Faithful Intentions

Pondering his own answer to Yumi’s problem, she continued. “The problem is that it’s completely dominating my thoughts. I can’t focus on work very well. Though I found a way to make it work, it's just completely exhausting me.” Yumi rubbed her finger over the countertop distracting her focus a little as she talked.

“I’m not going to be able to keep focused like this for long. I’m not sleeping right. I actually just lost half a day. I need to get over this fear.”

‘Yeah, it’s unhealthy to be dwelling on this...though part of the trial is going through this struggle. Given what she picked up from Aya, this was only going to make it obvious. Her skills have developed to such a degree that I’m surprised she didn’t notice it sooner. Though she had a strong drive in defeating Aya. Things have changed here.’

Chapter 569 - Faithful Intentions

Yuki moved the pot around a little, starting to place in a few of the ingredients. “Have you considered this is part of the test, Yumi?”

“Yes. Thanks to Aya, I can see all of the paths. It’s impossible not to look at all the solutions. But I’m battling emotions here. Aya had absolute control over hers and I thought I had done a pretty good job as well. But they’re overwhelming me. Irrational fears are making me doubt myself. And I can’t deny the possibility that they’re right.”

“That is the dilemma.” Things reached an equilibrium in the pot for the moment. He could step away from it and turn around to look at Yumi. Placing his hands on hers he looked at her directly. “There are plenty of ways that they could have captured you. You’ve seen them all. But looking at everything, you can see that they’ve had plenty of chances to do things to cripple you.”

“Yeah I know, but it’s not that easy to convince myself of that. My heart won’t let my mind be free.”

“Yumi, you have to believe like I do, that they are trying to help you, not hurt you. I’m certain of it.”

“But how can you be with so many unknowns?”

“I guess faith maybe?”

“Faith?”

“In yourself or maybe me?”

She looked at him a little confused. It wasn’t the answer that she expected to hear from him. There were a few thoughts to what he might be trying to say, but he wasn’t making as much sense as she thought. “You? What do you mean?”

The pot started to make a noise that signalled that he needed to return. He patted her hand and went back to the meal. Stirring things around, he kept it from burning. “As we’ve agreed, the powers that everyone has came from me, right?”

“Yes, your subconscious created the powers based roughly on outlines that fit with the individual.”

“Right. And so if I gave you your powers, part of what exists in you is a creation of me. So you need to have faith in that part of me that’s there within you. The part that wouldn’t do harm to you, that only wants the best for you. That wants you to be the best woman you can be and stand on her own without worry. Have faith in me, Yumi, that what I gave you is something good.”

Yumi sat straight up feeling more charged with something positive. It seemed to come from nowhere, but it made her feel better. Even with him nearby, recalling and discussing her troubles put a gloom over her head. That all disappeared just hearing Yuki speak. He had such a conviction with his words that she felt she could believe it. ‘My heart’s so calm now...finally…’

She rubbed her eyes looking at Yuki’s back, always wondering where his wisdom came from. It put the smile back on her face as she felt warm again. Even if nothing was solved right now, she felt at ease. “You’re always ahead of me, no matter what you do.”

“That’s not true. You’ve already passed me a while ago, Yumi.”

“Not if I have to keep relying on you whenever I get emotional.”

“Now that’s not fair to yourself. Everyone needs help at times. We aren’t people that can be alone. Support and be there for each other. Never be afraid to look to someone to lean on. It’s different from relying.”

“I know. I guess it’s something I still need to learn.”

“We’re always learning. Anyone that believes they’ve nothing left is a fool.”

“Could go for a thousand years and still not.”

Yuki picked up the pot and laid it on the only thing he could find to let it cool, which was some large plates. He didn’t need them all to serve to Yumi. Taking half of what he made, he poured it out over the plate and gave one to Yumi. He walked over with the second and leaned on the counter and looked back at Yumi across it. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, not sure I’d say focused, but cleared up for now. I don’t really feel like anything is done.”

“We’re all work in progress.”

“Don’t I know it.” She smiled at him, able to at least forget about what was troubling her for the night. There was no certainty in her mind at the moment that it wouldn’t come back. Yuki helped to push her fears back to a place where they weren’t paralyzing her, which for the moment was all she really cared about. She didn’t know if she sought an immediate fix or just relief, but she welcomed the latter.

She grabbed up the spoon and tasted the food. “Mmm, a little spicy, but I can really taste the beef in it. Tastes familiar…” Yumi took another, trying to figure out where she remembered it from.

“Glad you remembered, mostly.” A bit of teasing, he helped himself to a little of the meal while she figured it out. The gears were turning, he could see. It amused him watching her try to work it out.

Slowly as she ate more of the dinner it started to click for her. “This isn’t…”

“It is.” Yuki could see that she had that glow in her eye figuring it out.

“But that was so long ago. You still remember the meals you made back then?”

“Mostly, I tried to cook them when I could before, but being a General I had a lot of aids.”

“Thanks, that really makes me feel better.” She kept eating it until her plate was clean. It had been the best meal she had in a while . All of her turmoil soured her appetite. Though she looked back at Yuki with the meal ending. “You heading back?”

Washing the dishes and cleaning up from the small mess, he looked back at her. “Not tonight, I figured I'd stay if you wanted to talk more.” He continued whipping down the plate and then moved on to the next.

The answer surprised her a little and raised her brow. “Don’t you have work tomorrow?”

“Yes, but Tokyo has an excellent transit system.”

She smiled and leaned on the counter again watching him. “You know I don’t have the guest room setup.”

“I noticed. It’s just storage right now. We’ll figure something out.”

Yumi stood up and walked back to the living room. Her mind filled with other thoughts than her troubles. There was no telling her mind to stop, but she sunk into the couch not sure what to do about it. ‘It’s not real here...does that matter? What would he say?’ A bit of a sigh came from her lips while Yuki finished up.

Once everything finished, Yuki returned to her side and they sat in the living room. The evening passed quickly as they talked about anything that came to mind. It was difficult to stop from talking. Yumi never wanted it to end, but her fatigue eventually caught up to her. The recharge from Yuki’s surprise ran out.

By morning, her head cleared up and she felt like herself once again. Though the cloud still hung over her head, it stopped for now being a problem that required fixing immediately. Yuki bought her the time that she felt she needed to come to her own answer. Like with finding the true personality, it would be something that she had to work on coming to terms with. Faith...I think I can manage that...I think...I hope…’

For breakfast, Yuki served her another meal, something that she worried about getting used to now. She grabbed his hand before he pulled away from giving her plate. “Stay.”

There were so many different meanings in that single word. Yuki felt like they all hit him in succession. But she knew what she was asking him. Though it worried him to be too close and fall into bad habits. “Yumi…”

“I’m not asking because I need you. I’m asking because I want you.”

Grinning and poking her teasingly, Yuki relaxed. “Good thing I can see context.”

“...Yuki…”

“If that’s what you want.”

“I do.”

“I’ll make the arrangements then.”

She reached out and hugged him tightly. “Thank you.”