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Timeline $§&%§$

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Wide walls framed a big room while a woman in white welcomed a bothered boy, barely her size, clothed in a wet vest, who studied his surroundings.

“Hi, Kurono,” she said, “I'm Terra. How are you today?”

“I'm great. Thanks for asking.” he told her, sounding slightly sarcastic, “Oh, one question. Who am I? Where am I? Who are you? And what's going on?”

“Right,” Terra said with a serene smile, “so, you, Kurono Oda, are dead. Your life on Earth has ended, and you are now in the next phase of your existence in the universe.”

“Cool.” concluded Kurono, in a calm, cold voice, “Cool. I have some questions.”

“Thought you might.” mumbled Terra.

“How did I die?” Kurono questioned, “I-I don't remember. And why am I drenched?”

“Yes,” Terra told him, while laughing lightly, “um, in cases of traumatic or embarrassing deaths, we erase the memory to allow for a peaceful transition.”

“I see. Um, so who was right?” he asked, the end of his earthly existence slowly settling in, “I mean about all of this?”

“Well, let's see.” Terra said, her hand holding a number of notes, “Mormons are a little bit right, Raelians a little bit. Dudeists, Jedi, Pastafarians, every religion guessed about 5%, except for Michael Schur.”

“Who... who's Michael Schur?” Kurono asked, clearly confused.

“Well, Michael was a producer, writer, director and actor,” Terra replied readily. “He wrote the script for a show about philosophy and the afterlife called 'The Good Place' where he got like 92% correct. I mean, we couldn't believe what we were watching.”

She suddenly pointed to a painted picture on one of the white walls, “That's him, actually, right up there. He's pretty famous around here. I'm very lucky to have that.”

“So... what now?” Kurono asked.

“Hm... you weren't hit by a truck,” Terra said, with a calculated chuckle, “but we will still grant you the standard procedure for Japanese man children.”

“Meaning?” Kurono asked, visibly worried.

“Reincarnation into a fantasy realm,” Terra said softly. “Swords, Sorcery, and so on. But no slavery. Screw that shit.”

A translucent screen abruptly appeared in Kurono's field of view.

On its digital display, a single sentence was written:

“You have been chosen for reincarnation.”

Below it, two alternatives appeared, “Accept” and “Decline”.

The screen followed Kurono's vision as his view wandered back to Terra.