Otaku Crush Hard

The room was dark, lit only by the soft glow of the TV in front of me. I sat cross-legged on the floor in my underwear, eyes fixed on the screen, binging anime well into the night like the responsible adult I was. No parents. No supervision. Nothing.

"This dimension is already lost, Captain. There's no point wasting more resources here. We must retreat."

The woman's face took up the entire display as she spoke. Glowing green eyes, jet black hair—with the former being a result of her genetic augmentation as a battle angel.

"Elia, I can't let the people die. I can't let them suffer if there's a chance to save them."

This second woman had red hair and glowing red eyes. Captain Lumia. Battle angel. Leader of strike team one, a unit of the World Defense Force.

Both women wore high-tech body armor with metal wings as they floated above the wreckage of the dying city. God, the animation was so beautiful. So crisp and clear. So colorful. So worth the increase in subscription fees I paid every month to keep watching the series.

"Captain! Behind you!"

The blue-eyed woman swung her energy sword, arcing a blast toward her captain. The other woman ducked at the last minute, and the superheated strike sliced a giant zombie bat that had been flying at them clean in two.

Whoa. Any later and the captain would have been zombie food.

"Thank you, Elia," the redhead said. "Order the rest of the quadrant. Tell them we're leaving soon."

I stifled a yawn and stretched my arms over my head. I tore my gaze from the screen long enough to glance at the clock.

I nearly had a heart attack.

"4:30 a.m!? Are you freaking kidding me?! I have school tomorrow."

I jumped to my feet, mortified. I needed sleep. I didn't want to doze off in class. What if I started drooling again and Sakura Jima saw me? She probably didn't date guys who drool.

Nope. I wouldn't ruin my chances before I even found the confidence to ask her out.

Still in my boxers, I frantically searched for the remote, spotted it on the ground, grabbed it, and aimed it at the TV, prepared to hit pause.

But then...

"Elia! You're bleeding! You've been bitten!"

My mouth fell open in shock. I did not see that coming.

Curiosity hit hard. What would happen to Elia? She was second in command of strike team one, not to mention Lumia's best friend. This couldn't be the end of the road for her, right? Could the writers be that heartlessly ambitious?

My finger hovered over the pause button.

"Leave me, Captain. Don't worry. Just get out with the rest of the squad while you still can. Don't waste your time trying to save me. Go! The portal is closing. Go! Now! Before it's too late."

"Come on, Elia, don't say things like that," I yelled animatedly at the TV, still in my boxers. "Especially to your captain slash best friend."

I sank down onto the floor, fully pulled back into the show. I still had three more hours before school. I could spare another thirty minutes.

"No angel gets left behind, Elia. Now come on." The captain reached out and grabbed the blue-eyed woman by the hand. "Let's get out of here. Together."

"Way to go, Lumia. So badass." I cheered, pumping my fist in celebration.

Both women smiled at each other, then spread their metal wings and shot straight up into the sky. Hordes of zombie bats swarmed the squad, but the girls kept fighting them off with energy swords as they rose toward the portal above.

The animation was so smooth. The music was on point. The action was magnificent. Okay, I didn't care what anybody thought. Battle Blaze Chiaroscuro had to be one of the greatest shows on the planet.

I was not sure when I fell asleep. Maybe it was after the episode. Maybe it was after an additional four. I could not say. However, the next time my eyes fluttered open, my alarm clock was faintly ringing in the background.

"What the...? It's morning already?"

***

After tossing a half-eaten sandwich from yesterday into the oven, I trudged upstairs to shower, changed into my uniform, rubbed on an extra layer of deodorant just in case, then came back down to grab the sandwich on my way out.

I shuffled to school like a zombie, barely able to keep my eyes open. I checked my wristwatch as I walked.

8:05 a.m.

Good, I was early.

I had enough time to eat before class started. I just needed somewhere to sit.

I found a bench outside the school gates beneath a tree. I sat down, pulled my sandwich from my bag, and started eating. Groups of friends walked by as I ate, chatting among themselves, laughing, socializing. None of them looked my way, none waved or even noticed my presence. And that was okay.

I didn't envy any of them. I was an introverted otaku through and through. Mingling with crowds wasn't quite my forte.

I find my fun when I'm alone doing the things I like. Did I wish I had a friend to discuss my interests with? Yes. But not to the point where I would go around begging people to hang out with me.

I was perfectly comfortable by myself, thank you very much. Always have been.

As I chewed mouthfuls of my hastily reheated leftover dinner turned breakfast, I spotted Sakurajima arriving at school. She was the picture of dazzling elegance as she confidently strolled forward with her friends, her moderately long, luscious hair flowing behind her in the soft morning breeze.

I quickly hid my leftover sandwich before she could see it. I didn't want her to catch me eating like this. What if she thought I was uncool or something?

She was beautiful. Vibrant eyes, smooth pale skin. Just looking at her made my heart race. Oh Sakurajima, my queen, does a lowly introverted otaku have any chance with a girl like you? Neh? A goddess of your divine eminence?

Alas, the fair maiden did not notice my existence when she passed right in front of me. She was too busy chatting and laughing with her friends.

I could have said hello, hi, or simply waved. You know, like normal people do without breaking a sweat. But the mere idea twisted my stomach in knots. I felt like I was going to hurl if I tried something like that.

After she and her friends were out of sight, I dug out my sandwich and finished it. I drank some water, dumped the wrapper in a nearby trash can, and wiped the corners of my mouth for any embarrassing crumbs. I didn't want Sakurajima to catch me with poor table manners if she saw me later.

I grabbed my backpack and headed toward campus. As I passed another bench, I noticed a girl nervously scribbling in her notebook.

Everything slowed as I turned to look at her. This wasn't due to some cliché of being entranced by her beauty, or because I'd fallen in love at first glance—although to be fair, her pastel blue hair and glasses did make her quite cute and easy on the eyes.

No. What caught my attention, and the reason I was still staring like some kind of creep, were the anime stickers covering her backpack, shoes, and notebook.

Battle Blaze Chiaroscuro.

Huh.

Was she some kind of fan?

***

Classes began for the day, and before I knew it, it was all over.

Established friend groups filed out of the classroom just as the bell rang. The teacher's announcement about submitting homework tomorrow was quickly drowned out by the verbal socializing of the moving crowd. I was the last to step out, as my desk was situated at the very back. I waited until everybody else was gone before grabbing my things and leaving.

Entering the now-deserted hallway, I relished in the quiet comfort. I thought back to a moment from earlier when Sakurajima was asking around for an extra pen. Almost everybody said no, they only had the one. But I did. I had an extra.

I could have used the chance to finally talk to her. Called her name, made her turn around and notice me as I handed it over. Simple. Easy. Straightforward.

Who knows? Maybe from that simple exchange, we could have potentially grown closer, become friends, started dating, fallen in love, and eventually walked down the aisle toward a future together.

Okay, that was a lot of wishful daydreaming, even for me. But at the end of the day, it didn't matter anyway.

I couldn't bring myself to say her name. I just sat there at the back of the class, crippled by social anxiety, the extra pen growing warm in my shaking hand.

I didn't want people to laugh if they saw me, the quiet kid, trying to talk to a girl. And not just any girl. Sakurajima. One of the most popular students in school.

What if I said something stupid?

I tried calling out to her. I really did. But fear rooted me to the spot, the words stuck in my throat.

I completely locked up.

Paralyzed by the possibility of embarrassing myself, I remained seated like a statue until the teacher handed his pen over to Sakurajima.

"Make sure you remember to give that back when you're done," he said.

I was embarrassed. How was I supposed to one day confess to a girl I had a crush on when I couldn't even say her name? I was so pathetic.

Sniff! Sniff!

The sound of someone crying snapped me out of my thoughts. I didn't realize they were running directly toward me until it was too late.

"Oof..."

The person came crashing into me with full force, papers and textbooks flying everywhere. Like me, they had also been carrying a few of their study materials, and now it was scattered all over the ground.

I landed on my butt, pain exploding from my lower jaw. This other person fell in a similar position, wincing as she rubbed her forehead.

"Ow," she said softly.

Wait. She was a she.

A girl.

And not just any girl. Pastel blue hair and glasses. The girl from before. The girl with the Chiaro stickers.

"Are... you okay?" I asked.

She briefly locked eyes with me. Bright, large, amber colored eyes. They looked so innocent.

I was speechless for a moment, mouth hanging open like an idiot. I knew she was pretty but... not this pretty.

"Hey, wait. Where are you going?"

The girl quickly gathered her things from the ground, stuffing them haphazardly into her bag before scrambling to her feet and dashing away.

"I'm s-s-sorry!" she shouted, still fighting back tears as she bolted.

"I'm s-s-sorry!" she repeated. She didn't stop running.

It took me a second to snap out of my confused state. "That was so weird," I muttered as I reached out to collect my own things. "I wonder what made her upset."

When I finally got home, I broke into my normal routine. I ordered lunch and dinner, showered between meals, then played some games on my Game-Boss until the sun went down.

At 8:30 p.m., it was time to crack open my homework and finish it as quickly as possible so I could resume binging the new season of Battle Blaze Chiaroscuro in my underwear. There were perks to living alone in high school, and that right there was very much one of them.

I grabbed my backpack, undid the zipper, then dumped the contents on the living room center table. A single piece of paper slipped out alongside my textbooks, one I didn't recognize at first glance.

"Huh? That's strange."

I reached for the piece of paper and picked it up. I studied it for a moment, turning it over in my hands. Nope. This was definitely not mine. I didn't recognize the handwriting.

Whoever it belonged to did have gorgeous penmanship though. The lining of the kanji, the spaces—absolutely beautiful. I could only dream of such skill.

"Dear Narumi, captain of Eastern High Academy's soccer team."

I trailed off as I began reading.

"My name is Rina Kimura, class 1B, first year.

I know this is probably really random and I'm sorry if this is weird but I've been watching you play soccer since the beginning of the school year and I couldn't stop thinking about you so I decided to just write this even though my hands are shaking so bad right now I can barely hold my pen lol.

I don't really know how to say this because I've never done it before but I really like you. Like, really really like you. The way you run on the field and how you always help your teammates up when they fall, it reminds me of this show I like, Battle Blaze Chiaroscuro. Your selflessness is just like Captain Lumia's from the show. She also never lets any of her teammates fall behind. Ever. Just like you.

And the way you smile whenever your team scores, it makes my heart all warm inside.

I'm not good with words and this letter is probably so cringy but I just wanted you to know how I feel. If you're not interested I totally understand and I won't bother you again. But if maybe you wanted to get to know me sometime, I'd really like that.

Anyway, sorry for bothering you and sorry if this is awkward. Please don't show this to anyone I would literally die from embarrassment haha.

· Rina.

P.S. Sorry if my handwriting is messy I'm literally shaking omg. I'm so excited. And nervous. Okay bye"

"WHAT?!"

My eyes widened in horror as I jumped off the couch, the paper trembling in my hands.

Holy crap, this was a confession letter. I was holding somebody's confession letter. But how did it get mixed in with my things?

I looked down at the paper again. At the name at the bottom.

Rina.

Rina Kimura.

Did I know anyone with that name?

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

I thought back to the girl this morning. The girl on the bench. The girl with pastel blue hair and glasses and Battle Blaze Chiaroscuro stickers all over her stuff.

She'd been nervously scribbling something in her notebook. And later, she'd crashed into me while running in the hallway, sniffling.

Was this what she was writing? A love letter? And why was she crying? Did she approach him and get rejected?

I held the letter up again, reading over her words. Her handwriting really was gorgeous despite her claiming it was messy.

That name. Narumi. I remembered him now. He was indeed captain of the soccer team. I'd seen him around campus a few times. A third year. Popular, social, handsome, not to mention nice and well-mannered. He was basically the full package. Every teenage girl's dream guy. And this Rina had a crush on him too, huh?

I guess that made sense.

I had to give this back. I didn't even care how it got in my bag in the first place, although I suspected it was when we had our little accident. I must have grabbed the letter without knowing, after she'd run off in distress, dropping it in the process. She was probably worried sick looking for it right now, likely thinking her secret was out.

Alright, first thing tomorrow, I would find pastel girl and quietly hand her back her letter and pretend as if nothing ever happened. Then, if I could work up the courage, I might even ask her about her Battle Blaze stickers because they really looked cool. That way I could quickly change the subject without dwelling on the awkwardness.

Okay, now back to homework. And after that, sweet sweet anime.