Coercion in Space

“We probably shouldn’t do this again, Randy.” I grabbed my brother’s wrist just before he could press the doorbell to the familiar apartment door that we stood in front of.

He turned his head toward me. “I thought you wanted to consult with her, little bro?”

“Yeah, but I was thinking it’d be during her normal office hours, not 4:00 AM in the morning.” I tried my hardest to whisper, so as to not disturb any of the neighbors. “The last time we did this, she wasn’t thrilled.”

“No time to wait. We need to get the ball rolling on this ASAP. ” He broke my grip and began to spam the door bell.

“You’re going to get yourself punched or slapped again.” I sighed under my breath, as he continued ringing it.

The sound of tired feet could be heard sliding toward the door. A moment later, it slid open revealing Mindy’s tired and irritated face…

“We’re auditioning for a reality TV show!” Randy loudly declared.

“...” Without a response, she immediately pressed her door’s close button.

Randy shoved his foot in the way to stop it. “Also my little bro has a bomb in his stomach and the Space IRS wants to arrest me for tax evasion.”

She glared at him with tired eyes. “I have no Idea what you’re talking about, but can you quit showing up here at the crack of dawn every time you have a problem?”

“Can’t make any promises, accountant chick.” My brother smirked. “I bet if I called your mom, she’d be willing to help us at 4:00 AM in the morn-.”

Mindy met him with an elbow to the ribs. She rolled her eyes at him, as she let out a sigh. “Since I know you drug your brother here against his will, you guys might as well come in before you wake the neighbors.”

“Appreciated.” Randy coughed as he grabbed his chest.

The two of us stepped through her doorway, as she ushered us into her small studio apartment. Entering into her frontroom, the scent of day-old pizza filled my nostrils. Empty take-out boxes littered the plain wood center table in front of her small worn out loveseat couch, which was piled with dirty laundry.

“Man, your house is messy.” Randy remarked.

“Maybe you shouldn't show up to people's homes unannounced then.” She snapped back.

“I-I think it looks clean.” I quietly simped under my breath.

“Alright accountant chick, I'm going to cut to the chase… Can I use your bathroom?” My brother anxiously tapped his foot.

Mindy shook her head, as she let out a huff. “Whatever, just don't be doing anything weird in there.”

“Can’t make any promises.” Running to her bathroom off to the side, Randy popped his head out just before closing the mechanical sliding door. “Little bro, while I take care of ‘business’, give her the run down.” With that, he pressed the close button, sealing himself in, leaving just Mindy and me alone.

“N-nice weather we’ve been having.” I nervously blurted out. My heart was aggressively beating, as my palms became drenched in sweat.

She slightly tilted her head, confused. “I mean we live in a domed space city, it’s not like the weather ever changes.”

“I guess you're right…” I nervously tried to laugh it off.

“So what’s going on with you guys now?” She casually breezed over my initial awkwardness, cutting to the chase.

I let out a breath, as I shook my head. “Where do I even begin?... It all started yesterday after we left the planet, Crapooine…” Recounting the series of unfortunate events that occurred the prior day, I walked her through every detail. “... And now we’re trying to get on this reality TV show to win the one million stollar prize, so Randy doesn’t go to prison and the bomb in my stomach doesn’t detonate.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised by Randy unintentionally committing tax evasion and being in debt to the Robo-Mafia, but I can only imagine what you’re going through.” She lowered her voice. “No offense, but I don’t understand how you’re still at your brother’s side after all that.”

I nodded. “Oh, I was pretty pissed at him earlier, but like it or not, he and I are in this together.”

“Still, you already have that allergy to red meat and now you have to deal with a bomb inside you." She gently reached her hand out and touched my shoulder. “Just so you know, if you ever need to talk to someone, I’m here for you.”

It turned silent, as the two of us stared into each other’s eyes. My heart was rapidly beating. At that moment I contemplated shooting my shot. “H-hey Mindy… if I do end up blowing up, I just wanted to say that I li-.”

“Yo accountant chick!” Randy shouted, as the bathroom door slid open. “You got a plunger I can borrow.”

“What did you do!?” She shot him a dirty look, as the antenna on top of her head angrily twitched.

He shrugged. “Sorry, it ended up being bigger than I expected.”

And just like that my moment with Mindy ended…

🍔🍔🍔

After getting the ‘incident’ Randy caused in the bathroom resolved, the three of us reconvened in Mindy’s living room. Shoving her dirty laundry onto the floor, she made room for us to sit on the couch.

Randy, however, remained standing front and center. “So, accountant chick, in your opinion, what are the odds that we ace this audition and get on this show.”

“Honestly, probably pretty high.” She plainly responded.

“Wait, really?” My brother and I simultaneously remarked, surprised by her answer.

“Yeah, those reality tv shows are all staged for the most part. They intentionally choose contestants based on the entertainment factor above all.”

Randy looked at her skeptically. “That can't be right. Why the duck would it be called a reality show if it wasn’t all real?”

“Some aspects are probably real, but it’s all about ratings. People don’t watch boring TV shows.” She reached for a rectangular remote control that sat beside her on the couch's armrest. Pressing the on button with her thumb, an eighty-five inch holographic rectangle projected out from a tiny beacon on her wall.

“Duck, that's a big holo-TV.” Randy stared in awe, as Mindy flipped through the channels. “We should definitely get one of these for the ship, little bro.”

I shook my head. “Stay focused, Randy.”

Eventually, Mindy stopped on a show with a bunch of middled aged alien women screaming at each other and flipping tables. “Take this show for example. Do you think anyone would watch it if these women weren’t fighting in every other scene?”

“None of them are hot like your mom, so probably not.” Randy chuckled.

Mindy let out a sigh. “Both fortunately and unfortunately, you saying stuff like that will probably get you on that show.” She looked toward me as she continued. “And you, Ralphy, you should play up your red meat condition. People like a good sob story.”

“Do you think we should also bring up our financial troubles as well?” I Wondered.

“It can’t hurt.” She nodded in agreement.

“Well that settles it.” Randy suddenly started toward the door. “Put on some shoes, accountant chick, because you’re coming to space Hollywood with us.”

“I’m not going anywhere at this hour, especially while I’m in my pajama’s.” She immediately protested.

“What’s the issue? It’s not like you have any friends or anything better to do.”

“Th-that’s not true. I have plenty of friends and you don’t know what I do in my free time.” The antenna on her head nervously twitched.

Randy stared at her with an unconvinced look across his face. “Oh yeah, then what are these friends’ names?”

“Well… uh… there’s the nice old lady who always says hi to me when I jog past the bus stop, during my morning workout… then there’s… uh… my parents...”

“I-I’m your friend.” I quietly muttered under my breath.

“My point exactly…Let me also remind you that, if I go to prison and my brother explodes, you’ll lose your only clients and probably have to shut down your accounting practice.” Randy tried to guilt trip her.

“What do you even need me for anyways? It's only teams of two that are competing.” She wondered.

“Someone’s got to be in charge of reconnaissance. You can dig up dirt on the other contestants, while we deal with winning the hearts of the judges.”

“I think you guys can handle this yourselves.” She remained unmoved by my brother's persuasion tactics.

Randy let out a huff, as he pulled my holo-phone out of his pocket. “I guess it's on to plan B.”

“When the heck did you take my phone?” I looked at him befuddled.

“You expect me to use the toilet without having games to entertain me?” He began scrolling through the contact list, until he stopped on one phone number in particular. “I guess we’ll just see what Mandy thinks of this.”

Mindy immediately jumped up from the couch. “You better not call my mom, dumbass!”

“Too late-” He was just about to hit the dial button on the holographic screen.

“Okay fine I’ll do it!” Mandy finally caved. “Just leave my mom out of this. I don’t feel like getting lectured by her this early in the morning.”

“I knew you’d see things my way.” Randy nodded with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“Whatever, just give me a second to pack-.”

“No time for that! we have to be in Space Hollywood by this afternoon.” Without another moment to spare, Randy rushed Mindy out of her apartment still in her pajamas and bunny slippers.

And just like that, the three of us boarded our ship and embarked on our journey to Space Hollywood…