The Hesitation

Bri stood up and walked over to Jazzy’s table. "Heyyy, I was looking for you."

Jazzy turned, her smile fading into something more polite and distant. "Hey, Bri. How was the talk with the professor?"

Bri’s face crumpled into a worried mask. "Hey... something’s been bothering me. Why didn’t you want to join our study group? Was I annoying you?"

Jazzy scratched the back of her neck, looking at the floor. "Uhh, no. I just was busy. I had to help my mom."

She’s lying, Bri’s mind screamed. She’s going to leave me, isn’t she? She hesitated.

"Anyway," Jazzy said, standing up. "I have to go. I’ll text you later. Don’t forget our date tonight." She leaned in and kissed Bri on the mouth. Bri’s face flushed deep red, her heart soaring as quickly as it had crashed. Maybe I was overreacting.

Back at her apartment, Bri was vibrating with excitement. She was half-dressed, makeup done, looking at herself in the mirror. She sent a text: Can’t wait till tonight!! I’m almost readyyy!

Her phone buzzed almost immediately.

Jazzy: Sorry baby, we have to cancel tonight. Something came up. I'll make it up to you.

Bri’s heart didn't just break; it felt like it evaporated. Maybe I shouldn’t have texted. I annoyed her, right? Why me? Why does she hate me? Her mood swung violently into a dark, cold anger. I’m better off alone. I will always be alone.

The mental breakdown was quiet and sharp. Bri sat on her bathroom floor, the sting of a blade on her wrist providing the only relief from the mental noise.

Her phone buzzed. It was Vera.

Vera: Hey! How’s the date going?

Bri: Not good. We had to cancel it.

Vera: Omg you were so excited for this too. Are you okay?

Vera: Wait... I just saw Jazzy at a KBBQ place.

Bri: Who is she with?

Vera: Just a group of people.

Bri put the phone down. Her vision blurred. Why did she cancel to hang out with friends? She doesn’t like me anymore. What could it be? She gripped her hair, pulling at the roots. No, everything is fine. We are good. Just don't think.