Chapter 7 - Where I'm From

Buzz I felt my phone get a notification. I looked down to see Ita saying “Ya Thursday works we all meet there, all you have to do Toma is get him there.” I responded with “Sounds good, 5pm right?” Then Rin responded with “Yep and don’t be a minute late”

I looked up from my phone to see Joshua still working on something on his computer. “Hey Joshua you free after school on Thursday to grab something to eat off campus”

“Ya, I’m down” He responded “Where are you thinking, Toma?”

“I was thinking something in Shinjuku, there's this really good place that makes ramen.”

The plan was in place. All I had to do was get him there. Rin and Ita had already planned out how we would ask him everything. Joshua’s carrying a large burden that he wants to hide but it’ll probably be better if he told us it.

—

“Hey Joshua!” Toma said to me as I stepped off the train

“Hey Toma” I said walking towards him “So what can I expect from this great place you have picked out?”

“Well for one thing, it has some great ramen I used to come here with my Dad all the time to get some good ramen”

“That’s good to hear!” I said as we headed down a few alley ways before coming up on the restaurant “When was the last time you came here?” I asked him

“Almost 2 weeks ago now” he said in front of me “My family came here for lunch before the orientation”

“Damn, twice in two weeks I guess it is that good”

“It definitely is, I got us the best seats in the house as well” Toma said as he opened the doors to the restaurant.

It was quiet but looked pretty nice, there weren’t that many people there, maybe half the seats were filled but that wasn’t saying much. The place seated maybe 30 people at once.

“So I guess we go up there” I asked as I pointed towards some stairs in the back of the room.

“Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner” Toma said “Hey Shota” Toma said towards the main person at the front desk.

“The others are already here,” the man said.

“Others? I thought it was just us” I asked. I was confused at what the man said. Who else could be here, and why would Toma not mention it and even say the opposite?

“Shotaaaa” Toma said through his teeth “Oh, its really nothing but Ita and Rin asked to come along last minute, guess I forgot to tell you”

I could tell he was lying but why? There was really no reason for him too. Everything was off about this, maybe he was telling the truth but that was a long shot. “Oh, that’s fine,” I said.

We both headed up the stairs with me in front of him. I could hear the creek from the wood as I took each step.

I opened the door to a large room above where there were a few more tables but not very many. At the end of the room by the window sat both Ita and Rin. They were talking, what they were saying only God knows.

“Hey how are you guys?” I said

They both looked back at each other confused as if I shouldn’t have known they would be here.

“I’m good, how about you?” Ita said

“Been feeling good for tomorrow’s test” I said “Can’t stay too long here, I need to get back for a good rest.”

“Oh, what test do you have, since I don’t have one?” Rin asked, confused.

“It’s so that I’m able to be a part of the cross country team.” I said “Well, so long as I pass that is”

Toma closed the door behind us as we both took our seats around the table. I still could tell by the way everyone was acting that something was off, what was off I couldn’t tell you. I looked around to see where the menus were but couldn’t find any.

“Hey Toma,” I asked as he turned his head towards me. “where could a man get some menus here?”

“That’s just it,” Toma said, looking back down to the floor.

“Joshua you’re here for one reason only” Ita said “we need to know?”

“Know what?” I already knew what was coming but I just had to brace for it.

“Why won’t you tell us about your past at all?” Rin asked me.

“Well, its complicated” I said “and it's extremely personal that I don’t like to talk about”

“That’s exactly why we are here Joshua.” Toma said “We’re all alone here nobody else is coming up here and it's just us 4. We have all the time in the world for you to explain it, we’re not forcing you just asking”

“I understand,” I said as I leaned back in my chair “I knew this would come up soon but damn you guys move fast. You want definitive proof that I’m not the robot”

I looked to see all three shaking their heads.

“I guess it’s time then” I sighed “this is going to take a while to just stay with me here”

“We’re all prepared to be here as long as this takes,” Toma said to me.

“My parents never truly loved me as a kid. I didn’t realize that for a long time — not until recently, when my sister got older. Her name was Rose. She was spoiled and bratty, but looking back, I shouldn’t have made such a big deal about it. Those were the good days. We’d spend hours together, playing and getting along even if I didn’t like her all that much. Yet, we were family through and through so it didn’t matter.”

“All of that changed in the late fall of my final year of middle school — her first year. I couldn’t tell you who was at fault, but… we were in a crash. Both of us were in the back of the car. It came out of nowhere, I swear. After the hit, I quickly checked to see if I was injured — thankfully, I wasn’t. But when I looked over at my sister, all I saw was…” My voice broke, and I felt tears start to run down my face.

“I saw her eyes… lifeless. Blood poured out of her head. I tried to help her, but what was done was done. My sister Rose was killed. It’s been almost a year now, and I still can’t get over it. My parents rushed over to her side not trying to help me. Which made sense I wasn’t hurt but instead they began to blame me for her death. ‘I could’ve grabbed her or something’ they would say. Even now I can’t get the sight of her out of my head. Her skull cracked open with a dead eyed look and an open mouth.”

“Joshua… holy shit, man,” Ita said. “I understand, but why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

“I didn’t know how. I had to watch someone die right next to me — not a stranger, but family. The only family I ever felt close to…”

Everyone looked shocked. Nobody seemed to know how to respond.

“I’m sorry, Joshua,” Rin finally said. “If I would’ve known, I never would’ve—”

“That’s not all,” I said, cutting her off. “After the crash, I basically abandoned my parents. I’d spend all day away from home just so I didn’t have to deal with them. I got a part-time job and worked twenty hours a week outside of school — anything to stay away.”

“That’s when I got an idea. What if I went to a boarding school overseas? Somewhere I wouldn’t have to come home for Christmas… or any breaks at all. A week later, Shiro School opened applications. I sent mine in, took the intro test online, and somehow scored high — one of the highest in the entire grade. They put me in 1-A.”

“When I told my parents, they hated it.”

‘Why would you ever want to go to Japan so far away from us?’
‘Why wouldn’t I?’ I said.
‘Don’t you want to stay close to your family?’ my mom asked.
‘It doesn’t feel like family when you don’t want me home,’ I told them.
‘What is that supposed to mean?’ my father snapped.
‘Exactly what you think it means,’ I said. ‘Why do you think I rarely come home? Why do you think I always stay late at school? It’s obvious you never loved me. You neglected me. And the moment Rose was born, you finally had the child you wanted.’”

“My father stood up and punched me in the face. He screamed, ‘So what if that’s true? We only wanted a daughter anyway.’”

“My mother said, coldly, ‘We’ll send you to that stupid school. Just don’t ever come home. Don’t ever talk to us.’”

“I went to my room and shut the door. I had about a month before I could leave for school. I spent that month studying Japanese, learning about the culture, and preparing myself for the future ahead of me.”

“I didn’t know what to expect when I came to Japan. All I knew was that it would be a new experience — and that I’d finally be away from my horrendous parents. A breath of fresh air. A chance to start over.”

I let out a shaky breath. “I know that’s a lot, but… that’s all I have to say. This is probably the most I’ve ever talked to anyone about this.” I said as tears came from my eyes.

“Joshua…” Toma said “I’m so sorry. It all makes sense now — why you cracked, why you’re socially awkward… everything.”

As I started to cry more I heard Toma trying to comfort me more “It’s okay man you don’t have to deal with it anymore. It’s in the past”

“And you’re here with us now” Ita said standing up “I can’t start to understand what you’ve been through but, we can help you now. We are your family, we can help you, so please Joshua just let us help you”

“You guys-”

“I agree Ita, we can help you Joshua” Rin said struggling to find her word “We want to, and I believe that we can help you. I understand what I did was wrong, Ohka and I were out of line at lunch last week. We should’ve understood to stop but we just couldn’t. I apologize so please just help us help you.”

“Thank you,” I said more clearly “Thank you, to all of you guys. You can’t see it now but you’ve already been helping me the entire time. From small talk on the first night I was here. To just be able to have fun at cross-country practice, it was all so awesome. That has all helped me get away from this, I’ve tried running from it, but now with your guys help I can finally get over it and stop hiding it from others.”

We all smiled.

“So can we actually get some food” I asked wiping my tears away “I have to actually eat you know.”

“Sure, sure” Toma said standing up “I’ll head down to ask from some menus and that we’re ready to get some food.”

“Thanks,” Ita and Rin said.

We all regained our composure as Toma returned a minute later with menus for everyone except himself.

“Why don’t you have one?” I asked

“Oh, I already know what I want I’ve been here so many times”

“That’s right you did mention that” I said

“Why do you come here so often then” Rin asked him

“Ita already knows this, but my family is good friends with the owner so we come here constantly plus it has some great food so I come here constantly.”

“That’s cool man” I said “but before we finish up on our whole talk was that good enough to clear me?”

“Yes, of course” Toma said with certainty “I think we are all in agreement on that.”

“We are” Rin said “I for one don’t think you need to say anymore and that we are all clear from here on out so you guys can stop that test you have going on”

“Good point plus I feel a lot better when someone isn't looking at me the entire time I’m sleeping judging me even if it is Toma.”

“Same here buddy” Toma added

“Now Rin I know you want to continue to do this with us but well” I said looking down trying to find my words “I can’t help but feeling you aren’t really all that composed inside. I am not really sure how to put it but you’re putting on a facade.”

“Ya, I mean but we all do right” she said nervously “We all put on a different face for people that aren't our true selves.”

“Alright, my bad, but I was just pointing something out that looked interesting.”

“Well you’re wrong”

“Now before you just devolve slowly into small talk is there anything that someone would like to bring up” Toma asked

“What do you mean devolve into small talk?” Ita asked

“That’s exactly my point Ita, some idiot like you just starts to ramble about something off topic that could help us instead you just add dead weight to the rest of the group”

“DEAD WEIGHT!” Ita yelled

“Ya that’s what I’m calling you”

As Toma and Ita started to argue more I turned towards Rin to say “Hey thanks alot for everything here today”

“Hey, it's really no problem at all”

“Well, if it means anything I’d like for you to know out of everyone. I trust you more than anyone right now.”

She was surprised at what I had said until I added “Well, I guess you, Ita, and Toma.”

“Well I’m glad” she said, almost embarrassed for some reason.

We all laughed and joked until we left. While Rin joined along for the most part but she did occasionally stay quiet for some reason I wouldn’t know until she told me.

—

Toma and I made it back to our dorm in the darkness of night. “Hey, I think I’ll just go straight to bed to get ready for tomorrow”

“Oh, I completely forgot Joshua I’m so sorry”

“It’s fine man. I just need to be on top of my warm up tomorrow and to keep my mind clear, then I should be fine.”

“Do you think you’ll do it?”

“Hell no, but it’ll be fun to try at the very least.”

“Thats the spirit” he said enthusiastically “Hey, do you mind having me come to watch you”

“I mean sure but it’ll be pretty boring you get to watch me start and end. Maybe once or twice in between that but I’m not sure”

“It’s fine, I just want to watch. You constantly talk about it so I wanna see what it’s all about”

“Sure, I don’t mind.” I said as I layed down on my bed “I guess this means I have to watch some basketball games when the season comes”

“You sure as hell have to”

“Hahaha” we both laughed.

Authors note: Hello, thanks for reading, I'm considering stopping now. I don't have too much time it really just comes down to whether or not you guys enjoy this story and want for me to continue. I'll try my best as always if I do continue but I'll upload less consistently.