A Failure of a Nephew

Jarel was on his feet in an instant. Before Quanlin could react, he was already in the kitchen.

The plate he’d eaten dinner from lay in pieces across the tiled floor, ceramic shards scattered like fallen petals.

Quanlin stood amid the destruction, looking genuinely distressed.

“Sorry…”

He sighed.

“I suppose it’s not that big of a dea-”

The front door slammed open.

Both of them jumped.

Sayang burst in, grey hair wild and slightly lopsided - she must have been preparing for bed.

“What was that? I heard a loud-”

She stopped mid-sentence.

Her eyes locked onto the scene before her. Her favorite nephew. Not alone.

A slow, cheeky smile spread across her face - the kind only elderly women seemed capable of.

“Oh! My! You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend, dear!”

Quanlin froze.

Jarel’s brain kicked into overdrive.

If he said no, that would raise questions. If he said yes, that would create problems later.

It was, frankly, a no-brainer.

“Oh, Aunty S-Sayang… yeah, I do. Did I forget to tell you?”

She nodded dramatically, pressing a hand to her cheek.

“And look at her! She’s such a cutie! Come here, dearie. Let Aunty Sayang get a proper look at you.”

Quanlin looked helplessly at Jarel.

He shrugged.

With visible hesitation, she stepped forward.

Sayang gasped.

“Jarel, you naughty boy! A cosplayer!”

Jarel muttered something incomprehensible as Sayang beckoned Quanlin closer.

“Bend forward, dear. Let me see your face.”

Quanlin complied - and immediately found her cheeks prodded, poked, and inspected. Her ears were fluffed. Her sweater tugged slightly. Just before Sayang’s curious hands could wander any lower, Quanlin took a careful step back.

Sayang chuckled approvingly.

“Good girl. Setting boundaries. You pass.” She nodded sagely. “You may eat my cookies too.”

Quanlin blinked. Looked at Jarel. Looked back at Sayang.

“Cookies?”

Sayang’s eyes widened.

“Have you never had a cookie before, dearie?”

Quanlin shook her head.

Sayang turned slowly to Jarel.

“You’re a failure, nephew.”

Jarel mumbled something unintelligible.

Sayang’s expression softened instantly.

“Well, my nephew is going to teach you all about cookies, alright? And if you ever need anything, or if he ever upsets you, you come straight to me, okay, dearie?”

Quanlin nodded rapidly.

Apparently satisfied, Sayang turned and marched out as abruptly as she had entered.

Jarel blinked in surprise. She hadn’t even commented on the shattered plate.

The front door clicked shut.

Quanlin turned to face him.

“Who was that?”

He exhaled.

“Sayang. My neighbor.”

She frowned.

“But you called her Aunty.”

“Yeah. She insists.” He shrugged. “We’re not actually related.”

Quanlin smiled softly.

“That’s cute.”

Then her expression shifted again.

“Also… what’s a girlfriend? And why am I one of those?”

His heart nearly stopped.

There was no way she didn’t know that… right?

“Are you serious?”

She scowled.

“I’m not exactly from Earth.”

He scratched his head, still trying to assemble a coherent understanding of who - or what - she was.

“But… surely you know what dating is, right?”

She considered that.

“Is it related to marriage? Because I know what that is.”

He stared at her.

“You know what marriage is, but not dating?”

She shook her head, pouting slightly.

“I’ve only been here for a few hours.”

“You’ve only done a few hours of research on humans?”

She nodded.

He groaned.

“Is Hell’s management a mess or something? Because if you’re this underprepared-”

She cut him off.

“I’m not a demon of sloth. I’m the Demon of Sloth. I am my own management.”

That did not help.

“Then why are you here?”

She glared.

“Because I’m sick of the productivity of humans and want to put an end to it.”

“Then why me?”

“You looked like an easy target.”

He groaned again.

She was probably right.

“So you know next to nothing.”

“Correct.”

“And how long have you existed?”

“This conscience has existed for around five hours.”

He blinked.

“This conscience?”

She nodded.

“Whenever I have to do something on Earth, which isn’t often, I create separate beings to do it for me.”

“So you’re you… but not you?”

“That’s one way to look at it.”

He rubbed his forehead.

“Is Quanlin even your real name?”

She shrugged.

“It is for this being.”

“Are you connected to the real you at all?”

“Not really. I operate autonomously.”

His mind was spinning, but the questions kept coming.

“Is this even what you actually look like?”

“Also no.”

He stared at her.

“Then why the kemonomimi appearance?”

She blinked.

“Kemonomimi?”

“The wolf ears. The tail. The fangs,” he added, noticing for the first time that her canines were slightly sharper than they should have been.

“Oh. I chose to add those.”

“Chose?”

“Yes. Evidence suggests humans are more susceptible to manipulation when looking at something cute.”

She gestured at herself.

“Combine ‘cute’ and ‘human-adjacent,’ and this is the result.”

She wasn’t wrong.

She was adorable.

He nodded slowly.

“That… actually makes sense. But why are you telling me all of this?”

She smiled.

“Because I think you’ll resist less if you know what you’re up against.”

Strangely, that had the opposite effect.

All he could see now was a cute wolf-girl with a wagging tail.

He smiled back, speaking before thinking.

“I’m going to call you Quinn.”

She blinked.

“…What?”

But he’d already turned back toward the shattered plate.

“Now let’s clean this up-”

She growled.

“No. You relax. I’m cleaning it.”

He frowned.

“You’ll probably just break something else. You clearly have no idea what you’re doing.”

She shuffled, suddenly sheepish.

“But I’m the Demon of Sloth. I can do anything.”

“Can you magic this back together?”

She shook her head.

A laugh escaped him.

“You can deposit riches beyond my wildest dreams into my bank account and threaten me with Hell, but you can’t fix a broken plate?”

She shook her head again.

He sighed.

“What kind of magic is that?”

She poked her fingers together.

“It’s all I thought I’d need for this being.”

He stared at her.

“Can you explain that?”

She nodded.

“I only give my extra consciences the bare minimum of magic in case they turn against me. That way, I can stop them before they cause too much damage.”

He paused.

“You sound like you learned that the hard way.”

She nodded.

“Mhm.”

He exhaled slowly.

“In that case, here’s a suggestion. I’m going to teach you how to do things. Eventually, you’ll be able to do them yourself… and complete your mission.”

Her eyes lit up. Her tail wagged.

“You’d do that for me?”

He nodded.

Of course he would. He’d be stupid not to.

“Yeah.”

She looked like an overexcited puppy.

“Thank you!”

Then something shifted. It was subtle, like a switch being flicked.

Her arms folded. Her expression hardened into something almost tsundere.

“You’re weird, human. Helping a demon ruin your life.”

His smile didn’t falter.

Her tail didn’t slow.

He crouched down and began gathering the larger shards.

“Guess that’s what makes me an easy target.”

He glanced at her.

“Now, are you going to help me?”

She nodded rapidly and crouched beside him.

And as they picked up the broken pieces together, a plan solidified in his mind.

He was going to take this demon intent on ruining his life-

-and turn her into a housewife.