Save Me?

“What do you mean ‘a way to save me’? What do I need to be saved from?”

“You’re in so much danger, Eddus!” Tears sprang from both Abbi’s eyes, streaming down her cheeks.

“What? What danger?”

“You shouldn’t be here.” Shaking her head, Abbi began to turn away.

Eddus placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her again to face him. He could see the urgency and fear in her eyes.

“What are you talking about, Abbi?”

“Eddus, they’re going to kill you.” Abbi’s jaw clenched.

“What?” Upon hearing her words, Eddus felt himself suddenly go numb. He removed his hand from her arm, taking a step back. “You said that nobody was trying to kill me.”

“I can’t let it happen. I won’t.”

“Abbi...”

“I’m sure you’ve been told that there are no prisoners here, Eddus. Think about what that means. In this realm, if someone is found to be innocent, they are set free. If they’re found to be guilty, they’re put to death.”

“But Beagan said –”

“Who? Eddus, there is no Beagan! I don’t know who it was you spoke with when you went before the queen, but you can be sure that was not her name. ‘Beagan’ is a word that means small. It wasn’t her real name, Eddie. It was a fake name!”

“But, she said they would take my case to the queen.”

“There is no queen, Ed!” Abbi took his hand, meeting his gaze, and shaking her head. “Not in the way that you think. The queen is a collective, not a singular person. There hasn’t been a queen for thousands of years. But that doesn’t matter right now. I don’t want you to die!”

Eddus stood, stunned, looking down at the young woman in front of him.

“But...”

“Eddus, what we call the queen’s ruling is a decision based on the opinion of those who currently live in this realm. When a ruling is handed down, it is for the good of the fae, passed by the fae. And they will protect this world, no matter what. You didn’t come here by mistake. You knew that the pixie-ring would bring you here.”

“I only wanted to make sure that you were all right.” Eddus sank slowly onto the bed. “I told Beagan- or whoever she is -that I’d leave and never come back.”

“Eddus, they’ll never allow you to leave.”

• • •

“Are you sure? About this, I mean.”

Eddus kissed Abbi’s forehead. They’d been sitting side by side for several minutes in silence, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Eddus, I have been up all night looking into it,” Abbi said. “It was part of the reason I had to leave you so quickly.”

His stomach knotting in pain, Eddus closed his eyes, feeling lost. He clenched his jaw as his mind raced. Everything he’d just been told came back to him all at once. He could not have imagined anything like this when he stepped from his world into the faerie ring.

“I love you,” Abbi said softly. She took a deep breath.

Eddus looked down at her in surprise. It wasn’t something he’d expected.

“I do... love you, you know,” she said. “And I don’t want you to die.”

Eddus didn’t respond. He tilted his head, touching his cheek to the top of her head. Had this been another time and place, had it been a different situation... Instead, he felt hollow and uncertain. He couldn’t process the thought that his life may be getting shorter with each passing minute.

“Eddus, mate with me.” Lifting her head from his shoulder, Abbi turned to him.

A look of concern came over him. He remained still, looking into her serious face.

“Mate with me, Eddus,” she said again. She watched him shake his head in confusion and thought quickly for another way to express what she was saying. “Marry me. It’s what I’ve wanted to tell you since I came back. If we can successfully create a mate-bond, then we are linked to one another forever.”

“Marry you?” The words sounded foreign to him even as Eddus said them. His mind raced.

“Yes. Marry me. Become my bonded mate.”

“But you just said that they are going to kill me!” Eddus shook his head.

His mind spinning, he could hardly comprehend the words. It wasn’t something he could even think about in the current circumstances. He looked away, staring blankly at the floor.

“How?” he said. “I can’t marry you.”

“Eddus...”

“I love you, Abbi.”

“And I love you, Eddus Brandt.”

“You don’t understand. It’s because I love you that I am here, and in this predicament. If you had said those words to me under different circumstances, Abbi... But I can’t marry you. I couldn’t do that to you.”

Abbi opened her mouth to respond, but Eddus raised a hand, stopping her, and continued.

“What kind of person would I be? How could I tell you that I love you? How? How could I marry you, knowing that at any time now, I might be taken away and killed?” he asked, still looking away.

“I do love you, Eddus. And I’m trying to save your life. It is you who doesn’t understand. I used the word marry, so that you comprehend it in your words. A mate-bond is so much more than a marriage. It connects and binds us to each other forever. Not legally... not like a human marriage. This is a connection between us that cannot ever be broken. It links us to one another, our hearts, our minds, our senses. We become one spirit.”

For a few moments, neither of them spoke. Abbi took his hand.

“And when they kill me?” Eddus shook his head miserably, a knot forming in his stomach. “How could I become connected to you as closely as you’ve said, knowing that soon I might die. If what you’re saying is even possible, how could I?”

Abbi lowered herself to her knees in front of him, placing herself in his line of vision. She watched his face, unable to imagine all that could be going on in his thoughts. He hadn’t come into her world out of any curiosity or with any selfish or malicious intent. His only concern was for her safety, which had only been spurred on by a single statement she had made and then completely forgotten about. He didn’t deserve any of this.

She thought about the time they’d spent together before she’d returned to her realm. She recalled creeping into his room at night to crawl into bed with him. She thought about waking together with him in the mornings, the deep connection she’d felt being with him, and hoping that he’d felt it as well. She thought of their physical encounter the night before she’d returned... she longed to be with Eddus, back in his flats above the warehouse.

Abbi’s chest tightened while she watched the conflict in his gaze. Patiently, she sat looking at him until she saw him regard her again, his eyes focusing on her face.

“You don’t have to die,” she told him, with a hopeful smile. “If we successfully form a mate-bond, we’ll be one, connected. We’ll be seen as one in this realm. You’ll be one of us by the laws of this realm, and by those laws, we do not put one of our own to death.”

Abbi watched Eddus again retreat into thought, his gaze shifting. She placed a hand on his, watching his jaw tighten, the muscles below his temples clenching several times, his eyes seeing something past her. She could only wish that she could know what he was thinking.

Eddus felt lost as he looked at her smiling at him.

“How old are you, Abbi?”

“Eddie...” The smile vanished from her face, and she took her hand off his shoulder, leaning back a little.

“How old are you?”

Abbi shook her head.

“Abbi...”

“The difference in our ages doesn’t mean anything here,” she said softly. It was again clear that it was not something she wanted to talk about.

He’d noticed it before, but dismissed it; something about the topic made her uncomfortable. Eddus sat forward on the bed, looking at Abbi with a worried expression, while a sudden feeling of alarm began to creep into his chest.

“Things are different in this realm,” Abbi touched his cheek, which he involuntarily pulled away from. Her eyes widened, and she raised herself on her knees, looking up at him, her own expression now worried. “What’s the matter, Eddus?”

“We weren’t in this realm when we... I was worried just now about how I could marry you and then widow you. I was worried about how we could mate, or however we refer to it, but now, I’m concerned that... I worry that... How old are you? Have I broken a law?”

“Eddus.”

“You never actually told me your age.” Eddus looked at her, his heart starting to race. He began to have an ill feeling deep in his stomach.

Abbi bit her lip as she leaned slightly towards him, her brows rising slightly.

“Abbi, are you even eighteen?”

At this, Abbi’s eyes widened, a look of shock on her face. She began to laugh so hard she had to put an arm on Eddus’s knee, laying her forehead on it. She shook her head as she laughed, her head still resting on her arm. When she did look up, a tear rolled down her cheek, and her eyes danced. She tried not to laugh again, at his bewildered face, or at the thought of his question.

“Eddus, I promise you have nothing to worry about.” Abbi used her arm to press against Eddus’ leg and stood up. She touched a fingertip to his lips, still shaking her head.

“Abbi, I have to know.” Eddus looked up at the pixie, his chest still tight and a wrenching feeling in his gut. “Especially now.”

Abbi’s eyes still danced as she gazed at him, narrowing them.

“Please, Abbi.”

“I’m thinking,” Abbi told him, “give me a moment.”

“What is there to think about?” Eddus watched her face. “How old are you?”

Abbi’s brows knitted for a moment, her eyes shifting down and to the left. She then let out a short laugh and bit her lip again. She smiled at Eddus, who stared at her questioningly.

“Eddie, I passed eighteen a hundred and eighty years ago,” Abbi said finally.

“W-what?” Eddus stammered. He felt himself get lightheaded as he tried to process what he’d just heard.

“I told you that things are different here.” Abbi’s smile faltered, and there was an uncertainty in her voice as she watched Eddus carefully, gauging his reaction.

“Are you... fucking... Are you fucking with me again?”

Abbi shook her head slowly. She took a small step back as Eddus stared at her with a look of disbelief.

“You’re how old?”

“Two hundred,” Abbi said, biting her lip, a look of worry in her eyes, “and two.”

“Now you’re fucking with me.” Eddus chuckled, shaking his head. “Right?”

“Three...” Abbi looked down at the floor.

“What?”

“Two hundred and three...?”

Eddus pulled back. He blinked, his head spinning.

“You’re- wha-wait, what? Abbi, how old are you?”

“I did tell you that I’m older than you may think.” Wringing her wrist, Abbi shuffled her bare feet.

Unable to form words and barely able to comprehend what had just been said to him, Eddus stared at the pixie, his mouth ajar, and confusion visible on his face. The whole atmosphere had changed.

Just moments before, he’d been told that his life was in danger, but that there was a way for him to escape death. And although he didn’t quite understand everything that Abbi had told him, he could see that it was something that she had complete faith in. On the surface, it should have been something to be excited about.

Now, he could barely remember a thing she’d told him as he tried to grasp this new bit of information. He had wondered several times, going back to the very night that he’d met Abbi, about her age. He’d asked her on more than one occasion.

Until now, he’d been curious due to an internal ethical debate. Until now, he had worried that their friendship and their very association might have been inappropriate. But-

“I’m two hundred and three years old, Eddus Brandt... in your realm.” Abbi dropped to her knees in front of the human, taking his hand in hers. She pressed her lips to the back of his hand.

Eddus again shook his head, unable to speak. His gaze travelled from her wings down to the back of her head. With his free hand, he brushed a lock of her hair to the side.

Slowly, Abbi raised her head. Her eyes glistening with tears, she watched Eddus for a moment, who did not meet her gaze.

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Abbi whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not possible.” Eddus’ blank gaze shifted to her face.

It was the same face he’d seen every day for the weeks she’d spent with him. The same youthful features that had at first made him constantly question whether or not she was old enough to be associating with, but that same look in her eyes.

“It can’t be possible.”

Abbi dropped her gaze, then looked again at him, her eyes pleading with him. “Eddus, I promise I wasn’t deceiving you. I just couldn’t lie to you and give you a false number, so I avoided the question. I did tell you that... I didn’t mean to...”

Nodding blankly, Eddus stared forward, past Abbi. Slowly, a smile formed on his lips, and he began to laugh. A chuckle at first, he pursed his lips, before laughing out loud, unable to keep it in. Closing his eyes, Eddus leaned his head back, still laughing quietly. He looked down at the bewildered girl on the floor in front of him.

“Eddie?” Abbi leaned back just enough to look at Eddus again, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand.

“I’ve been so concerned from the moment I met you.”

“What?”

“Abbi, I asked you so many times.”

“My age.”

“Yes.”

A look of realization washed over her face, and she gasped, her eyes widening..

“Just how old- How young did you think I am?”

Abbi lowered herself, sitting with her feet under her. She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes and giving Eddus a sidelong look. She let go of his hand.

Eddus’ face fell as he shook his head.

“Did you really think I was-” She pretended to search for the word. “...underage?”

“No! I don’t know, Abbi. I-” Eddus inhaled sharply, his chest aching as he did.

“Eddus,” Abbi’s brows knit. With a perplexed look, she lowered her head, glancing from left to right, “I stayed with you for weeks. We slept in the same bed. We... we...”

A look of surprise and then horror came over Eddus. His heart raced. He shook his head, pulling his hands towards himself, watching Abbi’s shoulders begin to shake.

“Oh my god, Abbi! No! I didn’t- I never would have- I’m so-”

“Eddie, no!” Abbi slowly raised her head. Her lips were pursed, and she was trying not to smile. Her shoulders shook again as she stifled a laugh. “Please, don’t. I’m just fucking with you! Really.”

Closing his eyes, Eddus exhaled slowly, feeling cold. His chest ached as he breathed out. His heart raced, and he tried to slow his breathing while simultaneously thinking about, and simultaneously trying to forget, what the tiny woman in front of him had just said. For a moment, he wondered if anything she’d just told him was true or not.

He took several deep breaths, trying to quell the sickness he felt in the pit of his stomach.

“Eddie, you’re shaking.” Abbi’s hand squeezed his, at which Eddus tried to pull away. Her smile waned as she watched him take several deep breaths, and she tightened her grip.

Keeping his eyes closed, Eddus remained silent and breathed deeply, while searching for something to say. He felt ill. His entire life, or what may be left of it, was now engulfed in turmoil, which was compounded by thinking about it. And yet Abbi could somehow still make light of things...

“Eddie.”

Shaking his head again, Eddus’s shoulders slumped as he slowly exhaled a long breath. He did his best to calm himself when, slowly, something dawned on him.

“You said ‘if ’...”

Eddus opened his eyes, looking past the pixie toward the chair in the corner on the opposite side of the room. His heart still beat so rapidly that he could feel it in his throat. He struggled to put her teasing out of his head.

“What?” Abbi blinked in surprise.

“Before... You said ‘if ’ we successfully form a bond.” His expression was unchanged, and he continued to gaze vacantly past her. “I don’t know what that means, but what if- ?”

“Eddie, please don’t worry about that. I shouldn’t have said it that way. I should have said when,” Abbi told him. “Please, forget what I said. I would not have brought this up if I thought that anything could go wrong. I meant ‘when’. It’s very rare that a bond is unsuccessful between two people who love one another.”

“But it does happen?”

“Do you trust me, Eddus Brandt?”

“I do,” he said, unsure of his answer after everything that had just transpired.

After a moment, Eddus looked into Abbi’s eyes. Her gaze was unwavering, though full of emotion. He slowly nodded.

“Of course I do.”

“Then please, trust me. I’m responsible for all of this, and I won’t let anything happen to you.” She stood, leaning down to kiss him, before adding, “I love you so much. When you told me that you were in love with me, I had to go make sure, but this will work. It will save your life. And I want this. I do want it. I am so sorry I got you into this.”

As her words sank in, Eddus blinked in surprise. He nodded slowly and kissed her again, touching her cheek with his fingertips.

“I have to go now, Eddie. There are some things I have to get so that we can perform the mate-bond ritual.” She touched her forehead to his, closing her eyes. “I will be back as soon as I can.”

Rising to her feet, Abbi walked to the door, tapping against it. As it opened slightly, she turned to look at Eddus, who still looked lost in all of this, once more before she exited the room.