The Truth

Another week went by without incident. Successes and failures came and went, and Shohei had been convinced to bring some of his things to Kyourin’s apartment, so he could stay over more often. It wasn’t a hard decision. He didn’t even feel like he’d gotten away when he was alone in his own home, so what did it matter? No, the only way to break the silence was confrontation.

Confrontation with a man, who had drugged Shohei and injected him with unknown substances before, possibly even causing his traffic accident. A man, who he’d not even known for half a year, and who kept his former lover in a tank under his bedroom.

It took Shohei days to realise he’d never work up the courage to speak up. He would have to confront Kyourin another way. One day, with fear for his life, he entered the underground chamber again, purposefully leaving the door open for Kyourin to find. He sat down in front of the tank and waited for fate to happen.

The glass behind him was cold and the floor even more so. Sitting in front of Saikawa like this felt like praying at his altar, as if he was a god captured by human hand, kept here against his will. Calm and serene, there was nothing audible in the room except the sound of the oxygen pump and the ventilation system. Every now and then, something beeped in the distance.

“Did you end up here against your will?” Shohei asked. “I can’t imagine anything else. I’m sorry.”

He wrapped his arms around his legs and stared at the door. What would Kyourin say when he found him? Would he be mad? Disappointed? Or would he tell the truth? Shohei liked to imagine that he would. He didn’t like the idea of having fallen for a completely unredeemable person.

After waiting for more than an hour, he heard footsteps on the stairs. A few moments later, Kyourin appeared in the doorway. He leaned against the frame and closed his arms.

“I didn’t you’d choose to come here so soon.”

“So you know I’ve found this place a while ago?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t build it without security.”

Shohei laughed and leaned back against the cold glass. “What don’t you know?”

Kyourin walked over to him, ever step loud and echoing throughout the chamber. He looked up at Saikawa, then down at Shohei, kneeling in front of him. With one hand he brushed the hair from his forehead. Shohei shivered under his gaze.

“I don’t know what you will do when you know the truth.”

“Does that matter?”

“Yes. I can’t lose you.”

Shohei huffed a laugh. “Because you actually love me? Or because of your experiments?”

“Can’t it be both?”

Shohei slammed his hand against the glass wall behind him, making the water ripple, plants waving agitatedly. Kyourin’s head snapped up, looking at Saikawa.

“How can it be both when the man you love is right here?” Shohei yelled.

Kyourin grabbed Shohei’s head in his hands and forced him to look into his eyes, which were wide and wild, and full of uneasy energy. Shohei tried to draw back, but the tank was right behind him, Saikawa looking down on them like an idol above the altar.

“I care for you. I didn’t think I would, but I do. Believe me.”

Shohei’s eyes filled with tears. “Care for me? What does your idea of care look like? Testing new drugs on me? Telling me it’s just allergies?”

“I took care of you, didn’t I? Every time something happened, I made it better.”

“Every time something happened? Don’t make it sound so passive! It’s every time you committed a crime against me!”

Kyourin took a deep breath. With a glance upwards first, he took Shohei into his arms. His embrace was soft and warm. Everything this room wasn’t.

“Fuck you!” Shohei shouted, muffled against Kyourin’s chest. “I hate you!”

“You have every right too.”

Shohei sobbed into the other man, teats soaking into his shirt.

“Why did I have to fall in love with you?”

Kyourin held him even closer. “I’m going to tell you what happened. I owe you that much.”

He turned them around, so that he was on the floor with his back to the tank, and Shohei sat sideways in his lap. He held him close and kissed the top of his head.

“We were both working here when the lab was being built…”

——

Eisaku knew he had to confront the man he loved, even if he didn’t want to. The project was too important. He waited in their shared lab for Ran to return, twirling a vial of liquid between his fingers. Ran had been snooping around the last few weeks. He had noticed. Of course he had. But he hadn’t said anything because Ran wouldn’t have to look in secret if he hadn’t hidden anything…

When Ran finally entered the room, he had run though countless scenarios in his head. Yet when he saw him, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t need to bother—Ran took the initiative when he saw the vial.

“Willing to come clean at last?”

Eisaku laughed. “I don’t need to. You know everything already.”

“I’d still like to hear it from your lips.”

“Fine. I’m planning to advance the study on my own terms.”

“It’s not safe enough to use on humans yet.”

“It is.”

“I know I won’t be able to deter you from this. You’ve planned everything out,” Ran said. “And you’re going to put yourself in the tank.”

“I can’t force anyone else to do it.”

Ran sighed. “You don’t have to. We run the tests properly, then find a subject when we’re ready.”

“That’ll take years. A decade, maybe.”

“It’s due process.”

Eisaku shook his head. “It’s slowing down progress. And you’re working against me too. Don’t you think I realised you exchanged the liquid in this vial? The one you put into this was a completely different consistency. It took me weeks to make a new one. What did you do with the original?”

“I drank it.”

Eisaku’s hands started to shake.

“No. When?”

“This morning, when I saw that preparations are complete.”

“You absolute fool.”

Ran huffed a laugh. “Look who’s talking. Who would monitor the progression if not you? You can’t be the one to take it. But you also can’t tell anyone else to do it. So it could only be me.”

“Why?”

“Because no one else in this world trusts you as I do.”

Eisaku looked at the vial and his eyes darkened. He raised his hand to open it.

“Eisaku! You can’t!”

The other laughed. “I’d rather be with you.”

Ran stumbled forwards, falling half across the desk as he knocked the vial out of Eisaku’s hand. It fell on a stack of papers, unharmed. Eisaku reached for it, but he was too slow. Ran had already uncorked the small glass container. Eisaku’s eyes widened in panic, but he was too late. Ran downed the liquid in one go, throwing the vial to the ground as he was done, shattering it into a million pieces.

“What did you do? You can’t have two doses of this! It will…”

“Eisaku…”

“Shut up!”

“I trust you.”

Eisaku’s fingers closed around Ran’s throat. He squeezed, unrelenting, hard, Ran’s pulse jumping under his touch, breath becoming ragged. Eisaku felt nothing but rage, even as Ran’s muscles relaxed and his body grew limp in his grasp.

“How dare you take this decision from me!” he screamed at the unconscious man. “How dare you… how…”

His vision blurred. What? What was happening? He…

“Ran…”

Large tears dropped from his eyes, directly onto Ran’s face. Eisaku relinquished his hold, only to bend down and draw Ran’s body into his arms.

“I love you. I love you so much. You can’t die before I…”

His eyes fell on Ran’s hand, which still clutched a piece of paper. With shaking fingers, he opened it. It was a letter. A love letter to him. And a confession. Ran was sick. Terminally. He had kept it a secret all these years, working himself ragged to make Eisaku’s dream come true.

Eisaku swallowed his sob. Ran trusted him with his life. He’d find a way to

cure him using the technique they had developed together. Ran would wake up again, no matter how long it took.

He picked him up and carried him towards the underground chamber. The tank was already prepared. There was no time to lose.