Chapter 30 ~ Singling

While it was far from Kurai's worst outing, having to pick herself up from landing face-first in a muddy puddle was still not a pleasant way to conclude her day. It certainly did not feel unbefitting at this point after the rest of her excursion to the vulpine side of the rift. Her wallet had already been snatched by a white-haired foxfolk, while several others had also offered her an honest welcome in the form of well-aimed stones. Having one of them trip her into a puddle was simply par for the course at this point.

Name: Foxfolk/kitsune
Shape: Impish
Friendly: None
Cuteness: None
Distinguishing features: Shorter therefore closer to Hell
Overall rating: Worst

She didn't have a notepad with her, inadvertently sparing it from getting ruined along with her clothes, but she made certain to keep a mental note to write it down when she got home. She only escaped the rift with jeers and laughter from people on both sides. At the very least, she had been instructed to wear crummy, ragged clothing instead of her preferred style of dress. She absolutely would have never forgiven them if her good clothes went bad because of it. These rags on the other hand were certainly being thrown in the trash as soon as she could get a bath.

"I understand now why they have no rights," the novae griped as she muddied the floor on the way to the bathroom. "And why everyone I've spoken to treats them like little demons. Because they are!"

"Please give yourself a moment to take a deep breath, Kurai. I've never seen you this angry before." Robin seemed conflicted about something as he led her through the corridors.

"It's because I was trying to be a nice person! Oh, you won't believe the things they said to me...!"

"Oh, I can imagine. Foxfolk weren't that rare in the slave pens. They always kept them apart from the rest of us so we wouldn't tear each other apart. Never knew a single one who wanted to be friendly with me."

"...Haah..." Kurai finally complied with his request, steadying her breath to regain even the smallest bit of composure. All she could smell was mud.

"And here you are, madam," he announced, opening the door for her. "Worry not, I will get a change of clothing ready for you. Please, do take the occasion to relax." No doubt he would have to mop up behind the wet trail that marked her passage.

"Oh, thank you, Robin. You're the best." She nearly hugged him, before stopping herself short as to not ruin his apron. She really should get out of these rags...

It seemed as if the maid expected her outing to go like this, considering there was a fresh, warm bath waiting for her. She first partook in the custom of rinsing herself off with water from a bucket over a drain, so as to not pollute the bathwater with all the grime. Being able to enjoy such a lovely bath was important for cleansing the spirit rather than just the body. She took another deep sigh as she propped her feet up on the rim of the tub. As the warm water soaked into her skin, she was almost capable of forgetting her woes.

What troublesome little wastrels...
Really, I bring spare money to try and ingratiate myself with the foxes, and then they go and steal it before I get the chance.
Of course I never heard a name, but I won't forget the face of that brat. If I ever get my hands on her...
...Oh, why does it always go like this? I really do know so little about people even now, huh?
I feel so eager to talk about matters no one else wants to hear.
I imagined myself fitting in well with those bastards, not realizing they were never going to like me.
I couldn't even get the wolfgirl's name when I stopped by that pub again.
Either nobody recognized her, or they too were disrespecting me. As if I'm not worth their time.
...
What does it take to earn respect?
From humans, foxfolk, beasts, whatever else is out there?
Everything I've done just feels so natural to me, but then they seem to always respond in their own natural ways.
How rarely that turns out to be anything good for me...
...I think I'm seeing a pattern that wishes to unfold into a certain path.
I don't want to go down it.

She gazed over into the shadowy corner. The faded, translucent Unknown was there again. It bothered her far less when they weren't in public. It almost made her feel less alone.

"...You too, huh?" she vaguely remarked, eyes locked with those shadeful ones. It never responded. Not even once.

She rubbed a soapy cloth over her skin. Something about the act felt meditative. She could alter so many things about herself, but there were still some qualities she had to achieve the same way as anyone else. Cleanliness was one of them. It made her feel more normal.

I suppose those mangy rats wouldn't know the first thing about hygiene, would they? How much that slum reeked...
...No, stop that, Kurai.
I really am letting my emotions get the better of me.
Those people might truly be the worst I've had to deal with, but I shouldn't let myself sink down to their level.
Robin was right that I don't think I've ever felt this level of indignation before.
It's their fault, though, not mine.
...No, I should strive to do better.
Well, it's what they deserve.
I can't be letting myself get this worked up.
I can't be letting people keep treating me this way. If they even deserve to be called "people".
Just relax. It was a learning experience. I'm fine.
It was a mistake. I need to make it hurt others, not me.
No, I don't need to cultivate such bitterness...

The door cracked open, revealing a familiar maid with a neatly folded set of nightwear for the novae. He shyly peeked around the door in an unusual amount of caution. It was far from quiet, but Kurai was glad to have a distraction right now, however briefly.

"I have your clothing, madam. Is there somewhere you'd like for me to set it down?" It was an odd question, but not an entirely unreasonable one.

"Oh, um... You can set it next to the sink, I suppose?"

"As you wish, madam." Taking it as an invitation to let himself inside, he gently closed the door behind him. He walked slowly to the sink, only betraying a single glance the bathing woman's way before he set the clothing where it would be safe from getting soaked. "Ah, and I will be collecting your... discarded attire as well, while I'm here. Do you wish for them to be washed and placed in your wardrobe?" A very polite question, and completely superfluous with how obvious it was she felt no attachment to the rags.

"Oh, you can just throw them out. I have no desire to wear such fine wastebinnery again."

"I understand." He gave a very cordial smile, making his way to the discarded cloth. He paused in a spurious bit of contemplation. "Oh, though before I do so, would you need anything else? I simply would not wish to dirty anything after touching those muddy clothes. Such as if you needed help washing your back, as we used to do."

"It has been a while, hasn't it? I know Mr Meus hadn't wanted you to keep bathing me, and... with a recent talk I believe I understand why, but... Well, I think I could use it right now. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?"

"I understand. It can be stressful having to do everything on your own. It's why I want to help after seeing how distressed you were earlier." With practiced ease, he took the washcloth from Kurai to assist her with the cleaning. She had already been bathing long enough that the water's surface was opaquely covered by a thin, white layer of soap bubbles. "Really, you do deserve to always have a smile instead of that frown."

"Mm... You think so? Sometimes I don't know what I deserve. Much less understand what humans think I deserve. It's all so... so chaotic. The more I understand the world, the less I understand it... Does that make any sense?"

"Hehe, it's certainly one way to phrase it, but I think it makes sense. There really is so much to be confused by, isn't there? I have heard the master has spoken with you about the future of the estate. Of your own future. I can't say I know any details, but it certainly must weigh heavily on you. That's why you went to see the foxfolk, wasn't it?"

"Yes, I thought I was being clever. As if I could exploit a loophole in the system by pretending to be a foxfolk and get by their human checks. But really, who would want to be one of those mangy foxes? They're all such shrimpy things too. There's no way I could pass for one with my body."

"Why do you think that?"

"I mean, look at them! I don't think a single one was my height. They were barely five feet for the whole lot of them. Certainly none of them had my curves either. I couldn't pass for one without giving up my body, and I definitely don't want to change myself that much."

"Who says you have to?" the maid questioned innocently, beginning to wash Kurai's long hair. "What if you simply stayed as you were, but now with different ears and a tail?"

"It wouldn't remotely look convincing."

"Nobody says that the foxfolk have to accept you. Just that you have the right parts to get by the legal system. You'd be surprised how much they're willing to overlook even without an extra financial incentive. Those pen pushers aren't paid to care."

"Well... I'll admit that I have considered trying something out ever since meeting that beastly woman. I haven't done it, but I did wonder how I'd look with ears and a tail like she had..."

"Of course! Just give it a try at first and see how you like it. Oh, but you simply have to show me when you do. I imagine you'll look positively gorgeous with such fluffy bits." He rubbed the top of her head where those ears would be. "Though then again, you always do look so beautiful."

"Oh, Robin... You're acting so cuddly all of a sudden!" It was coaxing a chuckle out of her. She rested her cheek against a hand.

"I simply can't help it. After all, if it does work out and you legally become part of the manor, I'll have no choice but to start calling you 'mistress'." He giggled as well, briefly. "Is that something you would like?"

"Ehe... I think I would, actually." She was feeling a bit strange all of a sudden, but it wasn't unpleasant.

"I think I would too. You really have become such a mature lady since we first met. You would make for such a fine noblewoman, you know?" By now, he had stopped any attempts to pretend he was washing her. His hands were gentle as he held her shoulders. "It may be above my station to say, but I hope that no matter what happens, you'll entrust everything to your humble maid. I know that I'm willing to entrust myself to you."

"Robin...?" The strange, warm flushed feeling was only building in her chest.

"So please, won't you give me the chance to prove what you mean to me...?"