Chapter 27 ~ Sightseeing

A vehicle drifts along with a heavy drag, its movements far from calm. The sole passenger gazes around this dreamy world.
Where are we going?
The lead of the vehicle laughs.
Why does it matter that you know? A passenger will end up at the same destination regardless. You have given up your control by choosing to be here.
The passenger resigns herself.
If you will not tell me that, at least inform me what vehicle this is. I cannot tell.
That's simple. A boat takes you across water. A carriage takes you across dry land. A sled takes you across the snow. So then, ask yourself. What vehicle takes you straight to Hell?

It was with a relentless headache that Kurai awoke in a residual mess of a bed. She had given herself up to that wolfgirl, and she had learned of passions that did not come naturally to a nova vitae such as herself. Yet in spite of how much the experience and intimacy meant to her, here she found herself alone. A note on the night stand was all that remained.

Im outta here
dont waste my time lookn for me
you were all rite
stupid lazy virgin
you can pay for the room princess

No signature accompanied it. It was beginning to dawn on the novae that she never actually got the wolfgirl's name, much less any way to contact her again. She held her unsteady head with a hand, and the paper soon unceremoniously landed in the carpet as a crumpled ball.

The novae grew her bones into thin yet sturdy needles, with which she was able to partway repair her mangled dress into a mostly presentable form. At the very least, one had to look closely to notice its ragged state, rather than being obvious at a glance. She avoided receiving any comments as she dutifully carried out her instructions of paying for the hotel room, then set on her merry way home.

A knock-knock-knocking at the estate's door was sufficient to summon a particularly adorable maid to answer it. Kurai's teeth shone in her grin, while he could not decide on which type of exasperated to be.

"...You... Where the Hell were you, Kurai?! What happened to your dress? Are you okay?!"

"Oh, Robin, little Robin," Kurai giggled, slipping past him to get out of the doorway. "Why the fuss? You knew I was going out for the evening."

"Just for the evening! You were supposed to be back yesterday. You don't know how much you've worried the master sick... and me!"

"Oh, right," she carelessly admitted. "Well, you know how it is. Do your best, and if that isn't enough, it isn't enough~."

"You say that, but you still look like you've been thrown out of a window... Are you sure you're really okay?"

"Oh! I'm more than fine, don't you worry, little Robin. In fact, you've got to hear this! You see, my attire is the result of... Well, first, I was going around the city admiring the sights, when I encountered this one woman..."

Kurai meandered between overlong details all while mixing innocent events and absolutely ribald actions back to back with reckless nonchalance. She had no concept of such dirty topics not being things you just blurt out so casually, and the only hint she had that something way wrong was the way all color had drained from Robin's face. There was some pain in his eyes, yet he never tried to stop her from continuing even once.

"...and, well, I hadn't noticed how late it had gotten by then. Still, you had to have been there~. Aah, Robin, have you ever experienced something so pleasurable?"

"...Aha... Y-you really... really had your first time with someone else... after all... haha... ha..." His voice was unusually faint.

"Um... Are you okay, Robin dearie?" She tilted her head. The answer was clearly 'no', but she couldn't make sense on why.

"H-haha... I really... really knew I should have..." he mumbled without making much sense. Kurai put a finger to her chin, before taking the opportunity to pull the boy into a comforting hug.

"There, there. I don't know what's got you so down, but I know it'll get better."

"...I don't need your pity. I should have known better than to think I mattered..."

"Of course you matter! You're dear to me, Robin. You're like a brother to me!"

The maid hadn't moved a muscle. Did he just sob...?

"I... I need to be alone for a while. Please go... do whatever you were doing." He slipped out of her grasp and drearily wandered off down a corridor of the manor. Kurai watched his departure, but ultimately decided to let him be. Instead, she went to the professor's office.

"Good morning, Mr Meus. I'm baaaack!" she merrily announced.

"Oh? Robin had said you were only sleeping in today." He looked up from his desk. "Is there something I should know about?"

"Ack..." Did she stumble into something once again? This time, she wanted to avoid giving the maid even more hassle. "B--back from my slumber, of course! Yes, I was just sleeping in, ahaha..."

She didn't have to guess how poorly her lie worked. Meus was giving her The Look. Even she didn't misunderstand The Look.

"...Okay, fine, I had asked Robin to say that. I was actually out... just for a bit..."

"Dong what, exactly?"

"...Strolling, again!" She gave him the most sincere smile she could possibly fake. It seemed to have passed inspection, as she avoided receiving The Look this time.

"Yes, well, good afternoon to you as well, Kurai. You really do need to consider your actions a bit better. Didn't you have that outing with Irene today?"

"Ah—! W-wait, did she already stop by? Surely I didn't miss her...!"

"You'll have to ask Robin, though I'm not aware of any visitors so far today. You might want to consider a change of clothing, though. What happened to your dress?"

"Uh, well, you see..." She scratched her cheek. "...I'll have to tell you about it later! I need to wash up! Bye!"

He called after her as she scampered off, but it wasn't like he was going to chase her down. Besides, she did need to clean herself up a bit better now that she was back home. It was a shame she couldn't tell him about her wolfgirl encounter, but she'd just have to save that until later too. The real tragedy was her dress, once the bone pins were taken out. It was hardly a cheap one, and yet it was so twisted, stretched, and torn. Maybe a tailor could fix it up, but Kurai couldn't guess how they'd work such a miracle. She had no choice but to retire the lovely black dress for one of a blue hue, still with black lacing and lining all over.

The dress wasn't the only thing changed. Kurai hadn't adjusted her appearance one bit, and yet it seemed like there was a faint glow to herself that wasn't there before. She felt strange seeing herself that way. It might have not been a bad look, but she was so accustomed to everything in the mirror being her own doing...

"Hello?" came a familiar woman's voice, to the brief rhythm of knocking. "Are you there, Kurai?"

"One minute!" answered the novae, quickly snapping out of staring into the mirror to finish getting herself dressed. It took well over a minute, but the apothecary didn't seem annoyed by the wait.

Irene leaned back against the wall, arms crossed. She had on a knee-length dark blue dress coat with a matching skirt, both over a white blouse with a thin ribbon tied neatly at the neck. It struggled to match with her insistence on wearing boots even now, though they were of a finer quality than her usual work boots, still austerely worn with a pair of opaque leggings.

"Good morni—... uh, afternoon, Miss Irene! My, what a cute outfit you have on today!" Kurai beamed at the older woman.

"...Good day, Kurai." She closed her eyes as if verbally wounded. "Would you be so kind as to never call me that c-word again?"

"What, cute?"

"Yes. I'm short enough as it is. I don't need to be belittled even further."

"But why! It's such a lovely thing, isn't it? Why..." She trailed off, seeing the anguish in the poor apothecary's eyes. It wasn't hard to guess that 'adorable' was off the table too.

"Ehehe... H-How about 'charming'?"

"I'll allow that, but I'd rather not have my appearance dwelt on like some kind of doll." She sighed with the weight that can only come from far more experience with the matter than one cares to admit. She didn't need to point out that Kurai's ribbon-laced dress was the far more dollesque of the two. "At any rate, it's good to see you again. I hope I'm not intruding? Normally a guest doesn't show up to the host's bedroom, but Robin led me here and walked off. I think he's sick with something..."

"He'll be fine, he's just been weird today. But don't worry, you're not intruding at all! In fact, please do come inside! My room may be small, but I have so, so many things I'd love to share with you now that you're here...!"

"Ahem..." Irene cleared her throat, her eyes betraying the anxiety of someone who was just asked to walk into a bear trap. "Perhaps later, but we were to visit the zoological gardens, yes? We should take advantage of the few remaining hours of a full sunlight, shouldn't we?"

"Oh, right, great idea! Okay, let me finish getting ready!" Kurai darted back into her room in a hurry, checking herself and her belongings to ensure she wouldn't be forgetting anything. In the end, she was already finished in all ways save for putting on her cutesy Mary Jane shoes.

The zoological gardens touted itself as the eighth wonder of the world: a place where all corners of the world converge into a single paradise where all creatures, great and small, live side by side in harmony, all for your viewing pleasure. All for a modest fee, of course. Anybody who was below the median income would likely be saving up most of the year just for a single family trip.

For the esteemed apothecary, she didn't so much as bat an eye when getting day passes for her and Kurai. Her main focus was on a map as part of a brochure. She traced a finger along it with the careful planning of a field commander before a march. Kurai, meanwhile, couldn't keep focus on any one thing in particular. Just as soon as she'd gasp and cover her mouth looking at one exhibit in the distance, she'd spot another one and jump in excitement. It seemed like she was ready to run off on her own at any moment.

"Look, Miss Irene! They're letting people walk into the cage with all those birds! We've got to do that first, we've just gotta!"

"In due time, Kurai. There's another exhibit I want you to see first."

"Pleeeeaaaaase can we go there first?"

"...Fine, I suppose we can. Afterwards, please do let me lead."

Part of it had to do with indulging the boisterous girl, but more than that, Irene still was scrutinizing over the map. There must have been something to her routing more than just finding the funnest exhibits, but the novae wasn't going to question it. She was practically bouncing as they entered the aviary, seeing birds of all colors and shapes all around. She held out a hand for one to land on, but none were taking her up on that offer.

"Oh, look at that one! It's so tiny, it's adorable! And that one there has so many colors...!"

Irene had little comment on the matter until a jay flew up and landed on her arm. She frowned at the distraction, but it didn't stop her from lifting a finger up, and when the bird only tilted its head she gently stroked its plumage. It seemed to enjoy the attention, but it flew off just as suddenly.

"Aww, I want to do that too..." Kurai pouted.

"It's probably because you're shaking with excitement too much for them. Not to mention animals don't like eye contact."

"So I have to pretend to ignore them first?"

"...You should just enjoy the sights. Maybe some other time we can go to a petting zoo." Folding the brochure, she tucked it somewhere on the inside of her coat. "Alright, I think we're good now."

Afterwards, Kurai was led a considerable distance to the other side of the park, right to the primate exhibits. Specifically to the largest enclosure, which took the form of a small island surrounded by water, in a less elegant analogue to a moat around a castle. These occupants were far smaller and hairier than most royalty.

"Chim-pan-zee...?" Kurai read out from the nearby sign, tilting her head at the animals. One of them flashed its teeth at her, and she returned the smile. "Oh, look at them! They're so... ah, what's the word? They're so ugly but so cute at the same time!"

"Is that how you see them? Well, don't stare into their eyes for too long. Chimpanzees get antsy when you do that. Even more than most animals do."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of doing that to such friendly and happy creatures."

"Is that also how you see them? You might find the rest of their description interesting." The apothecary folded her arms casually behind her back.

"Oh?" Kurai began before reading the exhibit sign. "Oh... Ohhh.... Oh, oh dear." While the zoo might have had some incentive to exaggerate a bit, they didn't need to invent much when it came to chimpanzees. The sheer brutality the little buggers were capable of also served as the clearest indicator of intelligence to the researchers. Anything that said about what intelligence really means was tactfully left unsaid on the sign. "...Well, at least they're still ugly-cute."

"Quite powerful things too, aren't they? Even smaller than most humans, but they can hang from their arms without any effort at all. Even trained circus acrobats can only manage it for so long. I've heard these apes can sleep hanging from trees with only their arms, but I have my doubts."

"So that's why they're small, so with their lighter bodies they can climb where humans can't..." Suddenly, the novae turned towards Irene, beaming. "Hey, so since you're also small, does that mean you also can—"

"I'm going to stop you and ask you to think if you really want to finish that sentence." Aside from the snippiness, she didn't even show a reaction this time. "...And no, short humans are not automatically acrobatic. You're focusing on the wrong aspect. It's their arm strength and endurance that enables it. Compared to a human with an arm the same thickness, a chimpanzee's muscles simply bestow more physical strength. Some say it's at least five times the equivalent strength, but again, from what I know of biology, I have my doubts."

"Huh. How are they that much stronger? Wouldn't they have to be beefier than that?"

"They probably aren't five times as much, but they're still stronger to the point they can swing and hang with the ease that most humans can only dream of. It has to do with the length and density of muscle fibers, for starters, though there is a bit more to it. It's very efficient when it comes to strength, but as a trade-off they lack the fine motor control that humans have. Do you see their muscles beneath the fur?"

"Um..." The novae squinted, but it was hard to make out at this distance. "I dunno, it's hard to see from here."

"...Kurai. We both know you don't need to squint."

The novae glanced over at Irene in innocent confusion at first, but all it took was one look for her to get the meaning.

"You can see with a lot more clarity than this, can't you?"

"I... haven't tried it with long distances, no." The novae's eyes had adjusted to help her with reading and other tasks, but her upbringing in the confines of the manor never gave her much cause to deal with distances this far. Even in the outside world, there was never such incentive.

The apothecary softly smiled, closing her own eyes briefly. She nodded her head to the side, gesturing over to a bench further away from the crowd than the others.

"I won't ask you to try to adapt your form in the middle of public like this, especially with an adaptation you've no experience with. Still, with these apes, I hope you can keep the thought in mind of their similarly shaped muscles that are nonetheless more efficient when it comes to strength. You were right about other creatures such as squirrels taking full advantage of their small size and weight to climb trees, but you might see there are ways to accomplish it with subtler changes. No different than allowing yourself to see more clearly even at such distances too."

"..." Kurai gripped the hem of her dress more tightly than she realized. She didn't need to glance around to know they were well out of earshot of anybody else. "...Are you telling me to change who I am, Miss Irene?"

"No, I am simply informing you of your options. From what I've seen, you made yourself to be just like a human, though, haven't you? Down to mimicking our very weaknesses as well. I believe you would do well to take some inspirations from nature."

"I don't want to." Kurai shook her head solemnly. "I'm happy the way I am, Miss Irene. I don't want anything to change."

"You said you haven't tried adapting your eyes for long distances, but you have done so for other things, no?" She waited for a response, but the silence left her having to continue. "Though I imagine you really do mean you're happy with your current appearance, given what you said. It's why I have elected to suggest subtler changes. Ones that should be invisible to everyone but you."

"Why does any of this matter?"

"Hm, I can give you two main reasons. The first is that your own weakness puts everyone at greater risk, not only you."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Think of the night you attacked those constables. You were backed into a corner and had to take desperate measures, and things almost ended very, very poorly for everyone involved. Had you the strength, surely you would have had more options and wouldn't have felt so frantic in the moment."

"I wasn't scared. I mean, I was only scared for Robin."

"You could protect him better next time if you were stronger."

Again, there was only silence between the two, as a solitary bubble right next to all the cheers and jeers of the crowds lacing around each and every exhibit. It was all that commotion that allowed them such privacy.

"...The second reason is a more selfish one. I told you how scared I was of your potential if left unchecked. Therefore, when you expressed not wanting me to leave you be, I feel the only recompense I can give is not leaving you unchecked. I suppose it ties in to the first reason too. If you were stronger, I think a person like you wouldn't misuse it."

"...First you say I'm only 'like a human', now you're calling me a person. Which one is it?"

"They're not mutually exclusive. Let me be frank, you're not a human, Kurai. You'll never truly be one. That's not a bad thing either, but you don't need to hold yourself to the standard of being the most human-like you can. Even humans don't do that. You have unique gifts. Wouldn't it be better to share them with the world?"

"...Ehe... ehehe..." Kurai giggled to herself in a strange bit of amusement. "I don't know about the world, but I'll at least share them with you." She pulled the older woman into a sudden hug. "Fine. I'll go along with your little lesson. I wish you would have told me upfront. Here I thought we were just having fun watching the animals."

"That's also not mutually exclusive. You can still have fun while taking notes, can't you?"

"I guess..."

"Oh, do cheer up. I'll worry about whatever the scientific observations entail. You just need to write down whatever catches your eye." She pushed a notepad with an accompanying pencil into the novae's hands as they separated from the hug. "Really, anything at all. I won't judge what you write."

"I suppose it is one way to make sure I'm paying attention to the creatures beyond their cuteness levels. Thanks, Miss Irene."

As they got up to continue their tour, Kurai stopped to write down a few lines regarding the chimpanzees.

Name: Chimpanzee
Shape: Like a human, but not
Friendly: All signs (1) point to no
Cuteness: Ugly but cute
Distinguishing features: Climby arms
Overall rating: 4, but I don't know if it's out of 5 or out of 10

Afterwards, Irene led her towards the birds again, this time specifically to the hawks. Somehow, Kurai wasn't surprised. It was oh so convenient after the apothecary brought up her eyes.