want to go home. I want to eat granny's cooking, fish with grandpa, even draw stupid posters with those idiots... Just lie on a comfortable bed... I want... Home..." I fell to my knees, staring at the floor.

Aria looked at me, wiping her tears.

"You want home? You think my brother doesn't want home? You could eat calmly, 'fish'—whatever that means—draw! And my brother couldn't even stand up. All he could do was lie there and wait for his last breath, rarely speaking. You... You..." She fell to her knees too and wept bitterly.

"Understand, I didn't want... didn't want this. I was brutally killed, and I woke up already being him... I'M SORRY."

All I could do was ask for forgiveness. I didn't occupy this body, this stranger's body, by my own will... But I can do nothing about it, and I can't die either—and if I could, would that be any good?

Her brother is already dead, and I am alive. Yes, I was luckier than him, but so what... So what if Lady Luck or God decided so? I won't die, under no circumstances... I can't... I simply can't...

"I... I don't know. I can't forgive you for being in his body, but... but... I can't hold a grudge either, if you are stuck in my brother's body against your will, of course. Though who knows, maybe you are an evil demon who appeared to destroy our little island," Aria said, trying to stop crying.

"I am not a demon..." I murmured quietly.

She slowly rose from the floor, wiping away her tears. "Come, I want you to see something."

I followed her. We went outside. It was quite dark and empty, only faint lights visible in the windows of some houses; presumably, the residents were already asleep.

Aria walked somewhere silently, and I followed...

The village turned out to be quite small; we walked through it in less than five minutes and ended up in a large clearing.

Nearby stood a towering building that differed greatly from the small houses in the village. At its very peak stood a statue of a woman holding a sphere in her hand; behind her back were wings, and she was quite lightly dressed—in my world, people don't walk around like that...

"Look at the sky, touch the grass, lie on it. I want... I want my brother to feel this. I want to see my little brother looking at the sky, touching the grass, running carelessly through the field. Come on, get to it!" Aria stomped her foot and looked at me sternly.

"Alright, I'll do it..."

After that, I began to fool around foolishly under the light of a myriad of stars, making snow angels in the grass, running, and performing pirouettes that were previously impossible for me.

Aria smiled, watching me. Quickly tiring, I lay on the grass; the stars in the sky were incredibly beautiful. Aria lay down next to me.

"Thank you. For once in my life, I saw my brother having fun with a carefree smile on his face. It's a pity he couldn't do that in life." She paused briefly and looked at me. "Promise me one thing: someday leave this island, go down to the Earthly Firmament, find father—or rather, that bastard—and give him a slap in the face from me!"

She hates her father so much, though it's understandable: he drove her mother to madness and abandoned his sick son. I think that man deserves a worse fate.

I also have this feeling that I already promised someone something recently...

"You said 'go down to the Earthly Firmament.' Is there a way to go down from here? I haven't seen anything flying in the sky," I asked Aria.

"It was possible once, and then the stupid King destroyed all the machines, calling the Earthly Firmament dirty and unworthy of man," Aria replied.

I got up from the ground.

"Then how did your father get there? And what kind of machines?"

She also rose from the ground, brushing herself off slightly. "The previous King sent him on an expedition to supposedly find the remaining people of Earth and instill his faith in them, but he just vanished. They couldn't find him for months and gave up... And about the machines..."

Something flashed for a second.

A man in a black cloak stood behind Aria. Her head was slowly falling from her shoulders. The entire space stretched out. I reached out a hand to somehow reach her, but the space relentlessly elongated.