Chapter 18 ~ Syllogizing

Kurai found herself in the parlor. It had become an increasingly beloved spot as she found herself wanting to stay out of her room as much as possible during daylight hours. She had already spent enough time in there. Normally she would be reading, but it wasn't uncommon for one of the boys of the household to be around. She would always have something to chat about then, and such was the case today with Meus over flowers.

"—I've found that such flora, pretty as they are, simply are too much maintenance. You see, their stems are covered in thorns and that's the least of their problems. They naturally grow towards the nearest object and try to grow as to wrap around it, often looping backwards according to its whims and making a mess of coils. If the object is a full sized hedge or a wall, they will become a distorted mess of curls that, in their failure to ensnare their target, droop to the ground without support. Getting any aesthetic pleasure out of them requires constant supervision."

"That does seem like a lot of trouble. I can see why it's best for Robin that we don't add more things to the garden." Kurai paused momentarily. "...Why is he the only one tending to the estate anyways? With how big the place is, surely it could use more helping hands. A dedicated gardener too, no less."

"It's unnecessary. The lad keeps things spotless, and he's never felt like too much was asked of him. He'd actually be more stressed if other servants were brought in. Taking it as him being insufficient and getting frustrated with his new coworker." He crossed an ankle over the opposite knee. "I'm surprised how much of a liking he's taken to you, all things considering. Though it might have something to do with you not 'competing' for his work."

"Mm... I suppose you're right. I wish I could have done more to help Robin instead of..." She bit her tongue. She was letting too much slip out. Thankfully the professor seemed to not think much of it.

"It wouldn't be a good idea." He shook his head. "You've been getting along so well, but if it's anything like with the temp workers, he would get quite caustic if you worked alongside him."

"Yes, I've seen that side of him..." She thought it would pique his attention, but Meus didn't seem surprised to hear it at all.

"Though if you do wish to help, I could always use some assistance in the labs. You've been surpassing all expectations in your lessons, besides the latest ones on etiquette. In fact, there aren't any more subjects I've had in mind after this latest cirriculum, so you will have plenty of free time soon."

"...I can do that." She couldn't help the morose look taking hold of her brow.

"What's that look for, old girl? It is merely an offer, not an order. You can refuse if you dislike the idea."

"It's just..." She promised Robin she wouldn't reveal everything to the professor. Still, she couldn't keep everything bottled in. Her cheeks were getting flushed as her voice was beginning to crack. "...I've always been your pupil, sir. It's all I've ever known..."

"...And the thought of it ending weighs so heavily on you, I see. I suppose I should feel proud you found the arrangement so comforting rather than restrictive." He removed his reading glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wasn't the kind of man to sob over such a matter, but at the same time it was clearly not pride that was swelling in his chest. "Education is the foremost cradle for any nascent mind, Kurai. Every human of good standing that you'll meet has had that much. But one cannot spend their whole lives in a cradle. You're going to have to face the world beyond these walls for far weightier matters than you've been accustomed to. I would like to make it as easy on you as I can, but I won't lie and say the world will be a stress-free place, nor will it welcome any new souls with open arms.

"All that being said, I can also see that you're not telling me the full story. Something must have prompted these woes. What happened, my pupil?" He received no answer and just as little eye contact. "I can't help you if you don't tell me."

"...I... I don't want to talk about it..." This time had nothing to do with the promise. This painful feeling in her chest was silencing. She understood why the maid couldn't find the words for it either. Almost as an afterthought, she added "Not... not right now."

"Hm... I don't like secrets being kept from me, Kurai. I would not ever snap at you nor try to hurt you, I hope you know that. It feels as if you're afraid of me and that's why you're struggling to speak. That's the last impression I'd ever want to give, so surely you can see my concern here. Am I wrong about this?"

"No, you're..." She had never seen him furious even once. Even when he was in the throes of grief, he never raised a hand against anyone, from what all she's heard. "...you're right that I'm afraid, but it's not of you. It's that world beyond you spoke of that is terrifying. Seeing how cold and distant people are, how quick they are to anger and violence. Even when it's not directed at me, I can still feel their pain. I... I'll admit that I don't feel safe going outside anymore."

"So something did happen during your outing with Robin." He stroked his beard, not needing a confirmation.

"...How do you manage it? Living in such a scary world."

"I'll admit that it has never weighed heavily on me as it sounds it does for you. It has always been the machinations of others that grabs my attentions, rather than the threat of violence. But I won't say it's an entirely foreign fear. If anything, I simply trust in my abilities to deal with such rare incidents as they come, along with my know-how to keep those incidents rare."

"What kind of machinations could be as scary as having your life at risk...?"

"The kind that also put your life at risk, as well as those you care about the most."

"Such as?"

"...Well, I've recently received a type of legal challenge. My older siblings have decided to try and interfere with my business dealings to ruin my finances, unless I comply by naming them as the sole beneficiaries of my will. I currently have a trusted individual written in my will to handle things if something were to happen to me. If the family gets ahold of things, it would not be good for anybody I care for. They're effectively demanding I sacrifice the future wellbeing of those around me in order to maintain what I have today. That is the kind of machinations I refer to. Nonviolent types can often be even more cruel than their counterparts, simply using different methods to get what they want."

"That's horrible! Aren't your family members meant to be there for you, not threatening you with demands?"

"Human beings are complicated things, my dear. There are very few things we are 'meant to' do that are truly guarantees. At any rate, I am not as helpless as they would desire. I know how to push back in a way they'll listen to. But these are the things that keep me up at night, since you've asked."

"...Goodness, it does sound complicated. And I really can't help but worry when it's all this over your will. You're... you're not sick, right?" He didn't look anything but the picture of good health.

"Not at all. It's not the items on the will itself that matters, so much as the fact they're written on it. If my dear brother and sister can ensure what they'll receive, they can already begin using it as a bartering chip. The business world, you see, is a temporally-agnostic beast. The wheels of industry as we know it turn with the fuel of things that don't yet exist. It's how loans and debts are made so often. You can use collateral of things years out in the making, if you have the capital to make your word worth such a weight. Both financial capital and social capital. In other words, if I sign a contract ensuring they'll receive something, they can already barter with the promise of it the same day, even if it will be decades before it enters their possession proper. Does that make sense?"

"...Ehh... It isn't completely going over my head, but..." The look on her face was nothing short of stumped.

"You've only been with us for a few months now, and only now are getting your feet wet with society proper instead of purely academics. That feeling of confusion will grow lesser when you've had more experience witnessing it. Still, I hope it's not a world you'll ever be forced to go sink-or-swim in."

"Does it ever stop being scary, though?"

"I believe I've already answered that." He always had such a way of telling her to reflect on matters.

"Ah, right..." She went silent for some time, as Meus went back to reading a newspaper to give her some time. It took several minutes before she spoke up again, having arrived in the parlor once more after crossing a thousand thoughts. "...I want to be able to protect myself, Mr Meus. I feel like that's the only way I'll be able to feel as safe and confident as you do."

"I see." He finished writing down an entry in a crossword puzzle, before setting it down and giving her his attention once more. "What did you have in mind?"

"That's what I was hoping you could help me with. I want to learn how to use magic. I... I learned a lot between yesterday and today. I think I'm ready to take the first steps."

"Do you think you're ready, or are you ready?" He held a hand to his chin.

"I... I am ready!" She clenched her fists and pumped her arms in with enthusiasm. By the smile on the professor's face, it was the reaction he wanted.

"Good! Very much so. Now, you do know you need a particular element in mind to study for? I checked your samples, and I'm afraid you're not an adept at any element." It would be too easy if she had that kind of luck.

"...Well... I know Miss Irene uses water and Robin uses earth. Surely you have an element too, sir? Before I make any decisions, can you let me hear your experiences?"

"Ha! I suppose that's as blessed an idea as they come. In my youthful hubris, I decided to take up light magic. It would not help you one bit in self-defense, I can assure you. You'll be better off with anything else."

"Hm... What does light magic do, really? I couldn't get a clear explanation of it yesterday."

"That's a question I and every other light magician are still trying to find the answer to. It's very poorly understood and hard to utilize. There are also next to no resources for learning it, considering the recency of its discovery. You might notice I rarely use magic, and that's because there's little of value I can do with it besides not needing a candle in the dark. The path of a trailblazer can lead to wonders, but usually you only find why people stay on the trail."

"You don't sound too happy with it."

"I hardly need magic in my daily life, so I'm not missing out on much. Light as an element is purely the realm of experimentation, so I can't say I didn't know what to expect." He looked amused, if anything. "Now, onto your decision?"

"I think I..." She recalled her earlier phrasing. "I mean, I know I want to go with the aspect of wind after all."

"Not fire nor earth for self-defense?"

"They might be effective, but they're too..." She recalled the burns and cinders Robin was left with, and the complete maiming his opponents received. "...too violent. I would rather send people crashing away with gusts of wind rather than outright killing them."

"...I suppose wind would be best for that. You might not be surprised that the majority of people learning magic have some goal of self-defense in mind. Though just as often, you see people giving up once it proves too demanding. Somehow I doubt you'll struggle with that, considering how well you already learn things. Very well, we'll see about starting the basics next week, though it may take longer to get a tutor proper."

"...Next week...? C-Can we not get something going sooner? Today, even?" She tried to hide the pressure in her voice. She did not succeed.

"...By which you mean there's some urgency you're still not telling me, likely in regards to recent events. I will be asking Robin about what happened, I hope you realize that. If there's anything you would like to tell me about what transpired..." He could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't going to budge. He gave a weary sigh. "...Be that as it may, we do have some relevant books in the reading room for your perusal, although I cannot guarantee they will be of much help when you've yet to learn the basics of magical control."

"...Understood, thank you." She quickly left the scene to go to the reading room. She didn't know how to put her concerns to words, nor how to continue lying about them. It was better to keep her mouth shut and leave as quickly as she did.

The reading room itself wasn't too far away. Really, it was a miniature library no matter how you looked at it; enough so that it was catalogued, and so it wasn't hard for Kurai to find what she was looking for. She gathered a small stack of textbooks before sitting down and opening up to the front page of one. The minute hadn't passed before she was already fifty pages deep. Her learning aptitude was no joke, considering how quickly she could tear through texts. It wasn't purely because of mental aptitude either. In shifting her form, she had learned to make small adjustments at her whims to take liberties with physical limitations. Her eyes were no exception, and while it would be impossible to notice any differences by looking at her, she was able to focus on a far wider area than human eyes could. She could see an entire page at once with the same clarity a normal person could read a single word. It was more than mere skimming either; she could recite texts verbatim to either of the boys of the manor when prompted, as well as understanding it critically enough to provide her own insights. She had made other adjustments too, throughout her growth. When her life was purely spent in learning, she had adapted to be extremely efficient at it.

Of course, translating textual understanding to practice wasn't something she was quite as good at. The first time she pulled an experiment in the kitchen proved to be several learning experiences in a row. Truly the most efficient forms of failure you'd ever see. Those errors were also not repeated after that. Stumble as she may at first, she learned quickly in the field too.

Still, she couldn't master a school of magic just from a single reading session. She couldn't even begin the basics. As much sense as it made to harness the internal energies with the latent ones around you, shaping it into an aspected form from which your will flows through... It just wasn't happening. No matter how the novae tried to feel inside of her for any magical effect, she couldn't manifest it in any way. Either she was missing something from her pool of knowledge... or she was missing something physically that humans had.

All she could think to do at this point was asking guidance from one of the boys. Robin would probably be better for it. He would understand full well how much she wanted to learn this before any risk of prison time happened.

Setting the books down, she found that he was already back. Seems it took a few hours for all her studies and practice attempts. He couldn't have been back for long, considering what she could hear just around the corner.

"—know you lied to me. The old girl was in here just shy of weeping her eyes out. Why did you try to hide this from me?"

"I apologize, sir. I did not realize the situation warranted such concern. We simply had some rude harassment briefly directed our way, and so we left the park. That's all there was to it, sir, honest."

"If it is truly that minor, I doubt she would have been such a wreck over it."

"It brought back troubled memories of being attacked, sir. She had confided that in me, but I had calmed her heart in the moment. I did not anticipate there would be such lingering worries for her. I accept that it was my failure to recognize the gravity of the situation, and such was why I had not mentioned it. I am far too used to such treatment by the general public, you see."

"That does not put my heart at ease either, lad. I did not proscribe you errands out and about just to have you mistreated."

"It's fine, sir. I have had worse." There was a brief pause. "Of course, Kurai does not deserve such things, and so I will be more vigilant in the future."

"Please be more honest with me as well, young man. I take no enjoyment in seeing your misery either."

"...Yes sir, I give my word." The conversation continued on to smaller matters. Kurai gave them some space lest one of them notices her listening in.

It was a good thing she wasn't involved with that talk. She wouldn't know what to say to Robin lying so egregiously. He spoke in such a natural, innocent way too. She certainly would have had no reason to doubt him if she wasn't at the scene of the crime herself. She didn't have to wonder long before the maid made his presence before her with a wide smile.

"I have good news," he began, hands folded behind his back in servile excitement. "We got away with it after all!"