Late Lunch

Haruto and I settled for a small ramen bar just outside of campus. It's not very popular despite its strategic location, so the restaurant was always either fully empty or only hosting a few people.

Next to me, Haruto slurped a massive bite.

"Mm~! Yeah, this place never misses. Especially on a chilly day like today, nothing else can match up. And I'm confident in that statement."

"Bold, but I can't necessarily disagree," I scoffed, taking a bite. "Yeah. You're right. This place really never misses."

"Told ya."

For a while, we ate and talked about all the random drama that's been making its way across the campus.

First and foremost, there was a party that happened three days ago, right at the start of the weekend. Apparently, the police had to be called because it got way too chaotic. It was actually during that party that Junko cheated on me. 

"Alright. Spill the beans," Haruto said.

"The beans? What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on. Are you seriously gonna act all nonchalant and oblivious? Chihara Ouka. What did she wanna see you for?"

"It was nothing crazy, so don't start drawing up your own conclusions. She was just returning the umbrella I lent her last night."

"Uh-huh. Did you get her phone number?"

I stopped before I could go for another bite.

"No, you weirdo."

"Whaaat? That was the perfect opportunity, man!"

"I'm not like you. Just because I have one positive interaction with a cute girl doesn't mean I'm gonna push myself onto her."

"Eh?! Are you trying to say that I do that?!"

"Think as you please."

Eventually, we finished up. After paying for our meals, we promptly left and joined the traffic of commuters on the bustling city streets.

"Do you not find Chihara attractive or something?" Haruto asked.

"Dude, are you still on that?"

"I'm just curious, is all. Did you know that Chihara was at the center of a beef between the swim team's number one and the new student council president right after Summer break?"

"I... can't say that I have."

"Yeah, it's kind of crazy. They both asked her out at the same time during the club advertising event. She rejected them both and ended up dating a longtime friend just to keep them from pursuing her any further."

"A longtime friend, huh?"

"It's exactly what you're thinking. The same guy who ended up cheating her recently."

We turned at a corner past a bakery. The smell alone almost drew me in, then I remembered that I had just downed a whole bowl of ramen.

"So what does that have to do with me?" I asked, to which Haruto threw an arm around my shoulder.

"Hah! Kinoshita Kazuha, my good friend, despite your good looks, you are far too pure and innocent for this world."

"I already don't like where this is going..."

"Chihara Ouka isn't just some random girl you happened to lend your umbrella to. Like I said before, she's cute, smart, and kind — so much that she had two very popular guys gunning for her. Because of that, she's pretty much closed herself off. Never entertaining a guy for any longer than a minute, never giving them a hint that she might be interested. At least... until you."

We stopped at a crosswalk. The pedestrian crossing light was red, so as much as I wanted to run away from Haruto's nonsensical rant, I couldn't.

"I think you're reading too much into this," I sighed. "She was just returning my umbrella. And besides, I was the one who gave it to her, so it's not like she was the first to approach me."

"Ah-ah, you're missing the bigger picture here, Kazuha! Chihara wouldn't even accept gifts, let alone a freaking umbrella from some random guy in her last class."

Thinking back on it, I didn't just lend her my umbrella. I practically forced her to take it, not even giving her a chance to say no. Maybe I shouldn't bring that up. Otherwise, Haruto will be supplied with even more ammunition.

"How do you even know so much about her?" I mumbled. "Are you sure you're not the one who's interested in her?"

"Nope. She's not my type. You see, I'm something like a repository for drama. And this?"—he drew a circle around my face with his fingers—"This is peak drama. So? I answered your question. How about answering mine?"

Chihara Ouka.

As Haruto says, she is cute. Maybe she is smart, but I wouldn't know something like that. As for the fact that she's a kind-hearted person and someone who's chill to be around... I wouldn't know that either. I only met her yesterday and had one conversation with her.

"I guess... I do find her attractive," I replied. "At the same time, though, I know close to nothing about her, so that's where I'll end it."

"Well, you could get to know her."

"Dude. She just got cheated on. Stop being weird."

"Eh?!"

Eventually, we hit an intersection.

"Time to split up, Kazuha."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow."

"Oh, and one more thing."

"Hmm?"

"About Junko... Regardless of how you think you feel, there's gonna be some residual feelings. Whether it's longing or resentment, try not to let it get to you, okay? You're not to blame."

"...Yeah. Thanks, Haruto."

"For sure, man. Sleep well."

With that, we went our separate ways.

Unlike me, Haruto wasn't accepted into the college dormitory system. It's unfortunate, but on the other hand, I'm not sure if I want him living anywhere near me. That sounds more like an annoyance.

To his credit, he's not the person I would consider the most annoying in my life. No... Not even close. That honor belongs to the girl who just texted me.

[Junko]: "Hey, Kazuha. Hope you're doing well. It seemed like you were going about your day just fine earlier, so that's good, I guess. Anyway, call me when you can. I wanna talk."

At first, I genuinely thought about it. Even though we've had more downs than ups, I missed having her around. We got along when we wanted to, and at times, it really did seem like we liked each other.

I let out a bitter laugh, because what the hell is even that? What a twisted, messed-up way to describe our relationship.

That's what it was, though, and I had gotten used to it after so long.

Too long.

I slipped my phone back into my pocket and entered my dorm room. After slinging my back at the corner, I dropped face-first onto my bed and sighed.

Haruto says that I look fine, and maybe he's right. But if he is ... then why is my heart still aching?

Memories of Junko began playing themselves in my head like a broken record player: our dates, our trips, our quiet hangout sessions that never really seemed out of place. I thought we were doing okay. We weren't toxic or anything, but we weren't as lovey-dovey as other couples our age.

I was fine with that. As long as I had her next to me, I could handle that much.

Only now am I realizing she never felt the same. Maybe she's been thinking about leaving for a while. That's probably why she was so quick to get in bed with another guy.

Now, it's leaving me with one glaring question that I can't help but ask.

"Did I do something wrong, Junko?"

No one answered. Of course, not. Even if she were here, she probably would've dodged the question.

Haruto said I shouldn't blame myself. Likewise, I share the same sentiment. I didn't do anything wrong, did I?

"So why...?"

As much as I tried to hold it back, the tears came out anyway. I didn't bother wiping them. I just let them fall till my bedsheets were drenched.

I shut my eyes, hoping they'd stay closed. At least for a while.

When I opened them again, everything felt off. My body was stiff, my legs felt numb, and my face was cold and dry.

Did I fall asleep?

I pushed myself up, which proved to be way harder than it sounded. My eyes locked onto the digital clock on my desk.

It read, "1:23 AM".

"Damn..."

That wasn't just a nap. I slept for eight hours straight. And for some reason, I'm still tired.

With a deep groan, I stood, grabbing a water bottle from the minifridge before exiting the dorm room.