Chapter 2: The Weight Between Heartbeats

"I saw the moonlight on my desk, but there was no moon in the sea of stars."

                                    ....

That Winter weekends arrived quietly, like pages turning without sound. On a calm Sunday afternoon, Jeain walked slowly along the street, his hands resting inside his jacket pockets while the warm seasonal wind brushed gently across his face. The sunlight felt softer than usual, filtered through pale clouds that moved lazily across the sky.

The trees lining the road swayed gently, their branches moving like they were breathing with the wind. Dry leaves scratched softly against the pavement as they rolled past his shoes. He quietly told himself the wind felt warm, almost comforting in a strange way.

Homework had drained his energy, and walking felt like the easiest way to empty his thoughts. He passed by the park where he once sat alone, doing nothing except watching time move. The swings moved slightly even though no one sat on them, creaking quietly like they remembered laughter from another day.

He kept walking and soon passed the mall. The glass walls reflected sunlight in sharp flashes that forced him to narrow his eyes slightly. For a brief moment, he remembered standing there, holding a simple white scarf before handing it to her. The memory passed quickly, like a cloud covering the sun for only a second.

After nearly an hour of walking, he reached the quiet beach and sat down on a cold metal bench facing the sea. The ocean stretched endlessly, reflecting sunlight like scattered silver dust across moving water. 

The salty air filled his lungs as waves rolled forward and collapsed softly onto the shore. He told himself it was peaceful. Then he noticed something unexpected.

Not far from where he sat, Anika stood near the shoreline. She was not alone. She was standing beside another boy, talking animatedly, 

her hands moving as she jumped between random thoughts just like she always did. The boy reacted to her words, laughing, responding, matching her energy naturally. Unlike him.

She looked happy. Jeain felt something sharp press into his chest, like a thin needle slipping between his ribs.

He quietly asked himself what she was doing. She had not noticed him, but he had already noticed her. His thoughts tangled together as he questioned why he was even thinking like this. He tried to brush it off, telling himself there was no reason to care.

But his eyes stayed locked on her. Then he noticed the white scarf still wrapped carefully around her neck.

The sunlight was strong, and even from a distance he could see the warmth in the air. The boy beside her seemed to notice too, gesturing casually while suggesting she should remove the scarf because it was hot.

She refused. The boy insisted again, sounding more confused than annoyed. She refused again, more firmly this time.

Something inside Jeain suddenly felt lighter, like a heavy weight had been quietly lifted off his chest without permission. The relief confused him more than the earlier pain. He silently asked himself why he felt better now.

Thoughts began stacking over each other inside his mind, too fast to separate. Before they could swallow him completely, he stood up and turned away, choosing movement over thinking. He walked again, faster this time, letting the sound of waves slowly disappear behind him.

After some time, he passed a vending machine standing alone near the roadside, its bright display glowing even under daylight. He stopped and told himself he was thirsty. As he reached into his pocket and placed a coin into the machine, a memory surfaced without warning.

He remembered her complaining about a vending machine eating her coin while she talked endlessly about unrelated things. He quietly wondered why he was remembering such a small, silly moment.

He did not understand what he was feeling, and he did not try to understand it either. The confusion sat quietly inside him, heavy but not painful enough to force answers.

After grabbing his drink, he stepped back onto the sidewalk and exhaled slowly. He told himself he should go home. And this time, he started walking without looking back.